Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 3)

[rhondapayter 0]

My family are pricey shoppers so I know they will be giving her some good stuff cause they like to show off like that. So I was talking to my fiance about this a couple weeks ago and told her that they might have done this. Her response was that she does not like hand me downs and not a charity case.

Is it a man's thing that we will accept gifts like this, but women have difficulty doing this? Or am I marrying the exception to the rule here?

I think this just depends on the person and how they were raised. My husband finds it really funny that we pass down used clothes here I guess they never did that where he was from. He did accept a few things from my dad (used coats, boots, flannel shirts, etc) that he wears to work since he works outside. However, when my grandfather passed away last year, my mom was giving away everything of his and some of this stuff was brand new. She gave a bunch of stuff to me for Tony knowing that he didn't have a lot of warm clothing. Tony was absolutely APPALLED that I would give him a "dead man's clothes" as he put it He said in Jamaica when someone dies, they burn all their clothes and shoes It is absolutely unheard of to pass on these things. Has anyone else heard of this?

So I have to do some shopping to at least allow her to survive the first couple days after we return until she goes shopping for herself.

When Tony came here I bought him a zip-up fleece sweatshirt. It was ok for a few days and then I took him shopping to pick out a winter coat, hat, and gloves. Depending on how cold it is where you are, you might be able to do something like this. Or, could you lend her one of your coats just until you can get her to the store? That way you don't have to worry about buying something she might not like.

[Mrs. Palmer 5]

You know what Trini--I'm thinking this whole "intense sense of pride" thing is definitely instilled in ALL Jamaicans, not just the women. I was talking to my fiance the other nite about registering our wedding at a couple of different stores and asking him what he was interested in having. Well, after I explained what "registering" meant, then he was all mad saying stuff like "Why we haf to take tings from other people? I can buy my own wife tings for de house!" I was like, "OK, HERE WE GO! " So then I was like, "its not the same as us not being able to afford stuff or people taking pity on us, it's just a gesture of kindness and helping us to get started in our new life together as husband and wife." He wasn't buying it...not one bit! I tell you, sometimes this man makes me crazy!

[luvtravlin 0]

One other question. So I went to dinner with my family last week. We are discussing my fiance moving here and everyone is so excited about it. My sister calls today and says she will bring over some coats and sweaters and boots since she and my fiance wear the same size. My grandmother leaves me a voice mail and say that she has some stuff too. My family are pricey shoppers so I know they will be giving her some good stuff cause they like to show off like that. So I was talking to my fiance about this a couple weeks ago and told her that they might have done this. Her response was that she does not like hand me downs and not a charity case.

It is not that we cannot afford to buy her winter clothes cause I made provisions for this. But I figure why turn away gifts that are given with the best of intentions. I am not one to get into a pissing match over something like this. I just do not want to offend my family, but I have a woman who has intense pride.( Yes, something to work on). I wish someone was this generous to me when I came here years ago with a sweater during a blizzard. Is it a man's thing that we will accept gifts like this, but women have difficulty doing this? Or am I marrying the exception to the rule here?

Craig does NOT like "hand me downs". He wants "new" stuff. I had 2 fleeze type jackets and a pullover (mens) that my son had won at something. He didn't put up a fight wearing them because as you know it's COLD here !!! He did go and buy a winter jacket 2 weekends ago at Walmart and LOVES it...and "can't wait" (but is also scared) to wear it. I have tons of gloves that I keep around and he's been wearing them to.

Maybe you could just accept the items from your family (they don't have to know she may not like or keep them) and then buy her something nice (and affordable....I buy my stuff at Old Navy--LOVE that store). Then maybe when she realizes HOW cold it is here, she'll be accepting of the "gifts" that family members have given to her. Maybe you could wrap them up in a nice box or something like that??

Tamisha ---I'm totally hip to hanging (depending on soccer--which is every weekend till Nov 12th). I've yet to meet Shemonya (and Damien) and we don't even live that far!! I met up with Woogietail when she lived in the area. We went to see a band called Jahworks. They are really awesome. That's the ONLY time that I will go out to a club/bar is to see this band.

