Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)

[nyseness 0]

Hello All,

I'm back to the questioning again. Since my last visit to Jamaica, I have been proposed to. Didn't think it would happen this fast, but I knew it would happen. Guess I wasn't jumping the gun afterall when I began writing on here, asking all kinds of questions.

Well now I am trying to figure out which process is best for Evan and I. I see I can either go for the K1 and not get married til after this one arrives, or I can do the K3 and get married prior.

Questions:

If i do the K3, which is stated as having the same processing times as the K1, what would be my advantage over the K1 exactly.

Does the K3 allow Evan to travel back Jamaica for visits, before we adjust status?

If I do the K1, when exactly will Evan be able to travel back to Jamaica?

I wonder about the travel back to JA so much because, I know this will be a huge adjustment for him to come to the states and I would like to know that we have the option to go back to Jamaica for a family visit every once in awhile. I would hate to get him here on the wrong visa and he becomes home sick without an option to visit home for a bit.

I also noticed that the K3 visa requires a I-129F AND a I-130 to process. Is this correct? Seems like a lot of money. Why would I need the I-129F if he is my spouse and not my fiance?

Any info is appreciated. Thanks!

The K1 is the fastest visa, but if you choose to get married in JA then you will have to apply for the CR-1 (I-130) first. Once you get your NOA1 then you can apply for the K3 (I-129f). The K3 was created to reunite familes together so they wouldn't have to wait out the CR1, but lately seems like they both have been running the same time frame.

I see that you did the CR1. I am starting to figure out that for the K3 visa you must apply for the CR1 also. Thats 2 sets of fees right? But I have to 2 years to get an AOS.

With the K1 I pay 1 fee, but have to immediately get married an apply for AOS, which is another fee. Is this cheaper?

The CR-1 is the longest but the cheapest. With the CR-1 you submit the I-130 for $190 then you wait for approval. Once approved it goes to the NVC which you will pay another $70 for the I-864 and $380 for the DS-230 part I & II.

For the K1 you will need to submit the I-129f for $170 then another $100 (I think) for the visa issuance in JA. Once he arrives in the states he will THEN need to apply for the AOS ($325) which can be very costly depending if you're also going to file for the EAD ($180) and AP ($170).

Now with the K3 you will need to send in the I-130 for $190 then the I-129f for $170. The other costs are the same as the K1. Also remember in JA your SO will have add'l costs as well.

If you decide to go the K3 route then yes he has 2 yrs to do the AOS. BUT also know that they immigration fees are going to increase (significantly) in Oct of this year.

Basically it boils down to WHEN you want to spend the necessary fees for the entire process and how much. As for me I decided to go the CR1 route because my money is an issue with me. I rather spend the time and resource now so once he arrives we will be done w/immigration (at least for two years) and can focus on our life together instead of more paperwork and less money to spread around.

Edited March 29, 2007 by nyseness

[BelwinMills 0]

Hello All,

I'm back to the questioning again. Since my last visit to Jamaica, I have been proposed to. Didn't think it would happen this fast, but I knew it would happen. Guess I wasn't jumping the gun afterall when I began writing on here, asking all kinds of questions.

Well now I am trying to figure out which process is best for Evan and I. I see I can either go for the K1 and not get married til after this one arrives, or I can do the K3 and get married prior.

Questions:

If i do the K3, which is stated as having the same processing times as the K1, what would be my advantage over the K1 exactly.

Does the K3 allow Evan to travel back Jamaica for visits, before we adjust status?

If I do the K1, when exactly will Evan be able to travel back to Jamaica?

I wonder about the travel back to JA so much because, I know this will be a huge adjustment for him to come to the states and I would like to know that we have the option to go back to Jamaica for a family visit every once in awhile. I would hate to get him here on the wrong visa and he becomes home sick without an option to visit home for a bit.

I also noticed that the K3 visa requires a I-129F AND a I-130 to process. Is this correct? Seems like a lot of money. Why would I need the I-129F if he is my spouse and not my fiance?

Any info is appreciated. Thanks!

The K1 is the fastest visa, but if you choose to get married in JA then you will have to apply for the CR-1 (I-130) first. Once you get your NOA1 then you can apply for the K3 (I-129f). The K3 was created to reunite familes together so they wouldn't have to wait out the CR1, but lately seems like they both have been running the same time frame.

