to become an american citizen or not

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Allow me to clarify that I am not becoming a drunk or a hysterical mess due to homesickness. I'm not saying that Canada is the Land of Milk and Honey and that I just looooong to go back.

I am just reaching my breaking point on being where we are. However, being without my husband is unthinkable, so, here I am. And here I'll remain, until he's also free to go elsewhere. I have contemplated perhaps seeking medical help to deal with my raging depression, however chemical aids meant for chemical ailments cannot help with circumstantial depression.

However, I am tired of hearing secondhand about how I am a lesbian (I'm married), how I wear no panties, ever (I've never gone without underwear in my life), how I might be an atheist ("She says she's not, but does she go to Church? HMMMM? I think that speaks for itself!"), etc etc etc. Tired of constantly overhearing discriminatory remarks on religion, race, sexual preference, politics, social classes, etc. Tired of having no other option.

But as I said, here is where my husband must stay, so where he is, I'll have to be until something breaks or we make it through the next 6 years.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Galateia))))))))))))))))))))))))))))),

Depression is a challenge to deal with and when it is based on environmental circumstances that you can't change, it is even harder to deal with. Still, I think it would help if you are able to talk with someone on a regular basis. We all tend to hold our unhappiness inside of us, especially if we feel trapped into our circumstances, and while we might not be able to change our circumstances, we might be able to change having to hold it in. Perhaps there are other resources than chemical or medical ones that you can use. Maybe finding a counsellor who will let you vent about the unkindnesses in your environment, about the callousness and the second hand comments will help you find a safety valve, find a way to let go of the negative environment enough so that it doesn't destroy the you of who you are. See if you can find a small haven of solace somewhere that helps you restore your sense of security and self-worth. Sometimes, it can help if you can find a way to make it not 'matter so much'. I know it is far easier to write these words than ever to make these things happen, but you don't need to go through this alone. Try and find a shoulder you can lean on so you don't have to be strong all on your own.

Good luck to you. I hope that things get better for you soon.

[Galateia 1]

First off, yes, I wear panties. As I said, I have never not worn them in my life. In fact, I wear granny panties, although made of microfibre which I find more comfortable. Some days I wear boy short undies. None of them are the least bit sexy, so I have no clue why they decided to make up this scandal about me always going pantiless.

Your current work is definitely not the right place for you. It is sucking anything positive that you have left right out of you. and how could you know it wasn't the right place until you'd worked there a while, right? Now sounds like the time to try a job search. Put out a few resumes and see if anyone bites. You've been there a couple years, maybe there is somewhere else you can try? I can't remember whether you've said there are other opportunities or not or how big the town is.

You have culture shock girl and rightfully so. Where I live in Virginia, I hear a lot more racist, religious, generally discriminatory comments in the work place then I ever did in Canada.....it'd down right offensive and I wish people at my work would realize how offensive it is.

PS - I would confront the whole lot of them in one shot and tell them off - tell them you've heard people commenting on these various topics and that they have no right too and that they've hurt your feels and THAT isn't very Christian......hit'm right where it hurts sweetie

I can't drive. We have been making progress in overcoming my phobia, but in order for me to get a permit, that requires time off to go to the office and take the test. This hasn't been possible yet, but due to new and exciting abuses from my workplace, I will soon have a schedule that's all over the place, so hopefully a permit is in my near future.

The public transit here is not sufficient for me to use it for work. That means I am limited to jobs within walking distance. That means I am limited to my current job until I can drive on my own, which is at least a year off or more, depending on license laws here.

But you know, it's the same all over town. It's not my workplace, it's the culture here. It would be same manure, different pile, and without the veneer of civility that a better-class job like this one has. I can change jobs, but I can't change towns, and it's like this, or worse, all over town.

Taking on my coworkers for being products of local culture will only make my work situation worse. The law of majority says I am the one in the wrong. So I stifle my comments, endure until it is time to go home, and then wait for the next day to start.

Unless I can find a therapist that's a transplant, even if I could afford one, I will be complaining about how their culture is slowly killing my spirit and driving me to drink. Not exactly the sort of thing to say to a local who radiates pride over the very things I find so offensive.

[Galateia 1]

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Galateia))))))))))))))))))))))))))))),

Depression is a challenge to deal with and when it is based on environmental circumstances that you can't change, it is even harder to deal with. Still, I think it would help if you are able to talk with someone on a regular basis. We all tend to hold our unhappiness inside of us, especially if we feel trapped into our circumstances, and while we might not be able to change our circumstances, we might be able to change having to hold it in. Perhaps there are other resources than chemical or medical ones that you can use. Maybe finding a counsellor who will let you vent about the unkindnesses in your environment, about the callousness and the second hand comments will help you find a safety valve, find a way to let go of the negative environment enough so that it doesn't destroy the you of who you are. See if you can find a small haven of solace somewhere that helps you restore your sense of security and self-worth. Sometimes, it can help if you can find a way to make it not 'matter so much'. I know it is far easier to write these words than ever to make these things happen, but you don't need to go through this alone. Try and find a shoulder you can lean on so you don't have to be strong all on your own.

