She's in Zaa Plane

[mox 298]

I wish VJ had a smiley holding a sign that said, "BULLSH!T"

Ah, so this is what we've come to then is it? Can't even preface an opposing opinion with a conciliatory tone without pissiness? That's sad.

She will in about 16 more months.

Funny, she never mentioned that you knew her so well. Guess she's got some 'splainin to do.

I'm glad you're pulling a Susan B. Anthony yet again, mox, but instead of sounding chivalrous, it's sounding more and more like the guy who whispers to someone's girlfriend, "he's such a player. You should watch out."

Time was, you were good for interesting and thoughtful conversation. Sorry to see you've decided to switch over to the personal insult route.

[Brad and Vika 129]

Uh-oh! Looks like several more candidates for the ignore function I wonder if we all ignore each other at the same time, if some cosmic black hole will open up and suck the forum right over to the OT, or maybe expats - they need new meat over there.

[visaveteran 1]

Uh-oh! Looks like several more candidates for the ignore function I wonder if we all ignore each other at the same time, if some cosmic black hole will open up and suck the forum right over to the OT, or maybe expats - they need new meat over there.

Well, this just goes to show that we have to enjoy each day. Tomorrow we could all be ignored.

[slim 1,519]

Not trying to be pissy or insulting, just saying our "resident champion for women's rights" seems not to be genuinely interested in sticking up for a point he believes in but, moreover, sparking up a good debate.

And yes, I can be good for interesting and thoughtful conversation just not in response to the same tired drumbeat.

[Casper&Diana 0]

Oooo, I knew this was a tough group when I signed on! Hm, maybe time to close this thread? Seems that "Zaa Plane" landed long ago...

Just a thought.

[mox 298]

Not trying to be pissy or insulting,

You were right the first time...we do need a BULLSH!T icon.

just saying our "resident champion for women's rights" seems not to be genuinely interested in sticking up for a point he believes in but, moreover, sparking up a good debate.

Reading comprehension for the fail. There was nothing in my post about women's rights, and in fact it could have easily pertained to a woman bringing a man over. The point was not to treat your immigrant fiance(e)/spouse like a child, not to burn her bra.

And yes, I can be good for interesting and thoughtful conversation just not in response to the same tired drumbeat.

Oh you mean the same tired drumbeat like you're always on about? How she needs to pay her way, how she needs to learn English before you allow her access to anything Russian, how she needs to do things your way, how she needs to get a job, and all the other monotones that make up "Slim's Symphony Number 1"? That drumbeat? Yeah I agree, it gets pretty tired.

[AKguy 1]

Does dragging peoples posts down the gutter ever get old?

Sucks how common it is to watch one turn into a sandbox.

[mox 298]

I agree, and I won't claim innocence. But trying to avoid a negative tone is exactly why I prefaced my original remark with a conciliatory tone. Shikarnov picked up on it, I don't know why Slim didn't. Suggestions on how to improve forum relations are welcome.

[visaveteran 1]

When someone opens up their post by saying: "I'm not trying to be combative"...they're trying to be combative. Fix bayonets...they're coming at you. They have shown you their true intentions. And in this particular case, the intention was not to invite discussion, but to pompously lecture and scold some of us who harmlessly compared notes on our wives and fiancees life patterns.

What else should we discuss, jet lag? The best Vodka?

Edited May 13, 2010 by visaveteran

[Brad and Vika 129]

When someone opens up their post by saying: "I'm not trying to be combative"...they're trying to be combative. Fix bayonets...they're coming at you. They have shown you their true intentions. And in this particular case, the intention was not to invite discussion, but to pompously lecture and scold some of us who harmlessly compared notes on our wives and fiancees life patterns.

What else should we discuss, jet lag? The best Vodka?

Now you are just being provocative. You know guns and pie are the only safe subjects around here. What were you thinking?

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

I'm not trying to be combative, but you people make it sound like they're cocker spaniels or something. "Do they pee on the rug often?" "Do they do well around children?" Come on guys, put down the flint and mammoth skin. Your woman is going to behave differently from my woman who is going to behave differently from Brad's woman who is going to behave differently from Slim's woman. Yeah, they share cultural similarities for sure, but it's silly to try to plot out when they're going to start wearing sweats to the grocery store or if they will regress at the first whiff of homeland air. (I can pretty much guarantee my wife won't ever even own a pair of sweats, let alone leave the house in anything more informal than jeans. Another woman might start wearing sweats after one week. Who effing cares? She's not doing it to be the object of your scientific curiosity.)

I've talked to a few of the guys here, and we've compared notes and sure enough we see a lot of similarities in our wives that makes for interesting conversation. But if we were British and had married American women, we'd also see a lot of similarities in our wives. Guys. They're not software. And they're not children. Stop thinking and treating them like children. Your opinion isn't the only one that matters in the relationship. If she wants you to make whatever decision needs to be made, then fine. But you force your will on her at your own peril.

[visaveteran 1]

Now you are just being provocative. You know guns and pie are the only safe subjects around here. What were you thinking?

You're right. But don't forget...Slim brought us guns. Guess who brought us pie?

I've got this whole masculine-feminine thing going on in my head about guns and pie. You know guns are masculine. Pies feminine (i.e. mom's apple pie). Wonder how we might tie that into the forum dynamics? Anyone care to analize?

