After my fiance got his k-1 visas in Nov. he went purchase a ticket using that visa to go to a different country instead of coming here to the USA

[FortLaudy 10]

I understand that you are not American, and luckily you were in the states. It's this comment that got me earlier "Seriously, what's wrong with trying to find someone HERE, get to know them WELL before getting married and avoid all this drama and suspense?" If it was a reply to the OP about looking again in a different country, then I hear ya.. otherwise it came off as condescending.

Yes, that was a reply to the OP about looking again in a different country!

But you raise a good point, in general, I don't get why people go to such extreme lengths to find a wife/husband abroad and do not first make a good hard attempt at finding a partner that is already legally here, first... so you can spend a lot of time with them before getting married, get to know their friends and family if possible, see how they live, I can carry on because there are just soo many advantages of knowing your partner well before marriage... (this is common sense btw)

Now I've heard that people look abroad for "variety", come on, non sense! there are huge international communities here in the USA, already legal ! No gambling with your life in questioning: "is she marrying me just to get to the USA and then will take off business"

You think it's condescending that I think it's best to marry someone that you've known for a while first and gotten to know well before marriage? why?

Often (not always!!!) through the K1 route this does not seem to happen... seems like just a short visit here or there and chats online and 'Bob's your uncle' they're married and shortly after the problems start - cultural differences, language barrier, age difference etc. If you get to know someone well beforehand a lot of these issues are straightened out and there aren't such extreme surprises...

Yes of course there are those times when you fall in love and "you just know it's right" but sheezz, in the case of bringing a complete stranger over on a K1, gambling with your money, happiness etc. don't you wanna be damn sure about that instead of just relying on a fleeting feeling? Why not go visit over there for a few months, or help the fiancee to come over here on a tourist visa to spend some time together first? Then she can go home, you can both see if you still feel like spending the rest of your lives together and Then apply for a fiance visa?

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

You can contact the major credit reporting agencies and ask that your account be flagged for stolen personal identifying information. It should make it more difficult for someone to open credit in your name

[Lisa and Ian 7]

He's been deceiving at all these time, now what can i do??? Serious info. only please!

(I suspect a bit of trolling, eh?)

[Gaynto 0]

Yes, that was a reply to the OP about looking again in a different country!

But you raise a good point, in general, I don't get why people go to such extreme lengths to find a wife/husband abroad and do not first make a good hard attempt at finding a partner that is already legally here, first... so you can spend a lot of time with them before getting married, get to know their friends and family if possible, see how they live, I can carry on because there are just soo many advantages of knowing your partner well before marriage... (this is common sense btw)

Now I've heard that people look abroad for "variety", come on, non sense! there are huge international communities here in the USA, already legal ! No gambling with your life in questioning: "is she marrying me just to get to the USA and then will take off business"

You think it's condescending that I think it's best to marry someone that you've known for a while first and gotten to know well before marriage? why? No.. It was the find someone here part... and like I said if it was a reply to the OPs concern for another petition.. HEAR YA.. we are on the same page with that.

Often (not always!!!) through the K1 route this does not seem to happen... seems like just a short visit here or there and chats online and 'Bob's your uncle' they're married and shortly after the problems start - cultural differences, language barrier, age difference etc. If you get to know someone well beforehand a lot of these issues are straightened out and there aren't such extreme surprises...

Yes of course there are those times when you fall in love and "you just know it's right" but sheezz, in the case of bringing a complete stranger over on a K1, gambling with your money, happiness etc. don't you wanna be damn sure about that instead of just relying on a fleeting feeling? Why not go visit over there for a few months, or help the fiancee to come over here on a tourist visa to spend some time together first? Then she can go home, you can both see if you still feel like spending the rest of your lives together and Then apply for a fiance visa?

[FortLaudy 10]

(I suspect a bit of trolling, eh?)

If so, sometimes I don't mind 'em trollers, lol... they get VJ'ers to discuss some serious issues and maybe someone reading this will learn something from all this banter!

and of course It keeps me from going insane having just finished this semester at college and waiting for an EAD and waiting for my husband to get home from work right now, sheezzz he works long hours !!

[thongd4me 69]

If so, sometimes I don't mind 'em trollers, lol... they get VJ'ers to discuss some serious issues and maybe someone reading this will learn something from all this banter!

and of course It keeps me from going insane having just finished this semester at college and waiting for an EAD and waiting for my husband to get home from work right now, sheezzz he works long hours !!

Now the question becomes, "will this thread last another 24 hours?"

What's missing is the "YouTube" of the OP on Jay Leno=>

Jay:

"When did you discover your soon to be husband was a louse?

-We'll find out after the commercial..."

[FortLaudy 10]

Now the question becomes, "will this thread last another 24 hours?"

What's missing is the "YouTube" of the OP on Jay Leno=>

Jay:

"When did you discover your soon to be husband was a louse?

-We'll find out after the commercial..."

I'm taking that commercial break,lol, going off to make some dinner !

[Gaynto 0]

Now the question becomes, "will this thread last another 24 hours?"

What's missing is the "YouTube" of the OP on Jay Leno=>

Jay:

"When did you discover your soon to be husband was a louse?

-We'll find out after the commercial..."

I'll be in Rome next week... want me to tell Massimo "what up?"

[thongd4me 69]

I'll be in Rome next week... want me to tell Massimo "what up?"

Grazi, but Massimo lives & works in the NY area.

I envy you going to Rome at Christmas

[MapleLeafBaby 1]

I read no where in the OP's posts that she paid for his airfare? Where do you guys get this? She mentioned she lost a lot of money..but it could be just in Visa fees....

