Wedding Planning from the UK Chat

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Inappropriate comment removed

[Ovaltine Jenkins 5]

Well, my post wasn't actually inappropriate. I just thought it would be helpful to let Sundrop know, that if she wants her guests to pay their tab, she should probably mention it on the invitation.

Whose post is inappropriate is Malrothien's post in the Signature restriction thread where she told people to shut up which I reported. And that post is still there.

[Justine+David 218]

It's not what you said, but the way you said it...

British customs when it comes to weddings are different than American ones...for example, in Britain, the bride buys all the bridesmaids' dresses, whereas here in the US, nope.

Edited February 14, 2010 by Justine+David

[jkminney 30]

Oooh, sounds fun!

I've spent a lot of time pondering the whole wedding thing. I just don't want to deal with a big wedding, ever. Ry doesn't care much, because it's about the sentiment for him not the look. Neither of us are religious, so that's not an issue. If I'd never been married before, then yup, I'd want a big thing but

I almost want to find a cute ivory dress - not a formal gown, just a chiffon-style, empire waist, just above the knee style number. Fly my best mate in from NH, find some fab spot with an awesome view at sunset, stand in front of said view with his folks, my daughter, a couple of close friends plus whoever else wants to show up, exchange personal vows and rings in front of his pastor-licensed best friend, have said best mate (who's a photographer) take pics and then head to a restaurant for an evening of fun and laughter. End of.

Don't want to pay for a venue, caterers, favours.. I'll make our cake and the few invites we'll need. Just need confirmation of numbers for the restaurant and a ring for him. And some flowers for me and a couple of button holes/ corsages.. again, something I could easily do myself. We'd extend invitations to relatives, with a kind and gentle reassurance that it's so informal, that not attending (from out of state) wouldn't be offensive.

A night or two in an intimate B&B for us and that's the honeymoon taken care of.

I've come to realise that our life is going to be in the US and from experience, friends left behind gradually fade into the distance with less and less contact over time. Yes, I have family but we're so used to being scattered across the world, it's not a new experience. Of course, I'd like my parents, brother and sis in law to be there, but I don't want them to feel obligated. Yup, I'd love it if my bestie's husband and 2 girls could come too but that's a lot of money when they'd have to cover accommodation as well.

He asked today when we can expect to hear about our approval. I told him on average sometime in May. Some people get it in less, others longer. He asked what the quickest recent approval was, and I said "hmm, 33 days I think." And said, "Oh man, wish I hadn't asked now. I'm going to get to 34 days and start going, HEY!!!! Shift it!" lol.. It's the most excitement he's shown about it, he's such a laid back kind of guy. I know that it's not because he doesn't care and just his 'all in good time' attitude, so it was very sweet hearing him be impatient about getting on with our life together.

We've decided to do a little mini honeymoon at a cabin on Lake Superior. It's quiet with nothing to do and the view is gorgeous. Between going through this process and then having the wedding to deal with I think we'll both need a little R&R in a nice quiet place. I CANT WAIT!

[SunDrop 59]

Been married once before, well educated, pretty articulate. Successfully annulled a pending divorce petition, re-petitioned and obtained a divorce in record time for our local court, and am navigating the K-1 process entirely self-taught.

Think I can manage communicating with our friends about what the incredibly informal arrangements for our wedding will be.

They all know how expensive the visa process is and that a big to-do is not affordable to us. They all know that we're easy-going, caring people who don't place 2 cents on airs and graces. They all know that we would, and do, bend over backwards to help in absolutely any way we can, whatever and whenever their need. We are often generous to our own detriment, without solicitation.

We won't have a gift registry, won't ask for money and will probably end up not going to a restaurant but instead have a potluck BBQ back at our place, where everyone can hang out, talk, listen to music, play The Beatles Rockband and basically celebrate our marriage surrounded by those who love us and will be an active part of our lives til our dying days.

I've put a lot of thought into ways that every single person can play an active role in our day. There'll be an opportunity for anyone who is moved to, to contribute their thoughts, well-wishes, experiences and advice in a quasi-quaker style ceremony. We'll have a time capsule/ box for people to write messages that we can open on our 10th anniversary, I'm sure that we'll think of others. Because these are the types of gifts or 'investments' we'll appreciate forever, as well as the kind that makes it memorable for all who took part.

And anyone who's read and followed this thread will see that half of the time, I'm thinking out loud. lol..

You've basically been trying to bait me in nearly every single post you've made over the past couple of days and obviously I'm not the only one to think that. *shrugs*

[Ovaltine Jenkins 5]

I was just trying to help you out so you wouldn't get into a problematic situation with your friends because I've never heard of someone expecting wedding guests buy their own meal. Your divorce has nothing to do with that. Just say you thought of that and everything is perfect

[Darnell 8,478]

If yer wanting that traditional Scots wedding, and if you need a piper, let me know - send me a PM, I'll hook you up with someone local-ish to yer town.

