Wedding Planning from the UK Chat

[pdcvcc 0]

Originally we were going to see the judge followed by a blessing the following year. Then we found an amazing venue where we could get married and have the reception. We didn't want to put a deposit down and risk losing it so they said they would work with us if we could be flexible on the date. Then we decided that it was more important to us to have Tony come to my interview and we used the wedding budget for it. Tony got to meet my family and friends which was lovely as they couldn't come to the wedding.

So for the wedding we were married at our local court house. It wasn't clinical in the least. It's what you make it. I was lucky that my sister was on vacation at Disney so we flew her in for the ceremony and we had 8 of our closest friends with us. I still wore my dress ($300 from David's Bridal), I didn't look out of place and if I did, I didn't care. I also wore my best friends necklace who couldn't make it and it was like she was there with me.

After the ceremony we went to the park for photos and then we went to Maggiano's (great itallian restaurant) for a family style spaghetti dinner. After this we went back to our house where more friends came to join us for cake and champagne, this was my favourite part of the day (apart from saying I do!).

It was a fantastic day, laid back and relaxed. All of our friends took pictures and emailed them to us so we have plenty to choose from now. I bought 3 bunches of white roses, I made my bouquet and everyone's button holes. The cake was a single layer from publix.

My family and friends called and texted throughout the day and it seemed that they were there with me.

Tony still promised me a blessing this year but now it really doesn't seem that important. So we've come up with a compromise, next year we'll have a blessing/christening!!!!

It sounds lovely. And wonderful that your sister could come. Do you have pictures? Maggiano's is great. A friend of work had their reception there as well.

[brit_la 1]

Totally get the benefits of a 'package' deal but in our case, we're both rather skint and also won't be having a very big wedding numbers-wise, so will likely keep it more DIYish. I love the idea that you can use anywhere you like to actually get married, unlike the UK where it has to be licensed as a venue for civil ceremonies and also, can have anyone who is registered be the 'minister'. Ry's best mate is actually licensed although I'm not sure if he wants him to perform the ceremony or act as his best man. But as it's really easy to get licensed, we could theoretically ask anyone we like to do it and the idea of it being that personal is fab. He's not a church goer, so doesn't have a family vicar or anyone like that.

That's really helpful to know about the dress alterations. This is my second marriage, and I did the traditional dress with train first time around. Definately going white and weddingy but thinking more for a knee length, empire bodice type, chiffony skirt type affair. Definately don't want to spend a fortune so will actually be looking at bridesmaid dresses too. Having said that, I get the impression (possibly wrongly, it has been 11 years since I last looked!) that we Brits tend to not have the same variety of styles for bridesmaids that they do in the States.

I don't want to shoot myself in the foot and say that I'm pretty confident that we'll get the visas for certain by x date, but by having it as a less formal event, we can get more flexibility. I like September 12th as a date, because it's shown up twice in our relationship history now but I'm unsure about having an anniversary so close to 9/11. It would also mean that some of my friends would want to fly in the day before and I just don't know how people feel about flying on that date. I know I'm a little wierd about it and I don't blink at the thought of flying usually.

How are you managing invites and is anyone from the UK traveling over for it?

Oooh, can you link us to a pic of it? Sounds like the sort of thing I'm looking for!

Oh, yea, no trust me, we have no money either! The place we found only charges $55 per person, this includes ceremony, reception, dinner etc etc. So its really good deal. And yea, we are getting married in a garden, which I love the idea of. I cant believe that you cant do that here! We are also having family help with many of the tasks, Mikes uncle is a judge, so he will be marrying us. We arent religious, so having him do the ceremony and have it in a garden is perfect.

Your dress idea sounds really nice, hope you manage to find your perfect dress. My dress arrived today, yippee! I would definitely have a look at Davids Bridal, as their dresses are so cheap. I ordered my dress from america, over here it was £890 in the shop I tried it on in, in the states, it was $640! Crazy. That wasnt from Davids Bridal though. But I have been there and they have such a huge selection of really well priced dresses. And yes, bridesmaids and groomsmen pay their own way in america! When I was told this, it was such a huge relief, as im having 6 bridesmaids(luckily 4 of them are American lol)

As for our invites, as soon as we booked a place, we sent out save the date evites. There is the great website www.theknot.com and you can create your evites and own website on their. Its also got a wedding planner too that helps you sort stuff out. This is my first(and hopefully only!) wedding, so this is really good help for me. So we sent these out to everyone we wanted to invite, so they could start planning.

