Are Muslims in America Unfriendly?

[Aymsgirl 0]

The only time I have experienced being left out of a conversation is when I was sitting with the women having Iftar at the mosque last Ramadan. Every other time my husband would stop and explain or somebody that spoke English well enough would stop the converstaion and make sure I understood what was going on.

[SaadBell 0]

It is rude to talk another language if someone doesn't understand, now that said, if I am with my husband and in an Arabic speaking country, I will ask him to speak in Arabic and relay back. My family only speaks english in front of Hesham expect him and Alissa, my daughter will speak Italian, to make me look bad, they both have a kind of following of Italy, me not so much, but yea, nice way to talk about me in front of me. My grandparents were straight out of country so they tended to speak to each other in Spanish, I totally ignored it, unless I thought they were talking about me. Off subject, which these days I am ADD, the only language I truly spoke well was from some tribe in Nigeria, don't even ask, lol, my family was like you can speak this language but can't speak two words in Spanish or Arabic. Geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzzzzzzz

[catknit 144]

About the speaking a 2nd language in front of a non-speaker. Even though I never said anything I was hurt and found the practice super rude with my former inlaws. Everyone spoke decent English [the former parents-in-law were immigrants, my ex and his siblings were born and raised in the US].

After a while, I thought about it a bit more and the fact of the matter is that in their family they spoke Arabic. It was only during these occasional [maybe once every couple of weeks] that everyone would get together for dinner. Instead of getting all ruffled about what may be being said around me I figured a couple hours every 20 days [or whatever] for all of them to feel like home and family was really home and family - not some modified subtitled dinner for the one who doesn't speak Arabic.

I will temper this by saying I felt much, much, much more at ease after getting a run down on the Arabic for name calling - no need to have catknit and the s word in the same sentence, thank you .

The absolute opposite of this was my former father-in-law's declaration that I could never learn Arabic because I had no Arab blood. My response questioning what do non-Arab Muslims do about that was met with - well...and a whole bunch of back peddling. Some Arabs do have major superiority issues...

[Staashi 371]

Ladies, I have to tell you my little story:

Today, I was in a rush and had to print something off the 'puter at the local library. I needed some help and I noticed that there was a black hijabi librarian. She was on the phone and kind of looked like she was being put out by the person on the line. She got off the phone exasperated. I let her gather her composure and I said, "Asalam alakum" to her, she looked at me like - whoa , and then all of a sudden she got a huge smile on her face and replied "wa alaikum asalaam". After that she was the nicest person and she couldn't have been kinder. I think she even wanted to invite me to dinner, as she mentioned when we were speaking about goats that I should come to her home and try the goat that she makes. I don't think she could believe that here in Tallahassee some blonde-haired, blue-eyed, bermuda shorts wearing gal would say that to her...it was just a nice, spontaneous moment.

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

When I lived in Norway the people consciously spoke English in front of me and around me if they all knew English. I was invited to Easter at one of the families house and it was there that they all spoke Norwegian and this was because the older grandparents didn't speak English. Even still the younger generation made sure to translate for me what was being spoken as often as they could. One of the Grandparents asked, "She doesn't speak a word of Norwegian?" And they told her no and even the Grandparents observed and said, "I feel sorry for her then that we are all speaking Norwegian and she doesn't understand."

Sometimes Waleed would translate but he doesn't translate everything and in that car ride from the wedding to the hotel he didn't translate most of it as he was caught up in the excitement and whatever the three of them were talking and laughing about. I felt like a shadow of a memory and just looked out the window watching the city slip by as they honked the horn in the traditional sense that somebody just got married. All the horns would honk in chores as we drove along and one weapons officer Waleed knew from the military would escort our car and race them nearly the whole drive. Boy will be boys.

[caybee 21]

Ladies, I have to tell you my little story:

Today, I was in a rush and had to print something off the 'puter at the local library. I needed some help and I noticed that there was a black hijabi librarian. She was on the phone and kind of looked like she was being put out by the person on the line. She got off the phone exasperated. I let her gather her composure and I said, "Asalam alakum" to her, she looked at me like - whoa , and then all of a sudden she got a huge smile on her face and replied "wa alaikum asalaam". After that she was the nicest person and she couldn't have been kinder. I think she even wanted to invite me to dinner, as she mentioned when we were speaking about goats that I should come to her home and try the goat that she makes. I don't think she could believe that here in Tallahassee some blonde-haired, blue-eyed, bermuda shorts wearing gal would say that to her...it was just a nice, spontaneous moment.

Sweet Sounds like you turned her day around.

A couple of my husband's sibs spoke a little English, but his parents and other siblings did not, so the conversations were all in Darija when I was there (well, his mom did know a couple of words in English and used them with me, bless her ). But my husband did translate for me, and the family would leave gaps for him to do that, so I felt included.

Now, here, when my husband is with his friends, they can get carried away. It's usually his friends who remember first to speak some English if I'm around. And I'm starting to pick up a few words, so sometimes I can follow at least the topic of conversation.

[Bigbear 1]

I was invited for dinner to one of their houses and my husband who can't speak Arabic! and he said while he was sitting with the men! they were speaking to each other in Arabic while he is just sitting there! That was RUDE! even in Islam the prophet said we should never do that!

