Yardies a home and a farrin (Part 23)

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

That's what I'm talking about. Some of these women feel the same way...they feel sorry for their men cuz they aren't making alot of money...but the women are struggling like crazy to make the ends met. While the husbands are out there partying, drinking, shopping and blowing money...home is first Homey.

When they cry to me that their husbands aren't helping their households...the first question I'll ask is "what did you do for him while he was in JA" and "what have you done for him while he was wasn't working" the answers is always "everything". Not saying you should never do for your man but I believe in limitations. Now he's working and don't feel like he should contribute cuz you got it. And don't get me started on the calls from JA.....

can't do everything...I'm so glad my husband understood the struggle before he ever got here. calls from Jamaica -- I'm so glad we didn't have to go through that (mi factey) -- But I remember my own family going through that in the 80s and that puts so much stress on a marriage, but my parents to through it. Damn back then, everyone called from jamaica COLLECT calls from a phone booth, the lines use to be so long...man how I remember those days.

[Shemmy 4]

Big ups...I'm over here doing the "Running Man" and the "Cabbage Patch"!

Ya'll crazy. It's been hard but communication is definitely the key

[dancehallquana 5]

You told your husband you understood if he decided to go? Q you were not going to choose a damn house over your hubby were you? I am so glad RG went I would have been hot at you I mean so hot I would have took the next flight down there to get you had RG done that.. . You asked a lot of him Q and it should have been a decision made together if he didn’t wanna move oh well.

Your ex isn’t showing his true colors now but just wait.. If your ex wasn’t such a A hole I would understand but he is too unpredictable. You did get the locks changed right?

yep we do and yes i do understand the ex could turn in a minute, i understand your opinion mami, but a FAMILY decision should be just that.. based on the best interest of the family..not on the fact that my husband don't wanna be in the same house i slept w/ another man in.. roger wasn't looking at whats best for me and my kids only at how uncomfortable he would be.. i believe if he had left, he would have come back eventually.. i hope..

i am looking at the big picture.. we've already had his friends/family come visit and he expects he sis and his sons to come this summer.. now we have somewhere for them to stay.. we can focus our money on getting his kids here now as well as his visits he has to make to JA to check on the kids..

not to mention i am happy and after all ive done, i deserve to be happy.. i pray i made the right decision, we'll see..

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

Ya'll crazy. It's been hard but communication is definitely the key

AMEN! and it helps sooooooo much when your man can make you laugh especially after you've had a rough day at work.

[DaDa 1]

My husband is like that too. Didn't even really acknowledge his Valentine's Day gift. I bought him a bracelet and matching ring and a soccer ball.. He just mumbled.. Thank you, glory be to Jah Rastafarin..etc... etc.. No sexy party nothing!!!!

Did you ask him if he really liked it??

[MRStee 19]

That's what I'm talking about. Some of these women feel the same way...they feel sorry for their men cuz they aren't making alot of money...but the women are struggling like crazy to make the ends met. While the husbands are out there partying, drinking, shopping and blowing money...home is first Homey.

When they cry to me that their husbands aren't helping their households...the first question I'll ask is "what did you do for him while he was in JA" and "what have you done for him while he was wasn't working" the answers is always "everything". Not saying you should never do for your man but I believe in limitations. Now he's working and don't feel like he should contribute cuz you got it. And don't get me started on the calls from JA.....

I didn't have problems with the calling part. I bought him a 20.00 top up which lasted the entire month and we talked for about 20 to 30 minutes a nite, that was it...I kept a 20.00 phone card and only used it in an emergency like needing paperwork and stuff like that. The only thing I did was give his dad gas money to drive us everywhere and I would slip his grandma a couple dollars before I left. That was it. I only really spent money on food and RUM CREAM

[JQ Smiley BOOM 3]

OUCH.. this is one of those times i love metropcs..