Kim, I'm happy that you guys were able to work through everything. Communicating and TALKING without a heated argument, throwing stuff and whatnot really works wonders !!! Trust or no trust, having my man go to a "club"...eh, not happenin....just WAAAAY to much temptation!!! There are TONS of women (and men) that could give 2 you know whats if you're married, in a relationship or not!!!

How did the get together go up in north ???? Were you guys all able to get together and hang??

Michele, it's cccooooooolllldddd here !!! I had to scrape off ice on the window this morning. I can't STAND the cold weather!!! Craig said he likes it ??? Then he asked yesterday if I had heat here in the house (as he only had boxers and no shirt on???). Sitting out in it watching soccer in this flippin cold weather......argh (although I do keep that face/neck soccer mom tan happenin a likkle bit).

I too had a reunion, of sorts, Sat nite. It was for anyone that graduated from the elementary/middle school. The school has been open since 1967...it's Kindergarten through 8th grade (private school). I took my son and it was veeeeery cool to see some old faces and reconnect. I've been to everyone of my highschool reunions and had SO much fun. I'm still good friends with about 5 girls that I've known since we were in the 6th grade and 2 other friends of mine (guys) that lived in my neighborhood, we talk every week (one of my friends son is on my sons soccer team). We had fun growing up and there's nothing like having friends that you've been friends with since your childhood!!!

CONGRATS to the Savanphils !!!!

Thanks again for all of your support !!!

Have a great day everyone, keep warm for those of us that are feelin chilly!!!

Kelly

[Minfay 0]

You guys sure were chatty this weekend

Regarding the hand-me-downs....Roy wouldn't have any part of that either. We did take some things from my father's closet (tee-hee) but they were new and still had the tags on them.

Does your husband go out to night clubs without you? Are you okay with that?

Sometimes I wish Roy would go out. He really hasn't made too many friends yet -- just a few from school but they work all the time so there is no "opportunity" for play. Would I let him go out with the guys? Right now, I will say YES. When the time comes.....probably not :lol:

we just got our interview date 11/02 I am so happy

Congratulations!!

Well, after I explained what "registering" meant, then he was all mad saying stuff like "Why we haf to take tings from other people? I can buy my own wife tings for de house!" I was like, "OK, HERE WE GO!

I had the same conversation with Roy....we never registered.....

[Elizabethnhenry 0]

Re hand-me-downs:

Look I can't even handle washing my clothes with another person's; my whole life, I have washed my clothes separately from my siblings and my mom. And I wash my clothes separately from Henry's and I use "nuff detol". So I ask thee, how am I gonna wear another person's clothes??? It would be tough. The closest I came was in college...my roommate's grandma used to knit her gorgeous sweaters, which she would wear once and then store away. Sometimes she'd lend them to to me and I would wear them till she said "aw keep it."

[nyseness 0]

Hi Family

[AnaAndDaniel 0]

Re hand-me-downs:

Look I can't even handle washing my clothes with another person's; my whole life, I have washed my clothes separately from my siblings and my mom. And I wash my clothes separately from Henry's and I use "nuff detol". So I ask thee, how am I gonna wear another person's clothes??? It would be tough. The closest I came was in college...my roommate's grandma used to knit her gorgeous sweaters, which she would wear once and then store away. Sometimes she'd lend them to to me and I would wear them till she said "aw keep it."

i draw the line at chonis! no way i am wearing someone else's chonis. anything else is ok.

Daniel

:energetic:

[nyseness 0]

Hello!

So...I have a question for all of you. Does your husband go out to night clubs without you? Are you okay with that?

The reason I ask is because Duane was a DJ back in JA. He really misses playing music so he hooked up with a local DJ and he goes out every Thursday to play. I am totally okay with that. On occasion, we go out on Friday or Saturday night also. This weekend, I was asked to work overtime both days and I agreed because we really need the money. I just got home after working all day and Duane says he wants to go out tonight...I am completely wiped out and was hoping we would have a quiet evening in since I need to get up and be back at work at 7:00am.....We went to dinner and a movie last night.......