This helped teach me to distinguish between classes in Egypt. Because of my work, I meet people from all social classes. Those from the upper classes NEVER leave me to sit and not understand. Instead, even if their English isn't perfect, they will speak English in order to include me. If it's not, and the group is speaking Arabic, someone will make sure I at least get a summary of the conversation, and they will frequently ask my opinion. People from the lower classes, even those who speak English on at least a basic level, NEVER do that. I'm certain that if you think about it and ask yourself where they come from, you'll agree with me that this was the reason behind it.

If you can speak a common language in a social setting, it is rude to speak Arabic or any other language in a social setting when it leaves anyone out. I know I've been doubted for not posting in Arabic on this board when Arabic was being posted to me, but I won't do it. There have been too many situations in and out of the US where the wives of western Arab friends are being left out of conversations and that is not only rude, but unIslamic. Many Arabs consider Arabic to be the language of God because it's the language of the Quran, but it's best to apply the Message of the Quran and demonstrate mercy and inclusiveness when dealing with people who intend no harm to you by not harmng them, as well.

that is what i told my husband but according to him, its their culture. I just think its plain rude.

I've heard that from other Moroccans, too, but rudeness is not culture, it's a lack of culture. He knows better.

I can't agree with you about that speaking Arabic is part of the belief! and it's excuse for people to be rude! There is no verse in the whole Quraan or even Hadith by the prophet who said you must speak Arabic?? instead the prophet said there is no difference between any person or another " regardless of the langauge they speak" the only thing that will differentiate between people is their actions! Not the language they speak! so Is a man who is Muslim and don't know how speak Arabic less infront of god that a man who does? Of course not!!

So yeah speaking arabic soes not make you any better than others! Those people my husband was at their house they were laughing while he was just sitting there! and they never give a darn to explain what they were laughing about esp. he was the only American there! and one of them was the Imam of the Mosque! esp he is new to islam so the question is was they a good model for him to follow! my answer is NO! I was so embarrased infront of my husband because they come from the same country!!! I came from!

I had an Italian friend who stayed with me a month when I was living in Cairo and oneday we was invited for dinner at Greek people and thir mother was Italian so when my italian friend was speaking italian with that greek guy she made sure to stop and explain every single word she was saying in italian esp. she was not a good English speaker!

[amysaid 9]

All this talk of English vs. Arabic reminds me of an old friend, who used to swear like a sailor in English, but never swore in Arabic. Why? Because if he swore in Arabic, Allah would hear him.

[HLM 1]

Ladies, I have to tell you my little story:

Today, I was in a rush and had to print something off the 'puter at the local library. I needed some help and I noticed that there was a black hijabi librarian. She was on the phone and kind of looked like she was being put out by the person on the line. She got off the phone exasperated. I let her gather her composure and I said, "Asalam alakum" to her, she looked at me like - whoa , and then all of a sudden she got a huge smile on her face and replied "wa alaikum asalaam". After that she was the nicest person and she couldn't have been kinder. I think she even wanted to invite me to dinner, as she mentioned when we were speaking about goats that I should come to her home and try the goat that she makes. I don't think she could believe that here in Tallahassee some blonde-haired, blue-eyed, bermuda shorts wearing gal would say that to her...it was just a nice, spontaneous moment.

Aww it's a really nice story thnx for sharing!

[Bigbear 1]

All this talk of English vs. Arabic reminds me of an old friend, who used to swear like a sailor in English, but never swore in Arabic. Why? Because if he swore in Arabic, Allah would hear him.

That's sooooooooooooooooo funny!

[100% Al Ahly Fan 53]

All this talk of English vs. Arabic reminds me of an old friend, who used to swear like a sailor in English, but never swore in Arabic. Why? Because if he swore in Arabic, Allah would hear him.

That's sooooooooooooooooo funny!

Hee hee, funny indeed!

[caybee 21]

All this talk of English vs. Arabic reminds me of an old friend, who used to swear like a sailor in English, but never swore in Arabic. Why? Because if he swore in Arabic, Allah would hear him.

That's sooooooooooooooooo funny!

That is funny

My husband told me there are no swear words in Arabic. Darija, yes, but not Arabic

[amysaid 9]

All this talk of English vs. Arabic reminds me of an old friend, who used to swear like a sailor in English, but never swore in Arabic. Why? Because if he swore in Arabic, Allah would hear him.

That's sooooooooooooooooo funny!

That is funny

My husband told me there are no swear words in Arabic. Darija, yes, but not Arabic

Hmmm. Then ask him what sharmoota means

[Aymsgirl 0]

Hey, now that is the only Arabic I know....the ugly words! For some reason they are the only ones that stick out in my mind. I have no idea where they are derivative from but I have learned a few bad phrases over the years.

[caybee 21]

All this talk of English vs. Arabic reminds me of an old friend, who used to swear like a sailor in English, but never swore in Arabic. Why? Because if he swore in Arabic, Allah would hear him.

That's sooooooooooooooooo funny!

That is funny

My husband told me there are no swear words in Arabic. Darija, yes, but not Arabic

Hmmm. Then ask him what sharmoota means

I'll ask him by phone

I take his absolutes with a little grain of salt