Going to Odessa to see my SO WOOHOOOOO!!!!!!!

[Brad and Vika 129]

Wow, sounds interesting! Sorry I missed it. Where are the archives?

So, out of curiosity, how much of these kinds of husband-wife tiffs may be due to the non-USC simply venting some long pent up frustrations/issues/whatever after the complete change of life they have undergone since come to the US? Or, do you think these are just couple-specific issues? But, if the former, is it likely that at sometime many/most couples could expect that?

Oh yes, there WILL be issues Normally pretty harmless stuff though. Vika also tells me at every opportunity that I spend WAY too much time on VJ. Of course, she can spend eight straight hours on some .RU forum, and that is fine

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Oh yes, there WILL be issues Normally pretty harmless stuff though. Vika also tells me at every opportunity that I spend WAY too much time on VJ. Of course, she can spend eight straight hours on some .RU forum, and that is fine

Pfffft. No issues.

Alla never says those things to me. But when I am on VJ she will suddenly have homework I can help her with, proof-read an essay, type something for her, etc. If i do something for her as well, all is OK. I don't watch TV so that is not a problem in our house. Sometimes I just take my fishing rod and walk to the lake. That's why I took up fishing to begin with. Excuse to lay around and do nothing.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Wow, sounds interesting! Sorry I missed it. Where are the archives?

So, out of curiosity, how much of these kinds of husband-wife tiffs may be due to the non-USC simply venting some long pent up frustrations/issues/whatever after the complete change of life they have undergone since come to the US? Or, do you think these are just couple-specific issues? But, if the former, is it likely that at sometime many/most couples could expect that?

You will have some difficulties not encountered with a domestic marriage. The first 6 months is the worst, actually maybe months 2-8, the first two are newlywed stuff. Things seem to smooth out after a while. Now they are very smooth, really. Only occasionally I do something which I do no tknow is terrible until I do it and then I hear about it for a couple weeks at any opportunity.

Our new house has a basement with a laundry room. She was happy with the laundry room but says she will not "stay in the basement", she doesn't like basements and thinks they are unhealthy. So I said I would put my tools there and make a "man cave". What is a man cave? "You know, big screen TV with sports" (she hates TV and sports) "and posters of pretty girls in bikinis on the walls"

OH BIG MISTAKE!!!!!!!!! The girls in bikinis became "naked women" and why did I need to look at any other naked women? What is wrong with HER when SHE is naked? For about three nights she would wake up crying in the middle of the night..."You want other naked women you do not love me"

This was more than two months ago and now she is in Ukraine. She asked me if I put photos of naked women in the basement while she is gone?

she asked me once "How long would you cry if I died?" (be prepared for this sh*t) I said, "Oh, about 60 months" She said "60 months? You will not even live that long...oh, wait...MONTHS? 60 MONTHS??? That is 5 years...it is not long enough. I love you more than that"

You cannot win when these questions come and you cannot refuse to answer. She will keep asking.

[LvivLovers 39]

Wow, sounds interesting! Sorry I missed it. Where are the archives?

So, out of curiosity, how much of these kinds of husband-wife tiffs may be due to the non-USC simply venting some long pent up frustrations/issues/whatever after the complete change of life they have undergone since come to the US? Or, do you think these are just couple-specific issues? But, if the former, is it likely that at sometime many/most couples could expect that?

In our case, it was mainly just venting/adjustment pains...missing home, not being used to things, etc. Other than a few rare incidents like that one though it's been completely smooth sailing, so I can't complain at all. I lucked out big time.

The different cultures/countries/etc. can definately add extra difficulties to a relationship (as if relationships are not difficult enough on their own). But I think it ultimately comes down to the individiuals...RUB women are as different from one another as American women...some are easy to get along with and some aren't. I think mostly it's just going to come down to communication, understanding each other, not being selfish, and probably some extra tollerance.

[LvivLovers 39]

Pfffft. No issues.

Alla never says those things to me. But when I am on VJ she will suddenly have homework I can help her with, proof-read an essay, type something for her, etc. If i do something for her as well, all is OK. I don't watch TV so that is not a problem in our house. Sometimes I just take my fishing rod and walk to the lake. That's why I took up fishing to begin with. Excuse to lay around and do nothing.

I just want to say...Oleksandra finished English II this last semester and I am SOOOOO happy to not have to help her with any more papers! I'm still stunned at how much improvement she made in her writing in just 1 year, because I'll be honest...she said she hardly ever wrote any papers even in Ukrainian. So it wasn't just English grammar that was a problem...it was writing in general.

