converting - or not

[venusfire503 54]

I know that there are many Muslim/non-Muslim relationships in MENA (like mine), and others that start out that way until (usually) the (non-Muslim) woman converts. Of course, there are also some that are Muslim/Muslim from the start - either both born into it, or conversion came before the relationship.

I know that there is the perception out there that people (again, mainly women) convert just because they marry a Muslim. While I'm sure that does happen (and I'm sure some of them regret it and/or abandon it, some don't think much about it, and others find it was actually a good choice for themselves after all), I'm also sure that many do it for very good, solid reasons that may or may not have anything to do with their SO.

I remember someone mentioning that she converted before meeting her SO, because she researched Islam after 9/11 (sorry if I'm not getting the details quite right) out of curiosity, and realized that it was right for her. I thought that was a beautiful story, and I'm happy I heard about it.

I'm very interested in hearing other stories, from anyone who would like to share. I hope I don't offend anyone by asking, and very sincerely hope that asking isn't an offense to the religion. I have good intentions. Yes, I want to hear some heart warming/inspriational stories, but I also think that maybe there are people out there who would like to share.

I was brought up Catholic, and my husband is Muslim. I've had people ask me about converting, but I honestly don't feel the urge to do it. I actually don't feel drawn to any specific religion, at least not right now. I don't attend religious services, but I do pray, thank God, talk about God to my children, we say grace... things like that. I do practice the Islamic lifestyle to an extent - I don't drink, I avoid pork/gelatin for the most part, do my best to be respectful of my husband and myself, fast during Ramadan... things like that. I feel better about myself, doing it. Some might wonder why I don't convert, then. My only answer, which I say with the utmost respect (and I apologize if it doesn't come across that way) is that I just don't agree with all aspects of Islam. I honestly don't agree with Catholocism either, which is why I haven't really practiced it for a long time. Some might consider me a bad person for "picking and choosing" certain aspects, but I really don't know if anyone adheres 100% to any religion. I KNOW I'm not perfect, but I'm doing my best. If others want to judge me, that's their issue, not mine.

Anyway, if anyone would like to tell about their conversion - or not converting - please do so. Feel free to tell why you did or didn't - what led you to your decision. For those who didn't, did you (like me) contemplate it at all? What was/were the deciding factor or factors? If you did convert, do you have any information you'd like to add - where, when, how you converted? For example, some might have done it very informally, maybe others had some type of ceremony? I'm just really curious - and this is something I've been thinking about quite a bit lately.

If I upset anyone, I am very sorry. I hope this can be a peaceful thread!

venusfire

[Aymsgirl 0]

Hey venusfire! I don't mind this question at all. We have a Muslim thread....some of the stories are in there including mine. I am at work and can't take the time that I would like to respond to you but you are welcome to find my story and possibly even the same questions you had over time.

BTW...I bumped the thread up so you could see it You can always pm me with questions if you would like!

Edited September 25, 2009 by Aymsgirl

[Nagishkaw 510]

I could never convert and deny my Jesus. Those who claim they were a Christian and then converted were never really a Christian to begin with but in name only, IMO. 0nce you have the Spirit of the living God dwelling inside you, there is no room for question or doubt who is empowering you. I have seen way too many miracles, heard the audible voice of the Almighty, even smelled Jesus as I had actual conversations with Him in my house. I could go on and on, but probably would not be believed anyway. Christianity isn't about religion or ritual, it's all about relationship.

[~PalmTreeGurl~ 154]

I could never convert and deny my Jesus. Those who claim they were a Christian and then converted were never really a Christian to begin with but in name only, IMO. 0nce you have the Spirit of the living God dwelling inside you, there is no room for question or doubt who is empowering you. I have seen way too many miracles, heard the audible voice of the Almighty, even smelled Jesus as I had actual conversations with Him in my house. I could go on and on, but probably would not be believed anyway. Christianity isn't about religion or ritual, it's all about relationship.

[Jenn! 918]

I think there is a certain amount of pressure to convert (spoken or not), especially once you start having kids. But for me, conversion would be a lie, so it's just not a possibility I would even consider. I don't see myself ever adopting any organized religion.

[Donna A 4]

I have no reason to convert as I am 100% happy with christianity.

My best friend from high school did convert when she married her exhusband. She said, it just made sence to her. Personally I find she is just a follower to who she is with at the time. She lived in a Muslim community overseas so to fit in she did what they did. Then all of a sudden she was more religious then even the ones who are born into it. She knew more about the religion then they did. She was telling them they needed to dress the part and even making clothes for friends who didnt dress the part.

she divorsed her husband and moved back here after 20 years and uncovered and started dating a biker with piercings and tatoos....then she got a tatoo which she regrets now....see why i think she is a follower?

now she is married to a christian guy who has no idea she is muslim. she stopped fasting and praying and everything else that she was sooooo into before.

so in her case yes she converted to be like her husband and overseas friends. for all the wrong reasons.