[Ovaltine Jenkins 5]

Sundrop, sorry if I upset you, I didn't mean to

[Nik+Heather 121]

Justine, that sounds like you guys had quite a time! And your dad giving the talk! Sometimes I wish that we'd had a few more of those traditional hoops to jump through to get married, and then I remember the whole visa process. HA!

My cousin invited a lot of people to a wedding brunch, but declined to mention that it was a pay-your-own-way. Our family sort of broke up to mingle, and my parents ended up at table of 6 or so, and were the only ones still sitting there when the (expensive Sunday brunch) bill came around. *oops!* Luckily, cell phone numbers were used, and most were rounded back up to pay out, but it was sort of awkward, for sure!

Also, we were at this game night last night, were the lady sitting next to me told me all about how at her wedding, the whole bridal party wore bowling shirts. The bride's said "Bride" the "Bridal Minions' said 'Bridal Minion'" etc. And the friend sitting next to her showed up in a bowling shirt which said "Guest" She proceeded to go on and on about how she didn't want to look like a "Hostess Cupcake" in a dress that she'd only ever wear one time, and how she spent less money on the outfits than most women spend on shoes!!! I think she was expecting me to eventually jump in with some sort of comment...

I declined to tell her about the fairy tale princess dress I got married in (nor how much I paid!!). Or that I only shelled out $35 for shoes which I can wear over and over. Nik and I did share a look, however. Oh yes, this was after she made some quite flowery compliments about Nik's accent, and asked him to speak as much as he liked...I have to say that rather than being mortally offended, I felt sort of like Mr. Bennet listening to Mr. Collins.

[SunDrop 59]

Justine, that sounds like you guys had quite a time! And your dad giving the talk! Sometimes I wish that we'd had a few more of those traditional hoops to jump through to get married, and then I remember the whole visa process. HA!

My cousin invited a lot of people to a wedding brunch, but declined to mention that it was a pay-your-own-way. Our family sort of broke up to mingle, and my parents ended up at table of 6 or so, and were the only ones still sitting there when the (expensive Sunday brunch) bill came around. *oops!* Luckily, cell phone numbers were used, and most were rounded back up to pay out, but it was sort of awkward, for sure!

Also, we were at this game night last night, were the lady sitting next to me told me all about how at her wedding, the whole bridal party wore bowling shirts. The bride's said "Bride" the "Bridal Minions' said 'Bridal Minion'" etc. And the friend sitting next to her showed up in a bowling shirt which said "Guest" She proceeded to go on and on about how she didn't want to look like a "Hostess Cupcake" in a dress that she'd only ever wear one time, and how she spent less money on the outfits than most women spend on shoes!!! I think she was expecting me to eventually jump in with some sort of comment...

I declined to tell her about the fairy tale princess dress I got married in (nor how much I paid!!). Or that I only shelled out $35 for shoes which I can wear over and over. Nik and I did share a look, however. Oh yes, this was after she made some quite flowery compliments about Nik's accent, and asked him to speak as much as he liked...I have to say that rather than being mortally offended, I felt sort of like Mr. Bennet listening to Mr. Collins.

Oh gracious - that IS embarrassing. Wouldn't dream of not making it known, tactfully, if we do decide to go the restaurant route. And wow the 'hostess cupcake" chick, lacking tact or what? I would have declined to make any comment about it too. Such a personal thing...

And omg, the accent thing. Spoke with a school yesterday about enrolling my daughter, and they were so helpful and friendly. When I was recounting it all to Ry, he said, "you probably made their day! It'll be all around the school that there's a little english girl coming with her cute accent." lol..

I don't get it so much in AZ, although I do hear things like, "I could listen to you talk all day!" but when visiting my bestie in TN where she lived at the time, they would ask me to say random words like "purse" or "trousers" and then fall over themselves with delight at how "awesome" it sounds and how they wish they spoke like that.. wierd. lol...

[SunDrop 59]

So for an update. My future MIL asked me how plans are going. LOL... what plans?? But she went on to tell me that a friend of hers offered up all the stuff she has from her daughter's wedding last summer. Colours are cream and 'celery', which works with what I was thinking of anyway, so that's great news.

Long story short, it put a rocket up me proverbial to actually consider not doing a JoP quickie, but instead doing a ceremonial cheapie! Tried to find some venues that didn't charge the earth but realise that I'll have to give up on wanting a 'sunset' ceremony without costing $900 for only 3 hours' worth of venue. The same place does 8.30-2.30 for half the price, so reasonable and I realised that it could be a lot of fun to theme the wedding around 'an English Tea Party' type thing, with scones and finger sandwiches, pimms & lemonade, tea, strawberries and whatever other ideas come to mind. Here's the website for the venue that could be very cute! And it's literally over the road from his place, so that makes life a little easier...

I've known what kind of flowers I'd like for a while now - stargazer lilies with cream roses, and maybe a small number of dusty pink for balance - and thought I knew what kind of dress I wanted. So the search began and I found this, which I'd get in Ivory.

but then that blasted David's Bridal sent me an email and I saw this dress.

OH decisions... the DB is sooo purdy, but a lot more formal and more than 4 times the price!

