Do you truly love your fiancé???

[slim 1,514]

seldom hear about american girls bringing over FSU man. I mean that sh!t has to happen, and I know it does, just not as often

And even when it does, it's based on the American person being the financial provider - not based on "love."

[Martyshk 137]

And even when it does, it's based on the American person being the financial provider - not based on "love."

Of course. I have a friend...well...it's along and effed up story. But one of her fiances is in Kiev, actually. And she basically refuses to even entertain the idea about him here, because she'd actually have to provide for him lol. Even if that was for a month or two.

That's FSU girl right there

[Brad and Vika 129]

Of course. I have a friend...well...it's along and effed up story. But one of her fiances is in Kiev, actually. And she basically refuses to even entertain the idea about him here, because she'd actually have to provide for him lol. Even if that was for a month or two.

That's FSU girl right there

Now there's a switch. Some comments (other than from Slim ) about the mercenary spirit of Eastern European women, rather than our own? Showing my geezerhood again here, but I don't hear much about ANY woman over thirty joining a guy in equal partnership - let alone paying his way. Seems to me that the stability represented by the ability to hold down a decent job is almost a Darwinian criteria for selection of a guy, the same way men (and be honest here guys) tend to prefer beauty over *ahem* the opposite. Truly poor men, and truly ugly gals, have the same problem dating, and there is nothing new about it.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Now there's a switch. Some comments (other than from Slim ) about the mercenary spirit of Eastern European women, rather than our own? Showing my geezerhood again here, but I don't hear much about ANY woman over thirty joining a guy in equal partnership - let alone paying his way. Seems to me that the stability represented by the ability to hold down a decent job is almost a Darwinian criteria for selection of a guy, the same way men (and be honest here guys) tend to prefer beauty over *ahem* the opposite. Truly poor men, and truly ugly gals, have the same problem dating, and there is nothing new about it.

And I always considered FSU women to more "Darwinian" that others and I do not say there is anything wrong with it. ( I could be biased) I think the reason many FSU women prefer older men is that they not only usually have more stable jobs, but have a track record of proving they can keep one. A guy in his 20s or even early 30s is simply too much a wild card to bet your life (and your children's) on. So I have been told.

And YES I believe in freedom of choice, particularly a choice in who I will sleep with for the rest of my life and I will choose a pretty woman over a, well, not pretty woman, every time. It is the last stand of personal discrimination and I demand my right to it.

[Brad and Vika 129]

And I always considered FSU women to more "Darwinian" that others and I do not say there is anything wrong with it. ( I could be biased) I think the reason many FSU women prefer older men is that they not only usually have more stable jobs, but have a track record of proving they can keep one. A guy in his 20s or even early 30s is simply too much a wild card to bet your life (and your children's) on. So I have been told.

And YES I believe in freedom of choice, particularly a choice in who I will sleep with for the rest of my life and I will choose a pretty woman over a, well, not pretty woman, every time. It is the last stand of personal discrimination and I demand my right to it.

We have discussed ad naseum on VJ that most people have no desire to leave the country or even region of their birth, and are very content to live their lives in the place where they grew up. Many of us on VJ seem to be a little different in that regard. Something wrong with it or not, it makes sense to me that to move to a different continent, any one would want a reasonable sense that their life was going to be secure and safe - economically as well as physically.

[clueless_in_usa 8]

Of course. I have a friend...well...it's along and effed up story. But one of her fiances is in Kiev, actually. And she basically refuses to even entertain the idea about him here, because she'd actually have to provide for him lol. Even if that was for a month or two.

That's FSU girl right there

This quote reminds me of what my wife answered when I asked her what she liked the most about her relationship with me ...

... she said: "when I was in Russia I always had to take care of everything; the bills, cooking, cleaning, going to the supermarket, and everything about normal life, even when I had a boyfriend living with me."

I guess that she will be happy to stay with me as long as I have a job to take care of everything for her

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

This quote reminds me of what my wife answered when I asked her what she liked the most about her relationship with me ...

... she said: "when I was in Russia I always had to take care of everything; the bills, cooking, cleaning, going to the supermarket, and everything about normal life, even when I had a boyfriend living with me."

I guess that she will be happy to stay with me as long as I have a job to take care of everything for her

I have the same honor. It is rather dubious when they put it that way.

[slim 1,514]

Now there's a switch. Some comments (other than from Slim ) about the mercenary spirit of Eastern European women, rather than our own? Showing my geezerhood again here, but I don't hear much about ANY woman over thirty joining a guy in equal partnership - let alone paying his way. Seems to me that the stability represented by the ability to hold down a decent job is almost a Darwinian criteria for selection of a guy, the same way men (and be honest here guys) tend to prefer beauty over *ahem* the opposite. Truly poor men, and truly ugly gals, have the same problem dating, and there is nothing new about it.

I've always said a woman will marry the richest man she can stomach and a man will marry the most attactive woman he can buy. We're biologically hardwired to be that way. But, back to OP, there still hasn't been a single example ever of someone "going over there" for love. NEVER.

This quote reminds me of what my wife answered when I asked her what she liked the most about her relationship with me ...

... she said: "when I was in Russia I always had to take care of everything; the bills, cooking, cleaning, going to the supermarket, and everything about normal life, even when I had a boyfriend living with me."

I guess that she will be happy to stay with me as long as I have a job to take care of everything for her

Totally reinforces the point that it's simply not possible and does not happen. (And also kind of makes me wish I was a Russian man.)

I have the same honor. It is rather dubious when they put it that way.

It's also rather empowering when used in the STFU mode. "You can always go back." While I have no problem doing the 50/50 thing, I will not tolerate the whole "it's your job to take care of me now" perspective because every single one of them knows that sh!t would never fly in Russia. I have no idea why American men put up with it here.