[DanniandMary 1]

I converted when I married my husband. I grew up Christian and went to church off and on for 30+ years. Growing up here in the USA there are things that we adopt because our parents did or because that is all we have ever known. After a while in the church I have found that there are "click" and some "hypocritical" people but we are all human right. When I met my husband it was like a major force brought us together at the exact right moment. We have so much in common about our views. I totally believe in God and that he is the one and only creator. Nobody can give or take life except God. Don't get me wrong, I believe in Jesus too. I just don't believe he is the son of God. I believe he is an awesome profit. As in the previous post I have seen many miracles myself and just in the last year I have seen Gods work in my life every single day. I see the plan he has set out for me and it is so perfect. There is good and bad but we learn from the bad and he helps us move on. At first, I will be honest I had a problem with thinking that Muslim women were treated as second class. The more I learn, the more I see that is not true. Women wear hijab and cover themself as not to tempt anybody and to show that people should look at inner beauty and not outer beauty only as a factor in friendships, etc. This so goes to the root of everything for me and makes so much sense. I am a little old fashioned though. As far as organized religion, I have learned that the daily prayers are to help people in their faithful walk daily by reminding them that God is the one and only and that we should follow his lead all day everyday. The prayers help to remind us of that instead of going to church one day and forgetting the other 6 days how we should act. Don't get me wrong, I am not anti Christian now because my whole family is Christian. I just finally found what my heart has told me for so many years. I took Shahada when I married my husband and proclaimed that I believe there is only one God and that Mohammed is the last profit. I am still learning and will continue to learn. I love the values that Muslims have in the present day in most countries. They are loving, caring, honest, God fearing and faithful. The Muslim children are so much more innocent than most children in the usa from what I have seen through my husband and other stories. I think if some people study Islam and really get to know it I think they will embrace it more. Like I said I was hesitant and scared at first but I really love the values.

God Bless!

[Aymsgirl 0]

I have no reason to convert as I am 100% happy with christianity.

My best friend from high school did convert when she married her exhusband. She said, it just made sence to her. Personally I find she is just a follower to who she is with at the time. She lived in a Muslim community overseas so to fit in she did what they did. Then all of a sudden she was more religious then even the ones who are born into it. She knew more about the religion then they did. She was telling them they needed to dress the part and even making clothes for friends who didnt dress the part.

she divorsed her husband and moved back here after 20 years and uncovered and started dating a biker with piercings and tatoos....then she got a tatoo which she regrets now....see why i think she is a follower?

now she is married to a christian guy who has no idea she is muslim. she stopped fasting and praying and everything else that she was sooooo into before.

so in her case yes she converted to be like her husband and overseas friends. for all the wrong reasons.

I agree that it is very wrong for somebody to convert just because of their spouse. What a person needs to ask themself is, will I still believe like this if he dies or we divorce? If the answer is "yes" and you know from your heart whatever it is you are doing it for you and you feel it in your soul then it's right.

I've walked the walk with both religions. I have my own opinions about how and why I chose the route that I chose. I prayed and read every book including the Bible and Quran I could get my hands on and especially those two over and over. Met with pastors and imams and was like a sponge absorbing what I could absorb and took it upon myself to discover what my need and belief was. Prayed over my valley of decision for a very very long time and there was never any push from my spouse or his family. I don't think that your personal relationship with God should ever be decided by another or for another. In the end we are all responsible for our actions and answering on Judgement Day.

Edited September 25, 2009 by Aymsgirl

[New Beginnings 32]

I've never considered converting and I've never felt pressure to consider it.

I equate it to how I feel about my husband. I didn't marry a muslim man that I was hoping would one day convert and he didn't marry a christian woman that he was hoping to get to convert one day. I'm strong in my beliefs and he's strong in his.

I'm also very fortunate in that we both encourage each other. Not that I encourage him to believe in Islam and he doesn't encourage me to believe in Christianity, but we encourage each other to both be good people. To adhere to our respective religions (which are so similar) and to basically always practice what we preach. During Ramadan I tried to make it special for him, fasted a few days with him, and for Eid did my best to learn the traditions. During my holidays he'll do the same with me.

I support my husband who just happens to be a muslim and he supports me who just happens to be Christian

[Y's_habibitk 2]

I've never considered converting and I've never felt pressure to consider it.

I equate it to how I feel about my husband. I didn't marry a muslim man that I was hoping would one day convert and he didn't marry a christian woman that he was hoping to get to convert one day. I'm strong in my beliefs and he's strong in his.

I'm also very fortunate in that we both encourage each other. Not that I encourage him to believe in Islam and he doesn't encourage me to believe in Christianity, but we encourage each other to both be good people. To adhere to our respective religions (which are so similar) and to basically always practice what we preach. During Ramadan I tried to make it special for him, fasted a few days with him, and for Eid did my best to learn the traditions. During my holidays he'll do the same with me.