And I also found a class at our local adult education college in sugar paste flowers, which I've dabbled with before but the summer term they make ... stargazer lilies! How much fun would it be to do this as a distraction from waiting for NOA2s and Interviews, etc... I'll have to practice my actual cake decorating again, not to mention baking! Not going to do my diet any good, but at least I can fatten up everyone at work while testing recipes! lol...

[Justine+David 218]

Try preownedweddingdresses.com

It's so awesome! I didn't get my dress there, but for sure my veil which will be half the price! Don't get me started on how I found my exact dress for 1/3 off the price in the same size grr...

[Nik+Heather 121]

So for an update. My future MIL asked me how plans are going. LOL... what plans?? But she went on to tell me that a friend of hers offered up all the stuff she has from her daughter's wedding last summer. Colours are cream and 'celery', which works with what I was thinking of anyway, so that's great news.

Long story short, it put a rocket up me proverbial to actually consider not doing a JoP quickie, but instead doing a ceremonial cheapie! Tried to find some venues that didn't charge the earth but realise that I'll have to give up on wanting a 'sunset' ceremony without costing $900 for only 3 hours' worth of venue. The same place does 8.30-2.30 for half the price, so reasonable and I realised that it could be a lot of fun to theme the wedding around 'an English Tea Party' type thing, with scones and finger sandwiches, pimms & lemonade, tea, strawberries and whatever other ideas come to mind. Here's the website for the venue that could be very cute! And it's literally over the road from his place, so that makes life a little easier...

I've known what kind of flowers I'd like for a while now - stargazer lilies with cream roses, and maybe a small number of dusty pink for balance - and thought I knew what kind of dress I wanted. So the search began and I found this, which I'd get in Ivory.

but then that blasted David's Bridal sent me an email and I saw this dress.

OH decisions... the DB is sooo purdy, but a lot more formal and more than 4 times the price!

And I also found a class at our local adult education college in sugar paste flowers, which I've dabbled with before but the summer term they make ... stargazer lilies! How much fun would it be to do this as a distraction from waiting for NOA2s and Interviews, etc... I'll have to practice my actual cake decorating again, not to mention baking! Not going to do my diet any good, but at least I can fatten up everyone at work while testing recipes! lol...

We had ours at the desert botanical gardens in Phoenix. Highly recommended - the Tucson DBG, looks pretty similar, so...

You've been bitten by the wedding gown bug! I liked a lot of dresses online, but most didn't pan out in person. (luckily, or I would have dithered about it for another couple months!)

One thing that I learned about wedding cakes was that the frosting used matters. I can't remember much (I don't like cake, so I turned this whole thing over to mother), but basically, there are two main types of frosting used on wedding cakes. One attracts the AZ dust like CRAZY and is not recommended for outdoor weddings. The other is OK.

[SunDrop 59]

One thing that I learned about wedding cakes was that the frosting used matters. I can't remember much (I don't like cake, so I turned this whole thing over to mother), but basically, there are two main types of frosting used on wedding cakes. One attracts the AZ dust like CRAZY and is not recommended for outdoor weddings. The other is OK.

Ohhhhhhhh bother. Was thinking of going with sponge cake (instead of fruit cake, which is very English! lol) and using a buttercream as 'glue' for a rolled fondant outside, which is what makes cakes look pro-smooth.

Is there any way you might be able to find out for me, which is the right one for dust avoidance? I'll be ever so grateful. I'd get the fella onto it, but considering all his friends are guys..... LOL. He's not much into cakes either.

I'm a little worried about going for the 8.30 - 4.30 option, because it's still going to be hot in mid September, which is when we're likely to be having it. Doesn't look like there's a lot of shade. If we had the ceremony at say 12.30, spending 4 hours standing in the blazing sunshine with little shade is not going to be much fun.

And of course, now that I've started thinking about it, I'd much prefer the day option because having put my head together with my MOH, we're thinking 'English Tea Party' theme.

Mum keeps trying to tell me I insist on making life more complicated than it need be! lol

[jkminney 30]

Ohhhhhhhh bother. Was thinking of going with sponge cake (instead of fruit cake, which is very English! lol) and using a buttercream as 'glue' for a rolled fondant outside, which is what makes cakes look pro-smooth.

Is there any way you might be able to find out for me, which is the right one for dust avoidance? I'll be ever so grateful. I'd get the fella onto it, but considering all his friends are guys..... LOL. He's not much into cakes either.

I'm a little worried about going for the 8.30 - 4.30 option, because it's still going to be hot in mid September, which is when we're likely to be having it. Doesn't look like there's a lot of shade. If we had the ceremony at say 12.30, spending 4 hours standing in the blazing sunshine with little shade is not going to be much fun.

And of course, now that I've started thinking about it, I'd much prefer the day option because having put my head together with my MOH, we're thinking 'English Tea Party' theme.

Mum keeps trying to tell me I insist on making life more complicated than it need be! lol

I'm sure the buttercream is the frosting that would collect the dust as it's a much softer icing. The fondant is almost like a shell so chances of it getting "stuck" on it would be far less.