Muslims and Public Displays of Affection

[Meriem_DZ 37]

In Algeria, we would occasionally walk hand in hand or my arm in his. Here in the states most of the time he holds my hand or puts his arm around me. He will hug me and give me a quick kiss on the lips or the cheek in public.

Hachemi's family had a satellite dish with about 900 or so channels. They got French, German, Arabic and English channels. As the family would sit around in the evenings watching tv, his dad would have control of the remote. His dad would flip the channel as soon as it looked like a couple was about to kiss. Twice while I was there a couple was about to kiss and he flipped the channel quickly right to a porno channel where there was a couple getting it on. He would quickly flip it again. I just burried my face in my hands.

Meriem

[Mommy2ZaidnSalma 11]

I am very shocked by all the responses. I mean, In Jordan Sofyan obviously had issues with the young kids watching love making scenes but never adults. We also kissed at the airport and the day we got married, and many more times for that matter. We are definitly not slobbing all over one another but I dont see anything wrong it. I dont know, to each their own I guess..

PDA doesnt seem to bother him when he sees it here. We have watched movies with groups of people that had some steamy love making scenes and that as well is never an issue. I would be pretty PO'd If I watched an entire movie and was told I couldnt watch the end bc there were nude people in it.

[Ahmed N Tina 2]

I am very shocked by all the responses. I mean, In Jordan Sofyan obviously had issues with the young kids watching love making scenes but never adults. We also kissed at the airport and the day we got married, and many more times for that matter. We are definitly not slobbing all over one another but I dont see anything wrong it. I dont know, to each their own I guess..

PDA doesnt seem to bother him when he sees it here. We have watched movies with groups of people that had some steamy love making scenes and that as well is never an issue. I would be pretty PO'd If I watched an entire movie and was told I couldnt watch the end bc there were nude people in it.

I was, biggest fight we've had. Decided it's not worth it in the end. Gotta pick my battles till he gets to the point of not being so rigid with some of his cultural/religious ideals.

The only thing he stares at out in public are the cross dressers/transvestites (sp?). He's always shocked at them and will take pictures of them with his phone! Oh, and the Oober hoochies, but no pictures of them, just shock and then laughs at them.

[sandinista! 1,816]

I am very shocked by all the responses. I mean, In Jordan Sofyan obviously had issues with the young kids watching love making scenes but never adults. We also kissed at the airport and the day we got married, and many more times for that matter. We are definitly not slobbing all over one another but I dont see anything wrong it. I dont know, to each their own I guess..

PDA doesnt seem to bother him when he sees it here. We have watched movies with groups of people that had some steamy love making scenes and that as well is never an issue. I would be pretty PO'd If I watched an entire movie and was told I couldnt watch the end bc there were nude people in it.

I was, biggest fight we've had. Decided it's not worth it in the end. Gotta pick my battles till he gets to the point of not being so rigid with some of his cultural/religious ideals.

The only thing he stares at out in public are the cross dressers/transvestites (sp?). He's always shocked at them and will take pictures of them with his phone! Oh, and the Oober hoochies, but no pictures of them, just shock and then laughs at them.

that is very strange, odd behaviour.

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

Well turns out I don't have to sit on the remote during the movies if there is kissing. We watched Back to the Future and Marty McFly kisses his girlfriend and there was no fast forwarding or skipping. We also watched The Machinest and the lead character Christian Bale has a hooker girlfriend and many love scenes and we made it through those as well without altercation so I guess movies are going to be ok. It's just while watching the news that I have to sit on the remote if I find the programming interesting.

[Sandrila 1]

what i think rahma meant, (tell me if i'm wrong) wasn't about one's own husband being jealous, but rather others around you becoming jealous when they see you in public displays of affection. like she said, avoiding being boastful of the good you have to avoid arousing envy others might feel for your relationship. i've heard the same account from my husband about that, that sometimes when people see you have something good, it makes them wish ill will towards you, like you need to be taken down a peg or something. i don't think she's talking about someone's husband feeling jealous about actors or rock stars.

Yes, that's what I meant.

Jealousy is a disease of the heart, and I do not want to be a spark of that disease in another person.

There's a concept of the evil eye found in a few hadith, and it's manifested differently in different muslim cultures. We don't associate with a lot of egyptians, so I'm 100% versed in their quirks, but from what I know, marriage isn't something that's talked about amongst other people. At least according to AbuS, one doesn't refer to one's spouse by name with their friends. It's not hidden - everyone knows s/he is married, but it's just not something that's a topic of conversation.

Although it's an old book, Edward Lane wrote a bit about the evil eye in his book "The Manner and Customs of Modern Egyptians:"

enclosed in a case, generally of a triangular form, attached to the top of the cap; and horses often have similar appendages. The Egyptians take many precautions against the evil eye; and anxiously endeavour to avert its imagined consequences. When a person expresses what is considered improper or envious admiration of anything, he is generally reproved by the individual whom he has thus alarmed, who says to him, " Bless the Prophet! " 2 and if the envier obeys, saying, " O God, bless him !" 8 no ill effects are apprehended. It is considered very improper for a person to express his admiration of another, or of any object which is not his own property, by saying, " God preserve us !" * " How pretty !" or, " Very pretty I" The most approved expression in such cases is "Ma shaa-llah!" (or "What God willeth [cometh to pass !"] ) ; which implies both admiration, and submission to, or approval of, the will of God. A person who has exclaimed " How pretty!" or used similar words, is often desired to say, rather, " Ma shaa-llah !" as well as to bless the Prophet. In the second chapter of this work a remarkable illustration has been given of the fear which mothers in Egypt entertain of the effect of the evil eye upon their children. It is the custom in this country, when a person takes the child of another into his arms, to say, " In the name of God, the Compassionate, the Merciful:" and, " O God, bless our lord Mohammad :" and then to add, "Ma shaa-llah!" It is also a common custom of the people of Egypt, when admiring a child, to say, " I seek refuge with the Lord of the Day-break for thee : " alluding to the Chapter of the Day-break (the ii3th chapter of the Kur-an); in the end of which, protection is implored against the mischief of the envious. The parents, when they see a person stare at, or seem to envy, their young offspring, sometimes cut off a piece of the skirts of his clothes, burn it with a little salt (to which some add coriander-seed, alum, &c.), and fumigate with the smoke, and sprinkle with the ashes, the child or children. This, it is said, should be done a little before sunset, when the sun becomes red.

