meeting her family for the first TIME!!!

[charlie&pam 1]

Hey, this is really funny. I'm gonna meet my fiancee's family next week too. I'm gonna leave next Thur. and get there late Friday (her time). Her and her friend are picking me up from the airport. I'm meeting them on the Sat. she told me to bring her mother some of her favorite chocolate as a good token for her I already know that we're all gonna go out to eat lunch and I am gonna pay for it, it doesnt bug me, besides its only her mom, her younger sister (who wants her white chocolate Flipz, lol) and maybe her brother and aunt. Her and I are gonna be staying in Manila, but I'm going to Paranaque City, to meet her family. So, cool man, we're both gonna be in the same boat lol. Her family isnt really old school traditional, cuz they dont do the traditional Filipino things, so it is a little more easier for me, though I am wondering on how exactly to greet her mother Though her mom does and more than likely will question me on how I will support her daughter here and all, but it's expected since my girl and I are both 22 lol. The one thing her mom does like on me, that I know of, is that I'm latino and not that dark, lol. Good luck to you, man...I hope the best for you with her family

that is awesome man!!!!!!!!!!! i am in phoenix you are in Cali I ma leaving Friday morning on Hawaiian Air and get there Saturday at 5 am ........with the mother thing I think you are supposed to to mano the hand to forehead from what I am getting

[muñequita linda 0]

I just bought 1 big pig 2 months ago it cost about 3,500 pesos. but if you want to buy already roasted pig it will cost more than than.

I think 2 or 3 pigs are enough for the whole barrio.

OK....i talked to her last night they are getting one big pig roasted so it is about 160 american so the rest as sides and drinks sounds about right to me now!!!....lol

A big pig is not good for roasting, my friend. The best for lechon is a suckling. You can tell her relatives to butcher the big pig and make adobo, dinardaraan, pochero and other pork recipes, Ilocano style. Have fun!

[~happyndinlove~ 540]

Hello all, I love this sight so I finally set up an account. Well I am meeting my girls family next week for the first time and have some questions that I am hoping you fellow vjr's to help me with. her and her parents will pick me up at the airport do I do mano po when i meet them or is that old school? also I am paying for a party the next day for all her family to meet me ....i don't mind but is there a limit on how much i should spend or get? .....also what about the gift giving process she is telling me soaps & perfumes for the girls and toys and candy for the kids but what i don't understand she told me to bring my old clothes for the men????? is that really ok? ......and my last question is when would me a good time to formally ask her dad for his daughters hand? Do I do it at the party? Thank you all!!!!!

people has their own beliefs of their own base on where they lives and what kind of personality they are. when my husband (then fiance) first visited me here in the philippines, we did not do any party or did not buy any gifts for my family whatsoever. even though my husband asked me several times before he got on the plane what to bring, for me and for the family. i told him, bringing yourself, your love and true intension to me is enaugh. i told him that we dont have to throw a BIG party for the family and barangay just to show off.

im not saying that having a party is a problem. but it might be ONE in the FUTURE. i am not saying that your fiancee and her family are trying to ripp you off, dont get me wrong. just my opinion, that if you really love someone, money, party or any material things are unecessary indeed especially during the first meeting! its not about if you can afford it or not. the fact the matter is, it might lead you to be eaten alive.

however its really depends on you. this is really just my opinion.

good luck!

i Talked to her last night and she told me that she told her dad that I was on a budget and he said that we would split the cost of it so that is good.......she said that the night before they sat down and discussed it and they are now even paying for the car to pick me up at the airport which I figured I was paying for

wow! having such a BIG party as for welcoming you to the family is really nice. but having one is not a big deal if you really love each other. just my opinion! especially if the family just want to "show off" to the neighbors that they are having american visitor.

paying for the car for yourself is normal if the family dont have any, and the rent is not that high anyway. around 2-2500 unless somebody try to ripp you off. this one is no big deal at all, just open your eyes always and be aware before you realize that you're already in a cage.

good luck!