I see that you did the CR1. I am starting to figure out that for the K3 visa you must apply for the CR1 also. Thats 2 sets of fees right? But I have to 2 years to get an AOS.

With the K1 I pay 1 fee, but have to immediately get married an apply for AOS, which is another fee. Is this cheaper?

The CR-1 is the longest but the cheapest. With the CR-1 you submit the I-130 for $190 then you wait for approval. Once approved it goes to the NVC which you will pay another $70 for the I-864 and $380 for the DS-230 part I & II.

For the K1 you will need to submit the I-129f for $170 then another $100 (I think) for the visa issuance in JA. Once he arrives in the states he will THEN need to apply for the AOS ($325) which can be very costly depending if you're also going to file for the EAD ($180) and AP ($170).

Now with the K3 you will need to send in the I-130 for $190 then the I-129f for $170. The other costs are the same as the K1. Also remember in JA your SO will have add'l costs as well.

If you decide to go the K3 route then yes he has 2 yrs to do the AOS. BUT also know that they immigration fees are going to increase (significantly) in Oct of this year.

Basically it boils down to WHEN you want to spend the necessary fees for the entire process and how much. As for me I decided to go the CR1 route because my money is an issue with me. I rather spend the time and resource now so once he arrives we will be done w/immigration (at least for two years) and can focus on our life together instead of more paperwork and less money to spread around.

New proposed CIS filing fees to increase total immigration costs up to $1,040 for K-1 applicants, K-3 up to $920, CR1 cost $640

not included in these fees medicals and police certificates.

[luvtravlin 0]

Hi everyone I am by know means a Vet I am somewhere in between

I wanted to add my two cents into the adjustment process theirs and ours.

I totally agree with whom ever said that you really don't know your love one untill they are here.

My husband arrived before Christmas we have had alot of hurdles to overcome because we did not know each other. It is real easy to be nice and easy going for a week or two at a time when you are on vacation because most of that time you are making up for lost time . When they are here 7 days a 24 hrs a day it gets to be more then a challege . You get up and go to work and he's still in the bed drives me wacko!!! And I know he would work if he could . Finding out that he has to get a GED "WHAT YOU DIDN"T FINISH HIGH SCHOOL"!! That never came up in our conversations . You have to be very prepared like the Vets say don't take anything for granted and know yourself. If you are not PATENT you are in for a hard road. I love my husband very much and i would do it again but please be prepared to raise a 5th grader at first!!! Then they start getting cocky when they think they have learned something . Take it day by day and know the road is not easy . LET the love help you through the hard times.

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For those that have known me for the past (almost) 2 yrs.....know that I am honest and NOT embarrassed to air out my "dirty laundry" on here. I am here to HELP those that are going through this process and to listen when others are having problems, etc etc. For those that have been on here for awhile know what I've dealt with in the past.........and to be HONEST, I'm still "dealing" with some of those same issues.

There is an age difference between Craig and myself. Craig was an absolutely TOTALLY different person in Jamaica!!! He COMPLETELY changed about the 3rd week after he got here. Then when he started working and having that "freedom", it was even a million times worse!!!!! Especially for the "young" guys....all the women that are here in the states ....and STUPID ones that don't CARE if the man is wearing a wedding ring and is married......they will do anything to jeopardize that..........and of course, the man has to NOT "promote" that too!!

I have been a single parent of a now 13 yr old boy (my sons father has never been in the picture). I've been "on my own" since I was 18yrs old. Since having my son, I've struggled and for those of us that are single parents (who grew up in a single parent household) know exactly what I'm talking about. My son does NOT have the IPOD, Xbox 360 and cell phone....nor will he anytime soon. HE buys his own shoes, by working for my part-time boss or mowing my parents lawn and he saves his money and then buys those expensive darn shoes. But.....my son has been everywhere, that's where my money has been spent on traveling and letting him experience other cultures and parts of the world. That means more to me than having the material things in life.

Craig STILL does NOT "get" that rent, electric and phone bill HAVE to be paid every month and ON time....he just does not "get that". Now that he has a cell phone, that he went out and bought with his own money and HAS to pay the bill on time AND having his own bank account....hoping that will some day hit him that he does have to have responsibilities. He's overdrawn his bank account a million times !!!

After the rent, electric, phone bill, groceries, gas, cat food, litter, then just other stuff that come up.....they have to be paid!!

