Met my love, wanting to move to the US.. not sure where to begin..

[MariaElizabeth 0]

Wow, the responses I have received from posting has left me a bit shocked. I really respect and value each of your opinions and advice. This is my first experience at this, and it has been extremely hard.

My boyfriend and I have definitely talked about marriage, the fiance visa, and basically whatever it takes to be together. We have recently decided that I will just come for the three months, since I do not need a visa to do so, and we will try it out together; living together, learning more about each other. I will stay here in Canada for a couple more months in order to get some things situated, finances and whatnot, and then hopefully purchase a ticket early next year and head down.

On another note, I have never felt so alone in my entire life. As I mentioned before, my family doesn't support me at all. My mother has gone as far as saying I'm not welcome back home, she has taken me out of her will, and even has done a criminal record check on him (or so she says.) This is simply unbelievable. I have never seen my mother act the way she has, and it has taken me back a little bit. My friends have told me to give it time, that she will eventually realize how happy he makes me and she'll get over it. I've listened to her worries, and have had civil conversations with her stating my plans, but she is constantly trying to search for something to end all of this. I have not mentioned before, but I am a law enforcement applicant here in Canada, and I am moving along slowly but steadily in the process. I have been in the process for a couple years, and it has been a dream of mine for as long as I can remember. My mother believes I am throwing my life away. This is coming from a mother who was single, independent, educated, and learned to do everything on her own without a man in her life. She has always raised me to be independent, and strong and to never depend on a man, and I this entire process upsets her that I could have possibly found my soulmate and would be throwing away my career goals.(To her, that would sound ridiculous.)

I have tried explaining to my mother that I am only going down to try it out for three months. No fiance visa, no marriage (although I can't promise what will happen in those three months if things go amazingly well), but in the meantime, I want to re-assure her that I am going on a trial basis. My mother has been very hateful towards my boyfriend, and it's been tearing my family and I apart. I am drained mentally, emotionally, physically... and at this point, I am sure she would stop at nothing to cloud my judgement and change my decisions about going down.

Bottom line, I need to follow my heart. Whether or not I make a mistake, at least I would have taken the risk and learned from it. Isn't that what life is all about? Expereince... living and learning. I have never felt this way in my entire life, and for once I am gonig with it.

Also, to answer a question about my boyfriend coming to visit. He has EVERY intention to come visit but with all the chaos that has been happening with my family and I, he is now a bit scared to come up here. His plan was to come this month and visit, but then things went crazy and I am not entirely sure how my mom would react. We've discussed it, and we both agree that it's a good idea.. and yes, he DOES want to come visit my family, see how great of a person he is, the man that I am in love with.. but things are a bit tough right now and I guess we'll just have to give it some time.

Thank you again, to all who responded to my post. I know this is quite the read and I appreciate your comments; negative or positive. And good luck to the rest of you who find yourself in a situation like mine! Long distance relationsihps ARE hard.. but if it's meant to be, it will be!

Regards,

Meeah

If you can find some answer from my story that's how it is...

I first talked to my boyfriend online, on myspace that was 2 years ago...we've been together as a couple for a year and a half and i'm from Spain...he has been twice there and i've been three times in the states for 3 months each time and this last 2 months. Now we'll be starting with the fiance visa after my departure in january and i can tell you mostly my mum hasn't been supportive even sent him an email saying that she would like us to break up because she didn't want see her family broken...but after all she's the one going to USA to met his parents this xtmas...

All i mean is that family needs the time because is a change for you and him and is a change for both families as well and mostly one of the families.

I can tell you that we talked about the fiance visa after 4 months being together but we decided that if we wanna get married we should know more each other and the families and know how it is living together because we just don't want a divorce. Has been hard and will be the waiting time like everybody but is going to worth it for sure.

You being canadian (as i got a friend that is married with an american and she's from Toronto) got more time to stay in the states (6 months) than someone from Europe. I don't know if you got the budget to do that and how is your work/study situation but why don't you try to stay that months living together? or if u wanna study something apply first for an students visa? or if your work got another office or related in USA transfer you there?

If not yeh, we thought as well the fiance visa is one of the best. Just take the time and let your family take the time but if you're 150% sure then quit the torcher and go ahead with it! after all is up to you guys and over all it has to be for the LOVE.

Best wishes! Pz

[Justine+David 218]

Just wanted to wish you luck in your journey wherever it takes you and hope your family comes around

Do you intend to give up on your career in the U.S. as well? I mean, we do have law enforcement folks If not, maybe that would help out her feelings.

I got lucky with only the standard minor beating, "OMG!! What if he's just after a green card?!" freak out (from a low-fraud country no less!). The fact that I met my fiance at a Harry Potter convention doesn't faze them because I'm always going off and doing my own thing and they know I know how to take care of myself (although this didn't apply to immigration, funnily enough).

[MariaElizabeth 0]

No. If at all possible I would love to continue the law enforcement process when I relocate to the United States; especially if I make the decision to live there permanently.

Thanks for the support!

Meeah

Just wanted to wish you luck in your journey wherever it takes you and hope your family comes around

Do you intend to give up on your career in the U.S. as well? I mean, we do have law enforcement folks If not, maybe that would help out her feelings.