I'm still shocked (and really proud) how well she has been doing in school despite the language barrier...after 3 semesters she's gotten all A+ (just means 98%-100%) except for 1 A in a class where A was the maximum grade. I've helped tutor her a lot, but that makes it all worth it.

[LvivLovers 39]

You will have some difficulties not encountered with a domestic marriage. The first 6 months is the worst, actually maybe months 2-8, the first two are newlywed stuff. Things seem to smooth out after a while. Now they are very smooth, really. Only occasionally I do something which I do no tknow is terrible until I do it and then I hear about it for a couple weeks at any opportunity.

That sounds just like our relationship. Unbelievably smooth, but there were a few things that temporarily became big deals.

One...I found out she really doesn't like Metallica! lol I don't know if anyone else has heard the story that they played Christina Aguilera for like a year in Gunatanomo to try to break terrorists. Finally, they decided to try using Metallica's "Enter Sandman" and terrorists broke down within like a day. Reason being...they thought they were listening to the devil's voice. Apparently, it has the same effect on my wife. She loves Megadeth however but calls them MD because she doesn't like anything to do with death.

Likewise, she HATES any type of horror movie. It makes her crazy! I watch those alone now and save the comedys for us.

In the beginning, she hated that I played video games. Apparently, in Ukraine it's not looked upon favorably and most people that play them don't have jobs, etc. (Ok...maybe that's not so different from the U.S. haha) She eventually realized that's one of my hobbies just like she likes to knit sometimes. But it WAS a big problem in the beginning.

"and posters of pretty girls in bikinis on the walls"

OH BIG MISTAKE!!!!!!!!! The girls in bikinis became "naked women" and why did I need to look at any other naked women? What is wrong with HER when SHE is naked?

Just showing how different every RUB woman can be. My wife would have no problem with this at all. She appreciates a beautiful woman as much as I do even! Sounds like Alla came around though. I think sometimes there's just some initial shock but after thinking things through a bit, rationality sets in. ,

How long would you cry if I died?"

That, my friend, is what's known as a TRAP! You better have a Kit Kat bar to shove in your mouth when a question like that is asked because there is no good answer! haha But really? 60 months? Are you crazy?! lol Correct answers would be "I'd never get over it!", "Oh! I don't even want to think about it! *act like you are losing it at the very thought*", "A day or so...until I died...because it would kill me.", etc. That's pretty damn funny though....60 months!

[visaveteran 1]

In the beginning, she hated that I played video games. Apparently, in Ukraine it's not looked upon favorably and most people that play them don't have jobs, etc. (Ok...maybe that's not so different from the U.S. haha) She eventually realized that's one of my hobbies just like she likes to knit sometimes. But it WAS a big problem in the beginning.

Yes, I remember now. Your wife didn't like you playing video games which you were apparently playing many hours a day. Frankly, I'd land on the side of your wife on that one. I mean, here you have a beautiful wife and you're playing War Lord or whatever instead of taking care of business. I remember thinking that was a bit odd. But, hey, whatever floats your boat.

[LvivLovers 39]

Yes, I remember now. Your wife didn't like you playing video games which you were apparently playing many hours a day. Frankly, I'd land on the side of your wife on that one. I mean, here you have a beautiful wife and you're playing War Lord or whatever instead of taking care of business. I remember thinking that was a bit odd. But, hey, whatever floats your boat.

Well...I wouldn't say I do that INSTEAD of taking care of business. I'm a full-time stock trader by profession, have 2 other jobs on the side, and usually spend several hours a day tutoring my wife as well as spending quality time. But when I have down time and want to unwind, I do prefer something more active and challenging than TV, so I play games (probably stems partly from the fact that I studied to be a game designer in a past life) or work on my guitar playing. But you're right, everyone has different ideas about games...usually pretty polarized.

[visaveteran 1]

My wife watches porn with me...so other naked women are not an issue. Ukrainian women must be a lot more insecure and prudish than Russians. I think Russian women understand the true nature of men very well. We're horny bastards. That's why they accept their husbands having lovers under some circumstances and certainly don't fall apart if their man looks at porn or a Playboy fold-out.

