Yardies a home and a farrin, Part 25!

[kjenkins86 5]

I'm here...got in late because I took Hubby to do his driving test. HE PASSED!!!!

Congratulations!

Good day all!!! Congrats Dillon on hubby passing road test.

I feel beat right now. I was @ bank writing statements about fraudulent activity on acct, had to file a police report b/c of amount of purchases(over$700), & then headed to work late. I'm tired & irritated that I fell prey to some dutty no good fellon. Bank is doing there investigation & assured me they'll return all my funds. As far as PayPal, I kindly called them back & requested they close my account w/ them PRONTO!!! So I hope nothing else happens. I also signed up for some " checking perks package." It basically alerts you of purchases made w/my cards, change in credit report & or inquiries, & you get rewards like coupons & discounts.

Anyhow, take care!!!! & I will try to do the same

Feel bad for what? You gotta take care a business ma...

Help!

Interview is May 5th - how does this medical thing work again? Do we have enuff time to get it done prior to the interview?

Congratulations, book the medical from now because they go really fast anbd they no longer send it to the embassy, you have to go back and pick it up to take to the interview. Also if you don't do the medical in time for the interview, don't sweat it because they'll interview him and tell him to surrender his passport when he has the medical ready, seriously don't sweat because Jmaica is NOT as bad as some consulates.

[kjenkins86 5]

Afternoon Yardies!

I have a bunch to reply to but I'm feeling some urgency that I just need to put some business out here first. I may need to be talked down off the ledge so to speak today. I'm gonna preface by stating that I'm not distraught, not very upset, nothing....just sort of matter-of-fact about what I'm feeling right now. I'm not going to jump to any conclusions or decisions but I'm definitely mulling things over. So here it is:

My hubby is a chronic liar. Since we have lived together full-time since he arrived here, all of the lying has become more apparent. He lies about the smallest of things at times & although I don't necessary think (or want to accuse him) he's cheating, he's behaved in ways that are suspect & it's really coming to light now that he's on my cell phone plan & I can monitor things. I really don't want to go into detail cause it would be too long but basically, I've caught him in lies all along but have a specific incident on Saturday that I was able to directly call him on a lie because I could see the phone log. He received a call while we were out Saturday & I could hear it was a pretty basic (albeit short) conversation with a female. He said he'd give a call later & the response was like this (with a high-pitched very feminine voice), "Oookaaaaaaaay byyyyyyyyyyeeeeee!" After I asked who it was he tried to pass it off like it was a 'new person' at his school who is a tranny (we have many around here so it is conceivable). Well, checking the phone log this morning I saw that it was the same friend who is in his 'soccer gang' who is supposedly a girlfriend of one of his guy friends. I've called him on this before but I don't have a problem with him having female friends as long as they respect our marriage so I just let it go at that time. He tries to tell me that his friend (whose girlfriend he talks to) doesn't have his own phone (YEAH RIGHT!) so he always uses his girlfriend's phone (is this making any sense??). Well, WHATEVER. I haven't met these friends yet but I'm going to for sure now....who cares if they're young & will ridicule him about his fat, old wife. I'm also going to start answering the house phone now. I used to leave that to him cause it was always for him but now I'm going to make my presence KNOWN!

But the real problem is, he just plain lies...about his phone calls, about his friends, about random ish around the house, etc. etc. etc. I'm nearly ready to file for divorce. We've had this discussion on several occasions that he has a lying problem & I told him if he doesn't change that, I will never be able to trust him. If I can't trust him about the little things, how will I trust him when the big issues arise?? Again, I'm not distressed or depressed, I'm not all that angry, I'm just feeling exhausted with this all. Also, lately he's been slacking (again) with helping me out around the house, etc. & frankly, I'm tired of doing everything I always did for myself & now for one more person on top of it. I'll defer to the Madea quote now, "I can do bad ALL BY MYSELF!" Anyway, we may seek counseling although he doesn't want to go or we may try other things but I've been scouring this web site about lying in relationships http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/ & I'm not really sure compulsive/chronic liars can be 'cured'. I know I can't live with that....to me that is a seriously fatal flaw. I'm by no means perfect but if there's one thing I am, it's HONEST. I've been honest to him about everything & he is not returning the favor. Well, WHEW....just writing this out felt much better! I'm ready for any responses....don't temper your responses, if I wanted to be coddled or told the easy stuff, I wouldn't have put this out there.

