Visa Journeyer's help

[AaronM 0]

My wife had a miscarriage last October 2009 , she is Type 1 diabetic that takes insulin everyday . We told her doctor , we were trying to start a family . And he told us that when she is pregnant , we need to come back to the doctor . Which my wife was ok with that . But she changed her mind after seeing all the medical bills , for her treatment of her diabetis . To stop all the fighting we were having due to all the medical bills i gave into her , by not having her go to the doctor . Now she blames me , and herself , we have our own private insurance . And as many times i have tried to explain to her how the medical insurance works here . She still does'nt understand , and thinks we can't afford anything . Now she does'nt even want a family of her own , i can't change the health care system here . And no matter what , even if we have a baby , we would still be paying something insurance does'nt pay for it all .

[raymaga 25]

I totally can understand how your wife feels. When I came to the U.S. from Canada, I was so afraid of the medical bills that we might incur after every doctor's appointment or procedure at the hospital, etc.

And hardly a day goes by that I don't worry about either my husband or myself having something serious happen like a heart attack or stroke.... we are only 7 years from retirement.... and I want to move back to Canada to make sure we'll have cheap medical insurance.

[Deputy Purple 1,294]

Yeah, the system is totally different over there. I still don't really understand the whole "Phil-Health" thing, you pay a premium and the hospital may give you a discount on the bill? All Doctors are pay as you go, there is no real Medical Insurance in the PH...

I tried to make it as simple as possible for my wife. I just explained that our Doctor's Visits are $30 but if we need to go to a specialist then we need to ask our Doctor where to go and it will only cost $30 per visit also. I've never felt the need to try to explain HMO vs PPO or anything else. I'm also set-up with paperless billing to the Explanation of Benefits documents ARE NOT MAILED TO THE HOUSE. This avoids the confusion of getting a bill that says $1,000 for something we paid $30!

[RVIANE♛ 5]

im pregnant and i enjoy going to the doctor i did all the lab test that they require here and until now we haven't pay anything yet i got some medicine that my OBGYNE gave me and i only pay $3 its really diffrent here unlike in the Philippines once you go to the doctor you were wondering how much is your bill after, but here once you entered at the the doctors office sign a paper with your initial check out after then see you next check up appointment

[AaronM 0]

im pregnant and i enjoy going to the doctor i did all the lab test that they require here and until now we haven't pay anything yet i got some medicine that my OBGYNE gave me and i only pay $3 its really diffrent here unlike in the Philippines once you go to the doctor you were wondering how much is your bill after, but here once you entered at the the doctors office sign a paper with your initial check out after then see you next check up appointment

My wife is from the philippines , and the medical bills are from the USA . April 03, 2009 is when she arrived in USA , and we were married April 21, 2009 . and the first doctors appointment was in late june . After she received her Social Security Card , because it's required for insurance . All the medical bills was before her pregnancy . Diabetis during pregnancy , can cause birth defects ( Spinal Bifida , ect. , and even death ). Not just to the unborn baby , but also to the mother during pregnancy or at the time giving birth .

[Zen Den 18]

My wife had a miscarriage last October 2009 , she is Type 1 diabetic that takes insulin everyday . We told her doctor , we were trying to start a family . And he told us that when she is pregnant , we need to come back to the doctor . Which my wife was ok with that . But she changed her mind after seeing all the medical bills , for her treatment of her diabetis . To stop all the fighting we were having due to all the medical bills i gave into her , by not having her go to the doctor . Now she blames me , and herself , we have our own private insurance . And as many times i have tried to explain to her how the medical insurance works here . She still does'nt understand , and thinks we can't afford anything . Now she does'nt even want a family of her own , i can't change the health care system here . And no matter what , even if we have a baby , we would still be paying something insurance does'nt pay for it all .

i find the health insurance and the general healthcare system here a lot more complicated than the philippines. although our medical facilities is mostly third world, and most people don't have health insurance but for as long as you have cash hospitals will admit you. the big difference too is that alternative medicine is still the main source for common ailments, and one would not seek a doctor unless the problem is something they can't self-medicate for.

what i'm trying to say is your wife will eventually understand and accept it, like i did. the system really is so different from what she's been used to that's why to her it's a big deal and she doesn't want you to be financially burdened that's why she didn't go back for her appointments.

in any case, you have to support her for now by not arguing with her because she's definitely still grieving. let time pass and focus on other happier/more pleasant things.

if she's still in her 20s and even early 30s, you have plenty of time to have a family. right now help her get back her normal mindset so she can forgive herself and move on.

hope she gets better. god bless

PS did she take insulin when she was still in the philippines?

[AaronM 0]

i find the health insurance and the general healthcare system here a lot more complicated than the philippines. although our medical facilities is mostly third world, and most people don't have health insurance but for as long as you have cash hospitals will admit you. the big difference too is that alternative medicine is still the main source for common ailments, and one would not seek a doctor unless the problem is something they can't self-medicate for.

what i'm trying to say is your wife will eventually understand and accept it, like i did. the system really is so different from what she's been used to that's why to her it's a big deal and she doesn't want you to be financially burdened that's why she didn't go back for her appointments.

in any case, you have to support her for now by not arguing with her because she's definitely still grieving. let time pass and focus on other happier/more pleasant things.

if she's still in her 20s and even early 30s, you have plenty of time to have a family. right now help her get back her normal mindset so she can forgive herself and move on.

hope she gets better. god bless

PS did she take insulin when she was still in the philippines?

She did when she was dianosed August 2006 , but could'nt aford the medicine and it was before i meet her . Yeah she is still grieving . And no one thinks of the man , Oh i forgot men don't feel any emotion . Thank you Zen Den , for your reply

[Calypso 464]

I am sorry to hear that, Aaron.