I'm very very fortunate to own my own company and I've worked extremely hard to get where I am...and continue to work hard every day. I work from home and come and go as I want. We live in an area that has transportation to everywhere and the grocery store, Walmart, liquor store (can be a bad thing at times), restaurants, bowling alley are RIGHT up the street from our place. I know alot of you guys that live in the suburbs don't have that....and dag I couldn't imagine what you go through.

Most of the times I do NOT take Craig places because he HAS to learn the area and getting around and seeing how it goes here (in this area). I didn't buy his cell phone because he had to know what it's like to "be responsible". I've raised my son and I REFUSE to raise another one, especially an adult.

I have a LOADS of patience....and I've needed to with Craig.....trust me (kisteet)!!! He's tested me in every which way....that's the age difference AND culturally. ALOT of Jamaican men *think* they can do and get away with things here in America like they did down there!!!

So, for those on here that have problems, issues, marital, parenting, etc etc......or can help those that are "comin up"....I beg of you, to "air out" your stuff to be able to help others and actually those of us that are veterans.

I miss the other veterans that haven't been on here for quite awhile and hope they still do lurk 'round ....you know who you are, please stop in to say hi and let us know how you're doing. If things are NOT the way "they are supposed to be"....so what, we are NOT here to judge, but to SUPPORT each other !! Good, bad and the ugly !

Kelly

[BelwinMills 0]

Thanks luvtravlin for the input.

[Shemmy 4]

Hello VJ family. I wrote a response to Kelly's post but it disappeared

I agree with Kelly on most things. I've met or talked to lots of US/JA couples and they all agree that -- it doesn't matter how long or what kind of relationship you had in JA...it will be different once you live together in the states. Different not necessarily bad.

Newbies - please listen to all the Veterans stories. Like Kelly said "the good, bad and ugly". Learn from us. Most people on here knows I have no problem sharing our experience. Just PM or call me.

Overall, I could have not asked for a better husband. Damien is great with money and pay bills. I never had to remind him of his responsibilies in our household. I used to make 3 times more money than him (he catching up now) but he always buy me things like my favorite lotion from Bath and Body Works, clothes and shoes to make me feel special....little things mean so much. He is a WONDERFUL stepfather and a hard worker.

We've been married over 2 years now and we are still adjusting to each other...it does get better with time. Our relationship could have gone either way...good or bad. I still have my guards up sometimes because you never know how life will treat you or how things will end. Today, I am enjoying happiness...one day at a time.

BTW - there's a 10 year age difference between us. No problems so far cuz I'm the goofy one

[Shemmy 4]

It is a challenge. Every day is a challenge. But every day it gets a bit easier. You have to keep an open mind, have lots of patience and most importantly -- YOU ARE NOT ON VACATION ANYMORE!! This is real life with real issues that you are going to deal with. Keep the lines of communication open and when the going gets tough -- remember we are here and you are not alone!!

Very true.

Mindy - how is Roy? I know you and the dogs are happy.

[Shemmy 4]

36 more days until the interview keep the days flying.

Do you guys have any special traditions you do at Easter. Do you eat bun and cheese for Easter?

We eat bun & cheese and fry fish all weekend long!! My favorite!!!

I'm not Jamaican but can't wait to eat bun & cheese and fish on Easter

[Minfay 0]

Silent prayer: Lord help me to learn patience & to hold my tongue.

I was biting my tongue so hard once I almost cut it off :lol

Kelly -- Once again, thank you for being so honest. I really do believe our experiences can help those "coming up" and we should continue to share.

SJB -- We are ALL so happy he is home. I think he is happier He doesn't want to go back for two years -- said JA hasn't gotten any better probably worse. He is still tired and said he needs a vacation to recover. Yup, he's a true American now.

*******************************************************

Roy has been here a little over a year and I have to say we have had a pretty good time. We are both very "easy going" and our personalities mesh very well. <<I am 44 and he is 37>> The time I spent in JA with him was taken up talking. That's all we did -- talk, talk, talk. We never went to the bars or even out to dinner. We sat on the balcony of the hotel and talked. I think that helped us tremendously. We talked about everything you could possibly imagine.

The adjustment is still happening a year later. I have to remember that a lot of the experiences are new to him -- you tend to take that for granted -- DON'T.