First of all I applaud you putting it out there, take alot of guts.

Um, I don't think liars can be cured. My honey lies and he lies about the simpliest of things but I knew he was a liar and I just have to hope and pray that one day he'll change on his own.

As for your situation, everyone is different but if I were you I'd try to find out what's going on for a fact before I jump to conclusions. I do hope, for your sake that nothing is going on and if there is something going on then it's your choice what to do. I really do wish you the best of luck sweetie

[DaDa 1]

Your very welcomed and I typed it all over again, lol .. I just needed that to take my mind off shyt.. so it was my pleasure.. good luck and please keep me posted ((((((hugs))))))))

You typed it over ?? Wow that was fast...

Well I prayed over it and then started to submit it so we shall see what happens.

Help!

Interview is May 5th - how does this medical thing work again? Do we have enuff time to get it done prior to the interview?

See lookie der first you were complaining and now yuh scared... LOL

[Always Blessed 1]

Good Morning Everyone ,

Hope you have a Blessed Day!

I am going to try an catch up but for some reason everytime I try I get sidetrack by something else I maybe fooling myself to think I will actually go back and see what been going on.

[Always Blessed 1]

Afternoon Yardies!

I have a bunch to reply to but I'm feeling some urgency that I just need to put some business out here first. I may need to be talked down off the ledge so to speak today. I'm gonna preface by stating that I'm not distraught, not very upset, nothing....just sort of matter-of-fact about what I'm feeling right now. I'm not going to jump to any conclusions or decisions but I'm definitely mulling things over. So here it is:

My hubby is a chronic liar. Since we have lived together full-time since he arrived here, all of the lying has become more apparent. He lies about the smallest of things at times & although I don't necessary think (or want to accuse him) he's cheating, he's behaved in ways that are suspect & it's really coming to light now that he's on my cell phone plan & I can monitor things. I really don't want to go into detail cause it would be too long but basically, I've caught him in lies all along but have a specific incident on Saturday that I was able to directly call him on a lie because I could see the phone log. He received a call while we were out Saturday & I could hear it was a pretty basic (albeit short) conversation with a female. He said he'd give a call later & the response was like this (with a high-pitched very feminine voice), "Oookaaaaaaaay byyyyyyyyyyeeeeee!" After I asked who it was he tried to pass it off like it was a 'new person' at his school who is a tranny (we have many around here so it is conceivable). Well, checking the phone log this morning I saw that it was the same friend who is in his 'soccer gang' who is supposedly a girlfriend of one of his guy friends. I've called him on this before but I don't have a problem with him having female friends as long as they respect our marriage so I just let it go at that time. He tries to tell me that his friend (whose girlfriend he talks to) doesn't have his own phone (YEAH RIGHT!) so he always uses his girlfriend's phone (is this making any sense??). Well, WHATEVER. I haven't met these friends yet but I'm going to for sure now....who cares if they're young & will ridicule him about his fat, old wife. I'm also going to start answering the house phone now. I used to leave that to him cause it was always for him but now I'm going to make my presence KNOWN!

But the real problem is, he just plain lies...about his phone calls, about his friends, about random ish around the house, etc. etc. etc. I'm nearly ready to file for divorce. We've had this discussion on several occasions that he has a lying problem & I told him if he doesn't change that, I will never be able to trust him. If I can't trust him about the little things, how will I trust him when the big issues arise?? Again, I'm not distressed or depressed, I'm not all that angry, I'm just feeling exhausted with this all. Also, lately he's been slacking (again) with helping me out around the house, etc. & frankly, I'm tired of doing everything I always did for myself & now for one more person on top of it. I'll defer to the Madea quote now, "I can do bad ALL BY MYSELF!" Anyway, we may seek counseling although he doesn't want to go or we may try other things but I've been scouring this web site about lying in relationships http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/ & I'm not really sure compulsive/chronic liars can be 'cured'. I know I can't live with that....to me that is a seriously fatal flaw. I'm by no means perfect but if there's one thing I am, it's HONEST. I've been honest to him about everything & he is not returning the favor. Well, WHEW....just writing this out felt much better! I'm ready for any responses....don't temper your responses, if I wanted to be coddled or told the easy stuff, I wouldn't have put this out there.