[AKguy 1]

It's also rather empowering when used in the STFU mode. "You can always go back." While I have no problem doing the 50/50 thing, I will not tolerate the whole "it's your job to take care of me now" perspective because every single one of them knows that sh!t would never fly in Russia. I have no idea why American men put up with it here.

Because the goods are so damaged here. You fight for what you're willing to fight for.

[slim 1,514]

Because the goods are so damaged here. You fight for what you're willing to fight for.

True to an extent, but there are 48,000 other hot sexy FSU women on the websites, not to mention the Pinay and Colombian sisters.

[belarus1 0]

Say for example your fiancé would not get a visa. And the only way for you to be with her(him) would be to move and live in Ukraine or Russia. And your fiancé would ask you to do it. Would you move to marry your fiancé and live in her(his) country?

my wife is from a small town about 2 hours from Minsk and while I found it quite charming and life seemed much simpler I couldnt leave my young daughter here and even though I am far from rich I would miss the comforts I have.

we have talked about the possibility of going there for extended periods of time (wife owns a flat there that her son is living in and somehow Im paying for now;)

it just isnt possible to make enough $ to live the life I want to live, love only gets you so far.

my hobby, passion, avocation is triathlon and it is all but non-existant in Belarus mostly due to financial reasons and weather and Im not ready to give that up.

on a related note from other posters, we had discussed everything being 50/50 and she getting work once able to here but there have been hints of how she has enjoyed staying at home and not having to "do everything" and not having to be the "strong woman" she had to be back home.

it kind of freaks me out a bit feeling like Im having to take care of her 100%, thats not what we discussed and I signed up for but Im hoping once she can be a bit more independant and start working things will even out.

hell, I feel like Im taking care of the whole family there, paying for the flat, sending extra$ to her son and gifts for her family due to the numerous holidays etc...

by the way, has anyone found any way you can send $ to Belarus without using Western Union? Most places dont want to deal with Belarus.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

my wife is from a small town about 2 hours from Minsk and while I found it quite charming and life seemed much simpler I couldnt leave my young daughter here and even though I am far from rich I would miss the comforts I have.

we have talked about the possibility of going there for extended periods of time (wife owns a flat there that her son is living in and somehow Im paying for now;)

it just isnt possible to make enough $ to live the life I want to live, love only gets you so far.

my hobby, passion, avocation is triathlon and it is all but non-existant in Belarus mostly due to financial reasons and weather and Im not ready to give that up.

on a related note from other posters, we had discussed everything being 50/50 and she getting work once able to here but there have been hints of how she has enjoyed staying at home and not having to "do everything" and not having to be the "strong woman" she had to be back home.

it kind of freaks me out a bit feeling like Im having to take care of her 100%, thats not what we discussed and I signed up for but Im hoping once she can be a bit more independant and start working things will even out.

hell, I feel like Im taking care of the whole family there, paying for the flat, sending extra$ to her son and gifts for her family due to the numerous holidays etc...

by the way, has anyone found any way you can send $ to Belarus without using Western Union? Most places dont want to deal with Belarus.

Well, I questioned the whole "live there or you don't love her" premise anyway. You could say the same thing for a couple here that lives in NY and the husband (or wife gets a job in CA) Move or you don't love me. Silly. It, obviously is a personal decision. I do not have young children, they make enough money to buy plane tickest to Ukraine, I make enough money to live in Ukraine aqnd my wife has great earning capacity in Ukraine, she was doing quite well before she met me. So for us it is not financial or family oriented. In Fact it is part of the plan that Alla will study English in America. get her masters degree and teach English. US/UK/Canada/Australia educated English as Second Language teachers are in high demand all over the world. Her US citizenship (by then) will aloow us to stay in any countrey we want for as long as we want and can always come back here whenever we want. So we plan for our life to involve living in the USA, Ukraine and other countries in the future. We are just currently residing here. I assume people make decisions based on what they, as adults, decide is best for them and their family.

You can send money to Belarus by MoneyGram, much cheaper than Western Union. We use it to send money to Russia and Ukraine.

Edited February 11, 2010 by Gary and Alla

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

True to an extent, but there are 48,000 other hot sexy FSU women on the websites, not to mention the Pinay and Colombian sisters.

I am hoping that you would be joking about holding that sword over her head. In my opinion my wife (and me) are entitled to be secure in a marriage relationship. Threatening to send her back is out of bounds in my opinion. Just sayin'

[slim 1,514]

I am hoping that you would be joking about holding that sword over her head. In my opinion my wife (and me) are entitled to be secure in a marriage relationship. Threatening to send her back is out of bounds in my opinion. Just sayin'

It's as much of a joke as her informing me of the "privilege" of supporting her every whim. Sending her back should never be a threat because she should be secure enough, on her own, no matter where she is.

If she's not... therein lies the problem. I've seen all too many FSU wives get over here and try running the show because "they're hot and sexy and the fat old bald American guy is so lucky to have her." That's when the, "well you can crawl right back into your hole" argument comes out - also the simple reminder of applicants standing by.

It's not a threat unless she sets herself up for it to be one.

[visaveteran 1]

Truly poor men, and truly ugly gals, have the same problem dating, and there is nothing new about it.

Yes, but a poor man can become richer. Ugly today is ugly tomorrow...unless you find a great surgeon.

I have heard it said that Russian men prefer a less attractive woman for a wife. I think this was from the old days in Russia. A plain wife but a hot mistress. Maybe the new generation is different.

The funny thing about a beautiful woman you see everyday is the beauty becomes ordinary after awhile. And a less attractive but different and new woman can look appealing. The old saying: "Variety is the spice of life."