The only problem we have ever had -- the only fights we have ever had have been about alcohol. While he was home alone for all those months doing nothing he drank all my vodka in the freezer. It took me months to realize that the bottles (three of them) were slowly disappearing. I have learned that we cannot have alcohol in the house. If I buy a 12-pack of beer -- it's gone in a week. OKAY -- he does not drink every day. The problem is when there is alcohol in the house he drinks it -=- drinks it like he drinks pop. He still doesn't understand that you cannot drink a beer as you are walking out the door to go to work. I am a social drinker -- I would say he is too. I have never seen him drunk that's not our issue. He doesn't go out to bars drinking with the guys......and he isn't the one who buys the alcohol -- I AM.

He drinks when he is bored and sitting around reading the paper. BUT -- I tend to look "into the future" and don't want his "bordom drinking" to turn into something so much worse. There really isn't that much difference between me coming home from work at night and having a glass of wine -- Roy drinks that glass of wine during the day. That's what bothers me.

Roy has been here for 14 months -- we have had three fights about this. I know am more aware because I have heard the stories that have happened to others. If people DID NOT share their stories and experiences I would still be buying alcohol and he would be drinking it.

[Jayandmars 0]

Hi...one of the "Lurkers" here.

I am the Jamaican wife and I have been in the the US for 3 months now. A lot of you women are not going to like what I am about to post but like everyone else, I am being honest about my feelings.

I had a job in Jamaica that barely paid all my expenses with a child to support. I worked extra jobs at night (whenever work was available) and depended on neighbours to watch her while I was gone because I could not afford child care. My ex - her father - moved to the US and remarried and made no effort to support her. He wasn't much of a father when we were together either. He had no real sense of responsibility or commitment and thought that he could/should have anything he wanted, whether fancy cars or women.

I made a decision along the way after going through my own struggles and seeing my other girlfriends go through all the issues that some of you are mentioning now - the irresponsibility, the lying, the infidelity, the abuse etc., that I would NEVER ever find myself in a relationship with a worthless, good-for-nothing, no-sense-of-values Jamaican man again. (this is where you can all cuss me now).

I am now here in the US and going through the adjustment period. I am at home most times because I am still waiting for my EAD. Having known what it was like to have to choose between the electricity bill or food for my daughter, I am VERY APPRECIATIVE of the new life that Jay has offered me and would NEVER abuse his generosity. He treats me like the most important thing in his life and I try to make sure he feels the same way. I chose only the simplest of things for our very modest wedding - to cut down on the expenses and I refuse to put him through any unnecessary spending. When I get a job, I will feel at liberty to get any extras that I may want so I must be the rare JAMAICAN who understands that money doesnt grow on trees.

I feel for all those who are going through rough adjustment periods with their partners...just remember that there are a few of us who have a conscience and respect the fact that our partners have to get up and go out in the cold everyday to support us.

My 2 cents!

Mars.

[nannygirl82 0]

Hi...one of the "Lurkers" here.

I am the Jamaican wife and I have been in the the US for 3 months now. A lot of you women are not going to like what I am about to post but like everyone else, I am being honest about my feelings.

I had a job in Jamaica that barely paid all my expenses with a child to support. I worked extra jobs at night (whenever work was available) and depended on neighbours to watch her while I was gone because I could not afford child care. My ex - her father - moved to the US and remarried and made no effort to support her. He wasn't much of a father when we were together either. He had no real sense of responsibility or commitment and thought that he could/should have anything he wanted, whether fancy cars or women.

I made a decision along the way after going through my own struggles and seeing my other girlfriends go through all the issues that some of you are mentioning now - the irresponsibility, the lying, the infidelity, the abuse etc., that I would NEVER ever find myself in a relationship with a worthless, good-for-nothing, no-sense-of-values Jamaican man again. (this is where you can all cuss me now).

I am now here in the US and going through the adjustment period. I am at home most times because I am still waiting for my EAD. Having known what it was like to have to choose between the electricity bill or food for my daughter, I am VERY APPRECIATIVE of the new life that Jay has offered me and would NEVER abuse his generosity. He treats me like the most important thing in his life and I try to make sure he feels the same way. I chose only the simplest of things for our very modest wedding - to cut down on the expenses and I refuse to put him through any unnecessary spending. When I get a job, I will feel at liberty to get any extras that I may want so I must be the rare JAMAICAN who understands that money doesnt grow on trees.

I feel for all those who are going through rough adjustment periods with their partners...just remember that there are a few of us who have a conscience and respect the fact that our partners have to get up and go out in the cold everyday to support us.

My 2 cents!

Mars.