[JORDANTONI09 10]

Hey, this is really funny. I'm gonna meet my fiancee's family next week too. I'm gonna leave next Thur. and get there late Friday (her time). Her and her friend are picking me up from the airport. I'm meeting them on the Sat. she told me to bring her mother some of her favorite chocolate as a good token for her I already know that we're all gonna go out to eat lunch and I am gonna pay for it, it doesnt bug me, besides its only her mom, her younger sister (who wants her white chocolate Flipz, lol) and maybe her brother and aunt. Her and I are gonna be staying in Manila, but I'm going to Paranaque City, to meet her family. So, cool man, we're both gonna be in the same boat lol. Her family isnt really old school traditional, cuz they dont do the traditional Filipino things, so it is a little more easier for me, though I am wondering on how exactly to greet her mother Though her mom does and more than likely will question me on how I will support her daughter here and all, but it's expected since my girl and I are both 22 lol. The one thing her mom does like on me, that I know of, is that I'm latino and not that dark, lol. Good luck to you, man...I hope the best for you with her family

that is awesome man!!!!!!!!!!! i am in phoenix you are in Cali I ma leaving Friday morning on Hawaiian Air and get there Saturday at 5 am ........with the mother thing I think you are supposed to to mano the hand to forehead from what I am getting

OH, YOU LIVE IN PHOENIX? ITS GONNA BE A LONGER FLIGHT FOR YOU TOO, NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO THE 16 HR. FLIGHT LOL. HOW LONG IS YOUR STAY THERE? OH YEAH, SHE TOLD ME ABOUT THAT TRADITION. HER FAMILY DOESNT DO THOSE THINGS, SO YOU WOULD SAY THAT THEY'RE NOT SOOO MUCH TRADITIONAL, LOL.

[Calypso 464]

You're basically gonna step off the plane as Donald Trump in their eyes. My girl was constantly bombarded with financial requests from just about every relative. The requests ranged from buying MP3 players for cousins, to paying other relative's debts off. Some of which were hundreds of dollars.

Quite honestly that was the worst thing about the PI for me. It seemed like EVERY SINGLE person wanted money from me. It got old real quick and even started to wear me out in a very negative way.

Be prepared, and be stern with your girl with regards to your budget.

That one is the typical setting, bro. It actually depends on the economic status of the family of one's Filipino fiancee and her own consideration. As for me, I made sure that nobody takes advantage of my man's generosity.

[Calypso 464]

there's a lot of generalizations and assumptions in this thread. you cannot relate your personal one week or couple of month experience to an entire country of people. maybe your husband or wife is from a province that is much different than manila or something else. somebody even mentioned that they are simple people. what does that even mean? are you saying filipinos are simple people? nobody else found that rude as hell?

another thing, just because someone's family asked you for about money that doesn't mean that anyone traveling to philipines should be prepared to be hounded for money by their so's family. that's you're family now. one, it's not every family is like that. two, keep your families money issues to yourself. this is a public board.

his post was asking for some simple advise and a handful of people turned it into judging and describing an entire country in a few single sentences. it can't be done so stop it.

sometimes i read these forums and i'm amazed how people aren't more offended by some of the posts on here. unreal.

anyway, there are some customary actions that may exist throughout the country but be sure to research the customs that might be unique to the area you're traveling too.

sorry i wasn't more helpful but i mostly posted that because i was so turned off by some of the posts in this thread.

This is the best answer I had read so far. It makes a lot of sense to say this because when my fiance visited me for the first time, nothing traditional or usual happened. It completely varies from one family to another. Talk about being conservative or liberated.

[Calypso 464]

As for you, bro, it will all depend on your personality. If you don't care what other people have to say, you need not prepare anything but your sincere intentions of getting to know her bloodline and employ your social skills. You don't have to submit yourself to the expectations of her family or to anyone else in the clan. On the other hand, if you want to make a really good impression, go on and be a genie to everyone.

[/color]

My experience:

When the plane landed on Saturday, April 18, I met my fiancé alone at the airport, took him to the city where the hotel that we booked is located, left his luggage there, and had lunch elsewhere.

That same afternoon, we looked up online various beach resorts where we could continue our weekend. Being fond of SCUBA diving, he opted to go to Moalboal. However, I needed to work on Monday so I suggested a resort in Mactan. That plan was carried out. We spent the Saturday night in Mactan until the first hours of Sunday afternoon and went back to the city. I serve in church as a lector and in spite of him having no religion, he was in the Holy Mass. He met my friends in church briefly and the two of us left for dinner.

