Ever had doubts?

[DeadPoolX 9]

Holy. I had to stop reading your post, lgg, because your avatar was about to give me seizures.

Look like Kermit had the same problem...

[lgg 2]

You know what?

Me too...

[lost in Egypt 4 u 0]

Hello again fellow Canuck VJers.

I have a little issue to deal with

Im having doubts about starting the K-1 process. We were supposed to start it on the 31st of this month. Let me explain:

Both of us are in a very tight financial spot...him way more so than me though. So, it is me that is going to be paying for this ENTIRE thing. So I have (judging by other's timelines') appx 6-7 months to pay off my $3000 visa, and pay for the - im assuming around - $2000 in total cost of the K-1. (Including AOS, medical, and all....I will have to save it up before I move because of the no working thing for a few months). On top of this, I have to take a used to be friend of mine to small claims court by Oct for $1,200. I only make $10.00 an hour, 65-80 hours every 2 weeks. So needless to say, im going to be VERY much so hurtin in the cash department for a VERY long time. And since I wont have money to fly out to see him because of this..more than likely we won't be seeing eachother until moving day. It's so stressful on my end...words cannot describe. But I suppose the bags under my eyes can do all the talking.

That being said - heres the reasoning for my doubts. We argue - everyday. The way I look at it is: im moving countries for us, on top of paying for THE WHOLE THING. He should treat me like a princess, right? He says I don't see his point of views...but he can be a little bit of a jerk sometimes. He admits to it after we argue though (typical man). When we are together, it's wonderful. We are so in love...we feel perfect for eachother. In person he is a wonderful man - a complete gentleman. He would do anything for me - this I know.

But all this argueing...I cannot handle it any longer. Im so stressed about all this money I need to magicly conjure up. For example, here is our arguement for today via text's. I was at work, it was his day off. We pay $15 a month for world of warcraft. My time ran out today, but I get payed in 3 days so I was going to renew it on friday. He offered to pay for it, and I asked him to put it twords the I-129F fee that im supposed to be paying for at the end of the month. I mean, it's better than nothing. $15 is alot to me right now...im sure we can live without playing WoW together for 3 days...

I just realized I deleted the text's . But it was basicly I spend too much money on myself ( I bought some fish...and I get my nails done twice a month..LOL) and I need to watch my money and him giving me $15 is nothing...and it's obvious I dont want to spend time in WoW with him and that apparently that is me telling him how to spend his money.

Thats just a little example. On top of the - he fights with me when I go out with my friends...just alot of stupid little arguements like that. The arguement today really made me upset. One, I was at work, two - who the HELL does he think he is giving me ####### for money when im paying for everything for us. And I can't even afford, but im still doing it.

So im having severe doubts. I feel like he dosn't care about me as much as I do him...or he isn't looking at this in a very serious matter. I feel...distanced, like im not even in a relationship anymore. I love him..and I want to be with him. Iv heard people never change...and iv experienced this first hand with men. Do you think it's because of the distance that he argues with me like this? Or am I about to make a huge mistake? Im so scared to move...that il be stuck in Florida wondering why I did what I did.

Appologies for the novel, thank you for reading

Ddont do it ...........mo women should ever have to pay for a guy anything ..................if he really loses u he will come up with the money...........plus u argue to much....its est tp let him go now and be hurt then to let him go later then to be hurt for life ................let him gooooooooooooooo !

[thetreble 19]

Ddont do it ...........mo women should ever have to pay for a guy anything ..................if he really loses u he will come up with the money...........plus u argue to much....its est tp let him go now and be hurt then to let him go later then to be hurt for life ................let him gooooooooooooooo !

Wow. Great piece of advice. A woman should never pay for anything? Yes, make her subservient and never let her make/spend her own money. This is old school bullsh1t that I hate seeing.

Tell him you are not going to go through with it, and then he will come up with the money for your visa.

[Sprailenes 47]

Ddont do it ...........mo women should ever have to pay for a guy anything ..................if he really loses u he will come up with the money...........plus u argue to much....its est tp let him go now and be hurt then to let him go later then to be hurt for life ................let him gooooooooooooooo !

Wow. Great piece of advice. A woman should never pay for anything? Yes, make her subservient and never let her make/spend her own money. This is old school bullsh1t that I hate seeing.

Tell him you are not going to go through with it, and then he will come up with the money for your visa.

[thetreble 19]

haha Unbelievable, right? Like a different world.

[Sprailenes 47]

I agree. Sometimes I wonder about people.. and what decade they live in

[thetreble 19]

My husband COULDN'T pay for everything. Rent, mortgage, bills, etc.? Plus, I love being able to financially contribute. It gives me a very big sense of satisfaction in my life. Plus, if I want to buy myself something, I'm pretty sure I've gotta pay for it. haha

[Bern. 3]

This is one of the many reasons why I refuse to venture into other regional forums besides Canada. But yeah, when my husband and I were dating, it was hard to come up with the money for just trips. So, we split costs most of the time, we help each other. Thats the way it should be.

[000 0]

Sorry to hear about your situation.

I do not mean to sound discouraging. But, the control issues really bothered me. (Not wanting you to go out with friends, worried about what you spend your money on) These are things I would take into serious consideration when you decide one way or the other. Usually, once a controller, always a controller.

Manuel and I have known each other for three years. But, we didn't send in our I129 until March of this year.

My financial situation is a little better than yours. But, very similar. The way we are handling it is that I am paying for all of the paperwork that I send in. He is paying for the rest of the things himself. He works 14 hours days, 6 days a week, and makes around 70 US dollars a week. We would have liked to have sent our paperwork in sooner. But, that was not financially feasible. My advice would be to take a realistic look at your finances. Figure out when you would realistically be able to meet all of the financial responsibilities that come with starting this journey. If you need to wait a little while, fine. I know waiting is hard. But, at the same time that will give you a little more time to get to know each other even better and to try to resolve the other issues that you are facing.

If he truly loves you, he will be willing to wait.

Manuel and me have talked about several issues and agree on most. But, the ones we don't agree on is no big deal. We respect each other opinions and he has never been disrespectful in any way.

Good luck and God bless!

[lgg 2]

Oh my god, you made me laugh!

Seriously, when I changed it this morning, I though #######, I have headache.

Thanks for the laugh... Changed it, it was nerve wracking watching him up there spaz out.

Love the frog though...

I got a bit of the Miss Piggy in me. It's all the bacon!

Holy. I had to stop reading your post, lgg, because your avatar was about to give me seizures.

[Krikit 1,164]

Haha. Thanks for changing it. I like to be able to read people's posts.

There's a couple of people whose signatures are way too big and their text scrolls beyond the width of the screen. I don't read their posts either.

Hey. I want that guy that pays for everything!

[lgg 2]

No problem! Your post still makes me giggle -- I am a very simple girl. Plus having my posts be unreadable is slightly counterproductive.

Dunno about that guy who pays for everything though, who knows what kind of shenanigans he'd want in return.

Haha. Thanks for changing it. I like to be able to read people's posts.

There's a couple of people whose signatures are way too big and their text scrolls beyond the width of the screen. I don't read their posts either.

Hey. I want that guy that pays for everything!

Edited July 20, 2009 by lgg

[thetreble 19]

Krikit- My husband happened to see your sig as I was writing a post the other day and he was like, "I LOVE THAT PICTURE!"

[trailmix 77]

No problem! Your post still makes me giggle -- I am a very simple girl. Plus having my posts be unreadable is slightly counterproductive.

Dunno about that guy who pays for everything though, who knows what kind of shenanigans he'd want in return.

Yay! I was just scrolling past your posts really fast