As to how long I'd cry if she died? What a completely off the wall question. How can anyone know such a thing? Rendering an answer is completely useless and silly. Who can really say? Russian women are not big on crying men to begin with...and they know what makes a man cry...too much cheap Vodka? From what Ive seen, they seem to prefer the tougher type of man then the "sensitive" types.

Maybe Gary is being a little "creative" with us in the absence of his wife...who seems, more and more, to be the boss in this relationship.

[LvivLovers 39]

My wife watches porn with me...so other naked women are not an issue. Ukrainian women must be a lot more insecure and prudish than Russians.

Lol! You're basing this off how big a sample size?!? Come on, man. You know you can't draw conclusions on an entire group of people based on looking at a couple individuals. Everyone is different. I can assure you my Ukranian wife is neither insecure nor prudish...don't be so quick to judge, eh?

[visaveteran 1]

Lol! You're basing this off how big a sample size?!? Come on, man. You know you can't draw conclusions on an entire group of people based on looking at a couple individuals. Everyone is different. I can assure you my Ukranian wife is neither insecure nor prudish...don't be so quick to judge, eh?

You're right of course. But I'm taking the same liberties as others here in telling the newbies what to expect. All of us have very limited experiences to draw on...so who are we to be giving advice? Yet I see posters speaking like experts. Telling people what to expect the first 6 months of marriage like there's some really clear patterns, etc. Lots of pseudo experts. I'm just playing the same silly game.

[VisaJourneyLady 33]

You're right of course. But I'm taking the same liberties as others here in telling the newbies what to expect. All of us have very limited experiences to draw on...so who are we to be giving advice? Yet I see posters speaking like experts. Telling people what to expect the first 6 months of marriage like there's some really clear patterns, etc. Lots of pseudo experts. I'm just playing the same silly game.

Yes, yes, the problem with sweeping and demeaning generalisations about entire countries of women is the sample size. If only we could know about more women from the FSU, then we could make charts like they do with animals, with all the various species and characteristics.

[slim 1,514]

I don't know what you guys are talking about. I have ZERO problems with my wife.

I mean, after all, if someone saved me from the mines, breadlines and daily vodka-induced beatings I'd be perfectly happy too. I'd gladly cook, clean and give up the booty for the mere privilege of being around my saviour 24/7 and submitting to his every whim.

You guys must've married too "high" on the RUB totem pole. Next time, go more village or farmer's daughter as opposed to "I can speak a little English."

[visaveteran 1]

I don't know what you guys are talking about. I have ZERO problems with my wife.

I mean, after all, if someone saved me from the mines, breadlines and daily vodka-induced beatings I'd be perfectly happy too. I'd gladly cook, clean and give up the booty for the mere privilege of being around my saviour 24/7 and submitting to his every whim.

You guys must've married too "high" on the RUB totem pole. Next time, go more village or farmer's daughter as opposed to "I can speak a little English."

Yes...village girls are best. The Russian boondocks is where to look for an appreciative wife.

First question you should ask a Russian (FSU) woman is about her toilet facilities as a child. If it was inside, move on.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

I just want to say...Oleksandra finished English II this last semester and I am SOOOOO happy to not have to help her with any more papers! I'm still stunned at how much improvement she made in her writing in just 1 year, because I'll be honest...she said she hardly ever wrote any papers even in Ukrainian. So it wasn't just English grammar that was a problem...it was writing in general.

I'm still shocked (and really proud) how well she has been doing in school despite the language barrier...after 3 semesters she's gotten all A+ (just means 98%-100%) except for 1 A in a class where A was the maximum grade. I've helped tutor her a lot, but that makes it all worth it.

No, still helping out here. Alla is taking an "online course" while she is on vacation and she is sending essays to me to review before she submits them. She does real well, actually, but there is an occasional mis-spelling or misues of an article or "tense", but not bad at all. I reviewed two of her essays today, both multiple pages and I do not think there was more than 8-10 mistakes. And it is very difficult, technical writing.

It may be generalizing, but Alla does not accept anything but an A or A+ for her work or the boys. Is it a Ukrainian thing? She flipped out because she finished with a 3.93 GPA and wants to KNOW why she lost .07 point! Dammit! I keep telling her it is "near perfect" and all she wants to know is "What wasn't perfect???"

Yes...village girls are best. The Russian boondocks is where to look for an appreciative wife.

First question you should ask a Russian (FSU) woman is about her toilet facilities as a child. If it was inside, move on.

You are NOT the first I have heard that from, including FSU MEN.