converting - or not

[gaeliza 0]

To answer the OP, whatever you or anyone decides, it should be because it was something that person wanted, and found a peace with... not for anyone's sake, or fitting in, or looking good, etc. Everyone should stick to a religion and lifestyle which suites them. I think most people in the world, are labeled one religion or another, but they aren't really that religion. Is a Muslim that doesn't pray, fast, or abide by the rules really a Muslim? Or just labeled one? Is a Hindu that eats beef and doesn't believe in reincarnation really a Hindu? It's something to ponder... I often wonder if someone picks and chooses what they like of a religion and leave off things they dont' like...are they really of that religion??? Or have they created their own religion by doing so? Does religion require an all or nothing approach? Lots of things to think about after reading some of these posts. I think I've found some good conversation/debate for my husband tonight

CnT4ever,

I wasn't asking people so I could make a decision. It's just something I've been thinking about alot lately, and was curious about others' thoughts. I just don't really have people to discuss this with, and thought it would be something interesting to do online. I also figured this group would be a good place to do it, since we're more likely to understand than the people who live around me. I was right! I mentioned before, and want to mention again that I'm really impressed how civil everyone has been!

I think you had a really good point - most people probably aren't very strict about their religions - at least from what I can tell. I know in my case, I was only exposed to Catholicism, and was led to believe that "we" were "right", and everyone else was delusional. I wouldn't choose Catholicism if it wasn't "assigned" to me. I haven't found a religion that I want to choose. If people ask, I usually just say "I was raised Catholic" because getting into a long conversation isn't usually the best idea. First of all, most people don't really want to know - kind of like "how are you?", they just want a short, simple answer. Not only that, but you just never know how people will react, and I am rarely in the mood to deal with people's possible reactions to what I might say. Especially if it's someone in my family! I love my relatives, but... this is not something I want to debate with them. And trust me, it WOULD be a debate. Sigh.

I love that I've been able to post without being attacked, and that so many have shared their thoughts with me - and that they haven't been attacked either. This is just the kind of interaction I've been craving!

I don't know if I'll ever "pick" a religion, but at least I've come to terms with the idea of not really identifying with one. It sounds like there are a few other people here with the same situation. Makes me feel almost normal!

I guess it's good that most parents teach their children about "A" religion, even if the children don't always end up agreeing with it. We need guidance when we're young, until we can make our own decisions about things. I just wish that there wasn't this thing attached to it - the concept that if we decide to follow another religion when we're older, that we're going to Hell or something like that. We call it "Catholic guilt", but I don't think Catholics are the only ones who do it to their children!

I'm sure many people just don't really think about it, or at least don't think about it for certain parts of your life. That was me for many years - just disassociated myself from the whole thing. Hearing my husband talk about God just brought it into my thoughts, and I think that's a good thing. My husband's faith has brought me closer to God, and I appreciate that, and have thanked him for that many times.

Well, I think some people DO think that religion is an all or nothing thing, and that's what I used to believe, too. Now I don't think so. I'm sure some people will disagree with me, but I think it's ok to pick and choose what I think is "right". Then again, I don't consider myself to be a member of any religion either. And part of that is because I can't consider myself part of religion if I don't completely agree with it. If others want to consider themselves part of a religion they don't really follow, that doesn't bother me. That's something we need to decide on our own. Then again, I can understand how an observant member of a religion might not be too thrilled about someone who identifies themselves as part of that religion but don't take it seriously.

I'm a "to each his own" kind of person.

Anyway, thanks to everyone for the conversation. I hope to have more!

venusfire

This is such an interesting discussion. I reverted to Islam 2 years before I met my husband. It was my decision and was not based on any other aspect other than this is what I believe. There are many people who question Islam and I am heavily involved in what we call da'waah, which is getting the information out there to those who want to hear it. But I also believe that no one should try to convince another to believe one way or another, because that kind of belief does not come from the heart. I think that when we question things we need to seek the answers that will satisfy our needs. I think most religions believe that there will come a day of judgement and if you believe that, then only we can justify our own actions. I believe we stand before God alone. In regards to my husband, we believe that we serve God as one person. Thanks for bringing up such an interesting topic.

[morocco4ever 63]

The Christian religion that I was raised in believes that God and Jesus are two separate entities. So to me, God and Allah are one and the same. Jesus was a Prophet. Of course some have debated that my old religion should not be considered Christianity.

M4E...

I had a really funny sarcastic comment, then I realized where I was.... *keeps to myself*

Would love to hear your thoughts...if ya know what I mean.

[Nothing1234 2]

The Christian religion that I was raised in believes that God and Jesus are two separate entities. So to me, God and Allah are one and the same. Jesus was a Prophet. Of course some have debated that my old religion should not be considered Christianity.

M4E...

