Safe amount of time

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

Me too - I wish you all the happiness, Tammy.

But ain't nothing wrong with taking your time... it's not like you have an expiration date!

I agree with taking your time the second time around. I'm very happy that you've found someone that makes you happy but seriously I would wait if not for me then for the children. They get so confused so easily you know and maybe they could use a little alone time with mom? Just my two cents but whatever you do I hope your life is full of happiness this time.

Tammy,

Tammy,

Tammy,

I know you need this trip to Egypt and a chance at love again....and this guy may very well be sweet and help your kids on skype with their homework but the reality of everyday life with a 40 year old plus single mom with small kids may crack the illusions he has been building in his head about America...If you can handle another divorce and want to live in the moment, I say go for it. We all want love and you losing your mom has been a huge loss. He may very well be compassionate and kind ..but please oh please be prepared for a hit and brace yourself. Maybe you will have a few years of happiness and maybe this happiness will add something to your life but if he is substantially younger, for gods sake be honest with yourself and be pragmatic. I think its malarky the whole waiting thing. A cat is a cat and a dog is a dog. You cannot wait out a huge age difference and other factors.. They are there. He may very well feel love for you...but sometimes love is not enough to survice other insurmoutable things. You need to tell this new guy the truth about what happened, be blatantly honest about your financial situation and how long k1s take out of Egypt. You could be bracing for a 2 year fight... Are you ready to fight to bring someone here and then survive another abandonment? You could find an American man or an arab already here who will commit to you and build you up and those 3 years you could spend building a life instead of a sandcastle. Why don't you look stateside for love? A guy in yahoo can be whatever you want him to be but a man here can fill your needs. You are attractive. I suggest looking around HERE for people HERE and saving your children and yourself the heartache....If you can survive another blow, do it. If you cannot which from your previous posts, you said you were financially devastated and your kids messed up, I would stick closer to home. There are millions of wonderful people in the US. Look for one closer to home that will not bleed you dry of energy and whatever heart you have left.

Whatever you do, no one blames you because all of us want to be loved...

[~Jackie~ 30]

kat

kat

kat,, malarky?

I'm glad I let my heart reach out and sing again. And what's 2 years to wait for a man you love and trust and respect.

GO GO 2.0

jJ

Edited July 11, 2009 by just_Jackie

[morocco4ever 63]

Not to mention that marriages with an age difference can work if the 2 people involved are mature and know what to expect.

[aya*abouelnasr 0]

I so hope I don't offend anyone with what I am about to say. Simply, I don't like American men. As the saying goes, been there, done that.

Islam has made no secret of the fact that he wants out of egypt, asap. I can't say I blame him, and at least he is honest about it. It's not about the fact that he is younger, good looking, or hot. I didn't fall in love with him for those reasons. I fell in love with him because he is open and honest, funny, smart, kind, caring, the list goes on. I love him because he goes out of his way to do things for me. Little things, like staying on skype with the boys while I run errands, even when it's 4am and he has to work the next day. Going to mosque on Friday and then lessons and coming back to teach me those same lessons in a way I will understand.

When we first discussed the possibility of us having a relationship, I questioned him about the financial aspects of the immigration process. He is adamant that the financials will be paid for by him, and that it is his responsibility, and in no way am I to spend a dime.

[Nagishkaw 510]

Tammy, it is YOUR life and only you know how you want to live it. I must say you have gotten some good advice from all who have posted here, but you know in the end the choice is up to you. Pray about it, you can't go wrong there, but be able to discern from whom those answers are coming from.

[~Jess~ 0]

Hugs Tammy, It is your life. We can only wish you the best and hope with you that it works out.

[aya*abouelnasr 0]

I do appreciate all the words of caution, advice, and good wishes. Yes, ultimately the only one that can make this decision is me. Some things in life are meant to be, some are not, inshaa allah, this is one that is meant to be. We all take our happiness when and where we find it!

[~Jackie~ 30]

wishing you the best!

jJ

[JeanneVictoria 55]

I so hope I don't offend anyone with what I am about to say. Simply, I don't like American men. As the saying goes, been there, done that.

Islam has made no secret of the fact that he wants out of egypt, asap. I can't say I blame him, and at least he is honest about it. It's not about the fact that he is younger, good looking, or hot. I didn't fall in love with him for those reasons. I fell in love with him because he is open and honest, funny, smart, kind, caring, the list goes on. I love him because he goes out of his way to do things for me. Little things, like staying on skype with the boys while I run errands, even when it's 4am and he has to work the next day. Going to mosque on Friday and then lessons and coming back to teach me those same lessons in a way I will understand.

When we first discussed the possibility of us having a relationship, I questioned him about the financial aspects of the immigration process. He is adamant that the financials will be paid for by him, and that it is his responsibility, and in no way am I to spend a dime.

Tammy, this statement really has me worried. My hope is you are thinking with a clear head instead of jumping into another relationship without giving it at least 2-3 years. If it is love, then clearly the test of time will tell. Give yourself a break sweetie. Give time to your kids and yourself before beginning another long and tedious process of paperwork and stressful situations. You SO deserve it!

Good luck in whatever you chose.