Hey Ells,

My heart goes out to you! As soon as I read your post it felt like my heart leaped from my chest into my stomach. I have to applauded you for being so opened about your marriage.

So the reason for me writing other then the above is because I have felt what you are feeling right now and I believe more then a few of us are going through the same thing and just do not have it in us to post it. I do not know if you are a spiritual person or not but I can tell you to pray, I rest to sure you that it has helped extremely in my relationship with my husband. He is a great guy yet he has some flaws and extra baggage having a baby mother here in the states actually a hour away from where we live it is a difficult situation because the baby mother makes it so.

Anyway there is book I started reading and it is helping out alot and believe it or not I am seeing changes almost immediately. The book is called the power of a praying wife By Stormie Omartian. If you can and want to it is a very good investmnent and it really soothes the soul, soften your heart towards the man you loved and became one with even when he does anger you.

I just want you to know if you ever need to talk I am here, I know I do not say much usually on the board but I do have good listening ears. If you do not mind I would love to pray for your marriage, as I believe you truely love your husband.

Lord I pray for your blood and protection to heal the wounds in this marriage where there is lies I pray they will be repented of and replaced with truth. Father I ask that you open Lehi's heart and allow the love to overflow into his wife life, Father you gave your blessing upon them to marry and it is stated in the Bible that you have given us the power of authority over all the power of the enemy (Luke 10:19) and when we pray Lord we can do great damage to the enemies plan to destroy his work. Father we know this is not your plan for our/their life and we take authoriity over this marriage NOW! This marriage will not be destroyed We/ I will not allow confusion, miscommunication , wrong attitudes, and bad choices to erode what we/they are trying to build together hurt and unforgivness will not lead this marriage to divorce.

We build a hedge of protection around this marriage Lord and we bind the enemies hand , it is stated what we bind here on earth is bound in Heaven and what ever we loose on earth is loosed in heaven (Matthew 18:18) So therfore father we call peace and harmonoy, love and kindess, respect and honor to this marriage and we pray that your hand has healed this marriage and ended the wrong doing now.

In the name of you Son Jesus Christ our Lord and savor we pray AMEN and AMEN.

Take care Julianne

Edited April 13, 2010 by Always Blessed

[LadyC 1]

Good Morning Yardies...I hope everyone is having a good week. Well my hubby started working with my friend/coworker Landscaping company today and he had to take the Metro Bus and Train all by himself. He got ther so it was ok. We are also packing to move on Friday so its been hectic. Me with my 2 jobs one at Jackson Hewitt so the end of tax season rush and hours are killing me. Now hubby started working (thank you lord) and my step son will be here on the 30th. Whew I feel so damn tired

[MoLuvsAcory 0]

Good Morning!!!! With all that has been going on, I forgot to mention that Acory received his biometrics letter Friday past(4/9/10). His appt is 4/23/10, next Friday. I before hand was thinking i'd have to push apt closer when we get one. But the 23rd actually isn't that far so we can wait until then.

[Always Blessed 1]

Good Morning Yardies...I hope everyone is having a good week. Well my hubby started working with my friend/coworker Landscaping company today and he had to take the Metro Bus and Train all by himself. He got ther so it was ok. We are also packing to move on Friday so its been hectic. Me with my 2 jobs one at Jackson Hewitt so the end of tax season rush and hours are killing me. Now hubby started working (thank you lord) and my step son will be here on the 30th. Whew I feel so damn tired

Congrats on your hubby working that is excellent. Hope all goes well with the move Friday. Do not overdue it .

[LadyC 1]

Ells Im sorry to hear about your hubby's behavior but truth be told we all in some way or another are finding out that some of the things our hubbys do are just plain stupid. My advise to you is to keep your eyes open and follow up on his suspicious actions. Trust is a big part of any relationship and without it there is no relationship. My huuby has some really childish behavior that drives me crazy. He does not like to listen to people and when he is wrong he acts like 12 year old and when you tell him he is acting childish he shuts down for days. When he acts that way I tell his behind off and keep it moving. When he see I am paying him no attention he switch back. But as I said the adjusment period is very hard and we all see things in each other that we do not like or understand. Keep the faith Ells

Good Morning!!!! With all that has been going on, I forgot to mention that Acory received his biometrics letter Friday past(4/9/10). His appt is 4/23/10, next Friday. I before hand was thinking i'd have to push apt closer when we get one. But the 23rd actually isn't that far so we can wait until then.