Mars....i am not going to yell at you or cuss at you because what you said about the JA men....iiisss ummm i hate to say it but TRUE!!!!

Mike has gotten in the bad habbit of lying to me....values that i thought we shared somehow got lost in the airplane on is way here....i wouldn't go as far to say that he is a good for nothing because he does try to help out around the house and does try to cook....but as far as taking care of me and my well being...ya that he really does lack....

like so many others have said he changed when he got here....he saw pretty things and pretty toys and wants ALL of them....and to say that he is getting the whole money thing is a understatement....he MIGHT get it for a week and then talkes to one of his homies who know nothing about bills and if you don't pay it gets cut off or you get thrown out of the apartment...it is just an ongoing battle and i pray with time it works its way out of his system...

Mindy mike did the same thing....i had bought wine and i went to get some for dinner and not even a half a glass was left...mike doesn't really drink...but i agree i think it was out of bordem and something to drink other then tea or water or juice...because if he wanted to he could easily go to the store and get stuff but he doesn't...

to all the ladies who are having there men come over...we are NOT trying to scare you or change your mind....but you need to know that HE will change....things WILL happen that will make you second guess yourself....in April it will be 3 years that Mike and I have been together and things have a way of coming out that you didn't know about the other person...i thought i knew mike like a book...but then again when i went to see him...we had NO STRESS except what to eat and what club to go to....could sleep in all the time ect ect.....

i guess my advice is just prepare yourselves for some hard times ahead and that we are all here to support each other!!

[JaEnglishGirl 34]

I think quite a few generalizations are being aired in this thread.

In MY experience, Jamaican men who have to be treated like children are the EXCEPTION rather than the norm, certainly none of the Jamaican men I have been out with have acted like kids.

I think the problem in some cases may be that if you treat a man like a child, he acts like one. If you treat a man like a man and take if for granted he will act like one, in my experience this has been the case.

Again, I may be too sensitive, but I seem to see a trend to 'classify' Jamaican men, as if they are a 'species', there are good, bad, honest, untrustworthy men in every country.

As for some Jamaican men seeing Americans as being rich because of ipods, Xboxes etc, it all depends what social strata they come from.

If you are dating a gardener, a taxi driver in ANY country I am sure they would have some illusions about how they see someone with all the trappings mentioned.

Again, I lived in Jamaica often not knowing where the next meal would come from.

Here, I live in a modest apartment, have two holidays aborad a year, my son has an Xbox, expensive clothes, and damn right I feel 'rich'.

I am by no means rich by western standards, but I can basically buy anything I fancy within reason and have the luxury of knowing that I can maintain this lifestyle.

I think part of the problem with unrealistic expectations stem from behaviour of visitors to Jamaica. If you are anything like me, I save the whole year to go to Jamaica, I comb through the sales to buy new clothes to wear there, I set myself a generous daily spending limit etc. When people there see how you 'live' for the two weeks or week you are there, they think that's how it is always.

But I think the best thing to do is to prepare your other half for the reality of living here.

That you may cook one night and eat the leftovers the next, etc etc.

[nannygirl82 0]

I think quite a few generalizations are being aired in this thread.

In MY experience, Jamaican men who have to be treated like children are the EXCEPTION rather than the norm, certainly none of the Jamaican men I have been out with have acted like kids.

I think the problem in some cases may be that if you treat a man like a child, he acts like one. If you treat a man like a man and take if for granted he will act like one, in my experience this has been the case.

Again, I may be too sensitive, but I seem to see a trend to 'classify' Jamaican men, as if they are a 'species', there are good, bad, honest, untrustworthy men in every country.

As for some Jamaican men seeing Americans as being rich because of ipods, Xboxes etc, it all depends what social strata they come from.

If you are dating a gardener, a taxi driver in ANY country I am sure they would have some illusions about how they see someone with all the trappings mentioned.

Again, I lived in Jamaica often not knowing where the next meal would come from.

Here, I live in a modest apartment, have two holidays aborad a year, my son has an Xbox, expensive clothes, and damn right I feel 'rich'.

I am by no means rich by western standards, but I can basically buy anything I fancy within reason and have the luxury of knowing that I can maintain this lifestyle.

I think part of the problem with unrealistic expectations stem from behaviour of visitors to Jamaica. If you are anything like me, I save the whole year to go to Jamaica, I comb through the sales to buy new clothes to wear there, I set myself a generous daily spending limit etc. When people there see how you 'live' for the two weeks or week you are there, they think that's how it is always.

