Starting our VJ

[mox 298]

Welcome and good luck on your journey! One piece of advice, take it or leave it, I suggest not spending much time on Igor's list or the case status forums, comparing your timeline to others. Comparisons can lead to frustration and envy. Just get an approximate idea of your waiting time and know that it frequently can vary by 2 or 3 months. Be confident she will have the visa because it is your intention. Stay positive.

This forum has been a great place for me to hang out during the long wait.

I second this, from personal experience. If I had it to do all over again, I'd have stayed the hell out of the K1 forums. I got completely caught up in the "zomg only 3 approvals this week!!!!!" drama, and all it did was increase my anxiety level. As Steve said, get a general idea, add 2 months for good measure, and then be pleasantly surprised when your approval shows up earlier.

[Martyshk 137]

Welcome and good luck on your journey! One piece of advice, take it or leave it, I suggest not spending much time on Igor's list or the case status forums, comparing your timeline to others. Comparisons can lead to frustration and envy. Just get an approximate idea of your waiting time and know that it frequently can vary by 2 or 3 months. Be confident she will have the visa because it is your intention. Stay positive.

This forum has been a great place for me to hang out during the long wait.

I second this, from personal experience. If I had it to do all over again, I'd have stayed the hell out of the K1 forums. I got completely caught up in the "zomg only 3 approvals this week!!!!!" drama, and all it did was increase my anxiety level. As Steve said, get a general idea, add 2 months for good measure, and then be pleasantly surprised when your approval shows up earlier.

Yeah, we pretty much ballparked it at 9 months and we are going from there

[mox 298]

and lots of yahoo and real phone calls. to prove you are still committed

lots of proof.

Don't worry about "lots" of proof. They're looking for you to establish the term of the relationship, not a running serial diary of your relationship. A few samples of emails sent/received over the months, some phone bills showing SMS's sent/received, a few chat logs, a few samples of postal correspondence, and that's really all you need. Don't send your fiancee to Moscow with a set of the Encyclopedia Relationshipia. If your evidence (minus photos) is more than 1/4 inch thick, you're going overboard. And speaking of photos, making an album of each and every photo you've ever taken together is also unnecessary and completely overboard. I'd say 10-12 photos max, and don't put them in a bulky album. Remember that she's gotta lug everything you send to Moscow with her, and then hang on to it for what could be hours while she waits. My wife talked to a woman carrying a printer paper box full of documents and photos for their K1. That's just ridiculous.

[1HappyGuy 45]

If you are like most here, you probably have plenty of documentation of meeting and an ongoing relationship. That probably won't be a problem. As MOX said, you have to learn patience. So, don't check your status online two or three times a day. They don't update that often anyway.

If you aren't a patient person, then my advice is to drink heavily. Just kidding.

Actually the best thing is to start getting prepared for her arrival. You will be surprise how much you need to get prepared, like cleaning your home and/or painting inside. You might as well start throwing out those old t-shirts, etc. that you think you will wear again because she'll dump them in short order. You might start looking for stores that carry Russian/Ukrainian goods that aren't too far from your home. The familiar products will make her feel more at home.

See if you have any Russian speaking couples in your town that might be interested in meeting in the future. That can be tricky sometimes, but also quite beneficial. Just something to think about, but no rush.

Check out your options for a wedding this summer as far as availability on short notice, costs, etc. Start with the county offices and go up from there. You will have to prepare a budget first.

And finally, relax. Everyone here has either been through it or is going through the torture now. It gets better, but not for a while. So, keep busy.

[Martyshk 137]

If you are like most here, you probably have plenty of documentation of meeting and an ongoing relationship. That probably won't be a problem. As MOX said, you have to learn patience. So, don't check your status online two or three times a day. They don't update that often anyway.

If you aren't a patient person, then my advice is to drink heavily. Just kidding.

Actually the best thing is to start getting prepared for her arrival. You will be surprise how much you need to get prepared, like cleaning your home and/or painting inside. You might as well start throwing out those old t-shirts, etc. that you think you will wear again because she'll dump them in short order. You might start looking for stores that carry Russian/Ukrainian goods that aren't too far from your home. The familiar products will make her feel more at home.

See if you have any Russian speaking couples in your town that might be interested in meeting in the future. That can be tricky sometimes, but also quite beneficial. Just something to think about, but no rush.

Check out your options for a wedding this summer as far as availability on short notice, costs, etc. Start with the county offices and go up from there. You will have to prepare a budget first.

And finally, relax. Everyone here has either been through it or is going through the torture now. It gets better, but not for a while. So, keep busy.

Hehe. Well, there's an abundance of Russian stores in Philly. I am Russian myself, so I'm quite familiar with their locations and what they sell.

I am not so much an obsessive-compulsive person to check the status 3 times a day, but this ordeal has changed me Once I get the NOA1 I'll calm down. She comes here when she comes here.

Also, drinking heavily is not quite an option since for me it will get quite costly with the tolerance having built up over the years :-P

As far as the evidence. We do have a decent amount. I did not send all of that with the K-1 petition, but I will bring some excerpts to her interview in Kiev (whenever that happens).

[mox 298]

I am not so much an obsessive-compulsive person to check the status 3 times a day, but this ordeal has changed me Once I get the NOA1 I'll calm down. She comes here when she comes here.

Hehe, if you think you've changed now, wait until a couple months after NOA2. Fortunately it's temporary, and once you're finally together, all that anxiety will just melt off.

[Jonathan Matthies 1]

I checked the USCIS website 2-3 time a day for the entire duration of that wait; despite knowing the general length of the process. Furthermore, I received the packet in the mail before the website was ever updated. So all that website did was add to my neurosis.

