how DO people get by doing the A.O.S

[Varba 0]

Our lawyer ADVISED us to do it this way.

Yes. A lawyer told us to break the law. Little did I know at the time it was illegal.

When we initially contacted a lawyer, they said two things.

First was, as you said illegal. Second was that they'd charge us roughly $5000 to help us.

Thank God for you guys & gals.

Edited October 16, 2009 by Varba

[Malrothien 6]

Our lawyer ADVISED us to do it this way.

Yes. A lawyer told us to break the law. Little did I know at the time it was illegal.

The lawyer we consulted with suggested the same thing. That we go down to Florida and within 30 days, call them saying that we changed our mind and wanted to stay.

[bowflex 0]

Just like in any other instance though it's on the person/couple to find an educated and competent lawyer. My wife's family went with horrible attornies at the beginning yet found a great one right before they left. I ended up researching nearly 50 lawyers and went to quite a few consultations before we went with the one we went with. I checked reviews on the Board website, checked with local people who have used him, and even kind of "interviewed" him. When you go through all that it really helps make you feel safe with the decision you make.

Granted my wife's case was FAR more complicated than most so we actually needed a lawyer but in the end I couldn't be happier with the work he's done so far.

[Hugglebuggles 60]

so to help I left room in our budget for Peachey to make some return trips home

That's a very nice gesture but she won't be able to go home for awhile. Once she comes and married you, she's technically out of status. Once you file AOS, you are in limbo, and she can't leave the US without Advanced Parole or a Green Card. Hence, why it is often so hard.

It seems almost like a grieving process, so I will do my best to be there for her - as I know it's going to be difficult.

Not sure if there's anything else I can do.... with a hurt like that she'll just need some time.

For me, I'm excited for a few years down the road when I get to move to Canada. I've moved many times, so I don't feel like it will be quite as hard for me.

My family is less close than Peachey's is to her, so that won't impact me as hard. The thing I'll miss most is my job and best friend.

Moving is hard, no matter where you go or who goes. My husband is really refusing to move to Canada. He just doesn't want to because he is too attached to where we live now. Hell, I can't even get him to move to another state. The guy is NUTS about NJ. (you will find that a lot of people from NJ feel the same way...)

But being there for her will be the best thing..and no matter how much she cries, yells, etc., you just have to accept it as part of the process.

My husband is the same way. He is all about Colorado and never wants to leave. Its a nice state but I don't understand how he can be so incredibly attached to it, especially considering he wasn't even living here when I first met him. Getting him to move to another state wouldn't happen! To Canada? Unlikely. I wish he wouldn't be so stubborn sometimes. Its interesting how so many Americans feel so connected to the state they are living, but in Canada I never once felt like I could never leave Ontario and it was the perfect place to be.

The K1 actually feels a lot easier to me. I would hate to be living here with no SSN, no DL, no money and no permission to work. It's no way to live! Sure, you're together, but are you really living??

Hey! That sounds EXACTLY like the K-1 process.

Sounds a lot like my K-1 process! Except for that last part... but its hard to have that when you're missing the other too.

[Kittyfang 6]

Right. And I think people, in general, need to make a bigger distinction between doing what someone like I did, and simply overstaying. I was only there for 3 months before we got married so I wasn't even close to an overstay.

Completely agree that a distinction should be made. If someone is visiting for a few months and actually does get married on a whim or spur of the moment, by all means that should be allowed and I've got no problem with that. If someone, however, has the intent to marry when they cross the border and just plans on filing for AOS, I think they should be permanently banned and if the significant other knew and participated in that plan, they should also face heavy fines and a loss of their sponsorship rights.

I'm not really jealous of those who go through AOS about anything other than the fact that they get to spend time with their significant other while the process is going on. Now I was EXTREMELY lucky and only lived about 45 minutes to an hour away from my wife during our process, but it is in no way, shape, or form fair for someone to get around the process by lying and committing fraud.

In the end, if it was done in the way that the law states is legal, good for those folks and I wish them nothing but the best

And those who overstay and live here illegally for 2.5 years.

And keep making newly titled and worded threads asking the same question in the upper forums seeking some sort of validation

Lol I need to spend more time here to get to know the inside information

They're talking about me, hun.

What I did was come to visit my (then) boyfriend. We loved (and still do) being together so we decided to get married.