I had a really funny sarcastic comment, then I realized where I was.... *keeps to myself*

Would love to hear your thoughts...if ya know what I mean.

I've communicated "telepathically" to you!

[morocco4ever 63]

The Christian religion that I was raised in believes that God and Jesus are two separate entities. So to me, God and Allah are one and the same. Jesus was a Prophet. Of course some have debated that my old religion should not be considered Christianity.

M4E...

I had a really funny sarcastic comment, then I realized where I was.... *keeps to myself*

Would love to hear your thoughts...if ya know what I mean.

I've communicated "telepathically" to you!

Telepathy message received.

[~PalmTreeGurl~ 154]

The Christian religion that I was raised in believes that God and Jesus are two separate entities. So to me, God and Allah are one and the same. Jesus was a Prophet. Of course some have debated that my old religion should not be considered Christianity.

M4E...

I had a really funny sarcastic comment, then I realized where I was.... *keeps to myself*

Would love to hear your thoughts...if ya know what I mean.

I've communicated "telepathically" to you!

Telepathy message received.

any chance it can be intercepted?

[Nothing1234 2]

The Christian religion that I was raised in believes that God and Jesus are two separate entities. So to me, God and Allah are one and the same. Jesus was a Prophet. Of course some have debated that my old religion should not be considered Christianity.

M4E...

I had a really funny sarcastic comment, then I realized where I was.... *keeps to myself*

Would love to hear your thoughts...if ya know what I mean.

I've communicated "telepathically" to you!

Telepathy message received.

any chance it can be intercepted?

Only if you purchase a copy of this book like we have! (I love how it says: Impress Women... )

Okay...sorry for hijacking the thread!

[morocco4ever 63]

The Christian religion that I was raised in believes that God and Jesus are two separate entities. So to me, God and Allah are one and the same. Jesus was a Prophet. Of course some have debated that my old religion should not be considered Christianity.

M4E...

I had a really funny sarcastic comment, then I realized where I was.... *keeps to myself*

Would love to hear your thoughts...if ya know what I mean.

I've communicated "telepathically" to you!

Telepathy message received.

Who would write a book like that anyway? Only a man. Sorry...I derailed the thread too.

any chance it can be intercepted?

Only if you purchase a copy of this book like we have! (I love how it says: Impress Women... )

Okay...sorry for hijacking the thread!

[hassan_debbie 4]

I personally believe if you're strong in your faith and truely believe what your religion teaches then it's impossible to convert.

I am a Christian and there's not a chance I'd convert.

[SimoFati 0]

I know that there are many Muslim/non-Muslim relationships in MENA (like mine), and others that start out that way until (usually) the (non-Muslim) woman converts. Of course, there are also some that are Muslim/Muslim from the start - either both born into it, or conversion came before the relationship.

I know that there is the perception out there that people (again, mainly women) convert just because they marry a Muslim. While I'm sure that does happen (and I'm sure some of them regret it and/or abandon it, some don't think much about it, and others find it was actually a good choice for themselves after all), I'm also sure that many do it for very good, solid reasons that may or may not have anything to do with their SO.

I remember someone mentioning that she converted before meeting her SO, because she researched Islam after 9/11 (sorry if I'm not getting the details quite right) out of curiosity, and realized that it was right for her. I thought that was a beautiful story, and I'm happy I heard about it.

I'm very interested in hearing other stories, from anyone who would like to share. I hope I don't offend anyone by asking, and very sincerely hope that asking isn't an offense to the religion. I have good intentions. Yes, I want to hear some heart warming/inspriational stories, but I also think that maybe there are people out there who would like to share.

I was brought up Catholic, and my husband is Muslim. I've had people ask me about converting, but I honestly don't feel the urge to do it. I actually don't feel drawn to any specific religion, at least not right now. I don't attend religious services, but I do pray, thank God, talk about God to my children, we say grace... things like that. I do practice the Islamic lifestyle to an extent - I don't drink, I avoid pork/gelatin for the most part, do my best to be respectful of my husband and myself, fast during Ramadan... things like that. I feel better about myself, doing it. Some might wonder why I don't convert, then. My only answer, which I say with the utmost respect (and I apologize if it doesn't come across that way) is that I just don't agree with all aspects of Islam. I honestly don't agree with Catholocism either, which is why I haven't really practiced it for a long time. Some might consider me a bad person for "picking and choosing" certain aspects, but I really don't know if anyone adheres 100% to any religion. I KNOW I'm not perfect, but I'm doing my best. If others want to judge me, that's their issue, not mine.

Anyway, if anyone would like to tell about their conversion - or not converting - please do so. Feel free to tell why you did or didn't - what led you to your decision. For those who didn't, did you (like me) contemplate it at all? What was/were the deciding factor or factors? If you did convert, do you have any information you'd like to add - where, when, how you converted? For example, some might have done it very informally, maybe others had some type of ceremony? I'm just really curious - and this is something I've been thinking about quite a bit lately.

