preparing to file

[ally and moh 3]

This whole process has been so emotionally draining that I really don't see how a couple who DOES NOT love each other can go thru it. It's an emotional roller coaster, and without his love and support, there are days that I would not have made it thru.

Staying here with him is wonderful, but I have children and work in the US, so that is where we really want to be.

I know the road ahead of us is long and hard and having to feel like we need to constantly prove our relationship is really getting old. But we keep saving every phone record, email, card, etc, because we know it is the only way. And honestly from some of the things I have seen on here, I think we spend more time together than most couples when we are living apart. It all just seems like a bad dream sometimes. But then I see this wonderful man I married and I know we will keep pushing on!

[LaL 418]

This whole process has been so emotionally draining that I really don't see how a couple who DOES NOT love each other can go thru it.

it happens. a lot.

[al-Hubb jameel 0]

Ok Guys, sorry if i came accross as abrupt, Alice had confided in me how upset they felt by some of these comments so I wanted to stick up for my dear friend and her husband. I do not mean any harm, and thank you for explaining more that you were NOT picking on her, you were just looking out for her.

I am happy everyone is so supportive of her and of each other. So that being said...I can only imagine how difficut it is NOT to have the support of the family behind them and it is good you made her aware that it may come up at the interview so they can be prepared. Also she still has like a month there so there is time to bridge some relationships, inshaallah.

Alice and Moh, enjoy your time together in Amman as husband and wife and make every second count!!! I am back in USA now and so sad to be back. Love you guys. xoxoxo

no problem, I realized that you were just looking out for her feelings

I wish nothing but the best for Ally.

Thanks for understanding!

[pushbrk 12,569]

This whole process has been so emotionally draining that I really don't see how a couple who DOES NOT love each other can go thru it.

it happens. a lot.

If by "it" you mean "couples who don't love each other going through the process", you bet it does. Usually, only one of them has love in the other in their heart but sometimes neither.

On-topic though, time spent together in person is the strongest evidence of a bona fide relationship. Whether that's enough to overcome the red flag issues is yet to be seen. I wish them success on the second try.

[al-Hubb jameel 0]

This whole process has been so emotionally draining that I really don't see how a couple who DOES NOT love each other can go thru it. It's an emotional roller coaster, and without his love and support, there are days that I would not have made it thru.

Staying here with him is wonderful, but I have children and work in the US, so that is where we really want to be.

I know the road ahead of us is long and hard and having to feel like we need to constantly prove our relationship is really getting old. But we keep saving every phone record, email, card, etc, because we know it is the only way. And honestly from some of the things I have seen on here, I think we spend more time together than most couples when we are living apart. It all just seems like a bad dream sometimes. But then I see this wonderful man I married and I know we will keep pushing on!

May God be with you both! And Moh loves the picture of you in hjab. He showed me last night online, he could not stop talking about how beautiful you were with it. Maybe your willingness to adapt to certain cultural or religious norms will help you with his family ties. You have stressed how religious and traditional they are and last time they just didn't have the chance to know the real you since maybe all they saw was an American coming to take their son and submit him to a life of sin.

[ya falaha! 0]

Agreed. Plus, one partner could be in love and the other may not. People will do a lot of things to get what they want. Including "loving" someone.

This whole process has been so emotionally draining that I really don't see how a couple who DOES NOT love each other can go thru it.

it happens. a lot.

[ally and moh 3]

I hope this is not a suggestion that my husband does not love me. I have been married and been in relationships before, so I know what it feels like to be played. Let me assure everyone here that he does love me. Just read what my friend posted who flew here with me. She has seen us together.

It may be easy to lie to someone online, but living together proves things. I am in a country where I do not even speak the language. I am completely dependent on him for everything, and he has been wonderful. Not to mention the fact that I live with a chronic illness known as lupus and he has been willing to accept anything that may come up that, also. I am not going into detail, but it is not always easy. He is more of a man than any I have known before, and he is NOT here just for a free pass to the US!

And the way we went about our marriage, and not telling his family now, was partly for our own personal reasons... We wanted this time all to ourselves, and his family will know before I leave. But for now, we just want to enjoy being alone.

[pushbrk 12,569]

I hope this is not a suggestion that my husband does not love me. I have been married and been in relationships before, so I know what it feels like to be played. Let me assure everyone here that he does love me. Just read what my friend posted who flew here with me. She has seen us together.

It may be easy to lie to someone online, but living together proves things. I am in a country where I do not even speak the language. I am completely dependent on him for everything, and he has been wonderful. Not to mention the fact that I live with a chronic illness known as lupus and he has been willing to accept anything that may come up that, also. I am not going into detail, but it is not always easy. He is more of a man than any I have known before, and he is NOT here just for a free pass to the US!