But I think the best thing to do is to prepare your other half for the reality of living here.

That you may cook one night and eat the leftovers the next, etc etc.

hhhmm not sure what i want to say to this...but yes maybe you are a little partial...but also from what i have read is that most of us on this thread have gone through almost the same type of things w. our SO....it just so happens to be a yardies thread so it just so happens to be mostly JA men we are talking about....go onto another thread and i am sure you might find the same thing other ladies b*tching about there men...

[rhondapayter 0]

It is real easy to be nice and easy going for a week or two at a time when you are on vacation because most of that time you are making up for lost time . When they are here 7 days a 24 hrs a day it gets to be more then a challege . You get up and go to work and he's still in the bed drives me wacko!!! And I know he would work if he could .

Yes, so true And yes, it drove me nuts too that I had to work EVERY day while he lounged around the house watching TV all day Even though I knew he wouldn't be able to work right away, it still sucked!

[*JG* 2]

You guys are awesome........I've been on other sites where all they do is either make life seem like a fairytale or bash, bash, bash. Your honesty is refreshing.

Andre has been here almost a year now. Before he came here, our relationship was long and drawn out. I made frequent monthly trips to spend time living with him. We also spent hours on the phone talking about everything and anything.

I have to say it wasn't too bad of an adjustment period so far. The waiting and the boredom at first. Luckily, I had a friend who owned his own home improvements company and he threw Andre a bone. Not only did he have some money coming in, he had time filled. After he got his green card and SSN, he found himself a job. It's fast food, and admittedly, Andre said he would've never taken such a job in JA; but it is a job. Regular paychecks, health insurance, and now, after only a few months, he's moved up to shift leader and is trainging for management. All I asked of him is that he work it at least a year to have something US to put on his resume. Then, the sky is the limit.

We are very compatible so we rarely fight. Minor issues with the drinking, ganga (making friends in the local park nearly drove me to chop him up!), peeing in the back yard, carrying the machette around outside......Our biggest issue has been with family and friends calling and asking for money. We've had requests for money for a plane ticket, school fees, a cell phone, to help buy a car.....the requests never stop. And, at first he did not get money issues. As many of you know, a LDR is expensive and sometimes you have to dig yourself out of a deep hole. His first paycheck and $$$$ lights in his eyes. I had to make a monthly budget and show him exactly who much I needed from him just to keep us afloat. Whenever he has $$$$ in his eyes anymore, I remind him of his budget and the fact that if he wants to go back to JA and visit around Christmas, we MUST save money NOW. If he chooses to spend it, I point out he better now blame me in December when we can't afford to go. It's worked well so far.

[*JG* 2]

I think quite a few generalizations are being aired in this thread.

In MY experience, Jamaican men who have to be treated like children are the EXCEPTION rather than the norm, certainly none of the Jamaican men I have been out with have acted like kids.

I think the problem in some cases may be that if you treat a man like a child, he acts like one. If you treat a man like a man and take if for granted he will act like one, in my experience this has been the case.

Again, I may be too sensitive, but I seem to see a trend to 'classify' Jamaican men, as if they are a 'species', there are good, bad, honest, untrustworthy men in every country.

As for some Jamaican men seeing Americans as being rich because of ipods, Xboxes etc, it all depends what social strata they come from.

If you are dating a gardener, a taxi driver in ANY country I am sure they would have some illusions about how they see someone with all the trappings mentioned.

Again, I lived in Jamaica often not knowing where the next meal would come from.

Here, I live in a modest apartment, have two holidays aborad a year, my son has an Xbox, expensive clothes, and damn right I feel 'rich'.

I am by no means rich by western standards, but I can basically buy anything I fancy within reason and have the luxury of knowing that I can maintain this lifestyle.

I think part of the problem with unrealistic expectations stem from behaviour of visitors to Jamaica. If you are anything like me, I save the whole year to go to Jamaica, I comb through the sales to buy new clothes to wear there, I set myself a generous daily spending limit etc. When people there see how you 'live' for the two weeks or week you are there, they think that's how it is always.

But I think the best thing to do is to prepare your other half for the reality of living here.

That you may cook one night and eat the leftovers the next, etc etc.

No classifying.....talking about something we know about........OUR Jamaican men. If I had married a man from Australia, I suppose I would be somewhere else talking about him.