I had a professor back in college who had two miscarriages. She tried again and now has a healthy and intelligent one-year-old baby.

Your have to support your wife now more than ever. She sounds depressed.

When our emotions are too strong, we sometimes say things that we'll want to take back later. Just keep being there for her.

What are you asking about again?

Edited March 9, 2010 by Calypso

[Scott and Mhay 57]

im pregnant and i enjoy going to the doctor i did all the lab test that they require here and until now we haven't pay anything yet i got some medicine that my OBGYNE gave me and i only pay $3 its really diffrent here unlike in the Philippines once you go to the doctor you were wondering how much is your bill after, but here once you entered at the the doctors office sign a paper with your initial check out after then see you next check up appointment

That's the great thing about the military...my daughter from my first marriage was born premature....IF we would have had to pay for everything it would have been over $50,000 (i was quite scared when I saw the bills coming in). Granted military doctors arent the best, but you can always ask for a referral. My daughter was born in a civilian hospital since they had better facilities to take care of premature babies.

Edited March 9, 2010 by Scott and Mhay

[calico1 1]

Condolences on your loss. Understandably the man would feel great hurt in the case of his wifes miscarriage, and at a time of grief and sadness is easy to let the hurt out on one another. As trite as it may sound everything happens for a reason, and perhaps it just wasn't the right time at this time for her pregnancy...but it doesn't mean you won't be successful in the future. Love her and comfort her.

While american medicine and it's doctors may be some of the best on the planet, the health care system is seemingly out of control with so many insurance plans and premiums it is enough to make anyone crazy...not to mention the price of medications. We all want the best care for our loved ones without going bankrupt..it truly is a strain we all share.

God bless you both, my asawa is also diabetic..I know and share your pain, hang in there

[loveaboo 0]

The health care system here sucks and it's ridiculously expensive. I can't believe normal delivery here without insurance could cost $15000. I was telling my husband, in that amount I can already give birth normally 25 times in the Philippines and stay in a nice private hospital room. Also, in the Philippines, if you have a job and your company provides good medical insurance, you can get out of the hospital without paying a single cent. Here that seems to be impossible.

I am also pregnant. My 1st doctor's visit cost us $40 that's because we have a medical insurance. Otherwise we would have ended up paying more. On my 2nd visit, they didn't ask for any payment but their so called "patient's advocate" talked to us about how much we should expect to pay and when and how are we planning to pay. I freaked out when she told us that we'll have to prepare $500+ as doctor's fee and $3000+ hospital's fee. The fees will be higher if there will be a complication (which I hope we won't have to worry about). As early as now we're already starting to save.

I was telling my husband that it would be a lot cheaper if I'll give birth in the Philippines, not to mention that I can enjoy a private room with all amenities already and there will be more people who will take care of me. Oh, it can also be a long vacation for me. However, my husband asked me to give birth here since if I go to Philippines, he can't be with me the whole time because he can't take a long vacation leave from work. I respect his wish because I know he really wants to be with me throughout my pregnancy.

It's difficult to be pregnant, especially if there's a problem like diabetis, much more if she has to worry about finances. I think for now, your best option is to save. Maybe it would make her feel a lot better if she knows you have enough or more than enough money to take care of the medical bills if she'll get pregnant. And as time goes by, your savings will start to build up and she might feel your need to start a family already and realize the effort you're doing to get ready for that family, she might decide to get pregnant again. Goodluck!!!

[marklovetina 52]

That's the great thing about the military...my daughter from my first marriage was born premature....IF we would have had to pay for everything it would have been over $50,000 (i was quite scared when I saw the bills coming in). Granted military doctors arent the best, but you can always ask for a referral. My daughter was born in a civilian hospital since they had better facilities to take care of premature babies.

yeah coz work in the us army but for those people who are private its expensive paying med. insurances

to the OP sorry to hear that ur wifey had a miscarriage...

[Lingladyinred19 13]

All I can say is.. very expensive here in the STATES..

I am covered my hubby insurance but still expensive.. wish I give birth @ PHIL..

[loveaboo 0]

Yeah, the system is totally different over there. I still don't really understand the whole "Phil-Health" thing, you pay a premium and the hospital may give you a discount on the bill? All Doctors are pay as you go, there is no real Medical Insurance in the PH...

There's real medical insurance in the Philippines but they are usually provided by the company you're working for or if you're a dependent of someone working in a certain company. Honestly, medical insurance there is so much better than here in US. I was telling my husband that if I'm working in the Philippines, we won't have to worry about my delivery at all. More often than not, with the medical insurance, combined with Phil-health and I think SSS benefit also (if I'm not mistaken), you will be able to leave the hospital without paying a single cent.

Edited March 10, 2010 by loveaboo

[marklovetina 52]

Yeah, the system is totally different over there. I still don't really understand the whole "Phil-Health" thing, you pay a premium and the hospital may give you a discount on the bill? All Doctors are pay as you go, there is no real Medical Insurance in the PH...

uhmm well we have health insurance here too in the PI, Philhealth for example, if ur working on a company then the company will pay this med. insurance for u, a person can avail it too if she/he is a dependent of a person who have this or u personally paying for it.. minimum is P300... uhmm well when using this health insurance not all instances u will not pay anything, sometimes the insurance cant covered all the bills in the hospital so what happening is you will just be discounted, especially if its a serious operation.... i remember when i gave birth to my son my health insurance didnt covered all the bills just that i was discounted, and good on my part my OB discounted me 50% too