Why a Filipna???? Tips?? Lessons?

[~Johnny~ 27]

Okay...I apologize if this has been touched on but I searched and searched and didn't come with my answers. There's a post earlier on why filipinas marry westerners....but not what I'm looking for....Soooooo here goes:

This past New Year's Eve I attended a party with my future inlaws, and future cousin inlaws....minus my future wife (She's in PI). Long story, but lots of her family live here in SoCal. Well, it seems most of the night, the men folks hung out outside by the pool bar and the women folk were inside singing Filipino Karaoke... yeah and quite loudly too... The men were all chatting and saying how demanding their women were....and while some stories were very funny..and some were not so funny.. I asked the question... So...why did you marry her? And are you guys happy?? Everyone still answered because she's wonderful, faithful and I love her and most guys said, yes we're happy...some have been married 20+ yrs (western guys and filipina) and still joked about their wives having their nuts in a vise... So my questions to you VJ'rs with filipina wives are:

1. Why do you decide a filipina sweetheart was the perfect girl for you? (aside from obvious reasons, such as beauty and family oriented)

2. If you've been married a while now, how's things going? Are you happy with each other?

3. Are there things you wish you could change?

4. If you had this to do all over again, would you?

5. Any tips for a future newlywed?

Please keep answers civil as this post is not intended to poke fun at current relationships. I'm just curious if people are actually happy and satisfied with this serious life change on two lives and entire families from different continents.

Edited January 15, 2010 by duplantisjj

[Donna A 4]

all i can say is if this turns into an american woman bashing thread like they all do, im reporting it so be careful!!

[ellmvl 1]

I wish I can convince my husband to respond to this but I have asked him these questions before so i'll tell you about it. And as a filipina, I also want to answer this...if it's ok

1.) Why filipina: He said he wasn't really pursuing to marry a filipina in particular and he wasn't even thinking of getting married that time (@ 34) until he found me. First thing he likes about me when we first talked online was my sarcasm and being a "smart-@s$" lol he thought hmmm...interesting. So we communicate everyday and got to know each other better and later he realized that I am the kind of woman that he wish to be with for life...and i feel the same way for him. So we got married! He married me not because I am a filipina...he doesn't even look at me as a filipina but as a person of who I am. Yes we hear a lot of nice things about filipinas but I think NOT all of us are the same...so with other race.

2.) Yes, we are very happy with each other. I hope my husband feels the same too, LOL ok we find each other annoying sometimes, but yes we are happy and in love as always. We get arguments and stuff like normal couples do...but the make up part is the best thing about it.

3.) There is nothing I wish to change about us...this is how we fell in love...so this is how we gonns live. Ok, if there is one thing I want to change now...our address. I wish we live in the Philippines, so I don't have to deal with snow and cold (grrr) LOL

4.) Yes, I want to fall in love with him over and over again if I will be given a chance the only part that I don't wanna do again is the VISA process hehehe...but if thats what it takes to be with him then yes.

5.) Tips for the newlywed: Ummm...so far I've only been married for almost 2 yrs now. What I have learned from this marriage is patience...MORE patience! Yep the wedding is nice, sweet and like a fairytale but to keep the marriage alive is a LOT of drama, actions and suspense LOL. Don't spend too much time worrying about the future...you enjoy each others company and compliment each other. Oh when you are mad and sometimes you want to strangle your partner...try to look at her/him when they're sleeping...it will calm you down and you will think she/he's an angel...then the next thing u want to do is reach her/him and kiss. It works for me

Best wishes to both of you! Have a happy marriage

[Mike's Lucy 14]

Wife here. I asked my husband and here's his answers.

1. Why do you decide a filipina sweetheart was the perfect girl for you? (aside from obvious reasons, such as beauty and family oriented)

"It's a silly question. I didn't find looking for a Filipina, I just found you."

2. If you've been married a while now, how's things going? Are you happy with each other?

"Yeah, happy mostly. Just like other relationships, there are ups and downs."

3. Are there things you wish you could change?

"Yeah, your moodiness."

4. If you had this to do all over again, would you?

"Of course."

5. Any tips for a future newlywed?

"Be patient with your spouse."

