My beautiful wife is very irresponsible

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

I currently send money to my in-laws twice a month. I don't have a problem sending the money but the thing is that none of them work. My wife's father used to work but hasn't for years because he has a heart condition (had operations and still has problems). He states that he is unable to find a job because no one will hire him because he is a risk to have working for them. He is in his 50's and could he do physical labor... no, but he could have a desk job and he does have a college degree from the Philippines. Is it true that there is no way for him to get a job because he is a health risk? Her mother doesn't work but used to clean laundry. They have recently moved and now my wife states that she cannot do this here because there is too much competition and could not get customers. Like I said I don't mind helping out but it would be better if they worked then I wouldn't have to send so much money. Thoughts?

It is hard for anyone that old to get a job in the Philippines, and as long as they have relatives (you) living in America, they have no incentive to do so. You have several options:

1. Ignore the situation, hope it will go away, and go on with your life together.
   
2. Send them an allowance every month.
   
3. Have you wife get a job, and she can support them out of what she makes.
   
4. Tell them to hold tight, and bring them to America after your wife become a citizen in about three years. They can probably get a job at Walmart. College degrees from the Philippines are pretty much worthless, since 70-80% of Filipinos have college degrees, and work menial jobs.
   
5. Turn all your assets into cash, and move to the Philippines.
   
6. Cut your losses, and divorce now.
   

Edited March 8, 2011 by Some Old Guy

[redtux89 0]

It is hard for anyone that old to get a job in the Philippines, and as long as they have relatives (you) living in America, they have no incentive to do so. You have several options:

1. Ignore the situation, hope it will go away, and go on with your life together.
   
2. Send them an allowance every month.
   
3. Have you wife get a job, and she can support them out of what she makes.
   
4. Tell them to hold tight, and bring them to America after your wife become a citizen in about three years. They can probably get a job at Walmart. College degrees from the Philippines are pretty much worthless, since 70-80% of Filipinos have college degrees, and work menial jobs.
   
5. Turn all your assets into cash, and move to the Philippines.
   
6. Cut your losses, and divorce now.
   

I don't want to divorce her and like I said I don't have a problem supporting them but I want them to earn something. I love my wife and she is the best thing that has ever happened to me. How difficult is it to bring them to the U.S.? Does my wife have to be a citizen for them to come here?

[Anh map 2,098]

I don't want to divorce her and like I said I don't have a problem supporting them but I want them to earn something. I love my wife and she is the best thing that has ever happened to me. How difficult is it to bring them to the U.S.? Does my wife have to be a citizen for them to come here?

Correct, she can petition for them after becoming a citizen. You cannot petition for them (no in-law visa exists). See the Bringing Relatives forums here on VJ to get an overview of the process.

[sachinky 465]

You think things are bad now? Wait till they get to the US.

[Scott and Mhay 57]

Wow Sachinky...been awhile since I have seen your posts on here!

[Richie Rich 70]

<!--quoteo(post=3494860:date=Nov 16 2009, 04:03 PM:name=jsnearline)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (jsnearline @ Nov 16 2009, 04:03 PM) <a href="index.php?act=findpost&pid=3494860"><{POST_SNAPBACK}></a></div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->Did she have any of these bad habits before she got here or did she only get this way afterwards?<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->

This was all a shock to me, she wasn't like this in the Philippines. I guess she is living the dream of coming to the land of milk and honey <img src="http://www.visajourney.com/forums/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tongue.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="" border="0" alt="tongue.gif" /> I have been trying to teach her to be responsible but haven't had much success.

Maybe she needs a reality check . Give her a long vacation back home and let her ''clear her head ''. She is taking things for granted that american men are ''rich ''and dont care .Wish you luck .

[redtux89 0]

You think things are bad now? Wait till they get to the US.

Trust me I have thought about that too. It might be worse for me and my wife if they are here if they still decide not to work. Anybody have any great experiences when they brought their in-laws to the U.S.?

[Deputy Purple 1,294]

Trust me I have thought about that too. It might be worse for me and my wife if they are here if they still decide not to work. Anybody have any great experiences when they brought their in-laws to the U.S.?

You do realize that it's pretty much a moot point as it would take like 20 years, right?

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

You do realize that it's pretty much a moot point as it would take like 20 years, right?

Why? Once she becomes a USC, her parents jump to the front of the line.

Edited March 8, 2011 by Some Old Guy

[Deputy Purple 1,294]

Why? Once she becomes a USC, her parents jump to the front of the line.

Parents do but not the siblings!

[sachinky 465]

Wow Sachinky...been awhile since I have seen your posts on here!

Hey, hope it's going well with you guys!

[brian and aileen 14]

all i can say is that there are people who came from poverty and once they got a good life they forgot where they came from, i pity those kind of people....

[Zen Den 18]

I currently send money to my in-laws twice a month. I don't have a problem sending the money but the thing is that none of them work. My wife's father used to work but hasn't for years because he has a heart condition (had operations and still has problems). He states that he is unable to find a job because no one will hire him because he is a risk to have working for them. He is in his 50's and could he do physical labor... no, but he could have a desk job and he does have a college degree from the Philippines. Is it true that there is no way for him to get a job because he is a health risk? Her mother doesn't work but used to clean laundry. They have recently moved and now my wife states that she cannot do this here because there is too much competition and could not get customers. Like I said I don't mind helping out but it would be better if they worked then I wouldn't have to send so much money. Thoughts?

Stop giving them fish, teach them how to fish, otherwise they'd get used to receiving money from you. Think about it, didn't they survive before you came into their lives?

And for all other guys who have the same kind of wife, you're the only one who can stop the insanity. if you don't tell her what's wrong, she'll think everything she's doing is absoulutely ok with you.

[Pinkranger 0]

send her back to the philippines for a vacation then cancel the return ticket, her credit cards and your phone subscriptions. just kidding

[thelastpetitioner 218]

send her back to the philippines for a vacation then cancel the return ticket, her credit cards and your phone subscriptions. just kidding

dont tempt him