I got lucky with only the standard minor beating, "OMG!! What if he's just after a green card?!" freak out (from a low-fraud country no less!). The fact that I met my fiance at a Harry Potter convention doesn't faze them because I'm always going off and doing my own thing and they know I know how to take care of myself (although this didn't apply to immigration, funnily enough).

[BabyBelle 0]

Hello everybody.. I just wanted to introduce myself and share a little bit of my story.

I am a Canadian citizen and met my boyfriend online. We recently met after talking for three months everyday, and when I say recent, I mean I just returned home last night.. lol.

My boyfriend is a United States citizen and currentlly resides in the state of Alabama. When we met online there was definitely an instant connection there. After the months went by, we decided to meet in person and give it a shot. Well, it was love at first site and we have had some very serious discussions about what our future plans are. I met his entire famly, his friends, and everybody wants me to be a part of the family. I thought things were going so perfect, until my side of the family had their input. Basically, my family doesn't support my decision, they are judgemental and think I am throwing my life away on "some guy I met on the Internet." I am very determined to follow my heart because it feels right, but I also want the love and support from my family. Nevertheless, him and I have decided we are going to do what it takes to be together.

Now onto the next steps.. which is where I am lost. I know I have to apply for a visa. As far as choosing the visa I need, I have no idea where to begin. I am pretty sure I need proof that I have a job to go to, but I thought that there is a way I would be able to move down and look for employment when I arrived?

My boyfriend and I have also talked about the Fiance visa.. and, if the work visa doesn't fall through we are both fully prepared to apply for the Fiance visa in order for me to move down there.

Bottom line, I'm lost, I'm confused.. this is a first for me and when I stumbled across this site I felt relieved. I am sure there are some of you out there who have gone through or are going through a similar situation. Any information that any of you would like to share would be great, and also any advice about the visas and steps I need to take in order for me to get down to the United States would be greatly appreciated as well.

Thanks!

Meeah

[BabyBelle 0]

Hi Meeah,

Today, I began researching this process and I came across your post. We have an amazingly similar situation. My Canadian boyfriend and I met in May ’09 while he was working here in North Alabama. He has since been back (Aug ’09) for 6 days to visit and I visited him for 10 days in October. We haven’t started making any plans for the future but we have talked about wanting a life together. My children are grown but he has two school-age children in Ontario – I am nine years older than him. For that reason, it is probably more likely that I would move there but we both prefer to live here. Being from sunny Alabama, I’m not sure I could survive the winters. I will be following your posts since it will quite possibly help me as well.

Thanks for sharing your story.

Belle in Alabama :-)

Wow, the responses I have received from posting has left me a bit shocked. I really respect and value each of your opinions and advice. This is my first experience at this, and it has been extremely hard.

My boyfriend and I have definitely talked about marriage, the fiance visa, and basically whatever it takes to be together. We have recently decided that I will just come for the three months, since I do not need a visa to do so, and we will try it out together; living together, learning more about each other. I will stay here in Canada for a couple more months in order to get some things situated, finances and whatnot, and then hopefully purchase a ticket early next year and head down.

On another note, I have never felt so alone in my entire life. As I mentioned before, my family doesn't support me at all. My mother has gone as far as saying I'm not welcome back home, she has taken me out of her will, and even has done a criminal record check on him (or so she says.) This is simply unbelievable. I have never seen my mother act the way she has, and it has taken me back a little bit. My friends have told me to give it time, that she will eventually realize how happy he makes me and she'll get over it. I've listened to her worries, and have had civil conversations with her stating my plans, but she is constantly trying to search for something to end all of this. I have not mentioned before, but I am a law enforcement applicant here in Canada, and I am moving along slowly but steadily in the process. I have been in the process for a couple years, and it has been a dream of mine for as long as I can remember. My mother believes I am throwing my life away. This is coming from a mother who was single, independent, educated, and learned to do everything on her own without a man in her life. She has always raised me to be independent, and strong and to never depend on a man, and I this entire process upsets her that I could have possibly found my soulmate and would be throwing away my career goals.(To her, that would sound ridiculous.)

I have tried explaining to my mother that I am only going down to try it out for three months. No fiance visa, no marriage (although I can't promise what will happen in those three months if things go amazingly well), but in the meantime, I want to re-assure her that I am going on a trial basis. My mother has been very hateful towards my boyfriend, and it's been tearing my family and I apart. I am drained mentally, emotionally, physically... and at this point, I am sure she would stop at nothing to cloud my judgement and change my decisions about going down.

Bottom line, I need to follow my heart. Whether or not I make a mistake, at least I would have taken the risk and learned from it. Isn't that what life is all about? Expereince... living and learning. I have never felt this way in my entire life, and for once I am gonig with it.

Also, to answer a question about my boyfriend coming to visit. He has EVERY intention to come visit but with all the chaos that has been happening with my family and I, he is now a bit scared to come up here. His plan was to come this month and visit, but then things went crazy and I am not entirely sure how my mom would react. We've discussed it, and we both agree that it's a good idea.. and yes, he DOES want to come visit my family, see how great of a person he is, the man that I am in love with.. but things are a bit tough right now and I guess we'll just have to give it some time.