The thing that pisses these people off is that I overstayed, by a lot (2.5 years as someone so graciously mentioned). We were not aware of the rules and the forms we had to file.

We were part of the group of people that thought "well we're married now, get a SSN, get to work and let's live happy every after".

The problem is that because someone knows the rules and forms, they believe everyone should know them as well. That because someone went one route, another person can't do anything different.

Believe me, now I know exactly what is illegal and what isn't, but I'm here now. I might as well get some money together and aply for AoS. They don't like that.

[Sprailenes 47]

I hate stupid people.

[bowflex 0]

They're talking about me, hun.

What I did was come to visit my (then) boyfriend. We loved (and still do) being together so we decided to get married.

The thing that pisses these people off is that I overstayed, by a lot (2.5 years as someone so graciously mentioned). We were not aware of the rules and the forms we had to file.

We were part of the group of people that thought "well we're married now, get a SSN, get to work and let's live happy every after".

The problem is that because someone knows the rules and forms, they believe everyone should know them as well. That because someone went one route, another person can't do anything different.

Believe me, now I know exactly what is illegal and what isn't, but I'm here now. I might as well get some money together and aply for AoS. They don't like that.

With the overstay and everything did you have to go with a waiver and everything? I didn't mean to start any fights or anything, I'm just curious as my wife was charged with an overstay from her original case with her parents even though we had documentation showing that wasn't the case. Was a HUGE headache and really drove the way we had to handle the entire case.

[Kittyfang 6]

I hate stupid people.

At least we agree on something.

They're talking about me, hun.

What I did was come to visit my (then) boyfriend. We loved (and still do) being together so we decided to get married.

The thing that pisses these people off is that I overstayed, by a lot (2.5 years as someone so graciously mentioned). We were not aware of the rules and the forms we had to file.

We were part of the group of people that thought "well we're married now, get a SSN, get to work and let's live happy every after".

The problem is that because someone knows the rules and forms, they believe everyone should know them as well. That because someone went one route, another person can't do anything different.

Believe me, now I know exactly what is illegal and what isn't, but I'm here now. I might as well get some money together and aply for AoS. They don't like that.

With the overstay and everything did you have to go with a waiver and everything? I didn't mean to start any fights or anything, I'm just curious as my wife was charged with an overstay from her original case with her parents even though we had documentation showing that wasn't the case. Was a HUGE headache and really drove the way we had to handle the entire case.

Well I haven't filed yet. That is why there are so many posts with my name. I'm still gathering information. But, from what I've seen, and from talking with other people, I'm told that the overstay isn't really an issue in my case (marrying and then adjusting).

[lgg 2]

well Kittyfang...

If that's the case, why not just go and do it rather than coming 'round and making yourself a target? Just asking not trying to be rude.

Go do your thing, don't care what stranger's think of you but stay out of the way if you don't want to play, you know?

Well I haven't filed yet. That is why there are so many posts with my name. I'm still gathering information. But, from what I've seen, and from talking with other people, I'm told that the overstay isn't really an issue in my case (marrying and then adjusting).

[trailmix 77]

They're talking about me, hun.

What I did was come to visit my (then) boyfriend. We loved (and still do) being together so we decided to get married.

The thing that pisses these people off is that I overstayed, by a lot (2.5 years as someone so graciously mentioned). We were not aware of the rules and the forms we had to file.

We were part of the group of people that thought "well we're married now, get a SSN, get to work and let's live happy every after".

The problem is that because someone knows the rules and forms, they believe everyone should know them as well. That because someone went one route, another person can't do anything different.

Believe me, now I know exactly what is illegal and what isn't, but I'm here now. I might as well get some money together and aply for AoS. They don't like that.

I don't want in on this fight, but also want to say that I don't think there is anything wrong with you adjusting status. According to what you state, you went to the U.S. just to visit, not to stay, you decided to get married and you are adjusting status - nothing wrong with that, all perfectly legal.

However. From what you have alluded to in your posts - at somewhere along the line you did know you were supposed to adjust status - that you somehow needed to make your residence 'legal' and you chose not to - until now.

Now, you also mentioned in another post that you couldn't enrol in school or get a job etc etc - because you do not have legal status in the U.S. - I assumed from that post that at the very least, at that point, you knew that you were in the U.S. illegally?

