She's in Zaa Plane

[visaveteran 1]

My wife was like this initially... I remember getting a little miffed at the notion that going to the convenience store at midnight to pick up popcorn for a midnight DVD required 30 minutes of "prep" time. But, since then, she's definitely become Americanized. Now she'll throw her hair back into a pony tale, and run out the door in jeans and a sweatshirt. I admit there are times when I miss the sexy chick that gets all the stares, but I like my wife better this way. Also, she's more comfortable with herself, happy and relaxed. And my wallet isn't empty, which makes me happy and relaxed.

When does the "Americanization" kick in? My wife's been here two years and no sign of change. The only exception is if I really pressure her to quickly go out for Sunday brunch. Then in maybe 15 minutes she's ready. It seems the promise of good food has some power over Russians.

My wife doesn't even own a sweatshirt. One issue I do have around jeans is my wife keeps buying those jeans that are already worn out...including knee holes. #######! Spending $90 bucks to buy jeans with holes in them! Drives me crazy! In my day my mother would toss out jeans they now charge big bucks to buy. What a great marketing scheme!

I hear you about the money thing.

[shikarnov 7]

When does the "Americanization" kick in? My wife's been here two years and no sign of change.

My wife has been here for just over two years. But we lived together for three years prior in Russia. Our apartment there was like Little America, so she had a chance to "wade into the pool" sorta. She didn't start "letting go" until about a year in the states.

[slim 1,514]

I know this because Vika has an absolutely flawless memory for any mistake I make. I mean total recall - it is unbelievable.

My wife has one of those too. However, I'll never forget the day (and time and place) that she turned to me and said, "I know sometimes I must listen to my husband." SCORE!!!!

I remind her (often) of that conversation but she is quick to remind me that she said "sometimes."

...and she's armed with a credit card. I've noticed the monthly card balances going up.

But with the bills, I'm not such a a happy camper.

As long as it's her credit card and not your credit card, there should be no problems. And she has a job, right?

When does the "Americanization" kick in? My wife's been here two years and no sign of change. The only exception is if I really pressure her to quickly go out for Sunday brunch. Then in maybe 15 minutes she's ready. It seems the promise of good food has some power over Russians.

It took my wife a little longer than two years. I wanna say it was about two years and four months. One day we went to the grocery store and she (in her sweats and sandals) said, "I'm ready to go." I looked at her kind of puzzled and asked if she was going to wear what she had on. She said, "why I must dress nice for these stupid men here to look at me?" That was that.

She still dresses nice when she's going somewhere "out" but for quick runs or IHOP breakfast, she's ready immediately. My wife does the same as yours for breakfast - when it's time to go it's time to go!

My wife has been here for just over two years. But we lived together for three years prior in Russia.

It seems to happen between the second and third year.

[visaveteran 1]

As long as it's her credit card and not your credit card, there should be no problems. And she has a job, right?

She still dresses nice when she's going somewhere "out" but for quick runs or IHOP breakfast, she's ready immediately. My wife does the same as yours for breakfast - when it's time to go it's time to go!

It seems to happen between the second and third year.

Well...concerning the credit card, it's actually a separate account but I had to put my name on it for her to qualify...so I guess I'm liable.

The job front FINALLY looks promising. I have her lined up with a job at our nearby PX. She can bicycle there which frees me up from playing taxi driver everyday. Not a great job...but a way to get her foot in the door of the American workforce and allow her to continue to go to school for English. Once they get a job history, they can move around and do better, hopefully. But the new guys here should keep in mind that getting a Russian with so-so English a decent job is not easy.

IHOP is good for breakfast. We like greasy spoon, diner style when having breakfast, and we have one local diner chain that we like as well as IHOP. And the folks there definitely don't dress up...so that allows my wife to let go of the "dress up mode" easier.

From what you and others have indicated, my wife is due to go "sweat pants style" very soon. She hits the two year mark mid summer.

[AKguy 1]

I win.

3 weeks.

Ok, she worked here for 2 consecutive summers previously. Does that count as time served?

[visaveteran 1]

I win.

3 weeks.

Ok, she worked here for 2 consecutive summers previously. Does that count as time served?

Wow, now that's adaptability and independence...already dressing like the natives and hunting for her own food!

[Brad and Vika 129]

It seems to happen between the second and third year.

Good to know. I do see a gradual progression though.

[slim 1,514]

the new guys here should keep in mind that getting a Russian with so-so English a decent job is not easy.

