Husband Called Cops on me

[Minya's wife 24]

You brought him here on a IR/CR-1 visa...If they issued him said visa, I assume USCIS examined and verified that your marriage was legal according to both US and Nigerian standards. I'm not sure how you can now claim that the marriage wasn't even legal at all. Maybe a divorce would be a better option? Take care of you.

[Enlighten one :) 5]

I am not sure how this got passed immigrations.

What would a US court say about a document that does not have my legal name in an attempt to get a divorce? This is why I brought this up in the forum just for some ideas. I want to use it just as another proof at his attempt to defraud the Gov.

I have no idea just things I am pondering in light of my information I have gathered.

You brought him here on a IR/CR-1 visa...If they issued him said visa, I assume USCIS examined and verified that your marriage was legal according to both US and Nigerian standards. I'm not sure how you can now claim that the marriage wasn't even legal at all. Maybe a divorce would be a better option? Take care of you.

[Minya's wife 24]

I am not sure how this got passed immigrations.

What would a US court say about a document that does not have my legal name in an attempt to get a divorce? This is why I brought this up in the forum just for some ideas. I want to use it just as another proof at his attempt to defraud the Gov.

I have no idea just things I am pondering in light of my information I have gathered.

From what I see, the name posted on the marriage certificate does not differ much from your real name....the name listed on your certificate is a pretty common nickname for your name. I don't think a divorce court will quibble in granting you a divorce because your first name is listed as a nickname instead of the full name'. The US consulate had no issues with the name when they verified the documents and approved them to issue the visa....I doubt your state's divorce court will either.

Your husband didn't as much defraud the government as he defrauded you. Gather the evidence you feel demonstrates said fraud, call ICE and send them said evidence. As for the I-864...that contract you're still responsible for, and that will stand until your husband either naturalizes, reaches 40 qualifying quarters of work, leaves the US or dies.

[Deputy Purple 1,294]

Look into getting the marriage annulled based on your belief that it was a sham from the start.

If you can get it annulled then it may invalidate is legal standing as the basis for the Visa was a marriage that officially never existed.

Search Vj for discussions on the impact of an annullment on marriage based visa/greencard.

[LOLAs 1]

Hmn, i hope you get through this very well and you sound like you are in control. Just a few point of correction, if he can afford to cater for you in Nigeria like you have described above it implies that he probably can leave comfortably in Nigeria and probably not intend to come here and work as a CNA. But it is your relationship and you knew what happens their. It is just unfortunate that we hear stories like this and people are quick to say the Nigerian spouse is a scam, we never get to know the other person's story.

A lot of women think if they marry a foreign spouse they can order them about and control them because of green card. A lot of time it turns ugly because American culture gives a lot of good liberty to women some of which they abuse. With a foreign spouse it will be uglier because the culture are different. If he can pay your rent in the US he sure must be comfortable in Nigeria, it is 150 naira to a dollar today and it has always been arround 120 t0 130 naira to a dollar two years ago. Money seems not to be the motif here and I wouldn't think green card is the motif if he is working as a CNA. if that has been his motif then shame on him for coming to America to clean other peoples pups when he can live a good life in Nigeria. I always wonder if people will say their hubby scam them if they are USCs, but if it is an immigrant spouse then it is automatically a scam and they want to get them deported just to get back at them. If they had been USC what would they have done? Kill them or get them fired? There is always two side to a story, let us all exercise control before judging anyone.

The fact that someone is a Nigerian doesn't mean that they are scams, I am a proud Nigerian American and so are many others who lives in this country faithfully and work hard to make it great. The fact that a marriage did not work out does not mean that the immigrant spouse sets out to scam you, a lot of marriages do not work out, when yours fail don't turn arround and say that it was because your spouse did it for immigration purposes.

@Enligthten one, report him to whatever agency but be sure you are faithful about what truly transpires and not jump to conclusion. Goodluck to you.

If he truly is a scam, it is people like him that makes it difficult for real people to get their visa and the lord will punish him severely for that. Which church is he working for? If he is with the redeem christian church, CAC, or TAC you can write their church head and report him. They have a disciplinary committee and I do not think that they will accept this. I am concerned about where he gets all the money that he spent on you, if he doesn't have a good life in Nigeria.

[LOLAs 1]

I am not sure how this got passed immigrations.

What would a US court say about a document that does not have my legal name in an attempt to get a divorce? This is why I brought this up in the forum just for some ideas. I want to use it just as another proof at his attempt to defraud the Gov.

I have no idea just things I am pondering in light of my information I have gathered.