Good luck to you. I hope that things get better for you soon.

Thanks, you posted while I was typing so I'm sorry I missed this.

I do have one friend from Seattle, but she's imploding herself from a divorce and custody battle and a whole host of other external stresses that means that she can only provide so much support, and vice-versa.

I guess I just feel completely hopeless because I don't see any way to improve my circumstances without relocation elsewhere, which isn't an option. Everything just circles, hemmed in by that.

[Malrothien 6]

If you come in to the Canada forum, from time to time, you are going to hear some not so nice things about America and some Americans - and I hope you don't let it make you feel bad, it's not personal.

What you said above, it's really no different to what others have said here about the U.S. - it's not their home (for a lot of them) - just like you didn't feel Canada was yours.

I definitely don't take it personally since it is just the internet. It's just that, as an American, I noticed a *lot* of American bashing in Vancouver during the 4 years I lived there. It is what it is.

I purposely don't post about my feelings about Canada because they're mine, they aren't important to the conversation here, and they don't matter to anyone else. I fully understand why you (not you you) would love it, just as I love the US with all of my heart. I just wish people would realize that every country in this world has crappy things about them and leave it at that.

I hear what you are saying Trailmix and mostly agree. I try not to take it personally, but as an American I do find the America bashing (not only on VJ but from Canadians I know IRL) a bit sad and can get a bit defensive. I love the US and I love Canada and know that I could be happy living there too. Life is too short otherwise.

Yep, I agree with the life is too short comment. It's why I don't dwell on my time in Canada - I tried it. How many people can say that they lived in another country? Not too many.. It was an experience, an adventure, but one that just didn't work out for us and now we are on our next adventure. Will it last? Who knows.

[CDAgirlMI 51]

I don't think I'd survive in a working environment where it made my life a living hell. I understand some people have no choice & that's their only option. But I'd probably make CNN "Woman goes postal at place of work"

[Hendea3 4]

I faced these same questions myself. In fact, I am taking my US citizenship exam and interview this coming Thursday. After a lot of consideration my reasons have very little to do with ideology and everything to do with practicality. First, becoming a citizen means never having to be involved with USCIS again - a really big incentive (VBG!). Second, I too believe that it is important to be involved in your community and that democracy is not a spectator sport. I miss not having a voice and being able to vote so I want to be able to have a say in the governing of the country where I live. Third, both Joe and I are getting on in years. He is due to retire in a few years and the reality of living as a senior citizen in the US is very close. It may be that we will not be able to afford health care if the situation doesn't change once he retires. We may need for our own survival to move back to Canada. Taking out US citizenship means that we have the option to live in either Canada or the US - whichever country is more affordable for us - without having to worry about USCIS. Dealing with Canadian immigration for Joe would be a cinch. Finally, permanent residents are treated totally different in matters such as estate taxation - if anything happened to Joe I would not inherit our jointly own property free and clear. I would be required to pay tax on the whole value of our property even while I am still living on it - which means I could not afford to live here anymore. As a US citizen, the estate tax would be deferred until my own death. As a US citizen I would be eligible for social security programmes that I am not eligible for as a PR - again, not something that is pleasant to think about, but still a reality when you are in your 50s and 60s.

Like others have said, I am and always will be first and foremost, a Canadian. After I get US citizenship as well, I think I would prefer to think of myself as a citizen of North America (Mexico notwithstanding).

Sorry to bring up an old thread, not sure if there is a newer one or not, but I was under the impression that the US would make me renounce my Canadian Citizenship if I applied for US Citizenship??? I was born in Canada and I'm in the process of immigrating to marry a USC. One of the main reasons that I would apply for citizenships is because my degree leads me to governmental jobs (DNR) which are not open for LPR....one you get a moment please advise, thanks!

[Flames9_RN 358]

In the US oath ceremony that one has to take, it makes ya denounce ur citizenship to other countries! last tiem I looked, USA doesnt rule the world,lol I the USA eyes, your a USA citizen and thats that! BUT you do NOT loose your cdn citizenship! Canada sees one has a Cdn citizen and USA citizen! I'm still 100% cdn lol

[warlord 73]

In the US oath ceremony that one has to take, it makes ya denounce ur citizenship to other countries! last tiem I looked, USA doesnt rule the world,lol I the USA eyes, your a USA citizen and thats that! BUT you do NOT loose your cdn citizenship! Canada sees one has a Cdn citizen and USA citizen! I'm still 100% cdn lol

Yep I'm 100% American, but according to Canada I am still one of them. Now some nations do make you choose, but not Canunkia, they try and hold on to anyone they can as claim them as theirs ha ha...