[Ban Hammer 13,110]

all i can say is if this turns into an american woman bashing thread like they all do, im reporting it so be careful!!

and i'll be locking it.

[-B&T- 1]

[john & jean 37]

I have a tip!!

PAY FOR DRIVING LESSONS WHILE SHE IS IN THE PHILIPPINES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OR YOU WILL REMEMBER THIS TIP

[~Johnny~ 27]

Thanks for the great reponses from the wives...

I never meant this be any type of bashing American (or other ethnic group) thread. That's why I never asked the question "filipina vs americana". That's a pointless discussion and doesn't deserve anyone's time. I was more interested in the existing relationships from VJ'rs and how things are progressing with cultural differences between two totally different cultural unions. Mainly how the new bride and groom have found ways to work together and respect each other. Maybe people could say things that worked for them, or things that didn't work. I can already see paitence is one key that has been repeated a few times.

Surprising though how some threads, which have UNBELIEVABLE replies, such as that "money shot" thread continue without threat, but a serious post about how to have a good, lasting relationship is threatened with lock before it even starts.

Edited January 16, 2010 by duplantisjj

[FortLaudy 10]

Thanks for the warning Charles, I hope everyone will behave and be nice.

I can only advice on the newlywed part, and I think that's pretty general no matter where your partner is from.

Get to know your partner very well before marriage and be very clear on things such as future goals especially when it comes to where you want to both live and what type of housing, where you see yourself in 5 or 10 years - does it match up with her idea? if either of you need to finish a degree go back to school discuss the implications, make sure you both understand your budget clearly and what income is being generate and what debt is owned and expenses per month by both so there are no surprises afterward, make sure you're clear on who does what type of chores around the house and that you're not marrying a dirty lazy azz, about hobbies and interests make sure you have atleast some things in common so you can enjoy life together, turn off that tv and learn to do something new and fun together, go away on trips and have a lot of sex B)

[DainandVicky 4]

Don't marry a Filipina or an American or an Irish or a Kenyan. Marry the woman you're in love with. Marry the woman that matches your goals, your ideals, your faith, your morals, your retirement plans, your ideas for size of family desired, your ideas of ideal financial success level.... etc. MOST OF ALL marry the woman who makes your heart rush, that you can't stop thinking about even if you try to because you're mad at her. The one you'll forgive anything... And, people will probably complain that I'll say this, but also marry the woman you are sexually compatible with, sex drive, open or closed-mindedness, etc. Without sex it's just a very close friendship and room-mate. Physical attraction is only important for the beginning until you develop deeper feelings, but it has to be there too.

Having dated a lot in my younger years (my first marriage was at age 33), I can tell you from very personal experience, NO TWO WOMEN are the same. I've dated mostly American women, but also one from Peru, one from Spain, and a previous Pinay. All were already in the U.S. and legal status. This is the first relationship I ever had from afar and didn't intend it to ever happen, it just happened. We started out friends from a social networking site, very casual. I always liked talking to her, joking and laughing and I just always wanted to talk to her more and more. We found we had more and more and more in common and I just became more and more convinced this could really turn into something very great.

The Pinay I dated before is COMPLETELY different from my fiancee. Like cast from completely different molds. To find anything they had in common besides hair color and gender would be very difficult.

Your topic is the same as "who's married to a brunette, what do you like or what don't you like". Or, "who's married to a Pisces/ Aries/ Sagitarrius and how is that going for you" (actually that group might have more in common than the 45 MILLION or so women you just lumped together), or who's married to a woman under 5'5" and how's her cooking?

[charlie&pam 1]

all i can say is if this turns into an american woman bashing thread like they all do, im reporting it so be careful!!

will you chill out !!!!!!! I can see what he wants to know but might not have worded it the proper way since it is obvious u are a female and assume people want to attack!!!!!.............To the OP all I can say is for me personally It comes down do careing and her being family orientated !!!!!! Also with the upbringing of only one guy for there life is very encouraging for me since I do have 2 children and she is willing to accept them as gher own!!!!.....And to Donna you should be the one reported since that is baiting and u just want that attention!!! we have a saying for that over here it is called an attention ........well i wont say the rest

[charlie&pam 1]