When I tell him this, he says that he would like to go by himself.....I was like......#######!!! I understand that he wants to get out the house but I feel like he is being kinda selfish considering the fact that I am working so "we" can have food on the table. Am I being wrong to feel this way???? Do married folks really go to clubs by themselves?? If so, why??? I understand that we all need our space but I kinda feel like this is a slap in the face. I work all freaking weekend so he can go out and play....Oh yes...and pay $10.00 cover charge and 15.00 taxi fare......Why can't we have a nice evening in???

Okay.....I am done venting but really...I need you to chime in here...am I being crazy???

Although I am not married yet, I wouldn't have a problem w/my man going out w/o me. If there is a party and I didn't feel like going I would tell him to go alone, even though I don't think he will. He used to be a DJ in JA as well but as time went by he kind of left the party thing alone. Claim he to old... Now from HIS point of view, I don't think he will feel the same way. He says woman go out to look for men, but that is not the case w/me. I will NEVER pick up a man at a club...eww. I love music and love to dance.

I know several married couples that go out alone sometimes but always come home before daylight. Not every night or every weekend of course but occasional is not a problem. Just my opinion.

Let us know how your reunion went Jax. I'm sure you'll have fun.

Wow there was hardly anyone there at all only like 35 of us. They sent out only 80 invitations to people and my class was 215 people wow. Oh and I didn't get an invite I just happened to find the site. We freakin need better planners next time. My girlfriend and I were about to leave when we got there it was so boring. Then we started chating with people and were one of the last ones to leave. I can't believe they were showing our old prom video and my hair was black then yuk. It was nice to see everyone and I can't beleive how many of us our teachers and still live in the same town.

I hope everyone had a great Saturday night.

Rhonda were are u?? Its late here and I don't see you? It's past my bed time I can't believe it. I am getting old.

Don't feel bad Jax my 10-year reunion was the same. I went to Evanston Townhip HS up north and our class was huge!!! But only a few was actually going so I decided not to go at the last minute. Instead they had an after-party and everyone showed up then. I think it was b/c of the cost...it was like $85. I then heard it was only 20 ppl that showed up.

As for me and the filing process we just got our interview date 11/02 I am so happy

Congratulations!!

Congrats!!!

Edited October 16, 2006 by nyseness

[Elizabethnhenry 0]

Re hand-me-downs:

Look I can't even handle washing my clothes with another person's; my whole life, I have washed my clothes separately from my siblings and my mom. And I wash my clothes separately from Henry's and I use "nuff detol". So I ask thee, how am I gonna wear another person's clothes??? It would be tough. The closest I came was in college...my roommate's grandma used to knit her gorgeous sweaters, which she would wear once and then store away. Sometimes she'd lend them to to me and I would wear them till she said "aw keep it."

i draw the line at chonis! no way i am wearing someone else's chonis. anything else is ok.

Daniel

:energetic:

I hear you, bro. There has GOT to be line drawn somewhere! Although I have shipped clothes to other countries and customs or whoever stole the chones.

[AnaAndDaniel 0]

Re hand-me-downs:

Look I can't even handle washing my clothes with another person's; my whole life, I have washed my clothes separately from my siblings and my mom. And I wash my clothes separately from Henry's and I use "nuff detol". So I ask thee, how am I gonna wear another person's clothes??? It would be tough. The closest I came was in college...my roommate's grandma used to knit her gorgeous sweaters, which she would wear once and then store away. Sometimes she'd lend them to to me and I would wear them till she said "aw keep it."

i draw the line at chonis! no way i am wearing someone else's chonis. anything else is ok.

Daniel

:energetic:

I hear you, bro. There has GOT to be line drawn somewhere! Although I have shipped clothes to other countries and customs or whoever stole the chones.

dayum!

then again, i've never shipped a pair of victorian secret chonis.