[SuperDuper! 230]

I so hope I don't offend anyone with what I am about to say. Simply, I don't like American men. As the saying goes, been there, done that.

Islam has made no secret of the fact that he wants out of egypt, asap. I can't say I blame him, and at least he is honest about it. It's not about the fact that he is younger, good looking, or hot. I didn't fall in love with him for those reasons. I fell in love with him because he is open and honest, funny, smart, kind, caring, the list goes on. I love him because he goes out of his way to do things for me. Little things, like staying on skype with the boys while I run errands, even when it's 4am and he has to work the next day. Going to mosque on Friday and then lessons and coming back to teach me those same lessons in a way I will understand.

When we first discussed the possibility of us having a relationship, I questioned him about the financial aspects of the immigration process. He is adamant that the financials will be paid for by him, and that it is his responsibility, and in no way am I to spend a dime.

Tammy, this statement really has me worried. My hope is you are thinking with a clear head instead of jumping into another relationship without giving it at least 2-3 years. If it is love, then clearly the test of time will tell. Give yourself a break sweetie. Give time to your kids and yourself before beginning another long and tedious process of paperwork and stressful situations. You SO deserve it!

Good luck in whatever you chose.

I really cant understand why people tell others that they need "to take a break" for a certain length of time btwn relationships. Each person knows what they are comfortable with.

Maybe when we were in our teens, 20s and 30s we could afford to "take a break" for a year or two btwn relationships. But hitting the 40s makes us realize that we dont have much time left before it is game over and the lights go out.

We must seek our happiness now. There is no tmrw, for today is all we got.

If girl wants to marry another man from the land of pyramids next week, more power to her. Pyramid Power to her!

[doodlebugg 10]

I so hope I don't offend anyone with what I am about to say. Simply, I don't like American men. As the saying goes, been there, done that.

Islam has made no secret of the fact that he wants out of egypt, asap. I can't say I blame him, and at least he is honest about it. It's not about the fact that he is younger, good looking, or hot. I didn't fall in love with him for those reasons. I fell in love with him because he is open and honest, funny, smart, kind, caring, the list goes on. I love him because he goes out of his way to do things for me. Little things, like staying on skype with the boys while I run errands, even when it's 4am and he has to work the next day. Going to mosque on Friday and then lessons and coming back to teach me those same lessons in a way I will understand.

When we first discussed the possibility of us having a relationship, I questioned him about the financial aspects of the immigration process. He is adamant that the financials will be paid for by him, and that it is his responsibility, and in no way am I to spend a dime.

Tammy, this statement really has me worried. My hope is you are thinking with a clear head instead of jumping into another relationship without giving it at least 2-3 years. If it is love, then clearly the test of time will tell. Give yourself a break sweetie. Give time to your kids and yourself before beginning another long and tedious process of paperwork and stressful situations. You SO deserve it!

Good luck in whatever you chose.

I really cant understand why people tell others that they need "to take a break" for a certain length of time btwn relationships. Each person knows what they are comfortable with.

Maybe when we were in our teens, 20s and 30s we could afford to "take a break" for a year or two btwn relationships. But hitting the 40s makes us realize that we dont have much time left before it is game over and the lights go out.

We must seek our happiness now. There is no tmrw, for today is all we got.

If girl wants to marry another man from the land of pyramids next week, more power to her. Pyramid Power to her!

I understand totally what you are saying BUT it's a whole different ballgame when children are involved. It's no longer about what WE want, you know? The day those little blessings are born our lives change forever. They have no one but us to guide them through life and nourish them so that they can become self sufficient adults with their heads on straight.

Divorce is hard no matter how long you've been married. Hard on everyone, not just the husband and wife. My point was just that perhaps the kids need a break for a little while.

[sara..... 371]

you have a lot of courage ur in my prayers.

i could not do what ur doing, i have not made it to the point of marraige yet but this process has made me decide not to ever again attempt this if our petition fails.

you are a very strong person go thru what u have and still have an optimistic out look shows how great u r

sara

[SaadBell 0]

You go for it, life is too short, one of my favorite patients passed from a massive stroke this weekend. Yes she was old, but damn life is short, and you better grab on to what you can, and by the way when you are sitting in the nursing home one day you will have some great stories to tell. Bridget is right about children, just try to shield them as much as you can. I am off for one week, OMG I am freaking off for one week, I do have that paper that the hospital wants to publish to finish, ok, to at least get some pages started. Pray for me people. lol

[Muh and me 18]

Good Lucky Tammy! I don't think I could go thru that process again. But if it makes you happy thats all that should matter.

[Meriem_DZ 37]

You go for it, life is too short, one of my favorite patients passed from a massive stroke this weekend. Yes she was old, but damn life is short, and you better grab on to what you can, and by the way when you are sitting in the nursing home one day you will have some great stories to tell. Bridget is right about children, just try to shield them as much as you can. I am off for one week, OMG I am freaking off for one week, I do have that paper that the hospital wants to publish to finish, ok, to at least get some pages started. Pray for me people. lol

Amen sister G_G, I was thinking the very same thing, life is to short. Good luck, Tammy. You do what in your heart is best for you and your family. I wish for you all the happiness you deserve.

Meriem