Todays Non Visa Topic is why they fell in love with you !!

[John & Nan 0]

Did you ever ask or been ask why you love me ? why this and why that question.

Falling in love with someone half way around the world is a hard choose to make. You go months or years without see then, touching them or been close to them. We all made it for one reason or other. In general I think in not about money, sure there are cases of fraud but if you love their money I don't think you can truly love them. Its may or may not be about looks. I think most Asian lady don't fall in love because of looks. well that is what they say out loud. But my wife does not have to face the problem being that I am a handsome guy. .

I feel the major reason in what is inside each other, the soul. I think we fall in love with each others soul. A soul that is not bound by borders or time. you can not buy or sale ones soul, if must be given and when it is given, it is given unconditional. We our but the few that have bravely search the world to find it our soul mate.

Or there some that are all just good with the BS....

Edited August 14, 2009 by John & Nan

[lindal24 1]

Did you ever ask or been ask why you love me ? why this and why that question.

Falling in love with someone half way around the world is a hard choose to make. You go months or years without see then, touching them or been close to them. We all made it for one reason or other. In general I think in not about money, sure there are cases of fraud but if you love their money I don't think you can truly love them. Its may or may not be about looks. I think most Asian lady don't fall in love because of looks. well that is what they say out loud. But my wife does not have to face the problem being that I am a handsome guy. .

I feel the major reason in what is inside each other, the soul. I think we fall in love with each others soul. A soul that is not bound by borders or time. you can not buy or sale ones soul, if must be given and when it is given, it is given unconditional. We our but the few that have bravely search the world to find it our soul mate.

Or there some that are all just good with the BS....

I was the asker...but I'm just like that...an philosopher... makes good conversation though, no?

[newlyweds 0]

my mom asked me about that, so i asked my guy and he said it has everything to do with character; the physical attributes is an added bonus

[luckytxn 2,264]

Have no idea why she loves me.

[*Robert* 2]

Money and Naturalization, or a Green Card if not too ambitious.

[thongd4me 69]

When we met online (around Feb. 2003) I was a seasoned veteran,

with only a few scars but never having got "too deep" with any

relationship. I knew my marriage was totally over and instead

of going out there and posting crotch shots that were sure to turn

any but the most desperate woman off, I just stressed communication.

I chatted with anyone, young, old, fat or thin and whether we continued

was determined by how honest and deeply felt their comments were

instead of where the outcome was going to go below-the-belt.

I would meet someone new around 5-10 times a week and would

continue chatting with some for days, weeks, months and even

years, but I could sense that something was lacking. I seemed

to attract women who wanted to vent about their husbands or

boyfriends (or kids) and I was always a good listener. Somehow

I felt that 90% of my contacts were spinning their stories in a

way that something was being held back, in a way that they

felt "safe" behind their online anonymity. That anonymity I never

breached unless it was voluntarily let down by the other party,

which was very seldom. Even with the ones that seemed to be

"telling all" I sensed that they were holding something important back.

This all changed when I met my Thai fiancée because she was so honest

and up front from the very beginning that it was positively stunning.

From the first day we both admitted we were married to someone else

and after making that leap of faith realized that our marriages were both

dead for many years and we were just both holding on for the sake of

the kids and financial convenience. (My ex-IBMer friend used to say

"It's cheaper to keep her.") We found commonality not in flowers,

hearts and scented toiletries but in our shared emotional bankruptcy.

We both realized that the cup wasn't even half full, it was totally empty.

We also exchanged pics practically immediately and we both liked what we saw.

It took around 14 months before we met face to face, but from that first

meeting (and every one since) the emotions were electric. I felt at the

same time like I was rejoining a long lost spouse and a new lover all

at the same time. Our first night together had no awkwardness,

verbally or physically. Everything she described to me about her family

and job was 100% true, both the good and the bad which I accepted.

The one unbelievable footnote was that I met her soon-to-be ex and her

son the next MORNING after spending the night with her. Amazingly, they

both accepted me like family because she had not hidden anything about

me from them and the transition from not knowing to knowing them was

effortless. The next day I met everyone at her school from the director

to the students and her husband who was also a co-worker showed them

he had no problem with our relationship. This is something even far-fetched

in situation comedies, but it was for real. The same experiences were

repeated over many years until the present.