The time after NOA2 has been a blur. Once NOA2 arrived it went from "she'll be approved sometime in the next few weeks or months, I can clean the house whenever" to "oh ####### she will be here in under 2 months, can I burn down the house and start over?".

Enjoy your time here, it really does go quicker than you think. It feels like last week that I went to Russia to visit Katya, but it's been 7 months. Freaking crazy how time flies.

[SMR 368]

If you are like most here, you probably have plenty of documentation of meeting and an ongoing relationship. That probably won't be a problem. As MOX said, you have to learn patience. So, don't check your status online two or three times a day. They don't update that often anyway.

If you aren't a patient person, then my advice is to drink heavily. Just kidding.

Actually the best thing is to start getting prepared for her arrival. You will be surprise how much you need to get prepared, like cleaning your home and/or painting inside. You might as well start throwing out those old t-shirts, etc. that you think you will wear again because she'll dump them in short order. You might start looking for stores that carry Russian/Ukrainian goods that aren't too far from your home. The familiar products will make her feel more at home.

See if you have any Russian speaking couples in your town that might be interested in meeting in the future. That can be tricky sometimes, but also quite beneficial. Just something to think about, but no rush.

Check out your options for a wedding this summer as far as availability on short notice, costs, etc. Start with the county offices and go up from there. You will have to prepare a budget first.

And finally, relax. Everyone here has either been through it or is going through the torture now. It gets better, but not for a while. So, keep busy.

The part about the t-shirts is so true. I don't throw t-shirts away. What's wrong with that?

[Steve S 2]

Ha! We could have a recovery support group. "Hi, menja zavut Steve and I'm a recovering USCIS obsessive-compulsive!" I wasted all that time keeping track of all the latest minutiae about progress at the Vermont Service Center. The suggestions of touching up paint in my house or even drinking heavily both arguably would have been better uses of my time.

Sounds like OP is on the right track with healthy attitude, and the relationship evidence sounds fine so far.

[clueless_in_usa 8]

If you are like most here, you probably have plenty of documentation of meeting and an ongoing relationship. That probably won't be a problem. As MOX said, you have to learn patience. So, don't check your status online two or three times a day. They don't update that often anyway.

If you aren't a patient person, then my advice is to drink heavily. Just kidding.

Actually the best thing is to start getting prepared for her arrival. You will be surprise how much you need to get prepared, like cleaning your home and/or painting inside. You might as well start throwing out those old t-shirts, etc. that you think you will wear again because she'll dump them in short order. You might start looking for stores that carry Russian/Ukrainian goods that aren't too far from your home. The familiar products will make her feel more at home.

See if you have any Russian speaking couples in your town that might be interested in meeting in the future. That can be tricky sometimes, but also quite beneficial. Just something to think about, but no rush.

Check out your options for a wedding this summer as far as availability on short notice, costs, etc. Start with the county offices and go up from there. You will have to prepare a budget first.

And finally, relax. Everyone here has either been through it or is going through the torture now. It gets better, but not for a while. So, keep busy.

Are people here familiar with Myers-Briggs?

I cannot believe how much "J" people here are. I feel like I do not belong, because I am such a "P". In essence, the OP has not even received NOA1 and he is being told to start "planning" the wedding ... I literally planned my wedding two weeks before it happened (and two weeks because most of the second week was a holiday). And no mention about how much time before her arrival I decided to clean and prepare everything at home.

Relax! Life is a "Journey!"

Why not start preparing for AOS already? It will happen right after you get married

... which reminds me, what do I have to do for AOS? (I just got married a few days ago). Oh! We have to start by going to a photo studio to get Passport photos ... and I have to order new tax transcripts because the consulate kept the previous ones (making copies would have saved the hassle, but what did I know at the time?) -> I guess that it pays to be a "J" ... but it is more fun to be a "P"

[mox 298]

Well, my only advice was to be patient, but wedding planning is really going to boil down to what the couple is planning. If it's just a trip to the JP, then hell, plan it on day 87 of the visa. But if you're going to have something bigger with family and photographers and all that crud, then you're going to want to start planning even before filing. Most people are going to be somewhere in between.

[Martyshk 137]

Well, my only advice was to be patient, but wedding planning is really going to boil down to what the couple is planning. If it's just a trip to the JP, then hell, plan it on day 87 of the visa. But if you're going to have something bigger with family and photographers and all that crud, then you're going to want to start planning even before filing. Most people are going to be somewhere in between.

It's going to be a city hall ceremony for us as soon as she arrives (we do have a date in mind, but who know if she'll be here by June).

The wedding for the family might take place many months after that, considering we have to gather people from all over the globe.

And yeah, I'm not going to plan anything till we have the visa in hand.

Oh, and Clueless - I am ISFP, hehe, at least I was the last time I took it a year ago

[slim 1,514]

I cannot believe how much "J" people here are. I feel like I do not belong, because I am such a "P".

I've heard of it but never taken the time to self-diagnose. Care to clue me in on which one I am?

QUOTE (Март

@ Dec 10 2009, 12:34 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Just crossing fingers that all of that is enough.

You two are the same age and she's showing you positive body language in your photos. Proof/shmoof - you're good to go!

Edited December 11, 2009 by slim

[Martyshk 137]

You two are the same age and she's showing you positive body language in your photos. Proof/shmoof - you're good to go!

Funny thing is, Slim.... we aren't just the same age... we are two days apart...

[clueless_in_usa 8]

I've heard of it but never taken the time to self-diagnose. Care to clue me in on which one I am?

I think that nobody can tell you, unless you take the test.

QUOTE (Март

@ Dec 10 2009, 07:18 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Oh, and Clueless - I am ISFP, hehe, at least I was the last time I took it a year ago

I was told that I am INTP ... but I have changed a little, so I am less of a "P" now