The wedding package includes invites, so I have them with me now, ready to write up. We have about half (30-40) the guests coming over from the UK. Luckily, I used to work for British Airways, so most of them work for, or can get discount for flights!

So, I have pretty much got everything sorted for the wedding now, that can be done. I have my interview on the 9th Feb, so all my energy is going into making sure I have everything for that at the moment. But once that is hopefully, all passed and approved, I can throw myself into moving(eek) and finalising my plans.

Good luck with the dress hunt!

[jhphi 0]

Hi everyone. We got married in the US on October 10th, and are back in the UK doing DCF in hopes of moving to the US by spring/summer. Anyway, I just wanted to introduce you to my favorite wedding planning website, which I LOVED while I was planning from the UK for our US wedding. It's www.weddingbee.com , and it has a very active boards section that is much friendlier than The Knot boards, plus it features lots of different brides blogging about different stages of their wedding planning. Go check it out!

[Leenie 15]

Hi everyone. We got married in the US on October 10th, and are back in the UK doing DCF in hopes of moving to the US by spring/summer. Anyway, I just wanted to introduce you to my favorite wedding planning website, which I LOVED while I was planning from the UK for our US wedding. It's www.weddingbee.com , and it has a very active boards section that is much friendlier than The Knot boards, plus it features lots of different brides blogging about different stages of their wedding planning. Go check it out!

Wow, I just checked it out, and Wedding Bee is great! Thanks for posting the link. It seems like their regional boards are a really good place to get localized advice. I've just spent the last hour browsing photographer recommendations!

[jhphi 0]

Wow, I just checked it out, and Wedding Bee is great! Thanks for posting the link. It seems like their regional boards are a really good place to get localized advice. I've just spent the last hour browsing photographer recommendations!

Leenie-- also, check out the blog posts by Miss d'Orsay-- she was living in England during her wedding planning, and made several posts about the visa process (her now-husband is British). I think she is on VisaJourney too.

[Leenie 15]

Leenie-- also, check out the blog posts by Miss d'Orsay-- she was living in England during her wedding planning, and made several posts about the visa process (her now-husband is British). I think she is on VisaJourney too.

You're the best! I did just that, and check out what I found on her blog:

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=38823259

I would happily wear this as a wedding band. It feels like overt internet humor, and we DID meet online!

[FrostyMist 1]

So for the wedding we were married at our local court house. It wasn't clinical in the least. It's what you make it. I was lucky that my sister was on vacation at Disney so we flew her in for the ceremony and we had 8 of our closest friends with us. I still wore my dress ($300 from David's Bridal), I didn't look out of place and if I did, I didn't care. I also wore my best friends necklace who couldn't make it and it was like she was there with me.

After the ceremony we went to the park for photos and then we went to Maggiano's (great itallian restaurant) for a family style spaghetti dinner. After this we went back to our house where more friends came to join us for cake and champagne, this was my favourite part of the day (apart from saying I do!).

It was a fantastic day, laid back and relaxed. All of our friends took pictures and emailed them to us so we have plenty to choose from now. I bought 3 bunches of white roses, I made my bouquet and everyone's button holes. The cake was a single layer from publix.

My family and friends called and texted throughout the day and it seemed that they were there with me.

Tony still promised me a blessing this year but now it really doesn't seem that important. So we've come up with a compromise, next year we'll have a blessing/christening!!!!

Aww, that sounds really lovely. I can imagine mine being something like that, and would be pretty happy with it if it were.

It didn't take much discussion before my fiance and I decided that we didn't want to plan a wedding and deal with the visa application at the same time. Those of you that have started planning (and even booked venues, etc) before the visa approval - I admire you all a great deal.

For us, the logistics of getting everyone in my family who I want to invite (my mum and step-father, my brother and his fiancee, my other brother and his girlfriend) are pretty complex. Financially, no one in my family is in any position to be able to afford to fly over this year, (well, my mum and step-father are planning on visiting in summer, but that's still a bit up in the air yet and my brothers certainly can't afford such costs at the moment) and we - unfortunately - are not in a position to offer to help towards flight costs because all our money is going on his next trip here to fetch me, and moving my stuff and pets to the US when I leave.

So, for us, once I'm over on the K1 visa, we plan on getting "all the legal bits" (to put it unromantically) taken care of, and then we'll think about how we'll celebrate the occasion. I'm thinking since we'll marry in summer, we could plan to have a sort of wedding anniversary celebration the year after, and have everyone come for that. I don't like the thought of it being so far from our actual wedding date, but I think it might be a good option for us. Unfortunately though, my brother is actually getting married next year, and will be off on his honeymoon afterwards, so I don't know if he would be able to come. Which means we'd end up having to replan or wait another year.