Her amicable divorce was finalized about 3 days after I left for NYC, in that

first year, which proves that Thais are more civilized than the "1st world."

She had enough faith in me to do this and also not to complain when she

saw the difficulties I was having at my end. Luckily she knew enough about

American and European culture to know that our divorces often drag on and on.

As we approach our VJ experience, I feel as if we are already married, but

since my divorce was finalized the reality of our being together is now in

fast forward.

Good luck to all.

Edited August 15, 2009 by thongd4me

[*Robert* 2]

So if I read that right, and given your time line, you BOTH committed adultery, only she ended her marriage sooner than you did. I guess when it comes to morals; there aren’t any in this particular story.

And when you talk about how your fiancée is a ####### in the bedroom, on an open forum, I’m sure she must find that both erotic and comforting, despite the fact that you are not showing her much respect.

In my dealings with women of ANY culture, they would prefer their private life be kept private, especially concerning what goes on in the bedroom, or god forbid, any extra marital affairs, but obviously you an yours have a unique arrangement.

Life together in a foreign country is one thing… life together in the USA is something totally different.

Good luck!

[FinnLove 0]

He was attracted to me 21 1/2 years ago in Australia because I was funny. He's in love with me now because I'm even funnier than I was back then! Well, there's more to the story of course...but that's always his first answer if I ask him! Oh, and the fact that I had the guts to google him and get on a plane and travel for 24 hours...and so on.

[thongd4me 69]

So if I read that right, and given your time line, you BOTH committed adultery, only she ended her marriage sooner than you did. I guess when it comes to morals; there aren’t any in this particular story.

And when you talk about how your fiancée is a ####### in the bedroom, on an open forum, I’m sure she must find that both erotic and comforting, despite the fact that you are not showing her much respect.

In my dealings with women of ANY culture, they would prefer their private life be kept private, especially concerning what goes on in the bedroom, or god forbid, any extra marital affairs, but obviously you an yours have a unique arrangement.

Life together in a foreign country is one thing… life together in the USA is something totally different.

Good luck!

Did I forget to mention I was a ####### in the bedroom?

Smacks of a little narrow mindedness. I gave no details and showed her no disrespect.

I have never disrespected her Ex and consider him a friend. It's the civilized thing to do.

If my Ex found someone good and the shoe was on the other foot I could deal with that in a similar way.

That's why Thailand is such a breath of fresh air.

The Pilgrims & Puritans have long since died off, but their stupidity lives on.

This is an anonymous online forum but I would not talk about that as openly in the US, given that stupidity.

I don't even talk about that in Thailand with people I don't know intimately because it's a non-issue.

The Pilgrims & Puritans came from Europe but Europeans seem to have got over that kind of narrow-mindedness to a greater extent.

[John & Nan 0]

People fall out of love with there spouse, that is life. MY X was fight the divorce just to be mean, 2 years after we where separated I start sleeping with others other ladies is not adultery Maybe or maybe but who cares. The last 10 years of my marriage was loveless and sexless. My dreams was full of how I can die, what would be the easiest way to kill myself. I never cheated on her when we live together . Looking back I wasted 10 years of my life. I now have 10 less years with my son and any other kids we have next.

what right does other people have to judge someone that want happiness and love in there life.

[thongd4me 69]

People fall out of love with there spouse, that is life. MY X was fight the divorce just to be mean, 2 years after we where separated I start sleeping with others other ladies is not adultery Maybe or maybe but who cares. The last 10 years of my marriage was loveless and sexless. My dreams was full of how I can die, what would be the easiest way to kill myself. I never cheated on her when we live together . Looking back I wasted 10 years of my life. I now have 10 less years with my son and any other kids we have next.

what right does other people have to judge someone that want happiness and love in there life.

We have similar histories. There was boinking at least once or twice a week before I married my ex,

but after we got hitched, it was strictly for procreation, not recreation. I realized she didn't want a

husband but a drone bee (preferably he dies after he does his duty).