If I upset anyone, I am very sorry. I hope this can be a peaceful thread!

venusfire

Sorry, I haven't read all the replies and this may have been a repeat.. As a muslim that grow up muslim, I tell you one thing if you choose to be a Muslim it shouldn't be to please anyone. you must be 200% sure that islam is the way of life that you want. you do it for YOURSELF , not your husband, buddy or who ever. you do it to please ALLAH; the only GOd. if you are interested in other's stories and how they found islam, I would suggest www.turntoislam.com.

best of luck and may Allah guide all of us to the straight path.

[SimoFati 0]

To answer the OP, whatever you or anyone decides, it should be because it was something that person wanted, and found a peace with... not for anyone's sake, or fitting in, or looking good, etc. Everyone should stick to a religion and lifestyle which suites them. I think most people in the world, are labeled one religion or another, but they aren't really that religion. Is a Muslim that doesn't pray, fast, or abide by the rules really a Muslim? Or just labeled one? Is a Hindu that eats beef and doesn't believe in reincarnation really a Hindu? It's something to ponder... I often wonder if someone picks and chooses what they like of a religion and leave off things they dont' like...are they really of that religion??? Or have they created their own religion by doing so? Does religion require an all or nothing approach? Lots of things to think about after reading some of these posts. I think I've found some good conversation/debate for my husband tonight

CnT4ever,

I wasn't asking people so I could make a decision. It's just something I've been thinking about alot lately, and was curious about others' thoughts. I just don't really have people to discuss this with, and thought it would be something interesting to do online. I also figured this group would be a good place to do it, since we're more likely to understand than the people who live around me. I was right! I mentioned before, and want to mention again that I'm really impressed how civil everyone has been!

I think you had a really good point - most people probably aren't very strict about their religions - at least from what I can tell. I know in my case, I was only exposed to Catholicism, and was led to believe that "we" were "right", and everyone else was delusional. I wouldn't choose Catholicism if it wasn't "assigned" to me. I haven't found a religion that I want to choose. If people ask, I usually just say "I was raised Catholic" because getting into a long conversation isn't usually the best idea. First of all, most people don't really want to know - kind of like "how are you?", they just want a short, simple answer. Not only that, but you just never know how people will react, and I am rarely in the mood to deal with people's possible reactions to what I might say. Especially if it's someone in my family! I love my relatives, but... this is not something I want to debate with them. And trust me, it WOULD be a debate. Sigh.

I love that I've been able to post without being attacked, and that so many have shared their thoughts with me - and that they haven't been attacked either. This is just the kind of interaction I've been craving!

I don't know if I'll ever "pick" a religion, but at least I've come to terms with the idea of not really identifying with one. It sounds like there are a few other people here with the same situation. Makes me feel almost normal!

I guess it's good that most parents teach their children about "A" religion, even if the children don't always end up agreeing with it. We need guidance when we're young, until we can make our own decisions about things. I just wish that there wasn't this thing attached to it - the concept that if we decide to follow another religion when we're older, that we're going to Hell or something like that. We call it "Catholic guilt", but I don't think Catholics are the only ones who do it to their children!

I'm sure many people just don't really think about it, or at least don't think about it for certain parts of your life. That was me for many years - just disassociated myself from the whole thing. Hearing my husband talk about God just brought it into my thoughts, and I think that's a good thing. My husband's faith has brought me closer to God, and I appreciate that, and have thanked him for that many times.

Well, I think some people DO think that religion is an all or nothing thing, and that's what I used to believe, too. Now I don't think so. I'm sure some people will disagree with me, but I think it's ok to pick and choose what I think is "right". Then again, I don't consider myself to be a member of any religion either. And part of that is because I can't consider myself part of religion if I don't completely agree with it. If others want to consider themselves part of a religion they don't really follow, that doesn't bother me. That's something we need to decide on our own. Then again, I can understand how an observant member of a religion might not be too thrilled about someone who identifies themselves as part of that religion but don't take it seriously.

I'm a "to each his own" kind of person.

Anyway, thanks to everyone for the conversation. I hope to have more!

venusfire

This is such an interesting discussion. I reverted to Islam 2 years before I met my husband. It was my decision and was not based on any other aspect other than this is what I believe. There are many people who question Islam and I am heavily involved in what we call da'waah, which is getting the information out there to those who want to hear it. But I also believe that no one should try to convince another to believe one way or another, because that kind of belief does not come from the heart. I think that when we question things we need to seek the answers that will satisfy our needs. I think most religions believe that there will come a day of judgement and if you believe that, then only we can justify our own actions. I believe we stand before God alone. In regards to my husband, we believe that we serve God as one person. Thanks for bringing up such an interesting topic.

well said

[tallnpurty 0]

I can understand your point of view very well. My fiance is Muslim and I am a Christian (daughter of a Baptist Pastor at that). My fiance and I respect one another. One of the things that drew us to one another was how similar we are, while being so different at the same time. He is and always will be Muslim and I am and always will be Christian. I respect many aspects of the Muslim faith and I appreciate the fact that my husband was born into such a strong faith that teaches him to respect his wife and himself so much. I also know that my husband understands that I loved Jesus a long time before I ever met him and that my faith is grounded in the Lord. We respect each other beliefs and I believe the fact that there are many similarities between Islam and Christianity makes the differences seem not so extreme.