My point is, you broke the laws of that country. You entered as a visitor and overstayed, that is against the law - at some point you realized what you were doing and did it anyway.

As I mentioned in one of your other threads, I wouldn't support someone coming to Canada and staying illegally - in fact it would be rather weird if everyone was rallying behind you breaking the law....don't you think....

[Kittyfang 6]

well Kittyfang...

If that's the case, why not just go and do it rather than coming 'round and making yourself a target? Just asking not trying to be rude.

Go do your thing, don't care what stranger's think of you but stay out of the way if you don't want to play, you know?

Well I haven't filed yet. That is why there are so many posts with my name. I'm still gathering information. But, from what I've seen, and from talking with other people, I'm told that the overstay isn't really an issue in my case (marrying and then adjusting).

Because, last time I checked I was still a member of this forum and have yet to be driven out by the desktop bullies.

I'm fairly certain that at least ONE of my posts bring interesting questions, or help other people.

Oh what the heck, I'll just side with you guys instead and mock the little people that come around hypocritically asking benign questions.

[Kittyfang 6]

They're talking about me, hun.

What I did was come to visit my (then) boyfriend. We loved (and still do) being together so we decided to get married.

The thing that pisses these people off is that I overstayed, by a lot (2.5 years as someone so graciously mentioned). We were not aware of the rules and the forms we had to file.

We were part of the group of people that thought "well we're married now, get a SSN, get to work and let's live happy every after".

The problem is that because someone knows the rules and forms, they believe everyone should know them as well. That because someone went one route, another person can't do anything different.

Believe me, now I know exactly what is illegal and what isn't, but I'm here now. I might as well get some money together and aply for AoS. They don't like that.

I don't want in on this fight, but also want to say that I don't think there is anything wrong with you adjusting status. According to what you state, you went to the U.S. just to visit, not to stay, you decided to get married and you are adjusting status - nothing wrong with that, all perfectly legal.

However. From what you have alluded to in your posts - at somewhere along the line you did know you were supposed to adjust status - that you somehow needed to make your residence 'legal' and you chose not to - until now.

Now, you also mentioned in another post that you couldn't enrol in school or get a job etc etc - because you do not have legal status in the U.S. - I assumed from that post that at the very least, at that point, you knew that you were in the U.S. illegally?

My point is, you broke the laws of that country. You entered as a visitor and overstayed, that is against the law - at some point you realized what you were doing and did it anyway.

As I mentioned in one of your other threads, I wouldn't support someone coming to Canada and staying illegally - in fact it would be rather weird if everyone was rallying behind you breaking the law....don't you think....

Honestly, I could care less if someone went to Canada and broke the law. See, I'm not omniscient. I don't know everyone's story, so I don't comment on it.

As for me, no money, for 2 years, means no AoS for 2 years. And quite frankly, I could care less who approves of this.

[trailmix 77]

Honestly, I could care less if someone went to Canada and broke the law. See, I'm not omniscient. I don't know everyone's story, so I don't comment on it.

As for me, no money, for 2 years, means no AoS for 2 years. And quite frankly, I could care less who approves of this.

And that's ok, i'm glad you did answer the question. I think that it is good that you clarified for everyone where you stand. You don't mind breaking the law and you don't care if others do as well.

I think that before anyone else bothers to have a go at you that they understand this part of your moral compass - because really folks, you are wasting your typing.

[Sprailenes 47]

Tis true. kittyfang is a ####### about this entire process and I hope karma bites her in the #######.

I really do.

[Kittyfang 6]

Honestly, I could care less if someone went to Canada and broke the law. See, I'm not omniscient. I don't know everyone's story, so I don't comment on it.

As for me, no money, for 2 years, means no AoS for 2 years. And quite frankly, I could care less who approves of this.

And that's ok, i'm glad you did answer the question. I think that it is good that you clarified for everyone where you stand. You don't mind breaking the law and you don't care if others do as well.

I think that before anyone else bothers to have a go at you that they understand this part of your moral compass - because really folks, you are wasting your typing.

Sorry for the delay in replying, I had to spit out all those words you crammed in mouth...

No one ever said I don't care about breaking the law. I said, I don't care if people approve of it or not. My moral compass is doing very well. Thank you

Tis true. kittyfang is a ####### about this entire process and I hope karma bites her in the #######.

I really do.

What does karma say about wishing bad things to other people.