How to help adjust when here?

[JoBri 547]

My wife misses her job, misses her friends, misses her country.... It takes so long before she can work here, to get work permit. Sigh...

[SuperDuper! 230]

My wife misses her job, misses her friends, misses her country.... It takes so long before she can work here, to get work permit. Sigh...

So what was your plan regarding what to do with her, once she is here??? Did you even think to sign up for the TFC/GMA cable channels for her?? Did you provide a computer for her family at home, so they can cam chat each day?? Did you find your local Filipino community/church for her to join with there? Do you encourage her to take up new hobbies and vocations and projects at home??

More background info please....

[JoBri 547]

My wife misses her job, misses her friends, misses her country.... It takes so long before she can work here, to get work permit. Sigh...

So what was your plan regarding what to do with her, once she is here??? Did you even think to sign up for the TFC/GMA cable channels for her?? Did you provide a computer for her family at home, so they can cam chat each day?? Did you find your local Filipino community/church for her to join with there? Do you encourage her to take up new hobbies and vocations and projects at home??

More background info please....

Hmmmm....

Well, I offered to get the filipino channels, and also found Manila radio stations for her online, but she said it was too painful to listen to programming from back home. She has no family, she is an orphan. But I had a cell phone for her from the beginning so she could stay in touch with her friends, as well a a computer to do so. There is no such thing as a filipino community or church here, although we go to my church. This is a small mountain town in southwestern Virginia. But before she got here I searched a long time for filipinos in the area, and found one, who has tried hard to be her friend. But that street has to run both ways. I found a place for her to go to hte gym, as she likes to do, but that will be difficult for her until she can drive, since there is no public transportation ehre, and the one cab driver is out of town on vacation. I did get her to study and test for her learners permit so she can get ehr drivers licnese and drive herself to places on her own when she wants when I am at work. I found an asian market 30 minutes away, and a woman there is also from the philippines, and shared her phone number with my wife, but she hasnt called her yet either. And I have been doing all I can to get AOS moving along so she can start working as soon as possible. I think I have done just about all I could do

[JoBri 547]

My wife misses her job, misses her friends, misses her country.... It takes so long before she can work here, to get work permit. Sigh...

So what was your plan regarding what to do with her, once she is here??? Did you even think to sign up for the TFC/GMA cable channels for her?? Did you provide a computer for her family at home, so they can cam chat each day?? Did you find your local Filipino community/church for her to join with there? Do you encourage her to take up new hobbies and vocations and projects at home??

More background info please....

Hmmmm....

Well, I offered to get the filipino channels, and also found Manila radio stations for her online, but she said it was too painful to listen to programming from back home. She has no family, she is an orphan. But I had a cell phone for her from the beginning so she could stay in touch with her friends, as well a a computer to do so. There is no such thing as a filipino community or church here, although we go to my church. This is a small mountain town in southwestern Virginia. But before she got here I searched a long time for filipinos in the area, and found one, who has tried hard to be her friend. But that street has to run both ways. I found a place for her to go to hte gym, as she likes to do, but that will be difficult for her until she can drive, since there is no public transportation ehre, and the one cab driver is out of town on vacation. I did get her to study and test for her learners permit so she can get ehr drivers licnese and drive herself to places on her own when she wants when I am at work. I found an asian market 30 minutes away, and a woman there is also from the philippines, and shared her phone number with my wife, but she hasnt called her yet either. And I have been doing all I can to get AOS moving along so she can start working as soon as possible. I think I have done just about all I could do

I try my best to cook foods for her from the Philippines too, and other foods from here I try to introduce her to. I tried hard to have my mom be close to her too, and bought her a flat screen tv of the size she is accustomed to, and introduced her to EVERYONE at the nursing home where I work, employees and residents alike, and took her to the college where I found she could persue a 2nd masters degree in special education, to get the info on how to get started there. Not sure whate else to do, at the moment... but I think I already did a lot

[Loolie 56]

its not your problem anymore i guess because youve done your part, being here in usa is hard because life here is different from the life in pi...its just normal for your wife to miss everything in the pi but for me i wouldnt bother so much my husband of doing everything just to make me happy and not be sad because of missing pi coz i chose to be with my husband here in usa. though my husband is also doing something just to make me happy...i mean if your wife is too sad everyday then she should have not married a foreigner...hehehehehe...little things can make a person happy if he or she chooses to be happy but if that person chooses to be sad then its her problem. theres a lot things to do...clean the house, try gardening, try to go to school or try to have pets etc etc...anyway just relax its just part of adjusting life in usa. God bless you.