Not being provocative or combative mind you...just inviting discussion.

[slim 1,519]

My drumbeat may be tiresome to some folks, but at least it beats at a steady rate. It doesn't waffle from one beat to another simply based on who's monitoring my posts that day and/or how much time I've spent on OT or MENA lately.

As I posted above (and apparently ad nauseum in the past) there are certain universal truths that apply to those of us in the RUB forum. Talking about those truths shouldn't be taboo. Pretending they don't exist also shouldn't be taboo - switching between the two should. Make up your mind already.

You could maybe point to the suggestion of discussing pie to counteract the guns as a shining example of the above. "Guys, we're being too manly in here. Let's not forget to include something else for everyone." While I understand this is a family site and we're here for immigration purposes, this is the internet. If you don't like the content of a site..... FIND ANOTHER! See that's the beauty of the net. There are several sites dedicated to each and every topic you could ever desire. To say we're excluding certain people because we don't discuss pie is simply incorrect. We're here officially to talk about immigration. Dare I say we're one of the more efficient and effective forums for doing just that, especially when it comes to RUB-specific info. From there we naturally divert into friendly and familiar territory because our "job" is done. We don't exclude others from participating.

What I see is those participating in the "after work" conversations doing so at their own desire. Why is there a push to artificially stimulate conversation that would attract others? Is it to be more inclusive? Do we need to be more inclusive? Funny how this ideal has permeated through everything in life all the way to a specific internet forum. "It has to be fair for everyone or else it's wrong!" I'm sorry to tell all the lefties, I don't go to the Lifetime Network or BET forums and demand they talk about white guy stuff. Conversely I don't understand why we have a birdy here in the RUB forum singing "let's make this more open to women." I like having the women over here when they stop by. But it seems to me they're choosing not to stick around after their business is done and that's their choice - not ours. It's the same reason I don't cruise the MENA forum and then b!tch about it because they're talking about "girl stuff" over there. I understand (as a logical person who sees the world for what it is - NOT WHAT IT SHOULD BE) that a forum full of women who sponsor men are going to talk about women's topics more than they talk about men's topics. The difference is I'm not going to hang out in their forum talking about how they should be more inclusive and change the tone of their topics so "everyone" can participate.

This is the internet - not everyone needs or wants to participate. And there's nothing wrong with that.

Yes I realize at times in the past we'll have several women on here and they won't post too much because they're not too interested in our topics. However, I've observed women around the world, and one thing that is universal is they've never wanted or needed men to artificially include them. If they want to be included... they'll let us know.

[shikarnov 7]

And to think, you guys used to [appear to] be friends...

Anyway, what're OT and MENA? Some other topically related fora?

[Laveau 67]

My drumbeat may be tiresome to some folks, but at least it beats at a steady rate. It doesn't waffle from one beat to another simply based on who's monitoring my posts that day and/or how much time I've spent on OT or MENA lately.

As I posted above (and apparently ad nauseum in the past) there are certain universal truths that apply to those of us in the RUB forum. Talking about those truths shouldn't be taboo. Pretending they don't exist also shouldn't be taboo - switching between the two should. Make up your mind already.

You could maybe point to the suggestion of discussing pie to counteract the guns as a shining example of the above. "Guys, we're being too manly in here. Let's not forget to include something else for everyone." While I understand this is a family site and we're here for immigration purposes, this is the internet. If you don't like the content of a site..... FIND ANOTHER! See that's the beauty of the net. There are several sites dedicated to each and every topic you could ever desire. To say we're excluding certain people because we don't discuss pie is simply incorrect. We're here officially to talk about immigration. Dare I say we're one of the more efficient and effective forums for doing just that, especially when it comes to RUB-specific info. From there we naturally divert into friendly and familiar territory because our "job" is done. We don't exclude others from participating.

What I see is those participating in the "after work" conversations doing so at their own desire. Why is there a push to artificially stimulate conversation that would attract others? Is it to be more inclusive? Do we need to be more inclusive? Funny how this ideal has permeated through everything in life all the way to a specific internet forum. "It has to be fair for everyone or else it's wrong!" I'm sorry to tell all the lefties, I don't go to the Lifetime Network or BET forums and demand they talk about white guy stuff. Conversely I don't understand why we have a birdy here in the RUB forum singing "let's make this more open to women." I like having the women over here when they stop by. But it seems to me they're choosing not to stick around after their business is done and that's their choice - not ours. It's the same reason I don't cruise the MENA forum and then b!tch about it because they're talking about "girl stuff" over there. I understand (as a logical person who sees the world for what it is - NOT WHAT IT SHOULD BE) that a forum full of women who sponsor men are going to talk about women's topics more than they talk about men's topics. The difference is I'm not going to hang out in their forum talking about how they should be more inclusive and change the tone of their topics so "everyone" can participate.

This is the internet - not everyone needs or wants to participate. And there's nothing wrong with that.

Yes I realize at times in the past we'll have several women on here and they won't post too much because they're not too interested in our topics. However, I've observed women around the world, and one thing that is universal is they've never wanted or needed men to artificially include them. If they want to be included... they'll let us know.

Speaking if lady sponsors in the RUB forum: Anyone knows what happened to that pretty brunette who sponsored a fiance (or husband?) from Belarus? I forgot her screenname.