Should I be concerned?

[Lingladyinred19 13]

We don't know the whole story here, maybe she is helping a family member, maybe she has a shopping problem, maybe she has a lot of debts in the past. The OP should dig deeper on financial issues because if he tolerates this two weeks huge expense - he will regret it in the future. If the fiancee get used to having a lot of money, she will treat him as a BANK. She will not take into consideration the hardship of working, the recession etc. I think he has to tell the fiancee to have an accounting of the monthly expenses (my opinion only). I've read that she is working so the money coming here is just an additional to her budget so she should be really well off now.

U r right.. and ATM MACHINE lol.. hope everything went well to both of them..

hope the girl will realize everything.. hope she will value the money..

We don't know the whole story here, maybe she is helping a family member, maybe she has a shopping problem, maybe she has a lot of debts in the past. The OP should dig deeper on financial issues because if he tolerates this two weeks huge expense - he will regret it in the future. If the fiancee get used to having a lot of money, she will treat him as a BANK. She will not take into consideration the hardship of working, the recession etc. I think he has to tell the fiancee to have an accounting of the monthly expenses (my opinion only). I've read that she is working so the money coming here is just an additional to her budget so she should be really well off now.

U r right.. and ATM MACHINE lol.. hope everything went well to both of them..

hope the girl will realize everything.. hope she will value the money..

[Deputy Purple 1,294]

I think those who are calling her a scammer are really jumping to conclusions and that is unfair.

I agree (as I already posted) that there is something not right here but....

Maybe she is just not used to having miney of any amount and doesn't know how to handle having money.

I would never assume that she is malicious, instead assume that she has found herself in a new situation and having trouble adjusting.

If you set a monthly limit and then together the two of you figure a budget that allows for all of her basic needs to be met and has some left over there shouldn't be a problem.

Now if she resists that then there are bigger issues.

[annaprice 17]

My wife is always agruing with me about money....

She says I send too much and she gets upset when there's unexpected expenses.

She has figured-out a monthly budget which includes money for telephone & DSL (1,000Php), Electric (2,500Php which is high because I had AirCon installed there), Groceries (8,000Php which includes diapers & milk for the little guy). She lives with her Mom so there is no rent and Mom also covers some of the groceries) then there is the misc expenses like LOD for her cell phone and trike fare to get around.

I have to insist that she treats herself on occassion and even then she argues about it and insists that she is okay without.

She get frustrated when people around her come to her asking for money because they assume she's rich simply for having an American husband.

My wife has always insisted on telling me what her budget is and even wants to send me coies of the receipts.

Communications is key to building a solid relationship. If she isn't communicating with you now wy would you expect that to ever change?

. we are same with ur wife.. My hubby send me too much money here.. 2x a month, I keep arguing to him also..

300$ here or more is big already.. I know how to budget money, that why all the extra money i put into our savings account. I don't pay my rent coz i am here at my parents house. while i am waiting for my visa..

Me too.. I get frustrated when people borrow money to me, they thought i am rich coz my hubby is a foreigner.

But i don't tolerate them, i told them that my hubby is not rich he work hard there.. he is not seating pretty in the states.. he work like a dog and cow.. that is why all the money that he sent to me.. i really value that.

even he never ask me, what i did in the money he sent. i am the one tell him that i buy this one or whatever. and he don't care. but for me.. as my husband its a respect even he never ask me what i did in the money that he sent..

ever since we been gf/bf and get married. i never never ask money.. it ashamed really..

to make the story short.. i am KURIPOT talaga hehehe..

I agree with you communication is the BEST.

god bless

Hahaha IM Bob4Anna's wife. nyahaha I agree with you sis IM KURIPOT SOBRA! and my husband calls me, BC. short for Budget Conscious! haha in tagalog barat,kuripot LoL. Yeah if she really loves you, she should be thankful of everything you give her. and budget wisely. In a relationship it should not be HIS or HER money.It should be OURS! so she should be more caution when spending money,like she worked for it. Supporting somebody is not an easy job. and i SALUTE my husband for doin a excellent job takin care of me and gabby =).infact i want to work so i could buy my husband things he wants with the money I get from working =) it would make me feel good =)

[SomedaySomehow 1]

My posting in this thread is will be my opinion and experiences.

300 a month is a lot ... are you working on getting papers and such for the interview? These expenses start to add up pretty quick .. especially if she lives in a province where a lot more and longer distances of travel are required.

My main concern as a outsider looking in to what you posted is ... she is asking for more ... from my experience a true good hearted Filipina is shy about this and will not ask you for money unless it was something urgent. In a year of a relationship with my fiance she has never ever asked me one time for any money. She budgets what I send her very well ... and it is less than 300 a month ... this includes going to the cafe EVERY single day for 2 hours for her and I to talk, plus food, and transportation.

I won't pass judgment on her, but you should be concerned to an extent and need to have a serious talk with her about where all that money is going. I hope this won't bring any heat to myself .. but I have learned that a Filipina with a foreign fiance or husband will be asked many many many times for money from a lot of people. Relatives there tend to use guilt as a means to get some money unfourtantly. If this is the case she needs to find it in herself to have to say no sometimes and let them know she has expenses she needs to take care of, and documents to obtain etc etc ... and gently let them know when things are better in the future financially help maybe offered at times.

Just one last thing ... really take a look and think of the situation ... a genuine Filipina will generally be ashamed and shy to ask you for money. But like I said above she could be helping others who are asking for help ... so it all boils down to communication with her to figure out where it is all going. 300 in 14 days is ALOT there just keep that in mind.