I'm certain that once we are living in the same house and have to blend our two cultures, the difference will be much more pronounced but we have decided we'd rather be happy than right, so we will continue to respect each others faith. We have also made some other compromises: he will give up smoking before he comes here and I will give up pork. It makes sense for both of us, his faith considers pork to be disgusting and I consider smoking disgusting so its a win-win.

Best of luck to you!

[UmmSqueakster 54]

Anyway, if anyone would like to tell about their conversion - or not converting - please do so. Feel free to tell why you did or didn't - what led you to your decision.

I have something of my conversion process at my blog. It's an ever evolving and changing narrative as I time passes and I reflect more on it.

If you did convert, do you have any information you'd like to add - where, when, how you converted? For example, some might have done it very informally, maybe others had some type of ceremony? I'm just really curious - and this is something I've been thinking about quite a bit lately.

There really wasn't anything too official about it - 2 witnesses, la ilaha il Allah, Muhammadur rasul Allah. I got a conversion certificate from Al Azhar a few years later that made it all official on paper in case the saudi government ever asked for proof of my conversion when I want to make hajj/umrah. Beyond that, it's been a long and interesting road that still takes me new and exciting places.

[~PalmTreeGurl~ 154]

welcome to VJ. One thing that came to my mind that you wrote was at the end regarding him giving up smoking and you giving up pork... I *think most guys say they will give up smoking but hardly actually do it. Smoking is usually an addiction where as eating pork isnt usually an addiction. Its going to be ALOT easier for you to give up eating pork, then him to just get here and quit smoking. Hopefully, if hes serious about quitting smoking he will stop it while in Egypt.

[venusfire503 54]

welcome to VJ. One thing that came to my mind that you wrote was at the end regarding him giving up smoking and you giving up pork... I *think most guys say they will give up smoking but hardly actually do it. Smoking is usually an addiction where as eating pork isnt usually an addiction. Its going to be ALOT easier for you to give up eating pork, then him to just get here and quit smoking. Hopefully, if hes serious about quitting smoking he will stop it while in Egypt.

Not only that, but there are so many pork substitutes. I actually tended to buy turkey hotdogs, turkey ham, soy sausage, etc anyway (for health reasons) long before I met my husband, so there was very little adjusting once he got here. (he didn't insist that I stop buying pork, I did). The only thing I can't really find a substitute for is pork chops, but I can live without them. My 6 year old LOVES ribs, but she's just as happy with beef ribs. I also found Goya ham flavored concentrate (like powdered bouillon) and J & D's bacon salt (vegetarian) which contain no pork - only made out of plants and chemicals, apparently. I don't know if your SO would be comfortable eating any of that (my husband will eat kosher beef hot dogs, but doesn't like many of the other things, and of course won't eat any pork), but at least it will give you options if there are certain things you don't want to completely give up.

I'm going to start a thread about foods we can substitute for things our SO can't eat.

Best of luck!

venusfire

[venusfire503 54]

Anyway, if anyone would like to tell about their conversion - or not converting - please do so. Feel free to tell why you did or didn't - what led you to your decision.

I have something of my conversion process at my blog. It's an ever evolving and changing narrative as I time passes and I reflect more on it.

If you did convert, do you have any information you'd like to add - where, when, how you converted? For example, some might have done it very informally, maybe others had some type of ceremony? I'm just really curious - and this is something I've been thinking about quite a bit lately.

There really wasn't anything too official about it - 2 witnesses, la ilaha il Allah, Muhammadur rasul Allah. I got a conversion certificate from Al Azhar a few years later that made it all official on paper in case the saudi government ever asked for proof of my conversion when I want to make hajj/umrah. Beyond that, it's been a long and interesting road that still takes me new and exciting places.

UmmSqueakster,

I started to read your blog, and find it interesting. I understand what you said about it being difficult to answer the question about why you converted. It sounds to me that you just found, after years of research, what makes sense to you! I imagine not everyone would be 'ok' with that answer, but that's their problem.

In a way, I envy you. You have found something that fits. Who knows - maybe some day I will, too. For now, I am researching, thinking, listening to others. I think there's something more... fulfilling, maybe - about hearing from people and not just reading texts.

venusfire