[The_Dude 1,142]

Sorry to bring up an old thread, not sure if there is a newer one or not, but I was under the impression that the US would make me renounce my Canadian Citizenship if I applied for US Citizenship??? I was born in Canada and I'm in the process of immigrating to marry a USC. One of the main reasons that I would apply for citizenships is because my degree leads me to governmental jobs (DNR) which are not open for LPR....one you get a moment please advise, thanks!

I wouldn't mention the bolded part to an American citizen

[Tater&Bugger 3]

I thought you could have dual? My fiance's coworker married a woman who was from Canada and had dual Canadian/Italia status and when she began her process in the US they told her she can only have dual, so would need to give up her Canadian or Italian citizenship, and she gave up the Italian. So she has Canadian/USA dual now, as far as they told my fiance. Is this not possible?

[Hendea3 4]

Hey Tater...apparently from the posts above it is. Which is pretty cool because I'm born and breed Canadian but USC would make things much simpler....

[Flames9_RN 358]

The simple version:

CANADA sees you as a CDn and USA citizen, thus dual

USA sees you just as a USA citizen!!

Yep I'm 100% American, but according to Canada I am still one of them. Now some nations do make you choose, but not Canunkia, they try and hold on to anyone they can as claim them as theirs ha ha...

Your free to go and denounce your Cdn citizenship. http://www.cic.gc.ca/english/citizenship/renounce-how.asp

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Sorry to bring up an old thread, not sure if there is a newer one or not, but I was under the impression that the US would make me renounce my Canadian Citizenship if I applied for US Citizenship??? I was born in Canada and I'm in the process of immigrating to marry a USC. One of the main reasons that I would apply for citizenships is because my degree leads me to governmental jobs (DNR) which are not open for LPR....one you get a moment please advise, thanks!

Not a problem! As you've heard, even though the oath contains the words renouncing citizenship only hold water in the US. The actual words are: "that I absolutely and entirely renounce and abjure all allegiance and fidelity to any foreign prince, potentate, state, or sovereignty of whom or which I have heretofore been a subject or citizen;". Barring the technicality that Canada is not a foreign prince, potentate, state or sovereignity , the US is only able to command obedience to its laws within its own boundaries. The oath as stated has no legality or recognition in Canada nor does it impact Canadian citizenship. Canadian laws state that there is only one way to renounce your Canadian citizenship and that is through an actual paper application that must be properly submitted and accepted by Citizenship and Immigration Canada. Verbally stating you renounce your citizenship while in another country doesn't count in Canada. The reason? Canada officially and legally recognizes having more than one citizenship - it isn't an either/or situation. To Canada, when you accept citizenship in another country you become a Canadian PLUS that other citizenship - in this case, American. The US does not recognize Dual Citizenship but since it has no real control over how other countries behave it 'ignores' the reality that there are US citizens who are still citizens in other countries. To the US, you are only a American citizen so would require a US passport for travel abroad and returning. For Canada, you can use either the Canadian passport (best when entering Canada) or the other country's passport and they recognize both citizenships as legal.

So, as a Canadian you can eventually obtain dual citizenship through your marriage. For many Canadians it is as much a convenience as it is an honour, as having US citizenship while living in the US makes life infinitely easier.

Edited August 4, 2010 by Kathryn41

[warlord 73]

The simple version:

CANADA sees you as a CDn and USA citizen, thus dual

USA sees you just as a USA citizen!!

Your free to go and denounce your Cdn citizenship. http://www.cic.gc.ca/english/citizenship/renounce-how.asp

Yep if someone really wanted to go through that they can. For most people there's no need to or any negative effects for not doing it. India, Peru, several former Soviet countries and several African countries, however do require you to give up their citizenship. This can cause problems down the road when US citizens from those countries try and visit and they discover you gave up their citizenship.

There was that one person that actually had to enlist in the Ugandan army because he was visiting relatives and was a US citizen, but a former Ugandan one...

[Tater&Bugger 3]

The simple version:

CANADA sees you as a CDn and USA citizen, thus dual

USA sees you just as a USA citizen!!

Your free to go and denounce your Cdn citizenship. http://www.cic.gc.ca/english/citizenship/renounce-how.asp

I would never become 'unCanadian'... but this 'USA sees you just as a USC'... haha that sounds like denial! Oh well, whatever floats their boat.