[Brian and Dona 0]

My wife misses her job, misses her friends, misses her country.... It takes so long before she can work here, to get work permit. Sigh...

So what was your plan regarding what to do with her, once she is here??? Did you even think to sign up for the TFC/GMA cable channels for her?? Did you provide a computer for her family at home, so they can cam chat each day?? Did you find your local Filipino community/church for her to join with there? Do you encourage her to take up new hobbies and vocations and projects at home??

More background info please....

Hmmmm....

Well, I offered to get the filipino channels, and also found Manila radio stations for her online, but she said it was too painful to listen to programming from back home. She has no family, she is an orphan. But I had a cell phone for her from the beginning so she could stay in touch with her friends, as well a a computer to do so. There is no such thing as a filipino community or church here, although we go to my church. This is a small mountain town in southwestern Virginia. But before she got here I searched a long time for filipinos in the area, and found one, who has tried hard to be her friend. But that street has to run both ways. I found a place for her to go to hte gym, as she likes to do, but that will be difficult for her until she can drive, since there is no public transportation ehre, and the one cab driver is out of town on vacation. I did get her to study and test for her learners permit so she can get ehr drivers licnese and drive herself to places on her own when she wants when I am at work. I found an asian market 30 minutes away, and a woman there is also from the philippines, and shared her phone number with my wife, but she hasnt called her yet either. And I have been doing all I can to get AOS moving along so she can start working as soon as possible. I think I have done just about all I could do

Having a family support system is real benefical for someone that has moved away from their homeland, and especially if they have never left their homeland before. I am glad that my wife has family here in my city and in California. At least she can be around them when I am at work, instead of getting home sick from sitting around the house by themselves. This is a hard transition, I have been to the Phlippines several times and I feel out of place just being there for 2 weeks, not only for the language barrier but for culture differences. Wish you luck in getting her settled in

[luckymom 0]

It is a matter of adjustment and mind setting. Someone who emigrate should know what he/she is facing. Life here is way way different than in the Phil. Living with the man you love is a matter of choice. She's lucky that she has no kids left in the Phil. not like some of us. The only person she thinks of is herself so I think given some time she will be all set. If after some time she is still like that, I don't know what to say. Millions of filipinos felt the same way too and I think for the most part - they adjust very well. Filipinos as far as I know can easily adjust. You are such a good person to be around her.

[pRetTy_aNgeL 1]

It is how she will accept things. Living in America is different from PI. No matter how well thought out your move to US may have been, there may be times when you feel a touch of home sickness. You may miss friends or your family. You may miss the things you do in your own country.

This may be helpful to her to:

1. Let her bring familiar items from home to your new location. Photos help to give one a sense of continuity and ease the shock of a new environment. What I did is I took a picture of our town, as I took them I realized that I will miss the placed where I live.

2. Familiarize her with the new surroundings. Walk around with her. She will feel more in control if she know where grocery stores, school, church, malls, etc. are located. (My hubby asked me what is the first thing I want to do when I came to US. I told him I want to be familiar where I live.)

3. Make friends. It can alleviate the pain of homesickness. (This really helps a lot.)

4. Write her family and friends. Help to stay connected and know what she missed. (I do sometimes don't want to talk most of my friends cause I may feel I want to go home. I miss them. )

5. Lastly, let her do something. Make her busy so she won't think about homesickness.

This is a process of letting go of the past and taking up a new direction in life.

Filipinos are flexible and tough!

[chinese_mutt 11]

My wife misses her job, misses her friends, misses her country.... It takes so long before she can work here, to get work permit. Sigh...

So what was your plan regarding what to do with her, once she is here??? Did you even think to sign up for the TFC/GMA cable channels for her?? Did you provide a computer for her family at home, so they can cam chat each day?? Did you find your local Filipino community/church for her to join with there? Do you encourage her to take up new hobbies and vocations and projects at home??

More background info please....

Hmmmm....