You brought him here on a IR/CR-1 visa...If they issued him said visa, I assume USCIS examined and verified that your marriage was legal according to both US and Nigerian standards. I'm not sure how you can now claim that the marriage wasn't even legal at all. Maybe a divorce would be a better option? Take care of you.

the embassy must have done a shody job, a tribal marriage is often not documented in nigeria but he was suppose to provide a customary divorce to them otherwise, he could be in polygamy / bigamy with you right now. I won't be surprised if he is still married, most christians marry in the church and register later at the court house. Were you in Nigeria for the wedding? Do u know if he had any divorce record for the embassy to work with? Did you have your name changed on the marriage certificate to get through the embassy? I wonder why the embassy issued your visa with the nick name. If you cannot divorce in the US then you will have to go to Nigeria to get divorce and that will just be a challenge for you giving your experience. I feel sad for you now and it just make me angry at the same time

[Enlighten one :) 5]

1. His brother in US gave him the money. His brother sent me brother on occassion when needed with promises my ex would pay him back once in the US (read emails) Once my ex arrived the money stopped. My mother paid for the CNA school.

2. I ended thing s with him 2 weeks prior to him calling the cops. Offered for him to move to AZ and be with his brother or he could stay as a roomate. I knew he was lying and scamming, but wanted to end thing amicably for the sake of my son. What a relief when I ended things, I just didn't need to figure things out anymore.

3. He came and went as he pleased. I would come home from work he would not be home. Didn't call to tell and I didn't call to look for him. Later I found an email where he was meating a girl at the library. Gmail has a way of keeping the whole back and forth conversation,.

4. Never once did I say anythign in general about NIgerians. But I can name about 7 women on hear and one not on hear that where scammed for immigration purposes. Common in all third world countries.

5. his brother who claims to be a christian was in on this the whole time. I read emails between the two when I hyjacked his email account discussing me and the interview.

[Enlighten one :) 5]

Mind you he came and went as he pleased. HE did this in front of my 11 year old son. Who just ten minutes prior was at football practice for 2.5 hours. He could have done it then. He waited for me to leave and pick him up at practice. Coward.

[LOLAs 1]

1. His brother in US gave him the money. His brother sent me brother on occassion when needed with promises my ex would pay him back once in the US (read emails) Once my ex arrived the money stopped. My mother paid for the CNA school.

2. I ended thing s with him 2 weeks prior to him calling the cops. Offered for him to move to AZ and be with his brother or he could stay as a roomate. I knew he was lying and scamming, but wanted to end thing amicably for the sake of my son. What a relief when I ended things, I just didn't need to figure things out anymore.

3. He came and went as he pleased. I would come home from work he would not be home. Didn't call to tell and I didn't call to look for him. Later I found an email where he was meating a girl at the library. Gmail has a way of keeping the whole back and forth conversation,.

4. Never once did I say anythign in general about NIgerians. But I can name about 7 women on hear and one not on hear that where scammed for immigration purposes. Common in all third world countries.

5. his brother who claims to be a christian was in on this the whole time. I read emails between the two when I hyjacked his email account discussing me and the interview.

Do you know the church that they are working with or are they independent church owners? This may be bigger than you as you are now because they may be a regular scam. Make sure you print the e-mails before he change his password.

[Enlighten one :) 5]

All emails have been printed, scanned and properly stored.

He wasn't associated with a church when he left, He claimed to be, but I think he just said that because I was telling him he should. I read a letter he wrote to his supervisor at the church because of a bad review he had recieved then later getting terminated. His brother worked for a bank of america, but has since changed his job.

He first applied for a student visa was denied because he failed to show ties. He claimed he was married on the student visa. I have a copy that he left in his suit case.

It is scary that he was so faithful to God, why doesn't he believe that he will suffer for his sins. Amazing.

[LOLAs 1]

All emails have been printed, scanned and properly stored.

He wasn't associated with a church when he left, He claimed to be, but I think he just said that because I was telling him he should. I read a letter he wrote to his supervisor at the church because of a bad review he had recieved then later getting terminated. His brother worked for a bank of america, but has since changed his job.

He first applied for a student visa was denied because he failed to show ties. He claimed he was married on the student visa. I have a copy that he left in his suit case.

It is scary that he was so faithful to God, why doesn't he believe that he will suffer for his sins. Amazing.

well, you did not answer the questions on whether the marriage took place in Nigeria or not. If u are filling for divorce now that needs to be addressed. I wonder why you want to help him with ROC before this cop incident, he might use that against you I think. Anyway, look for a good attorney to help you with this journey, since neither of you are domicile in nigeria at this time the only choice for you is to get divorce in the US.