To be honest though, I am not hugely fond of being the centre of attention! And neither is my fiance. Nor do I much like the idea of dresses and makeup, having your hair done and being fussed over, either. So we're both struggling to think of how best to celebrate our marriage in a way that actually will suit the both of us. My fiance actually has more ideas about what he wants for the wedding than I do! Although I seem to have some definite opinions about the cake! What wedding plans we have discussed are almost entirely based around what sort of cake we want!

Edited January 21, 2010 by FrostyMist

[jhphi 0]

My fiance actually has more ideas about what he wants for the wedding than I do! Although I seem to have some definite opinions about the cake! What wedding plans we have discussed are almost entirely based around what sort of cake we want!

Of course! Well, the cake IS the most important part, after all! Sugary deliciousness!

[jhphi 0]

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=38823259

I would happily wear this as a wedding band. It feels like overt internet humor, and we DID meet online!

Love it! I love Etsy, and how it's so easy to customize items with the seller. I ordered a pretty ribbon headband from there for the wedding, our table numbers/menu cards, and also a bridesmaid gift.

[FrostyMist 1]

Of course! Well, the cake IS the most important part, after all! Sugary deliciousness!

Is it bad that we can't decide what kinda cake we want, so we just end up agreeing that we'll "have one of each!"? He wants a chocolate fountain, too! Me thinks everyone is going to leave our wedding ten stone heavier than they were when they arrived!

Seriously though, my fiance and I have agreed that we would both like something small and intimate. A few close family members in a quiet, private location (we're even thinking of having it at his mum's, since she has a lovely home and a huge garden) will probably do us nicely.

Edited January 21, 2010 by FrostyMist

[Rito 28]

We're getting married in Vegas with an Elvis impersonator and five friends for $150. We want this ordeal over in the quickest & tackiest way possible, so we can have a few laughs and get to the important business of living life.

There will probably be something bigger, with families and goddamn flowers, in the future. We don't have the cash for that now, let alone the time.

[david'sgirl 134]

We already had the wedding last July in Scotland but we still have to plan something over here with my side of the family. Our original plan was to put the outfits back on and have a party or a meal. But the longer we go from the wedding the less I feel like having a reception. I'm trying to think of a way to do something small and I am really leaning toward a small gathering by the lake or something this summer.

David's bridal is great for gowns. I have got my daughter's prom dress there, bridesmaids etc I got my dress in a very unusual place. You will not believe the prices. It had hand done embroidery and beading I got it at Holy clothing.com.

http://stores.channeladvisor.com/Holycloth...c%20Sun%20Dress

My husband booked the wedding ceremony on the Isle of Skye in Scotland and then had to tell me to apply for a visa so we could get married. It took only a couple of weeks to get it. The wedding rooms at registrar's office in Scotland are often as nice as a hall or church you would pay a large fee to use in the states.

I found a local florist who did my flowers. I wanted roses,wild flowers and thistle and tartan ribbons. She used thistle and tartan for boutineers (buttonholes). I was unaware of the tradition of everyone needing one so I ended up ordering a lot on short notice.

Wedding cake in Scotland and US are completely different things!. My sister in law stacked several special occassion cakes and wrapped them in tartan and topped with a lovely cake topper. It looked very professional and tasted like fruit cake wrapped in marzipan.

We found a cool site for favors and stationary. It is called Myownlabels.com. We decided to have custom made wine bottle labels made (they also fit sparkling cider), organza bags and tags and those made unique favors.

I got invitations and favors from them as well.

Good luck!

Di

PS Cant sleep! I'm flying tomorrow to London. We have interview Monday!

[RUSSandRACHEL 3]

Hi everyone,

We also did what many people advised against - the thing your not supposed to do... We started planning our wedding after getting engaged in April 2009. By July last year, my dress was bought and I took it home with me to the UK in September. During my summer trip out there, we also booked the ceremony site (a beautiful gazebo overlooking the jersey shore one way and a lake the other), the banquet house for the reception, the photographer, the florist, the DJ and the officiant. We're only having 4 people attend from the UK (no famly unfortunately) and we're only having about 40 people in total there. We sent off our I-129F in July and my interview is on Monday. We gave ourselves a good 11 months and its worked out well for us. We did hear alot of advice about having a quickie ceremony and celebration later but that wasn't for us.. we want the dream wedding we've always wanted and didnt want to do it any other way. Can't wait for it to come around!!!