Yeaaa... Congrats and good luck on the AOS process

[Always Blessed 1]

Good Morning!!!! With all that has been going on, I forgot to mention that Acory received his biometrics letter Friday past(4/9/10). His appt is 4/23/10, next Friday. I before hand was thinking i'd have to push apt closer when we get one. But the 23rd actually isn't that far so we can wait until then.

Thats great

[MoLuvsAcory 0]

KJenkins, in regards to your question about how the fraud happened. Well it appears as if someone was able to hack into my PayPal acct & retrieve all my info. As of now, I no longer have a PayPal acct. I haven't even used PayPal since year. So who knows!

[DaDa 1]

Afternoon Yardies!

I have a bunch to reply to but I'm feeling some urgency that I just need to put some business out here first. I may need to be talked down off the ledge so to speak today. I'm gonna preface by stating that I'm not distraught, not very upset, nothing....just sort of matter-of-fact about what I'm feeling right now. I'm not going to jump to any conclusions or decisions but I'm definitely mulling things over. So here it is:

Girl Girl Girl I almost dropped out my seat reading this. Whoo if dis don’t bring back memories. My husband well X lied about everything and I mean everything it was stupid shyt he lied about to the point where you looked at him like dawg serious stop it. I think he had a condition to be honest because there was no need fi it all. Imma keep it real with you Ells I’m not sure if he will stop. Mines didn’t. Hopefully with prayer and some real attitude he can change but it just bites me in de butt why a grown rass man has to lie. I used to tell mi hubby all de tem. I can’t beat you so why do you have to lie to me what you think you gwaan get jumped on or something.

The phone calls jeez dats another thing. I swear these cell phones can be your best and worst friends. God gave us the best and worst gift woman intuition. When it surfaces its normally not wrong. You get that feeling in the pit of your stomach that something isn’t right and its up to you rather to ignore it or act on it. I tell you when it kicks in full drive its no joke. I used to play detective. Some of the things I did I am not proud of and I would have you all ladies on the ground rolling but I think I’m almost the best there ever was. I always found out the truth rather I wanted to or not and I vow that I will never live that way again. What used to hurt my feelings was my hubby had so called friends that he called over twenty times a day. It used to burn me up like what is der to talk about you don’t even call me that much. I told him you’re probably a pain in her rass.

Anywho I feel you on how do you expect me to trust you if you never tell me the truth. I also don’t blame you for making your presence known. I really hope this all works its way out. I don’t think you need to consider divorce just yet. See if you can get him to go to the counseling and put Lasheka away and talk to him for minute. Let him know you’re at the edge and about to let this marriage go. If he is not willing to work on it then neither are you. Its too early in the marriage for all this nonsense already. You r are supposed to be his best friend and he shouldn’t have to lie to you about anything. Rather it will hurt you or not just tell you the truth. Let him know Ells. Give him a serious look at let him know you will not be having this conversation again. This is it. Tell him your going to give it your all and try to get things back on track but if he isn’t in agreement let you know now or forever hold your peace.

[DaDa 1]

True dat! And I'd have to add to be extremely scrutinizing before they get here so you aren't sorry once they are. Don't be in such a hurry to get them here that you ignore signs. One thing I can say for myself though is that it's very difficult to distinguish between what are real signs & what is you just being paranoid from past experiences.

Ells dat is so true. Why when we move on from that old relationship cant we leave the hurt and pain with it.

[NatPatBen 3]

Morning, everyone!

I need to catch up from Saturday, but I did want to drop some good news: Steven got an A on his Business class test! So far, he has a B in the class, but I hope he gets A's on the next 2 tests to get an A overall.

[kjenkins86 5]

Always Blessed: Amen sista, great prayer and avdvice to Ells.

Lady C: congrats to G on his 1st job!!

Didn't you move a few months ago, maybe I'm mistaken. Where you moving to?

Wow C you're doing alot, make that money girl and I hope you catch a break soon.

MoAcory: great that he got his appt, goodluck on the rest of the process!

Wow that's crazy, I gotta start looking at my statements because I usually shread them since I pay my bills online.