On Tuesday of his second week here, my parents met him for the first time in a restaurant and discussed our status. Sure thing, my parents were extremely displeased about me not introducing my fiancé to them the moment he set foot in Cebu per mandate of tradition. My father insisted that I marry my fiance before my fiance returns to the States because according to my father, I brought a lot of shame for living with my fiancé in one room in a few days. The line was always from my mother, "What would people say?" My parents are very conservative and they have been used to me being the obedient daughter. My fiancé and I just explained that we wanted to get to know each other first before anything else. Besides, neither of us is conventional. Two days before my fiancé left for the U.S., my family invited him to our countryhome where they prepared dinner.

In a big nutshell, I broke traditions. Besides, I didn't want to make my family or relatives feel that they could squeeze anything from my fiancé as if he owns a fountain of cash. I wanted to avoid what Rockhouse has experienced:

You're basically gonna step off the plane as Donald Trump in their eyes. My girl was constantly bombarded with financial requests from just about every relative. The requests ranged from buying MP3 players for cousins, to paying other relative's debts off. Some of which were hundreds of dollars.

Quite honestly that was the worst thing about the PI for me. It seemed like EVERY SINGLE person wanted money from me. It got old real quick and even started to wear me out in a very negative way.

I'm sure that not all families or relatives are like what Rockhouse has seen but generally, I don't like sticking to traditions or to expectations of others.

"I am the master of my fate

I am the captain of my soul…"

-W.E. Henley

All the best for you and your girl!

FAE

Edited August 20, 2009 by Arbind.Ariadne

[rockhouse 1]

there's a lot of generalizations and assumptions in this thread. you cannot relate your personal one week or couple of month experience to an entire country of people. maybe your husband or wife is from a province that is much different than manila or something else. somebody even mentioned that they are simple people. what does that even mean? are you saying filipinos are simple people? nobody else found that rude as hell?

another thing, just because someone's family asked you for about money that doesn't mean that anyone traveling to philipines should be prepared to be hounded for money by their so's family. that's you're family now. one, it's not every family is like that. two, keep your families money issues to yourself. this is a public board.

his post was asking for some simple advise and a handful of people turned it into judging and describing an entire country in a few single sentences. it can't be done so stop it.

sometimes i read these forums and i'm amazed how people aren't more offended by some of the posts on here. unreal.

anyway, there are some customary actions that may exist throughout the country but be sure to research the customs that might be unique to the area you're traveling too.

sorry i wasn't more helpful but i mostly posted that because i was so turned off by some of the posts in this thread.

This is the best answer I had read so far. It makes a lot of sense to say this because when my fiance visited me for the first time, nothing traditional or usual happened. It completely varies from one family to another. Talk about being conservative or liberated.

Umm, that's my point. Your experience is "unusual."

It's all good though. I wouldn't trade my girl, or her family, for the world. We even plan on living there someday!

Edited August 20, 2009 by rockhouse

[mybaby 0]

When my fiance then,now my husband went to my hometown, we did not bring anything, it's my decision not to because I don't want my parents or relatives see him as MONEY, I want them to see him as a person that I loved so much and that they will respect him as my future husband.

I remember my father asked him a cell phone and even asked him to bring him too here in America. I am very upset with my father and scolded him on the shame he gave to me to my fiance. I clearly told him, you did not respect my fiance,not even me because you see our relationships as just a THING, not a real relationships. I told him, what is the difference of him from Filipino men? Does it mean that he is a foreign he will take advantage of it? I love my husband so much, I want him and nothing else. The next visit of my fiance before, everything went well, I am so happy to see my father finally down to his heart accepted my fiance as a human that I love and told me things he wanted me translate to my him:)

I can say that it's up to me if I will allow my parents or relatives to get money to my husband. My husband is very welcome to help them, but I will make sure first if it's an emergency need or just for fun to them.

Well OP, as long as it won't hurt your pocket, then go on with the party, I'm sure you will also enjoy it with your love.

[eros_EX_Plumber 0]

Even when they consider 'Fruit of the Loom' a cool brand.