Daniel

:energetic:

[Jonesie 1]

Good afternoon

Graduation was last Wednesday and as of now I start Bachelors program @ end of this month

Now looking for another job, but enjoying the break and being able to sleep in

I saw all the discussions I missed but my dial up (yes I am in the stone ages) is slow and nuff time dem a log mi off so I'll just start in from this page. Hope everyone has been doing well.

[nyseness 0]

That is why I love you all. Get my Sunday morning sermon right at my desk. And do I get an Amen!

See I understand what you ladies are saying and maybe one of these days, faced with this scenario, I may scream and show my manly stupidity. I guess we can all preach in the shelter of our so called "educated consciousness" because it sounds like the ideal and I am going to be guilty of that a few times. But faced with this scenarion, all that well learned attitude may go out the window. Trust me, I will do what I must to protect my investment. I guess for me , I am at a point in my life where i do not feel like dealing with all the drama associated with getting my SO to follow the straight and narrow path. I am marrying a jamaican woman who once upon a time lived the life. Maybe her new disposition is a facade. But maybe it is real. But we have a trust in each other that came out of great sacrifice. The ability to let go and let be, has allowed me to survive the waters that separate us. Come November 5th that may all change and I will keep you ladies posted. For now, I say Amen!

Trini......you are all right!!! I have to agree esp w/me being so far from my man for so long. It took some time (in the beginning) to get to this stage but I trust my SO. It's hard to say it at times but I do. Now mind you I am coming from saying "I trust no one". I have been w/some guys in life and EVERY single one cheated. It was so bad to the point I would be w/someone but would drive myself crazy thinking about what he was doing. When Javon & I first together is was nothing but pure headache. I would snap and accuse him of this and that to the point it made me sick. Then I broke it off and we didn't talk for a very long time. Then one day I was missing him and I cld him and he spoke for hrs. I told him where I was coming from and he understood. I then realized that he never gave me a reason for me to think otherwise...and if I were going to continue to feel this way it will never work. So then I prayed and left it up to God. And to this day I have never doubted him in anyway. I love him and I know he feels the same about me. So like Trini says it's he's going to stray he will. No matter what we say or do only HE can make that final decision whether to cheat or not. Me being miserable is not doing nothing but hurting myself and us.

[Elizabethnhenry 0]

Re hand-me-downs:

Look I can't even handle washing my clothes with another person's; my whole life, I have washed my clothes separately from my siblings and my mom. And I wash my clothes separately from Henry's and I use "nuff detol". So I ask thee, how am I gonna wear another person's clothes??? It would be tough. The closest I came was in college...my roommate's grandma used to knit her gorgeous sweaters, which she would wear once and then store away. Sometimes she'd lend them to to me and I would wear them till she said "aw keep it."

i draw the line at chonis! no way i am wearing someone else's chonis. anything else is ok.

Daniel

:energetic:

I hear you, bro. There has GOT to be line drawn somewhere! Although I have shipped clothes to other countries and customs or whoever stole the chones.

dayum!

then again, i've never shipped a pair of victorian secret chonis.

Daniel

:energetic:

me pongo rojo!

[AnaAndDaniel 0]

Re hand-me-downs:

Look I can't even handle washing my clothes with another person's; my whole life, I have washed my clothes separately from my siblings and my mom. And I wash my clothes separately from Henry's and I use "nuff detol". So I ask thee, how am I gonna wear another person's clothes??? It would be tough. The closest I came was in college...my roommate's grandma used to knit her gorgeous sweaters, which she would wear once and then store away. Sometimes she'd lend them to to me and I would wear them till she said "aw keep it."

i draw the line at chonis! no way i am wearing someone else's chonis. anything else is ok.

Daniel

:energetic:

I hear you, bro. There has GOT to be line drawn somewhere! Although I have shipped clothes to other countries and customs or whoever stole the chones.

dayum!

then again, i've never shipped a pair of victorian secret chonis.

Daniel

:energetic:

me pongo rojo!

chistos!

Daniel

:energetic:

[Minfay 0]

Graduation was last Wednesday and as of now I start Bachelors program @ end of this month

!!! Congratulations !!!