Do the Research... and whatever else!

[Ban Hammer 13,110]

The bottom line is that there is a "clique" here on VJ. You either belong or you don't.

There is a clique here? How come nobody told me?

you mean it didn't click?

[morocco4ever 63]

There is a clique here? How come nobody told me?

Haven't you learned that if you deny the existence of a clique, that you've just admitted to being a part of it?

Ohhhhh....yes there is a clique. I would hate to be accused of belonging to any specific group.....it's not my style.

The bottom line is that there is a "clique" here on VJ. You either belong or you don't.

There is a clique here? How come nobody told me?

you mean it didn't click?

I don't click with cliques.

[Nagishkaw 510]

WELCOME TO VJ!!!

[ya falaha! 0]

Didn't hit my husband right away either. First week I was like, oh wow I'm in like Flynn. WRONG!!!! Three months later and I'm wondering if I can have a do over. About 2.5 years later and he's just now getting it (to a point).

Really there's a clique? I'm thinking more of some ppl just get along more with some than others. Some ppl post asinine threads with asinine comments and get blasted for it. It's not cliqueish.

My husband has been here almost 4 months. I could not be happier. The adjustment phase lasted for a couple of weeks, but the "hassle" was worth it.

The adjustment phase was only the first two weeks? I don't know about anyone else, but it didn't hit my husband until he had been here for 6 months. And it certainly took longer than 2 weeks.

The bottom line is that there is a "clique" here on VJ. You either belong or you don't.

There is a clique here? How come nobody told me?

[Nothing1234 2]

My husband has been here almost 4 months. I could not be happier. The adjustment phase lasted for a couple of weeks, but the "hassle" was worth it.

The adjustment phase was only the first two weeks? I don't know about anyone else, but it didn't hit my husband until he had been here for 6 months. And it certainly took longer than 2 weeks.

The bottom line is that there is a "clique" here on VJ. You either belong or you don't.

There is a clique here? How come nobody told me?

Well my marriage is doomed...our adjustment is taking 15 months so far! Sh!t...I want a refund...

As for the clique, I think it has a lot to do with reaching out to others and getting to know them. It made a difference when I made an effort to reach out. Still doesn't mean I'm best buds with everyone that only happens in movies.

My grandma use to say: No one is going to "toot" your horn for you, you need to do it yourself to be recognized. (No comments from the peanut gallery! ) In other words, you are responsible for your own actions in life...you either try or you don't. Just my 2 cents.

[Staashi 371]

My husband has been here almost 4 months. I could not be happier. The adjustment phase lasted for a couple of weeks, but the "hassle" was worth it.

The adjustment phase was only the first two weeks? I don't know about anyone else, but it didn't hit my husband until he had been here for 6 months. And it certainly took longer than 2 weeks.

Man oh man, our adjustment period/phase/a.k.a daily-fvcking-life is still ongoing and it's been almost five years. Sheesh, just wait till you maybe throw a child in there and then you'll really find out what a multi-cultural adjustment phase is like. Furthermore, until you've adjusted status, removed conditions or anything else, the adjustment phase keeps on going because you're still in the phase of "what do I have to prove to USCIS so that my spouse can continue to stay in the country" mode. That's a fun one...that adds quite a bit to the adjustment of it all - or at least it did in my case.

[Staashi 371]

P.S. - I'm not negative...just honest.

[Ayman and Yasmina 0]

ok I think this thread is a real warning to really get involved with this site..WOW I cant beleve some people have that much free time on their hands to insult one another..seeesh...wow...

[~PalmTreeGurl~ 154]

I dont think I will ever be eating a puffy taco in my lifetime now due to the MENA threads! I will never look at lampshades the same due to MENA avatars. My eyes and sense has been de-virginized!

[ya falaha! 0]

What's the difference between spending free time insulting or being "supportive"? They're both time wasters. Wow I can't believe you have that much free time to come and make this comment.

ok I think this thread is a real warning to really get involved with this site..WOW I cant beleve some people have that much free time on their hands to insult one another..seeesh...wow...

[Ayman and Yasmina 0]

I think there is a difference...When your supporting or offering useful information that is not really wasting time..Insulting someone is...Well thats just my opinion and Im not going to drag it out...Im so greatful for the people that did help me on here and their time wasnt wasted by helping me..I guess my journey is finished on here..

PS the ones that contact me by pm I will continue to check up and answer your questions!!! I guess I could waste my time elsewhere..

[childress_london 3]

This reminds me of the terrible teachers I have had in my lifetime. They enter the classroom forgetting what it was like when they were a student and knew nothing. They teach from their present knowledge and not from the present knowledge of the class, leaving most students behind and very confused. People should remember that those posting questions are not on the same level of knowledge and experience that you may be. Heck, they might not even know that much about how to use the Internet or computers (yes those people still exist!). So screaming "fill in your timeline" does nothing to help the pour lost souls who manage to find their way here in hopes of finding an oasis to fulfill their thirst for knowledge and wisdom.

[CnT4ever 1]

Nope, I can honestly say that we're smooth sailing right now. Alot of it has to do with the fact that I don't really fight my husband on any issues. The "it's my way or the highway" approach won't work with him. Compromise, as we know it, is something that is not part of his culture either. So I've learned to avoid arguments for things that are not of great importance. Things that really matter, well, we spent alot of time discussing and figuring out what those things were before marriage. This approach works because when something is important enough to me, and he is in disagreement, he remembers all the times I let him have his way and will almost always cave in to my suggestion. What happens in the future is anyone's guess. USCIS may cause us problems, they may not. Not going to worry about it until the time comes. In the mean time, I think I will be appreciating my life a little more, and the fact that I'm happy and we have peace in our home - something that doesn't seem too common place around here

Edited September 4, 2009 by CnT4ever

[doodlebugg 10]

I think there is a difference...When your supporting or offering useful information that is not really wasting time..Insulting someone is...Well thats just my opinion and Im not going to drag it out...Im so greatful for the people that did help me on here and their time wasnt wasted by helping me..I guess my journey is finished on here..

PS the ones that contact me by pm I will continue to check up and answer your questions!!! I guess I could waste my time elsewhere..

Does it matter who does the insulting? I took the time to answer that woman's question and reminded her that one post does the trick. I was insulted by the OP. Does that count or is it all dependent upon who does the insulting? Do you know how many people have been helped by many in this thread? A LOT.

Nope, I can honestly say that we're smooth sailing right now. Alot of it has to do with the fact that I don't really fight my husband on any issues. The "it's my way or the highway" approach won't work with him. Compromise, as we know it, is something that is not part of his culture either. So I've learned to avoid arguments for things that are not of great importance. Things that really matter, well, we spent alot of time discussing and figuring out what those things were before marriage. This approach works because when something is important enough to me, and he is in disagreement, he remembers all the times I let him have his way and will almost always cave in to my suggestion. What happens in the future is anyone's guess. USCIS may cause us problems, they may not. Not going to worry about it until the time comes. In the mean time, I think I will be appreciating my life a little more, and the fact that I'm happy and we have peace in our home - something that doesn't seem too common place around here

You know we have had a very easy adjustment period but I"d never smush it in people's face like that. As a matter of fact I try not to talk about how happy we are all the time because I feel bad that others are having a bad time of it.

[Nagishkaw 510]

PS the ones that contact me by pm I will continue to check up and answer your questions!!! I guess I could waste my time elsewhere..

Asking / answering questions via personal PM's in not exactly accepted here on VJ. Guess it's time to waste your time' elsewhere' .