We never know the full story...and many people draw conclusions and become very mean...almost gloating in someone's misfortune's...it's easy to be so mean...when you are all sitting in situations that have panned out...regardless of how well she knew this person or not...she was still a woman in love...took a leap of faith and is now devastated by the outcome...there is no handbook on how to date long distance...some people put themselves out there...maybe not as wisely as others think they should...it's still sad...people come here for help...all I ever see is innocent people being attacked...and you all seem like you thoroughly enjoy it...i'm not saying everyone has not been helpful...but the common handful always spring forward with unhelpful rubbish...it is not very inviting or comforting...It's as though some of your lives are not interesting enough that you thrive and wait for this kinda stuff....I believe in karma...and whether or not people make stupid decisions (as you are all pointing out) they don't deserve to be subjected to heckling...

A question gets asked...and they seek answers...the question was 'what recourse do I have'...the simple answer is (if she wants to notify anyone) it would be USCIS and Homeland Security. Also, good advise was to protect her credit info etc...No need to rub their faces in made up scenario's....man you guys are bulldogs...I've yet to see a purely 'clean' thread in the upper forums....i'm ashamed for you people...I never comment or get involved...but some comments are just unreal...

To the OP....I really do feel bad for you...I hope that you can move past this and life gets better.

[sjr09 155]

Chalk it up to experience...yes. Actually he can come to the USA with that visa, enter at any POE and live here the rest of his life, illegally, but somehow I do not think that matters

Maybe not illegally the rest of his life?

Confirmed- Rep. Gutierrez will introduce amnesty legislation next week!</H3>FAIR has received news that Rep. Luis Gutierrez (D-IL) will introduce his "Comprehensive Immigration Reform for America's Security and Prosperity" on Tuesday, December 15. This is it!! A plan to give amnesty to over 12 million illegal aliens is on its way.

Edited December 23, 2009 by sjr09

[5h1ne4u 0]

Thanks for all the info... I'm in my mid 30's and he's in his early 30's. I've never been cheated like this before and never knew how cruel this worldly lust people can bring to one another. I just think that people are faithful that all.

Does anyone have a help format of what my letter should look like to be sent to the USCIS? Can anyone really open a line of credit under my name and ID in another country??? Please give me more advice and info.

I don't buy his ticket, he's going to come up with that on his own and he has a brother here in the USA will support that part with or without me. Yet it's great lost for me, HIT LOTTERY FOR HIM, but he's not that talent or educated with any kind of potential so after he cross his own path he'll probably have to find another way to be a gold digger.

I want to THANK ALL OF YOU from the bottom of my heart for sharing you knowledge, experience, and expertise... Please share ALL you can! I'm waiting to hear more...

[Rito 28]

Thanks for all the info... I'm in my mid 30's and he's in his early 30's. I've never been cheated like this before and never knew how cruel this worldly lust people can bring to one another. I just think that people are faithful that all.

Does anyone have a help format of what my letter should look like to be sent to the USCIS? Can anyone really open a line of credit under my name and ID in another country??? Please give me more advice and info.

I don't buy his ticket, he's going to come up with that on his own and he has a brother here in the USA will support that part with or without me. Yet it's great lost for me, HIT LOTTERY FOR HIM, but he's not that talent or educated with any kind of potential so after he cross his own path he'll probably have to find another way to be a gold digger.

I want to THANK ALL OF YOU from the bottom of my heart for sharing you knowledge, experience, and expertise... Please share ALL you can! I'm waiting to hear more...

As someone else mentioned, if he enters the US on the K1 visa but doesn't marry you or leave within 90 days, he becomes an illegal immigrant. It's not really a ticket to a great life - if he leaves the US, he'll have trouble reentering, for one. Getting work will be hard. Really, it's as though he jumped the fence at that point.

What we don't have information on is what he's getting out of you. Is the money you described as lost in the visa fees? It just seems unlikely that he'd go to all the trouble to become engaged and file for a K1 for one entry, in order to become an illegal immigrant in America. What is he gaining? Certainly not your money. The visa fees are lost, but he'd have no access to any more. He can't open a line of credit under your name, and he has no access to your bank account unless you gave it to him.

[Boiler 45,403]

As someone else mentioned, if he enters the US on the K1 visa but doesn't marry you or leave within 90 days, he becomes an illegal immigrant. It's not really a ticket to a great life - if he leaves the US, he'll have trouble reentering, for one. Getting work will be hard. Really, it's as though he jumped the fence at that point.

What we don't have information on is what he's getting out of you. Is the money you described as lost in the visa fees? It just seems unlikely that he'd go to all the trouble to become engaged and file for a K1 for one entry, in order to become an illegal immigrant in America. What is he gaining? Certainly not your money. The visa fees are lost, but he'd have no access to any more. He can't open a line of credit under your name, and he has no access to your bank account unless you gave it to him.

I still think the most likely situation based on the information given was that he was looking for a one way ticket to join his brother.

Most unlikely he would get one any other way so his option would be walking in from Mexico.

As others have said, amnesty is in the air, but as 6% or so of the US population is in the same boat it is not exactly unusual or perceived to be that bad a life.

Everything is relative.

I am not so concerned about the identity fraud, always a good idea to keep track of this.

[5h1ne4u 0]

Money I've lost is money I spent here and there when i was with him and visa $$$. I discover that he was mis leding me when I talk with the Immigration officer in mid Nov. that the Passport and visa was handed to him in the begining of Nov. ON NOVEMBER HE TOLD ME HE JUST GOT THE VISA... that's how i know he was a deceiver. The actual visits to the embassy is only 3 but what he told me is li 7-8 times.

What I heard from his friend is that he told them he's got a scholarship to go to USA schools... They didn't know he's coming to marry me!