I agree with that..there are many options, there is Target, Wal-mart, and JC #######, and any other stores that sell inexpensive clothing but good quality. name brands does not neccesarily equal to a good quality. what makes them expensive they pay for the advertisement and for the famous celebrity. Most of the products here are not made in the US.. but atleast bought from the US..A

In the Philippines, there is a saying that courting the girl means courting her parents.

true

Dont kiss anyone, not even in the hand. They may look pleased, but theyd be disgusted if your lips touch their hands, especially because you're a guy.

Be prepared to answer questions like what you do for living, do you go to church, how's your parents and what do they do kind of stuff.

YUP, that is normal questions, in the US that is a very personal question;and is none of your business, not unless you need to provide important documents like insurance,health care etc.

Oh and if the dad or brothers ask you to drink with them, dont drink too much. Sometimes they use that as a test to makes sure your not some alcoholic loser marrying their daughter.

true.

I agree with that..there are many options, there is Target, Wal-mart, and JC #######,

I make sure wifey stay away from that store.....especially the JC ####### :devil: :devil:

:rofl: :rofl:

[gtron 0]

btw, i forgot to say gluck and let us know how it goes.

[charlie&pam 1]

You're basically gonna step off the plane as Donald Trump in their eyes. My girl was constantly bombarded with financial requests from just about every relative. The requests ranged from buying MP3 players for cousins, to paying other relative's debts off. Some of which were hundreds of dollars.

Quite honestly that was the worst thing about the PI for me. It seemed like EVERY SINGLE person wanted money from me. It got old real quick and even started to wear me out in a very negative way.

Be prepared, and be stern with your girl with regards to your budget.

That one is the typical setting, bro. It actually depends on the economic status of the family of one's Filipino fiancee and her own consideration. As for me, I made sure that nobody takes advantage of my man's generosity.

She talked to me about this last night.......she said that she has already talked to her family about asking for money she sadi that she already warned them....lol......a little 5'1" girl with an attitude I love it!!!! and her !!!1

[charlie&pam 1]

btw, i forgot to say gluck and let us know how it goes.

i definitely will ..........I found out why the party is costing so much no they are having someone come out and cook it ....so I guess they are getting it catered

[eros_EX_Plumber 0]

You're basically gonna step off the plane as Donald Trump in their eyes. My girl was constantly bombarded with financial requests from just about every relative. The requests ranged from buying MP3 players for cousins, to paying other relative's debts off. Some of which were hundreds of dollars.

Quite honestly that was the worst thing about the PI for me. It seemed like EVERY SINGLE person wanted money from me. It got old real quick and even started to wear me out in a very negative way.

Be prepared, and be stern with your girl with regards to your budget.

That one is the typical setting, bro. It actually depends on the economic status of the family of one's Filipino fiancee and her own consideration. As for me, I made sure that nobody takes advantage of my man's generosity.

She talked to me about this last night.......she said that she has already talked to her family about asking for money she sadi that she already warned them....lol......a little 5'1" girl with an attitude I love it!!!! and her !!!1

I am glad I am not the ONLY person that experienced that type of reception......for a while I thought it only happens to me but i see now there is a trend... and must be same with 5' 1" thru 5' 4' and the attitude.....

it must be the height or the region...hahahah but whatever it is.....there are great....hahahahaah

[charlie&pam 1]

You're basically gonna step off the plane as Donald Trump in their eyes. My girl was constantly bombarded with financial requests from just about every relative. The requests ranged from buying MP3 players for cousins, to paying other relative's debts off. Some of which were hundreds of dollars.

Quite honestly that was the worst thing about the PI for me. It seemed like EVERY SINGLE person wanted money from me. It got old real quick and even started to wear me out in a very negative way.

Be prepared, and be stern with your girl with regards to your budget.

That one is the typical setting, bro. It actually depends on the economic status of the family of one's Filipino fiancee and her own consideration. As for me, I made sure that nobody takes advantage of my man's generosity.

She talked to me about this last night.......she said that she has already talked to her family about asking for money she sadi that she already warned them....lol......a little 5'1" girl with an attitude I love it!!!! and her !!!1

I am glad I am not the ONLY person that experienced that type of reception......for a while I thought it only happens to me but i see now there is a trend... and must be same with 5' 1" thru 5' 4' and the attitude.....

it must be the height or the region...hahahah but whatever it is.....there are great....hahahahaah

YES THEY ARE!!!!!!!!!11