[JelloShotGirl 0]

slow down brother, you are sending wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy too much! $50 to $100 a month is enough, $100 is in the high side. My husbands family is happy if we send $20 - $40 US !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Lingladyinred19 13]

Hahaha IM Bob4Anna's wife. nyahaha I agree with you sis IM KURIPOT SOBRA! and my husband calls me, BC. short for Budget Conscious! haha in tagalog barat,kuripot LoL. Yeah if she really loves you, she should be thankful of everything you give her. and budget wisely. In a relationship it should not be HIS or HER money.It should be OURS! so she should be more caution when spending money,like she worked for it. Supporting somebody is not an easy job. and i SALUTE my husband for doin a excellent job takin care of me and gabby =).infact i want to work so i could buy my husband things he wants with the money I get from working =) it would make me feel good =)

hahaha.. we are same talaga.. hehehe..i agree with u.. if the girl love him so much, she will be satisfied what his husband or bf give him and she don't need to ask more more more money..

korek. supporting somebody is not easy, because we need to be consider the situation of our hubby or bf in STATES, they have also a bills that they need to pay.

I am not saying that the girl is already a scammer. because i don't know the whole story and where she spend the 300$ for 14 days or 15days.. we call here 1 day MILLIONER hehehe..

god bless :-)

[john_and_marlene 162]

Communicating with her is not going to solve anything if he is being scammed. She will say/do anything to keep the money flowing.

[BigBubble 1]

She is taking advantage of you!!

Stop igving her any money. Just tell her you don´t have any, you will see by her reaction if she really loves you.

[Ban Hammer 13,282]

yes, you should be concerned. going through an amount in 14 days when it was supposed to last her a month is a red flag.

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

This is not a bash anyone thread.. It is a genuine question if missing something in the culture. I am embarrassed to even ask this.

I give my fiancée 300 american dollars for support each month. It is never enough though. I realize 300 a month is not a great deal, but should be enough to live on or am I way off here? It is starting to really hurt our relationship at this point because within 15 days she has gone through the 300 this month, and asking for more even though have asked her to budget money since I am sadly not a rich man. Would someone please illuminate the situation? :crying: :crying:

My first impression is that you are being taken for a ride. Lucky you found out so soon. Time to move on. Plenty of fish in the sea.

Edited September 16, 2009 by Mister_Bill

[JANETandLYLE 11]

I send about 200.00 a month, but I have never been asked for money one time in the five years we have known each other. I only started giving my now fiance money last year after we had meant in person. Your giving an awful lot of money (300.00) and she is still asking for more??? BIG RED FLAG, in my opinion! Either cut way back and see if she is still in the picture, have a long long talk (and she may tell you whatever it takes to keep the cash flowing), or RUN! I agree overall with what most are saying here. Something is very uncomfortable. I personally have a feeling that she may be merely just taking advantage of you. If it is not that, then she is very poor at managing money. When its been a while since I sent Janet money, I will ask how her money is holding out. Almost always she tells me, "I have money still, I budget the money". Thats what you should be hearing, especially sending $300.00 a month! WOW! Your feelings are correct, my friend....

Edited September 16, 2009 by JANETandLYLE

[muñequita linda 0]

This is not a bash anyone thread.. It is a genuine question if missing something in the culture. I am embarrassed to even ask this.

I give my fiancée 300 american dollars for support each month. It is never enough though. I realize 300 a month is not a great deal, but should be enough to live on or am I way off here? It is starting to really hurt our relationship at this point because within 15 days she has gone through the 300 this month, and asking for more even though have asked her to budget money since I am sadly not a rich man. Would someone please illuminate the situation? :crying: :crying:

My first impression is that you are being taken for a ride. Lucky you found out so soon. Time to move on. Plenty of fish in the sea.

I agree with Mister Bill. The OP has already TROLLED enough in this forum and a school of crazy unsuspecting largemouths have nibbled at the lure. Mr. OP, you can now move on the general Off Topic forum and cast your line through the warm breeze along with the other misfits!

[Nelly228 0]

hey how did she live before she met u?

abby n sheryl

She is 33 years old, and worked in hospital before we met. That is the reason money has become an issue. She made it on far less money before.

i can only say one thing that if u r having a problem now before marry her then after marrying her it will be more headache so u need to talk to her now before it goes out of hands, abby n sheryl

I agree with u. you have to think hundred times before marrying her. she might be thinking that it is easy to earn money here. Good luck.

[Rocky_nBullwinkle 6]

Time to moved on Mister Confused one. Plenty of fish in the river indeed!

[gfredx 0]

This is not a bash anyone thread.. It is a genuine question if missing something in the culture. I am embarrassed to even ask this.

I give my fiancée 300 american dollars for support each month. It is never enough though. I realize 300 a month is not a great deal, but should be enough to live on or am I way off here? It is starting to really hurt our relationship at this point because within 15 days she has gone through the 300 this month, and asking for more even though have asked her to budget money since I am sadly not a rich man. Would someone please illuminate the situation? :crying: :crying:

My first impression is that you are being taken for a ride. Lucky you found out so soon. Time to move on. Plenty of fish in the sea.

I agree with Mister Bill. The OP has already TROLLED enough in this forum and a school of crazy unsuspecting largemouths have nibbled at the lure. Mr. OP, you can now move on the general Off Topic forum and cast your line through the warm breeze along with the other misfits!

My intention was never to troll. I apologize if it came across that way..... It was an honest question because was unsure. I have chose to give her the benefit of the doubt, and she went overboard with money. With family asking too much of her. We spent a great deal of time talking about this, and we have come to an understanding that works for both of us. I really wanted some confirmation that I was not being unreasonable before had a serious discussion with her. She is genuinely upset now so believe she cares in her heart. She just did not think her actions through before she followed through.

This has hurt our relationship to a degree, but it is not something that can not move pass. No one is perfect, and we all make mistakes.

Thank you again for responses and god bless.