I support my husband who just happens to be a muslim and he supports me who just happens to be Christian

Well said and I thats how I feel about it too

[Mommy2ZaidnSalma 11]

I have never thought about converting and hubby doesnt really care. I do not practice organized religion and like Jenn, if I did convert it would be a lie. I don't agree with many parts of Islam (hijab, inheritance, etc) and I dont like the cultural do's and dont's of Islamic people in the Middle East. I dont believe that it is right to convert unless you are 110% faithful to the religion.

Hubby is Muslim, but that only goes so far. He is probably the worst example of one, but that is fine by me. We both believe in God, and have faith that we will leave earth one day and find eachother in heaven and thats all that matters.

[Kenza 1]

Both Muslim when we met. I wasn't raised any religion (my dad Muslim but not practicing, my mom Christian). I found my religion when I was around 12-13 years old.

[venusfire503 54]

Hey venusfire! I don't mind this question at all. We have a Muslim thread....some of the stories are in there including mine. I am at work and can't take the time that I would like to respond to you but you are welcome to find my story and possibly even the same questions you had over time.

BTW...I bumped the thread up so you could see it You can always pm me with questions if you would like!

Aymsgirl, I saw the thread (I guess it was the right one), but it's like 163 pages or something.... I even tried just looking at your posts... couldn't find it. I read what you wrote here, though - it sounds like you really did your research!

Jenn!, I know what you mean. I don't see myself adopting any organized religion either.

I knew basically nothing about Islam before meeting my husband. I don't want to convert, and some might think I'm weird or hypocritical or whatever for following the lifestyle somewhat. Some might think I'm being "a follower" too. I wouldn't go back to where I was before I met him if something happened to him or us (God forbid), but I don't think I'd do things quite the same as I do now either. I look at it this way - I love my husband. I'm interested in who and what he is, and want to be close to him. I don't feel connected to any religion, but my husband has brought me closer to God, and that's a good thing. One thing I have in my mind is that I'm not so sure God demands that we follow some rules that certain religions use. I do believe in the Golden Rule, and the Commandments. I'm just not so sure about things like how we dress or what we eat. I do see the benefit in fasting, though - understanding what some people are going through, not focusing so much on eating (which is a big thing in the US - can't speak for the rest of the world, but really - I think many of us eat half the time because of habit or whatever), and also the idea of paying more attention to God and our minds instead of our stomachs. This is probably the 'worst' reason I have, but it's also in there a little - maybe there IS something to it, and I wouldn't want to not do something that maybe I'm supposed to do. It doesn't hurt to do it, and I'm a "better safe than sorry" kind of person... My husband has told me many times that I don't have to do what I don't want, and that I shouldn't do something (or not) just because he does (or doesn't). I agree. That's why I don't drink, but don't cover my head, for example. I love the idea of being more conservatively dressed, and not acting/talking provocatively - leaving sexual things just between the two of us where they really belong (really, does my sister need to know anything that happens here - or does anyone else for that matter?). I don't see anything wrong with kind of "trying out" something (even religion) now that I'm aware of it. Some aspects I tried out for a while and decided they didn't fit into who I am.

I'm sure many of you have had others try to talk you into/out of converting or not converting. I know I've read about some people being asked things like "are you going to start wearing that thing on your head?" because of being in a relationship with a Muslim man. I've been asked if I was going to convert, and just tell people I don't intend to (even though I sometimes feel like telling them it's none of their business).

There are some huge definite differences between being in a relationship with another USC of the same religion/background, and being in the relationship I am now! Some parts are difficult (dealing with USCIS, for one), but it's still a wonderful and amazing experience. Other than my children, nothing on earth means more to me than my husband.

venusfire (obviously having many thoughts flying around now...)

[SaadBell 0]

I with Jenn, too be honest I have read the bible all the way through and starting to read the Qur'an, and have some serious problems with both. My whole family is very religious, I am the one that questions the whole thing, I have tried to believe but it makes no sense to me. I like what the great late George Carlin said

Religion convinced the world that there's an invisible man in the sky who watches everything you do. And there's 10 things he doesn't want you to do or else you'll to to a burning place with a lake of fire until the end of eternity. But he loves you! ...And he needs money! He's all powerful, but he can't handle money! George Carlin,

[~PalmTreeGurl~ 154]

Im going to throw in my thoughts for a moment to you VenusFire. You can choose not to smoke, drink, curse, fast, pray, dress modest, ect... these things are not dependant on only being a muslim person. Im a christian and choose to live by those standards. GOD requires all of us to love Him and love and treat others as we would do ourselves.

Edited September 25, 2009 by TamaraLovesAdam