You moved to the U.S. to be with your SO

[trailmix 77]

This is true, but they are starting to sell beer in certain supermarkets, but under bar rules, which means you can purchase up to 2 six packs at a time. So if you need more, you take your purchase to the car and go back in for more. There is one market by me in Lansdale that has that, and I got a flyer in the mail recently about a Wegmans opening up in Collegeville soon that will have a restaurant where you can buy beer to drink in the store and I believe for take out as well.

Ok this made me laugh! (warning - off topic) - it's so hypocritical how government agencies put in a silly regulation like this to make themselves look like they are doing something about the 'demon alcohol'

I'm sure the 'breaking news' was something along the lives of "Government enacts strict regulations on the purchase of alcohol in Supermarkets!" they didn't go on to say "so if you are planning on partying all weekend, be sure to wear your cross trainers as you are going to have to walk back and forth to your car a lot"

I don't argue or state my opinion too much on public forums for this reason. Half the time I can't be bothered to argue with people, other times it's cause people read things totally the wrong way.

I don't consider the FEELING of missing home as immature, but when you verbally express "I'm giving up everything" to say how you feel(especially to your SO)....it's just not a good way to put it.

That's just my opinion. Back to people's stories......

You know what CDAgirl, if stuff you are saying is causing an argument half the time and the other half of the time people are reading it the wrong way, perhaps it's in the wording?

If you come in to a thread and insult the people posting by stating they are immature, guaranteed you can expect a backlash. Now I don't know if you just don't give a damn if you insult someone or you do and you just worded what you had to say badly - but expect a backlash if you insult people.

[Danu 19]

Aero-completely understandable. I'm sure moving from the west to the east of any country is probably similiar to moving countries all together!

I think why some comments in this thread have got me so heated, is because we are all humans and we each express things different ways. I'm very outright with my feelings, I say what I feel at all times. My husband actually likes that, because then he knows where I stand and we don't have to do a dance for months on end about what is actually going on underneath it all. It appears that if any one's spouse would get upset or hurt because of what their spouse is feeling, maybe there is an insecurity factor there.

And, it's my opinion that one should never hold feelings in or sugar coat things so that their spouse's feelings don't get hurt. That's just covering up your own hurt and I think many of us have done enough for our spouse that we shouldn't have to cover our feelings up too.

This entire process is difficult for each party involved. I think every one can agree on that. But I lost a lot of opportunities when I moved. I left all my work contacts, my school contacts behind...trying to even recoup those things now is really difficult.

I am the same way and my Fiance also likes it. He doesn't feel he has to play games with me to figure out what is actually bothering me. In fact if at any time I don't say something, he can tell if I'm feeling bothered and kind of prods me till I do talk, which is nice...he actually cares! I had a long talk with him about this convo and I definately think its a lot in how you say it too if you do. If you say it when your explaining how you feel thats one thing. If you're like "I gave up everything so your should do XXXXX" thats a whole different story.

[CDAgirlMI 51]

I didn't mean to insult anyone on here. What I said was obviously mis-read by a few because I wasn't looking for an argument.

[OBX 51]

THXS Krikit! I love your guide. It is now pasted on the front of my fridge to make life easier for my husband!

LOL. I wish I'd put more effort into it now.

No worries, it's great the way it is! My husband's first comment was "I think you have been at the last stage more than once lately! I guess I owe you a ticket home? "

Edited October 2, 2009 by OBX

[redmen99 1]

One of the big supermarkets here is Acme. Every time the hubby comes grocery shopping with me, he expects to find anvils and large holes for sale.... I'm thinking he watched too much TV as a kid...

I had to share...

[thetreble 19]

haha Your hubbie isn't the only one! We have a few ACME offices here and every time I see one, I think the EXACT same thing. I had no clue it was a real company.

[Misty1979 0]

I don't argue or state my opinion too much on public forums for this reason. Half the time I can't be bothered to argue with people, other times it's cause people read things totally the wrong way.

I don't consider the FEELING of missing home as immature, but when you verbally express "I'm giving up everything" to say how you feel(especially to your SO)....it's just not a good way to put it.

That's just my opinion. Back to people's stories......

Nope, not yet. I don't think you can pipe in and then decide when the conversation is over.