That's a great point. If she has limited English skills even a job in retail (at the mall, Wal-Mart, etc.) or as a waitress is sometimes a hard sell. My wife was overly qualified to work at a national chicken wings and beer restaurant but didn't get hired there until after she worked at a small mom and pop place for several months, completed ESL class and worked at a more upscale place as well.

Unless she's going to be a stripper, English should be her (and your) first priority. She needs to have a good command of the language even to get a basic job. Applications are another factor. Speaking to someone and working is one thing, filling out a job application and talking through an interview is quite another. Make sure you run through a few "mock interviews" with her before she goes. Also, and I don't know if this is me-specific, but I spent a while trying to convince my wife that she needed to stay within the lines and keep answers neat and concise, organized, etc. She seemed to think as long is it was on the paper somewhere they'd understand. While I'm sure Russia is 100% different when it comes to jobs and employment, I thought it would be universal that filling out an official document of any type would be done in a neat and organized way. I guess I was wrong.

One thing you may want to keep in mind too is your girl/wife may not think about working/saving/money the same way as you do. It may take quite a while for her to grasp the concept of needing money to come in at a constant rate in order to secure things for the future. It's very hard to pay bills on the 1st and 15th if you don't have money coming in on the 25th and 10th. For her, as long as she has money on the 1st and 15th, she's good. There's really no such thing as working to pay off credit in Russia (or, it's just starting) and so for so long it's been ingrained in them that they only need cash by a certain point and they're golden. Working enormous amounts of hours in order to pay for vacation six months from now is a completely foreign concept. Good luck with conveying that to them.

Looking back on it, I would've left it up to her a little more and not tried so hard to convince her of how it was... just let her figure it out on her own. For those of you who're in a better position to give her an "allowance" and force her to budget for her own stuff - do it. The quicker she can balance her own budget and figure out how buying things on credit works (and the subsequent necessity to work in advance to pay for these things later) the better off you'll be.

I win.

3 weeks.

Ok, she worked here for 2 consecutive summers previously. Does that count as time served?

Is that a Red Ryder carbine-action, 200 shot, range model air rifle?

Here's one of my wife shooting - [link][text]Terminator[/text] http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewImage&friendID=34741706&albumID=2510716&imageID=61606262#a=2510716&i=61606277 [/link]

Good to know. I do see a gradual progression though.

It's like a force-field that wears down. One day the final hard candy shell will fall off and poof! she'll be "normal." The one thing I'm wondering, and you maybe could shed some light on this - do they go back to day one when they step foot on the home soil? A "when in Rome" sort of thing?

[baron555 934]

Left hand should be farther forward on the stock. Slim's wife is dead on.

[slim 1,514]

That's Appleseed training in action!

I've watched her bang steel at 300 yards with an AK from standing. She shot pretty well last time we went out. I'm hoping to get her to another Appleseed or two this summer. It's especially fun if you can get several of the girls to head out together. They really do have a good time. And if Russian women weren't scary enough... knowing they possess the skill to hit targets at 300+ yards is "comforting."

[Brad and Vika 129]

Looking back on it, I would've left it up to her a little more and not tried so hard to convince her of how it was... just let her figure it out on her own. For those of you who're in a better position to give her an "allowance" and force her to budget for her own stuff - do it. The quicker she can balance her own budget and figure out how buying things on credit works (and the subsequent necessity to work in advance to pay for these things later) the better off you'll be.

It's like a force-field that wears down. One day the final hard candy shell will fall off and poof! she'll be "normal." The one thing I'm wondering, and you maybe could shed some light on this - do they go back to day one when they step foot on the home soil? A "when in Rome" sort of thing?

The problem with the allowance idea is that it quickly becomes a moving target. As to the force-field, well, sort of. She does retro back a little after a trip (at least her first one). And I get no end to grief when her girlfriends return to the mother ship and she can't. She does think that every day she has nothing important to do here could be better spent in Ukraine. Unfortunately there is no Lear jet in our future, so the annual visit will have to do.

[shikarnov 7]

The one thing I'm wondering, and you maybe could shed some light on this - do they go back to day one when they step foot on the home soil? A "when in Rome" sort of thing?

I don't know the answer to this, as my wife is on her first trip to Russia in two years (only 40 days until she comes back). So far, she reports that she's bored. Stiff. The first couple weeks, she was treated like a returning soldier, with everybody wanting to see her, and talk to her, and lavish food and gifts, and hear all about her tales. Now, life is more normal, and aside from her mother sticking to her like glue, there's very little for her. She longs to get back to the states and continue her photography studies.