[Rob and Jill 82]

Enlighten,

If no one was arrested at your home, and the officer didn't take any "official" statements, then in all likihood there is not a police report. Police reports are usually reserved for arrests, car accidents, and events that require paperwork. Standing by while your estranged husband is leaving won't necessarily mean there is a report. I would call and check with the police department, but don't hold your breath for it. Also, if there is a copy there, ask if there is a fee for it. most police stations charge for copies now.

I'm sorry you're going through a rough time right now. Hopefully, life will become much easier on you soon.

Lola,

A lot of women think if they marry a foreign spouse they can order them about and control them because of green card. A lot of time it turns ugly because American culture gives a lot of good liberty to women some of which they abuse. With a foreign spouse it will be uglier because the culture are different.

I don't think "a lot" of women have intentions of marrying a foreign spouse with the idea that they can control the other person. Unfortunately, I do think a lot of people marry without really realizing who they are marrying, and when it doesn't work out, the deportation issue becomes a way for some people to be spiteful. It's unfortunately the easiest way to "get back" at an immigrant spouse, if there are grounds for it.

Can you name an example of a liberty women in the U.S. are given and that they abuse? Legally, women are given the same rights in the country as everyone else, so I am curious to see what kind of liberties you see abused? I'm trying to understand your viewpoint a bit more, and honestly to see if what you consider an abuse of liberty is just something that truly is a cultural difference?

[LOLAs 1]

well the fact that women takes all in most divorce in the US and the men has to pay in spouse support is one of the many that is different from the countries in which some foreign spouse's come from.

i do not want to get into this issue here because it really offers no help to the situation of "enlighted one". such differences are not usually obvious when dating, they come back to haunt one when the relationship is sour like this.

if he has conned her like she claims then she should do whatever she can to get him deported, i will do that if i am in her shoes. what i will not do is to get him deported because we are no longer together if he had not conned me. i think ICE will figure that out when she reports. I am just wondering whether she might not be doubted when she has went along with him in using a marriage cert that doesn't have a official name, agree to help him with ROC even though she realized that he is a scam and lastly getting support from him and the relationship seems to end when the money is not coming anymore. she needs to think all these out before making a case otherwise she will tie herself into the mess and be accused of accepting payment to be married to him.

I do not in any way imply that you had been married to him for any of these reasons and I truly sympathize with you and really hope that you get through this. But I want you to know that now you may not be thinking right and all this may come back to bite you if you are not careful, in the end he may get deported but taint you for the future.

Enlighten,

If no one was arrested at your home, and the officer didn't take any "official" statements, then in all likihood there is not a police report. Police reports are usually reserved for arrests, car accidents, and events that require paperwork. Standing by while your estranged husband is leaving won't necessarily mean there is a report. I would call and check with the police department, but don't hold your breath for it. Also, if there is a copy there, ask if there is a fee for it. most police stations charge for copies now.

I'm sorry you're going through a rough time right now. Hopefully, life will become much easier on you soon.

Lola,

A lot of women think if they marry a foreign spouse they can order them about and control them because of green card. A lot of time it turns ugly because American culture gives a lot of good liberty to women some of which they abuse. With a foreign spouse it will be uglier because the culture are different.

I don't think "a lot" of women have intentions of marrying a foreign spouse with the idea that they can control the other person. Unfortunately, I do think a lot of people marry without really realizing who they are marrying, and when it doesn't work out, the deportation issue becomes a way for some people to be spiteful. It's unfortunately the easiest way to "get back" at an immigrant spouse, if there are grounds for it.

Can you name an example of a liberty women in the U.S. are given and that they abuse? Legally, women are given the same rights in the country as everyone else, so I am curious to see what kind of liberties you see abused? I'm trying to understand your viewpoint a bit more, and honestly to see if what you consider an abuse of liberty is just something that truly is a cultural difference?

[rika60607 215]

Not true and has nothing to do with OT.

well the fact that women takes all in most divorce in the US and the men has to pay in spouse support is one of the many that is different from the countries in which some foreign spouse's come from.

[Enlighten one :) 5]

At the time I said, i would work with him to ROC, I was in denial. I wanted to pretned that our relationship just did not work out. DENIAL as many people stay in the relationship. Less embarassing to say it was cultural or just didnt' work out.

When he called the cops that caused me to open my eyes. Pull out the evidence I had collected and tucked away for a rainy day. Then hyjacking his email just solidified everything. A man who remained so quiet and cooperative in person and verbalized differently when communicating to his brother is just a pure manipulater.

I will submit my proof and evidence and let the chips fall where they may. I coudl care less if he stay, after what he did to me and my son he will never enjoy his stay here in America.