Edited January 23, 2010 by RUSSandRACHEL

[Justine+David 218]

Got a lot of wedding planning stuff done these past few weeks!

David and I were in Seattle together (where the wedding will be; I live in the DC area now) and went to Michael's (a crafts-type store) and basically went crazy...

Bought 15 7-foot fake trees (they were 1/3 off and it was hilarious bringing them all up to the register and then out to my dad's truck...it looked like a forest line, lol. We put them in the garage and my sister's room which looks a little bit like a jungle) and white christmas lights to wrap around them...

Table decorations: large vertical glass bowels with pebbles, plus water, plus floating candles...evergreen branches on the tables themselves

Went cake-tasting and decided on white chococlate raspberry (yum!)

Did the Engagement Encounter since I'm Catholic and he's Baptist (lol, my priest interviewed David while we were there and was going on about how Baptists take the bible literally and David was like, "Wait! No! nonono. We definitely believe there is a biblical truth vs literal truth--I guess British Baptists are different than American Baptists; when I lived in Georgia, they told me I was going to hell because I was Catholic...) and the retreat was fine. I was exhausted because I work the night shift and had to stay up all day and David was exhausted from losing 8 hours from the time zones...

Had an engagement party from my parents where David met about 234872389 people, all of which clamored to meet him one-on-one "sometime later this week." I think we stopped at about person #8 because I wanted him to meet my friends, a.k.a. most of the wedding party! and trying to see all my relatives was just too much.

Decided to get food from Costco...the catering is just too expensive for us at this point. Our venue provides all the dishware and tables, etc, so we'll hire a few of my mom's friends to clean up.

Dad did the whole, "I need to talk to David, Justine." "Okay. Where should we go?" "Alone, Justine." "DAD!!!!!" "Justine" and David said it wasn't bad at all...

Went snowshoeing with Dad on Mt. Rainier, to which I told David, "Now, this is hiking! None of that small hill ####### you've taken me on...love you dear!" and we got this fantastic photo of us on a frozen lake with the mountain in the background that we'll be using on our invitations.

When we got back to D.C. after having two cancelled flights, two delayed flights, and a $75 taxi ride sliding around the freeway, we also got David's interview date.

All in all, very productive two weeks!

[SunDrop 59]

Oooh, sounds fun!

I've spent a lot of time pondering the whole wedding thing. I just don't want to deal with a big wedding, ever. Ry doesn't care much, because it's about the sentiment for him not the look. Neither of us are religious, so that's not an issue. If I'd never been married before, then yup, I'd want a big thing but

I almost want to find a cute ivory dress - not a formal gown, just a chiffon-style, empire waist, just above the knee style number. Fly my best mate in from NH, find some fab spot with an awesome view at sunset, stand in front of said view with his folks, my daughter, a couple of close friends plus whoever else wants to show up, exchange personal vows and rings in front of his pastor-licensed best friend, have said best mate (who's a photographer) take pics and then head to a restaurant for an evening of fun and laughter. End of.

Don't want to pay for a venue, caterers, favours.. I'll make our cake and the few invites we'll need. Just need confirmation of numbers for the restaurant and a ring for him. And some flowers for me and a couple of button holes/ corsages.. again, something I could easily do myself. We'd extend invitations to relatives, with a kind and gentle reassurance that it's so informal, that not attending (from out of state) wouldn't be offensive.

A night or two in an intimate B&B for us and that's the honeymoon taken care of.

I've come to realise that our life is going to be in the US and from experience, friends left behind gradually fade into the distance with less and less contact over time. Yes, I have family but we're so used to being scattered across the world, it's not a new experience. Of course, I'd like my parents, brother and sis in law to be there, but I don't want them to feel obligated. Yup, I'd love it if my bestie's husband and 2 girls could come too but that's a lot of money when they'd have to cover accommodation as well.

He asked today when we can expect to hear about our approval. I told him on average sometime in May. Some people get it in less, others longer. He asked what the quickest recent approval was, and I said "hmm, 33 days I think." And said, "Oh man, wish I hadn't asked now. I'm going to get to 34 days and start going, HEY!!!! Shift it!" lol.. It's the most excitement he's shown about it, he's such a laid back kind of guy. I know that it's not because he doesn't care and just his 'all in good time' attitude, so it was very sweet hearing him be impatient about getting on with our life together.

Edited February 14, 2010 by SunDrop