I'll let you know if I observe any changes, but they probably won't be financial in nature. Aside from occasionally ordering Chinese food, she spends almost no money without asking for "permission."

[mox 298]

I'm not trying to be combative, but you people make it sound like they're cocker spaniels or something. "Do they pee on the rug often?" "Do they do well around children?" Come on guys, put down the flint and mammoth skin. Your woman is going to behave differently from my woman who is going to behave differently from Brad's woman who is going to behave differently from Slim's woman. Yeah, they share cultural similarities for sure, but it's silly to try to plot out when they're going to start wearing sweats to the grocery store or if they will regress at the first whiff of homeland air. (I can pretty much guarantee my wife won't ever even own a pair of sweats, let alone leave the house in anything more informal than jeans. Another woman might start wearing sweats after one week. Who effing cares? She's not doing it to be the object of your scientific curiosity.)

I've talked to a few of the guys here, and we've compared notes and sure enough we see a lot of similarities in our wives that makes for interesting conversation. But if we were British and had married American women, we'd also see a lot of similarities in our wives. Guys. They're not software. And they're not children. Stop thinking and treating them like children. Your opinion isn't the only one that matters in the relationship. If she wants you to make whatever decision needs to be made, then fine. But you force your will on her at your own peril.

[shikarnov 7]

I'm not trying to be combative, but you people make it sound like they're cocker spaniels or something. "Do they pee on the rug often?" "Do they do well around children?" Come on guys, put down the flint and mammoth skin. Your woman is going to behave differently from my woman who is going to behave differently from Brad's woman who is going to behave differently from Slim's woman. Yeah, they share cultural similarities for sure, but it's silly to try to plot out when they're going to start wearing sweats to the grocery store or if they will regress at the first whiff of homeland air. (I can pretty much guarantee my wife won't ever even own a pair of sweats, let alone leave the house in anything more informal than jeans. Another woman might start wearing sweats after one week. Who effing cares? She's not doing it to be the object of your scientific curiosity.)

I've talked to a few of the guys here, and we've compared notes and sure enough we see a lot of similarities in our wives that makes for interesting conversation. But if we were British and had married American women, we'd also see a lot of similarities in our wives. Guys. They're not software. And they're not children. Stop thinking and treating them like children. Your opinion isn't the only one that matters in the relationship. If she wants you to make whatever decision needs to be made, then fine. But you force your will on her at your own peril.

You're right. Let's not discuss the women, or their cultural similarities.

The USCIS sucks! Can I get a "Hear, hear!" ?

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Actually, your point is well taken -- and hilariously written, I might add. And while I do derive some enjoyment about comparing similarities, my wife is absolutely an individual. And force is definitely not in my vocabulary, regardless of how submissive (annoyingly so) my wife can be about some things.

[slim 1,514]

I get no end to grief when her girlfriends return to the mother ship and she can't. She does think that every day she has nothing important to do here could be better spent in Ukraine.

My wife has an open invitation to return any time she pleases. "You can go back whenever you want.... I just hope you have enough money to pay for it. Oh, and don't forget to pay your bills here too while you're gone."

She hasn't been back yet.

So far, she reports that she's bored. Stiff. The first couple weeks, she was treated like a returning soldier, with everybody wanting to see her, and talk to her, and lavish food and gifts, and hear all about her tales. Now, life is more normal, and aside from her mother sticking to her like glue, there's very little for her. She longs to get back to the states

Grass is always greener, eh?

I'm not trying to be combative,

I wish VJ had a smiley holding a sign that said, "BULLSH!T"

I can pretty much guarantee my wife won't ever even own a pair of sweats, let alone leave the house in anything more informal than jeans.

She will in about 16 more months.

Your opinion isn't the only one that matters in the relationship.

Maybe not, but it's the only one that matters on VJ.

If she wants you to make whatever decision needs to be made, then fine. But you force your will on her at your own peril.

It may be at my peril but it's for her own benefit. America works a certain way and if she wants to deny that and try it "her way" (or how she did it back in Russia) she's more than welcome - BUT IT WILL NOT WORK. You can't argue with math, there are laws.

I'm glad you're pulling a Susan B. Anthony yet again, mox, but instead of sounding chivalrous, it's sounding more and more like the guy who whispers to someone's girlfriend, "he's such a player. You should watch out."