With no sex (after our 2nd kid) for 7 years, I was always open to the idea but eventually it was

separate bedrooms (I slept easier that way). Even if she was not "cheating" by going with someone

else, I felt deeply, as John may have, that there was a BREACH on her part in the marriage contract.

Yes, that to me was infidelity of the lowest order.

Every cloud has a silver lining and I try to make compliments where I can.

If I had wanted to openly go around with one or more "other women" she would not have objected,

because she knew that she had effectively and unilaterally ended our relationship.

When I went to Thailand for a month, she didn't ask WHY. To do so would have been hypocritical.

I didn't confess or explain to her, because to do so would be an admission of guilt. She didn't own me

and she wasn't my parent.

Our divorce was effected by living separately for the required time period. She only let it drag on because

she was following the lawyer's lead, not because of some axe she had to grind with me.

She never asked if there was another woman and probably didn't care, because in the end she didn't care for me

and I wish her all the happiness she can have with whomsoever she chooses.

And John,

I had those dreams too. Been there, done that.

Edited August 15, 2009 by thongd4me

[*Robert* 2]

Adultery is adultery. It may not be a crime punishable by law here in the US, but it is a moral crime. When it comes time that another man sleeps with your wife, who is also married, maybe you can maintain your same high moral ground. Good luck with that.

I love the hypocrisy of it all.

If the marriage is over, then get divorced and move on. Until then, the sanctity of marriage is still in play, unless you feel you don’t have to abide by the “contract” you made when you got married.

[thongd4me 69]

I can see a pattern here.

"Fundamentalism is the path to intolerance."

"Never criticize a man until you’ve walked a mile in his moccasins."

Might get his skirts ruffled when he trips on the warpath and ends up with mud on his face.

Seems to be one of the top posters (in volume) which amounts to not much,

because (and this is the key) he never reveals sheeit about himself or admits to being human.

He never starts any threads but butts into just about everybody's business.

Islamic fundamentalism, Christian fundamentalism, Buddhist fundamentalism, Hindu fundamentalism or Communist fundamentalism:

It's always somebody screaming "I'm right and look at them, they are SO wrong."

A warm, warm welcome to my ignore list.

So far it only has one member.

An honor indeed.

Not going to tell him to ** himself, 'cause he already covered that base.

Judgmental types have an uphill battle in staying married because they're always looking to find fault.

It's not IF but WHEN somehow she will step over the line and piss him off.

God help her.

My advice: she should cut her losses & trade up.

Trailer trash talks like...well...trailer trash.

Edited August 16, 2009 by thongd4me

[John & Nan 0]

I am lost, under who moral are you talking about your ? if you wife don't let you have a divorce then what. I know one lady in town that dragged the divorce on for 12 years. The "contract" as you put it was over when we separated. All what was left was for the courts to say it was over.

[thongd4me 69]

I am lost, under who moral are you talking about your ? if you wife don't let you have a divorce then what. I know one lady in town that dragged the divorce on for 12 years. The "contract" as you put it was over when we separated. All what was left was for the courts to say it was over.

This movie dramatizes the dilemma of someone having the inability to get a divorce,

and guess what, it's set in Southeast Asia. One of my all-time favorites, even if it may

not make everyone's top 10 list.

The Quiet American

In Saigon, 1951, Thomas Fowler is an English journalist, married in England with a catholic woman, and in love with a Vietnamese girl, Phuong. Thomas meets Alden Pyle in a bar. Pyle is a doctor working in an aid mission, and pretty soon, he falls in love with Phuong. Pyle offers her what Thomas is not possible to give, i.e., a marriage and escape of Vietnam. Meanwhile, the political situation in Vietnam is boiling, with the French trying to get control again of the country, the communists trying to impose their system to the South, and the American secretly giving support to a third Vietnamese part.

Indochine - Catherine Deneuve

Another great film set in Viet Nam. It's message to me: life is short.

The backdrop is the breakup of French Indochina into N & S Vietnam.

The plot is quite involved, so suffice it to say it's well worth a look.