Thank you again, to all who responded to my post. I know this is quite the read and I appreciate your comments; negative or positive. And good luck to the rest of you who find yourself in a situation like mine! Long distance relationsihps ARE hard.. but if it's meant to be, it will be!

Regards,

Meeah

If you can find some answer from my story that's how it is...

I first talked to my boyfriend online, on myspace that was 2 years ago...we've been together as a couple for a year and a half and i'm from Spain...he has been twice there and i've been three times in the states for 3 months each time and this last 2 months. Now we'll be starting with the fiance visa after my departure in january and i can tell you mostly my mum hasn't been supportive even sent him an email saying that she would like us to break up because she didn't want see her family broken...but after all she's the one going to USA to met his parents this xtmas...

All i mean is that family needs the time because is a change for you and him and is a change for both families as well and mostly one of the families.

I can tell you that we talked about the fiance visa after 4 months being together but we decided that if we wanna get married we should know more each other and the families and know how it is living together because we just don't want a divorce. Has been hard and will be the waiting time like everybody but is going to worth it for sure.

You being canadian (as i got a friend that is married with an american and she's from Toronto) got more time to stay in the states (6 months) than someone from Europe. I don't know if you got the budget to do that and how is your work/study situation but why don't you try to stay that months living together? or if u wanna study something apply first for an students visa? or if your work got another office or related in USA transfer you there?

If not yeh, we thought as well the fiance visa is one of the best. Just take the time and let your family take the time but if you're 150% sure then quit the torcher and go ahead with it! after all is up to you guys and over all it has to be for the LOVE.

Best wishes! Pz

[Siren66 0]

Hello everybody.. I just wanted to introduce myself and share a little bit of my story.

I am a Canadian citizen and met my boyfriend online. We recently met after talking for three months everyday, and when I say recent, I mean I just returned home last night.. lol.

My boyfriend is a United States citizen and currentlly resides in the state of Alabama. When we met online there was definitely an instant connection there. After the months went by, we decided to meet in person and give it a shot. Well, it was love at first site and we have had some very serious discussions about what our future plans are. I met his entire famly, his friends, and everybody wants me to be a part of the family. I thought things were going so perfect, until my side of the family had their input. Basically, my family doesn't support my decision, they are judgemental and think I am throwing my life away on "some guy I met on the Internet." I am very determined to follow my heart because it feels right, but I also want the love and support from my family. Nevertheless, him and I have decided we are going to do what it takes to be together.

Now onto the next steps.. which is where I am lost. I know I have to apply for a visa. As far as choosing the visa I need, I have no idea where to begin. I am pretty sure I need proof that I have a job to go to, but I thought that there is a way I would be able to move down and look for employment when I arrived?

My boyfriend and I have also talked about the Fiance visa.. and, if the work visa doesn't fall through we are both fully prepared to apply for the Fiance visa in order for me to move down there.

Bottom line, I'm lost, I'm confused.. this is a first for me and when I stumbled across this site I felt relieved. I am sure there are some of you out there who have gone through or are going through a similar situation. Any information that any of you would like to share would be great, and also any advice about the visas and steps I need to take in order for me to get down to the United States would be greatly appreciated as well.

Thanks!

Meeah

Wow your story sounds a lot like ours! My mom said to me, "I don't cae how much you think you are in love with him, you must break up with him- he is not God's choice for you." This was because his myspace said he is "agnostic" and because he is 9 years younger than me.

Fast forward 2 years later. My parents ADORE Sean and can not wait for us to be married!

It will work out once your family sees how happy he makes you and vise versa.

Sean's mom was against him moving here to the US. When I was in Canada last weekend, she finally said she "has made her peace" with him moving because she sees how happy I make him!

Your family just wants you to be happy.

So take your time, visit frequently, and only tell them the good stuff (sometimes we tend to complain about our men and that's all they remember . . .).

Good luck!

Oh and the work Visa thing is a stretch, so the Fiance Visa is your best bet.

Come visit us over in the Canadian Regional Forums!

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.php?showforum=93

Oh my gosh!! This is very familiar to my tale as well ...I am a Canadian woman that met my love online almost 8 months ago now. He has been here with me for 4 months and we are busy making all manner of plans (including wedding!). My friends and family are supportive as are his so we are lucky there. We had a lot of trials and tribulations even getting him over the border to get him here (for no apparent reason...former marine, no criminal record etc) but once he got here...YAY! Everything was better than we thought it would be. And still is. So yes we have also been researching what is the best and easiest way to go about getting me into the States.

I understand what you are saying about the time line and I think some people are not realizing what you are getting at. One person said something like maybe you need to evaluate the seriousness of the relationship if you are not willing to wait 6-8 months or something like that. But I know what you mean. The idea of that long not being able to see him after living with him for 4 months seems UNBEARABLE. But in the end if I must do it...I WILL. But I will not be happy about it. But if it is the only way for us to be together for the long term....hell yeah I would do it. Rock on girl and you hang in there!! MSG me anytime you like and we will commiserate as we are in the same-ish boat!