Well, I offered to get the filipino channels, and also found Manila radio stations for her online, but she said it was too painful to listen to programming from back home. She has no family, she is an orphan. But I had a cell phone for her from the beginning so she could stay in touch with her friends, as well a a computer to do so. There is no such thing as a filipino community or church here, although we go to my church. This is a small mountain town in southwestern Virginia. But before she got here I searched a long time for filipinos in the area, and found one, who has tried hard to be her friend. But that street has to run both ways. I found a place for her to go to hte gym, as she likes to do, but that will be difficult for her until she can drive, since there is no public transportation ehre, and the one cab driver is out of town on vacation. I did get her to study and test for her learners permit so she can get ehr drivers licnese and drive herself to places on her own when she wants when I am at work. I found an asian market 30 minutes away, and a woman there is also from the philippines, and shared her phone number with my wife, but she hasnt called her yet either. And I have been doing all I can to get AOS moving along so she can start working as soon as possible. I think I have done just about all I could do

Hey!!! You are from TN!!! WOW!!! Hehe.. my husband is from TN too.. but he drives around the US so he's not home all the time. I know what you mean when you said there's no filipino community there! Hehe.. I asked my husband the same thing... and nope... there's none. He's afraid I won't like it in TN either coz there's not much activity in TN unlike in Manila where you can entertain and keep busy.

I really don't have much suggestions... but I've read a couple of Filipina who redecorated the house to keep busy and to make them feel more at home... like they are part of how the house got built or something. I've read some who went to volunteer, others got a puppy, some cooked Filipino foods, while others were content upon arrival. Just give it sometime... she'll come around. Filipina are resilient, they bounce right back. I see that she arrived there only this May... give her time to adjust. Most people would say 6 months...then she'd feel right at home.

You can PM me her email address and I can correspond with her since I'm not working while waiting for the visa. I have time to spare... plus, I'd like to hear from her about life in TN. We both can help each other, she can prepare me for life in TN while I can just talk and maybe keep her company for now til she finds some hobby or interest to fill her days. I'm still in Manila btw.

Good luck!!

[rheanick 42]

My wife misses her job, misses her friends, misses her country.... It takes so long before she can work here, to get work permit. Sigh...

Ask her what she wants to do? The stuff she likes the most. The main person that could help her is herself. The main support you could give is provide her the means to do her stuff.

Just to give you some examples:

i like gym, my husband enrolled me in one of the fitness center here

I like to go to Spa, I have my own membership for my monthly Spa.

I like studying, I would be enrolling this summer.

There are so many things to do here in the US. My main problem now is to find time to do those stuffs....

[tallcoolone 102]

My wife misses her job, misses her friends, misses her country.... It takes so long before she can work here, to get work permit. Sigh...

From all your post here I gonna say Your Gonna have Issues to face in the future

I remember when she tried to hostage you about her job before she came to USA, and to be truthful I am surprised she actually came to USA.

You need to work out her issues soon, or ship her back to PI and start a new search for a Bride....................

[Rocky_nBullwinkle 6]

My wife misses her job, misses her friends, misses her country.... It takes so long before she can work here, to get work permit. Sigh...

Give her time to adjust in her new life. You are doing everything you can to make her feel home. But it takes time to get settled in a new environment. Once she gets her work permit and finds a job, no more homesickness.

[yan 1]

My wife misses her job, misses her friends, misses her country.... It takes so long before she can work here, to get work permit. Sigh...

Give her time to adjust in her new life. You are doing everything you can to make her feel home. But it takes time to get settled in a new environment. Once she gets her work permit and finds a job, no more homesickness.

hey,me and your wife have same feeling.but i can say its normal.i choose my husband so i had to be happy to stay here.anyway my husband promised me that we will come back to pi soon.andwe had a ticket already.lol

[tallcoolone 102]

My wife misses her job, misses her friends, misses her country.... It takes so long before she can work here, to get work permit. Sigh...

FYI

Its a very quick process to get her Work Permit

60 days after you file AOS.

And usually sent via mail with no interview

Please educate yourself on the visa and AOS process.

[af_phils 0]

... There is no such thing as a filipino community or church here, although we go to my church. This is a small mountain town in southwestern Virginia....

She being from Manila, needs the stimulus of bigger city. Move to Virgina Beach...