Jealousy is a very bad trait to have excessively.

I can understand being jealous when your spouse or SO has been caught in a disrespectful manner with the opposite sex, but just normal interaction with the opposite sex at work or having polite demeanor, small talk with opposite sex in public should provoke being labeled disrespectful. I know it is a whole nother subject but my husband has gotten so nit picky about any interactions or conversations with men. I think it is overboard completely and for an american woman we see things a different way. He thinks it too open and easy way as far as men/women relations go.

Men and women certainly can't be friends because there is definitely an underlying motive there.

We have had too many talks to mention on this and can be quite stifling when it just common everyday conversation and courtesy when dealing in public or in the work place.

I do know that unlike normal banter amongst men here, hubby stated he would never utter anything to do with me to a friend or male in his family NOR should they ever ask him anything to do with me. Talking about what goes intimately or troubles within the relationship is definitely off limits. It just seems clear not like the joking that goes on between men about their wives here. Unlike the hugging and small pecks on the cheek that go on between mutual friends of a man and wife or spending time alone even with a mutual friend of the opposite sex.

It has made me look at things quite differently but not at all easy to accept.

[Ahmed N Tina 2]

I am very shocked by all the responses. I mean, In Jordan Sofyan obviously had issues with the young kids watching love making scenes but never adults. We also kissed at the airport and the day we got married, and many more times for that matter. We are definitly not slobbing all over one another but I dont see anything wrong it. I dont know, to each their own I guess..

PDA doesnt seem to bother him when he sees it here. We have watched movies with groups of people that had some steamy love making scenes and that as well is never an issue. I would be pretty PO'd If I watched an entire movie and was told I couldnt watch the end bc there were nude people in it.

I was, biggest fight we've had. Decided it's not worth it in the end. Gotta pick my battles till he gets to the point of not being so rigid with some of his cultural/religious ideals.

The only thing he stares at out in public are the cross dressers/transvestites (sp?). He's always shocked at them and will take pictures of them with his phone! Oh, and the Oober hoochies, but no pictures of them, just shock and then laughs at them.

that is very strange, odd behaviour.

I don't know, he's only been here 3 months and Trannies and girls with their boobs and buns hanging out isn't exactly common in Egypt. So I don't think it's so odd or strange.

[chaishai 1]

I am very shocked by all the responses. I mean, In Jordan Sofyan obviously had issues with the young kids watching love making scenes but never adults. We also kissed at the airport and the day we got married, and many more times for that matter. We are definitly not slobbing all over one another but I dont see anything wrong it. I dont know, to each their own I guess..

PDA doesnt seem to bother him when he sees it here. We have watched movies with groups of people that had some steamy love making scenes and that as well is never an issue. I would be pretty PO'd If I watched an entire movie and was told I couldnt watch the end bc there were nude people in it.

I was, biggest fight we've had. Decided it's not worth it in the end. Gotta pick my battles till he gets to the point of not being so rigid with some of his cultural/religious ideals.

The only thing he stares at out in public are the cross dressers/transvestites (sp?). He's always shocked at them and will take pictures of them with his phone! Oh, and the Oober hoochies, but no pictures of them, just shock and then laughs at them.

that is very strange, odd behaviour.

I don't know, he's only been here 3 months and Trannies and girls with their boobs and buns hanging out isn't exactly common in Egypt. So I don't think it's so odd or strange.

but why a picture?!

[doodlebugg 10]

The picture is a little over the top but my husband would definitely be staring and laughing, probably out of nervousness if nothing else.

As for love scenes in movies I never really thought about it until the other night but he actually gets up during those scenes and goes into the other room. I just figured he was getting a soda or going to the bathroom but come to think of it it's each time it's a love scene and it's the only time he gets up and doesn't ask me to pause it. lol

[Ahmed N Tina 2]

He's taking a picture with his phone and sending it to me at work to see what he saw. He's just surprised by it and thinks I'll be shocked too.

[Nagishkaw 510]

FTW.

[doodlebugg 10]

FTW.

fk the world?

fort worth?

I swear to God there are so many acronyms in this world it just makes your head spin!!!

[~PalmTreeGurl~ 154]

FTW.

fk the world?

fort worth?

I swear to God there are so many acronyms in this world it just makes your head spin!!!

"For The Win."

An enthusiastic emphasis to the end of a comment, message, or post. Sometimes genuine, but often sarcastic.

[100% Al Ahly Fan 53]

FTW.

fk the world?

fort worth?

I swear to God there are so many acronyms in this world it just makes your head spin!!!

This made me laugh out loud!! I agree though to many acronyms, I never know what all of them mean. LOL!

Oh and thank Tamara, I wouldn't have know what it meant either. Nagi hun...we aren't all as hip as you in this virtual world. I gotta get with the time and learn the cool stuff, hee hee

Edited June 18, 2009 by 100% Al Ahly Fan