Don't marry a Filipina or an American or an Irish or a Kenyan. Marry the woman you're in love with. Marry the woman that matches your goals, your ideals, your faith, your morals, your retirement plans, your ideas for size of family desired, your ideas of ideal financial success level.... etc. MOST OF ALL marry the woman who makes your heart rush, that you can't stop thinking about even if you try to because you're mad at her. The one you'll forgive anything... And, people will probably complain that I'll say this, but also marry the woman you are sexually compatible with, sex drive, open or closed-mindedness, etc. Without sex it's just a very close friendship and room-mate. Physical attraction is only important for the beginning until you develop deeper feelings, but it has to be there too.

Having dated a lot in my younger years (my first marriage was at age 33), I can tell you from very personal experience, NO TWO WOMEN are the same. I've dated mostly American women, but also one from Peru, one from Spain, and a previous Pinay. All were already in the U.S. and legal status. This is the first relationship I ever had from afar and didn't intend it to ever happen, it just happened. We started out friends from a social networking site, very casual. I always liked talking to her, joking and laughing and I just always wanted to talk to her more and more. We found we had more and more and more in common and I just became more and more convinced this could really turn into something very great.

The Pinay I dated before is COMPLETELY different from my fiancee. Like cast from completely different molds. To find anything they had in common besides hair color and gender would be very difficult.

Your topic is the same as "who's married to a brunette, what do you like or what don't you like". Or, "who's married to a Pisces/ Aries/ Sagitarrius and how is that going for you" (actually that group might have more in common than the 45 MILLION or so women you just lumped together), or who's married to a woman under 5'5" and how's her cooking?

dane that is a great way to put it !!!!!

[FortLaudy 10]

Don't marry a Filipina or an American or an Irish or a Kenyan. Marry the woman you're in love with. Marry the woman that matches your goals, your ideals, your faith, your morals, your retirement plans, your ideas for size of family desired, your ideas of ideal financial success level.... etc. MOST OF ALL marry the woman who makes your heart rush, that you can't stop thinking about even if you try to because you're mad at her. The one you'll forgive anything... And, people will probably complain that I'll say this, but also marry the woman you are sexually compatible with, sex drive, open or closed-mindedness, etc. Without sex it's just a very close friendship and room-mate. Physical attraction is only important for the beginning until you develop deeper feelings, but it has to be there too.

Having dated a lot in my younger years (my first marriage was at age 33), I can tell you from very personal experience, NO TWO WOMEN are the same. I've dated mostly American women, but also one from Peru, one from Spain, and a previous Pinay. All were already in the U.S. and legal status. This is the first relationship I ever had from afar and didn't intend it to ever happen, it just happened. We started out friends from a social networking site, very casual. I always liked talking to her, joking and laughing and I just always wanted to talk to her more and more. We found we had more and more and more in common and I just became more and more convinced this could really turn into something very great.

The Pinay I dated before is COMPLETELY different from my fiancee. Like cast from completely different molds. To find anything they had in common besides hair color and gender would be very difficult.

Your topic is the same as "who's married to a brunette, what do you like or what don't you like". Or, "who's married to a Pisces/ Aries/ Sagitarrius and how is that going for you" (actually that group might have more in common than the 45 MILLION or so women you just lumped together), or who's married to a woman under 5'5" and how's her cooking?

Kudos Kudos Kudos !!

[Don José 2]

... have a lot of sex B)

That's the only advice that makes sense! Tenhas um bom dia!

[Donna A 4]

will you chill out !!!!!!! I can see what he wants to know but might not have worded it the proper way since it is obvious u are a female and assume people want to attack!!!!!.............To the OP all I can say is for me personally It comes down do careing and her being family orientated !!!!!! Also with the upbringing of only one guy for there life is very encouraging for me since I do have 2 children and she is willing to accept them as gher own!!!!.....And to Donna you should be the one reported since that is baiting and u just want that attention!!! we have a saying for that over here it is called an attention ........well i wont say the rest

excuse me but u dont know me so u have no right to call me an attention ####### (am i right?) i just speak from experience and i see how these usually turn out and as you see charles already said it would be closed if it happens so he also knows what kind of threads these turn out to be so back off.