Cricket

I love Cricket

[jamerican 2]

Just got through NVC (26 min) and they have all the info correct just haven't used it to email me yet (ugggh)...I know it's only been a couple of days but .... anyway

I look soooo forward to getting through this and being on the "OTHER SIDE". JQ your story is amazing at how quick everything came together as far as work/finances....I wanna be like you when I grow up!!! lol

Ok yall, checking out for a while...my last midterm today in Deep Tissue Massage. Seems easy enough but surprisingly it isn't as I have to outline 5 random (picked out of a hat) muscles of the body and tell all there is to know about them ON THE INSTRUCTOR.

Lata

[Shemmy 4]

I hid mine and it made it even more worst. We had a huge fight I think some of the VJ members remember and when everything came out he said he would have help me from the beginning. He said "babes whenever u need help just ask"!!

I remember. But trust me, giving up independence is a stuggle within itself. I work on and pray on it everyday.

I damn near passed out when I saw Damien's W-2 and we're almost making the same amount of money then I thanked GOD.

[dancehallquana 5]

I remember. But trust me, giving up independence is a stuggle within itself. I work on and pray on it everyday.

I damn near passed out when I saw Damien's W-2 and we're almost making the same amount of money then I thanked GOD.

that is a blessing!!! 5 yrs here we come!!!

I didn't have problems with the calling part. I bought him a 20.00 top up which lasted the entire month and we talked for about 20 to 30 minutes a nite, that was it...I kept a 20.00 phone card and only used it in an emergency like needing paperwork and stuff like that. The only thing I did was give his dad gas money to drive us everywhere and I would slip his grandma a couple dollars before I left. That was it. I only really spent money on food and RUM CREAM

roger dont get many calls period. he is a loner.. his 2 besties been here in the us way longer than him..

[Shemmy 4]

I didn't have problems with the calling part. I bought him a 20.00 top up which lasted the entire month and we talked for about 20 to 30 minutes a nite, that was it...I kept a 20.00 phone card and only used it in an emergency like needing paperwork and stuff like that. The only thing I did was give his dad gas money to drive us everywhere and I would slip his grandma a couple dollars before I left. That was it. I only really spent money on food and RUM CREAM

That's why I gave Damien the phone bills to pay cuz I knew he wouldn't run them up LOL. We never had a high phone bill since he's been here.

I mean family calling from JA asking for stuff. Not too many but they do come.

Okay...talk to you lata VJ...back to work.

[MRStee 19]

You told your husband you understood if he decided to go? Q you were not going to choose a damn house over your hubby were you? I am so glad RG went I would have been hot at you I mean so hot I would have took the next flight down there to get you had RG done that.. . You asked a lot of him Q and it should have been a decision made together if he didn't wanna move oh well.

Your ex isn't showing his true colors now but just wait.. If your ex wasn't such a A hole I would understand but he is too unpredictable. You did get the locks changed right?

Dada, Q explained before why she did it. A lot of it had to do with her girls wanting to live in the house they grew up in. She wouldve taken a great loss. What if she didn't do it and owed all this money, don't you think it would have damaged her marriage anyway? It's only a house (material) what is important I think is that their love/marriage survived a major decision. It's not like the house was in another state somewhere. I think Q made a good choice and was being realistic....

Sometimes, even though our hubbies are adjusting so are WE. Especially those of us who are single moms who was used to doing it all on our own, having dead beat daddies, or to the single ladies with no kids who had to adjust their lives to instead of just getting up and doing stuff, asking their husbands how they feel or what they think about it. The important thing is that Q was being realistic about her feelings which I think were very valid. She is my hero!

[MRStee 19]

Did you ask him if he really liked it??

Yes I did he even told the kids he liked it just not me....He is a tough character sometimes

[DedicatedWife 4]

Girl, once Michael gets here he will wish for work outside of the house cause I have so many things around the house to keep him busy.... The list is forming now....!!!

Yeah J, he been cleaning and pressing clothes like I sent them to the cleaners or something...lol Poe thang!

[MRStee 19]

Did you ask him if he really liked it??

Anyway, did it matter? It was a gift.. If he didn't like it, and he knows me, I still had the receipt.. wouldve taken right back and spent the money on myself.

I don't think he wants/expects anything from me. Just that we stay afloat. He doesn't do holidays at all so it was just another day to him.