I have verbally said to my husband a few times that sometimes I FEEL like I have giving everything up to be here because...I gave up my job...I gave up the ability to see family and friends..I gave up the ability to be happy in my native country. Can you explain to me how else I would describe the situation other than "giving up" when that is what you are doing?

There is this assumption going around this topic that move to America to start a new life....I didn't move to the US to start over or start a new life..I moved because I had no other choice if I wanted to be with my significant other. I still WANT my old life, it's just not possible. I really don't think that's my fault either or is it immature.

There should be a warning label on your avatar, thetreble. I pretty much choked on my breakfast reading this, and it's not the first time you've almost killed me with your blunt way of correcting someone lol.

I love this forum way too much sometimes

[thetreble 19]

There should be a warning label on your avatar, thetreble. I pretty much choked on my breakfast reading this, and it's not the first time you've almost killed me with your blunt way of correcting someone lol.

I love this forum way too much sometimes

Tee- Hee

I just like being honest, that's all.

[The_Dude 1,142]

But in reality, it is really easy, especially on teh internets to decide that a conversation is over

[thetreble 19]

But in reality, it is really easy, especially on teh internets to decide that a conversation is over

It's easy to decide after you make some questionable points and then run away by saying "it's over! no further comment!"..I was just bringing it back, that's all.

[The_Dude 1,142]

But in reality, it is really easy, especially on teh internets to decide that a conversation is over

It's easy to decide after you make some questionable points and then run away by saying "it's over! no further comment!"..I was just bringing it back, that's all.

Yes, you can carry on the conversation, but from her end, she could easily end it by simply not reading this thread again.

Back on topic, Mel has had the "I gave everything up to move here" moments a few times. Normally, I just nod and say "I know you did, and I love you for that" and just try to listen to her vent. But once or twice, I have come back with "I volunteered to move there when we first started this. You were the one who said no, that you wanted to move down here. We have talked about what this would entail and you knew what to expect"...... which was quickly followed with an "I'm sorry, I love you".

[thetreble 19]

Which is a perfectly normal conversation, I think. Although my husband did not volunteer to move to Canada...he says it's too cold. No honestly..that's his big reason.

[Dan and Ali 3]

But in reality, it is really easy, especially on teh internets to decide that a conversation is over

It's easy to decide after you make some questionable points and then run away by saying "it's over! no further comment!"..I was just bringing it back, that's all.

Yes, you can carry on the conversation, but from her end, she could easily end it by simply not reading this thread again.

Back on topic, Mel has had the "I gave everything up to move here" moments a few times. Normally, I just nod and say "I know you did, and I love you for that" and just try to listen to her vent. But once or twice, I have come back with "I volunteered to move there when we first started this. You were the one who said no, that you wanted to move down here. We have talked about what this would entail and you knew what to expect"...... which was quickly followed with an "I'm sorry, I love you".

I think that's the best way you can go about it ... just be as supportive and understanding as possible. Everyone has bad days and certain times are worse than others (when I lived overseas I found holidays really hard). I'm certain your wife really appreciates your patience and understanding.

[thetreble 19]

I'm sure she does. Edited October 3, 2009 by thetreble

[Carlawarla 1]

When I first moved down, I think it went very well. Our wedding was still a few months away, so I was involved with getting ready for the wedding. I also knew my kids were going to be here for the wedding as well, so I didn't have too much time to spend thinking of what I had left. I had just retired from my job as well, a day before I left was my left day of work, so I felt like I was on vacation!

After the wedding though, I started to get a bit homesick. This still occurs, however less often. It seems to strike me at funny moments. Everything will be good, and moving quite nicely, then I have a very sad day and spend an inordinate amount of time thinking of my kids, my life back in Canada, missing all the things I want to see, feel, and taste. I have a little cry. I always tell Gene when I'm having one of these days, and he's especially generous and attentive which helps.

I just got back from Ontario, visiting my folks, and my daughter who flew in to meet me. I realize now, it's the people, not so much the places that I miss. Although I've only been back to Saskatchewan once since I've moved, and that was my home, so being in Ontario, which I find far too crazy, and way too many people and cars, only reaffirms my belief that this is now my home in St. Louis.

I will always be homesick for my kids, who I saw everyday when I lived back in Canada. Even when they moved away from home several years ago, I'd still see or hear from them everyday. This I truly miss more than anything.