And the way we went about our marriage, and not telling his family now, was partly for our own personal reasons... We wanted this time all to ourselves, and his family will know before I leave. But for now, we just want to enjoy being alone.

None of these statements mentioned your relationship. They are in response to your statement of how you didn't understand how people not in love could endure the process. We're just letting you know that many do. The "how" for those without love, is that they aren't emotionally involved. They just pretend to be.

[al-Hubb jameel 0]

Ally Hon, don't worry. I don't think they are refering to you. They are talking about just in general how there is fraud and how sometimes one person will use another person to get what he/she wants, and pretend to love them.

You and Moh love each other, and that is what counts. Now please get off of VJ before you drive yourself insane and go enjoy your husband.

[ally and moh 3]

Ally Hon, don't worry. I don't think they are refering to you. They are talking about just in general how there is fraud and how sometimes one person will use another person to get what he/she wants, and pretend to love them.

You and Moh love each other, and that is what counts. Now please get off of VJ before you drive yourself insane and go enjoy your husband.

Wish he wasn't at work... that's when this thing gets me!! LOL

And sorry to be so defensive. It's just after that interview, I feel like all I have done is try to PROVE everything!

And the saddest thing is... we really don't have a clear answer as to why we were denied!

[Y's_habibitk 2]

Ally Hon, don't worry. I don't think they are refering to you. They are talking about just in general how there is fraud and how sometimes one person will use another person to get what he/she wants, and pretend to love them.

You and Moh love each other, and that is what counts. Now please get off of VJ before you drive yourself insane and go enjoy your husband.

Wish he wasn't at work... that's when this thing gets me!! LOL

And sorry to be so defensive. It's just after that interview, I feel like all I have done is try to PROVE everything!

And the saddest thing is... we really don't have a clear answer as to why we were denied!

From everything you have said about it and the comments from the CO, its probably documented under "for immigration purposes only" IE- fraud

or do you mean why the CO came to that conclusion?

[al-Hubb jameel 0]

Ally Hon, don't worry. I don't think they are refering to you. They are talking about just in general how there is fraud and how sometimes one person will use another person to get what he/she wants, and pretend to love them.

You and Moh love each other, and that is what counts. Now please get off of VJ before you drive yourself insane and go enjoy your husband.

Wish he wasn't at work... that's when this thing gets me!! LOL

And sorry to be so defensive. It's just after that interview, I feel like all I have done is try to PROVE everything!

And the saddest thing is... we really don't have a clear answer as to why we were denied!

I totally understand and would feel the same way if I were in your shoes! And I can only imagine how frustrating that is. Personally I have a theory after seeing your story, and researching others...I THINK that it is very difficult for the male beneficiary to be approved in Jordan for the fiancé visa if the fiancée is not present at the interview. Just my own theory and maybe I am wrong. But after knowing you and Moh and seeing your denial one month ahead of my own habibi’s interview, I knew that I HAD to be at that interview with him no matter what.

[ally and moh 3]

Ally Hon, don't worry. I don't think they are refering to you. They are talking about just in general how there is fraud and how sometimes one person will use another person to get what he/she wants, and pretend to love them.

You and Moh love each other, and that is what counts. Now please get off of VJ before you drive yourself insane and go enjoy your husband.

Wish he wasn't at work... that's when this thing gets me!! LOL

And sorry to be so defensive. It's just after that interview, I feel like all I have done is try to PROVE everything!

And the saddest thing is... we really don't have a clear answer as to why we were denied!

I totally understand and would feel the same way if I were in your shoes! And I can only imagine how frustrating that is. Personally I have a theory after seeing your story, and researching others...I THINK that it is very difficult for the male beneficiary to be approved in Jordan for the fiancé visa if the fiancée is not present at the interview. Just my own theory and maybe I am wrong. But after knowing you and Moh and seeing your denial one month ahead of my own habibi’s interview, I knew that I HAD to be at that interview with him no matter what.

It may sound a little crazy... but at least we still got married WHEN we wanted to, even if it wasn't WHERE we planned. I try to look at the good things in this. It's what I have to do!

[al-Hubb jameel 0]

That's a great additude Alice!! And if you would have gotten married in USA you probably would not have gotten a 6 week honey-moon, lucky girl!! I really do hope though, that you do get a chance to know his family. Let his mom show you how to cook his favorite dishes, spend time with his brothers and sisters, play with his neices and nephews. I love my habibi's family and it really is so wonderful and special to belong to them. I just want all the best for you Alice, and for you to get everything you can from your experience. xoxoxo