The internet and you

[Sprailenes 47]

A great experiment would be to make the same topic in the OT with the same question and see where it goes.

[The_Dude 1,142]

A great experiment would be to make the same topic in the OT with the same question and see where it goes.

Aha!!!

I think we've found the right course of action there Watson!!!

[Travis & Kim 0]

I am pretty much the same - tho I "talk aka write" here less than I do in RL - I can talk your ear off in RL!

[DeadPoolX 9]

I don't think I'm a whole lot different online than off. Even when playing online games, I'm rarely different than I am in real life. Half the time there's no chance to talk in an online game unless voice chat is available. Try typing while engaging in combat.

[scandal 951]

I wonder if this thread will still be open by the time I get back here? It's in the Canada Forum so I'm predicting a much longer lifespan than if it'd been posted in OT. Until the crazy people get here, that is.

Who's to say we're not already here?

[trailmix 77]

Maybe- But if you get so wound up by something said to you on the internet that it starts affecting your life, then I think you have a serious problem you may need to keep in check. We all get hurt by things people say...but if you call me a jerk, trailmix, I'm not going to get hurt over it. We aren't friends. It doesn't affect me personally. Some people on the internet are avoiding their social lives completely, and this tends them to go down the road where they can't socialize properly with others.

This world is a tough one and you have to grow some thick skin. Does that mean people have a right to be hurtful? No. But you can get offended (not you personally) by just about everything that comes out of any ones mouth these days, in retrospect. If you let it get to you, to me, that's your fault and that's up to you!

I disagree with this somewhat - but I see you all as real people with real lives and I actually DO care about you and what you have to say.

I don't have a overly-thick skin - and frankly I don't want it. I've met a lot of mean people in my life, probably many more nice people though. Can people, who you don't care all that much about (like an acquaintance at work for instance), say something to you that could hurt your feelings and affect your life (even if it brings you down for 10 minutes - I view that as affecting you) - yes of course they can.

Is it not, perhaps, a bit arrogant stating "But if you get so wound up by something said to you on the internet that it starts affecting your life, then I think you have a serious problem you may need to keep in check".

Internet chat is powerful, a testament to that is right here on this board, with the numbers of people who have met online and are now living happily married. It is no less (and no more) a means of communication than a hand written letter, a phone call or a personal visit. All of these forms of communication touch people's lives. That you choose not to acknowledge that internet communication is personal - well that is your own personal choice and you are entitled to it, I do not think, however that it exonerates your actions when communicating online nor is it really kind to insult people by suggesting they have a problem - in my opinion.

I wonder if this thread will still be open by the time I get back here? It's in the Canada Forum so I'm predicting a much longer lifespan than if it'd been posted in OT. Until the crazy people get here, that is.

True! I hope it doesn't get found. And actually, I do deserve some credit for this topic right trailmix? It's a good 'un!

If it gets locked you can take full credit!

[thetreble 19]

Maybe- But if you get so wound up by something said to you on the internet that it starts affecting your life, then I think you have a serious problem you may need to keep in check. We all get hurt by things people say...but if you call me a jerk, trailmix, I'm not going to get hurt over it. We aren't friends. It doesn't affect me personally. Some people on the internet are avoiding their social lives completely, and this tends them to go down the road where they can't socialize properly with others.

This world is a tough one and you have to grow some thick skin. Does that mean people have a right to be hurtful? No. But you can get offended (not you personally) by just about everything that comes out of any ones mouth these days, in retrospect. If you let it get to you, to me, that's your fault and that's up to you!

I disagree with this somewhat - but I see you all as real people with real lives and I actually DO care about you and what you have to say.

I don't have a overly-thick skin - and frankly I don't want it. I've met a lot of mean people in my life, probably many more nice people though. Can people, who you don't care all that much about (like an acquaintance at work for instance), say something to you that could hurt your feelings and affect your life (even if it brings you down for 10 minutes - I view that as affecting you) - yes of course they can.

Is it not, perhaps, a bit arrogant stating "But if you get so wound up by something said to you on the internet that it starts affecting your life, then I think you have a serious problem you may need to keep in check".

Internet chat is powerful, a testament to that is right here on this board, with the numbers of people who have met online and are now living happily married. It is no less (and no more) a means of communication than a hand written letter, a phone call or a personal visit. All of these forms of communication touch people's lives. That you choose not to acknowledge that internet communication is personal - well that is your own personal choice and you are entitled to it, I do not think, however that it exonerates your actions when communicating online nor is it really kind to insult people by suggesting they have a problem - in my opinion.

Again, not all things in life or people in life have to be "kind" all the time. I also think that "kind" means different things to different people. To some, "kind" to might mean stating an opinion in a way that doesn't hurt any one or any group's feelings. Maybe kind to me, means as long as I don't call you a name or put you down, I can state my opinion openly and freely as I want to. I don't write things or say things a certain way in order to make everything PC. So many people are FAKE in that way. They think one thing in their head, but they say or write it in a completely different way in order to make sure every one likes them. I just don't do that.

And, I probably am a bit arrogant. People have told me that before and I have often told myself that. I'm not denying it but it's part of who I am. I don't know where I got it from, but I was a really bright kid and maybe it got to my head somewhere along the line insofar as it worked it way into my speech.

While it's nice that you care about me, I'm sorry it can't be 100% reciprocated. Like, I had fun on here with Nevada, but then I met up with her and we had some real conversation. I felt like we connected and we could become friends. I care about her because I know a lot about her now and her life. I can't say the same for every one on here and therefore, don't feel the same way. Sure I met my husband online, but we didn't fully connect in most ways until we met in person and we met VERY soon after we met online so...I found him very interesting in comparison to many people I met online. I ended up caring about him after we formed an offline relationship.

Growing a thick skin also doesn't mean that you have to become mean. Again, life is hard. I know a bunch of people that aren't clinically depressed but everything gets them down. I'm always telling them you gotta pick yourself up! Think positive! Don't let people get to you. I can see if something someone says gets you angry, but if it makes you feel bad about yourself then again, I chalk that up to self esteem! We have managed to raise so many kids without self esteem. That is one thing I can say that my parents really instilled in me. I don't care what any one thinks about me.

I don't refuse to acknowledge that internet chat is personal, it's NOT in my opinion. To me, it's mostly shooting the breeze while at work and bored. I don't use the internet while I'm home for any reason except to download music or coronation street.

Edited May 21, 2009 by thetreble

[trailmix 77]

I don't refuse to acknowledge that internet chat is personal, it's NOT in my opinion. To me, it's mostly shooting the breeze while at work and bored. I don't use the internet while I'm home for any reason except to download music or coronation street.

Yeah, and that is ok in my opinion - I mean that you think that way - I didn't necessarily mean that in a put down way - not that you would have cared anyway

I guess I was just saying what you just said as well, you made a connection with Nevada, the fact that it means more to you after meeting her in person is good - for you. I think you and I don't connect and if I met you face to face over coffee I could still call you a jerk - and you still would not miss a beat (that's ok too because - well we don't connect so I completely understand where you are coming from there).

Edited May 21, 2009 by trailmix

[Welshcookie 17]

That is what I find hilarious about games. That by killing someone they get so mad at you that you can tell they are emotionally disturbed by something so meaningless. Thats when I feel the need to kill them a few (dozen) more times

I agree. Last week I undercut the guy who had a monopoly on selling Netherweave Bags by a gold, (just for a while so I could raise some gold for my cold weather flying you understand ). I got 5 letters in my mail box from this guy calling me all kinds of names and telling me I was scum of earth with no thought for other people...now I don't know how he got all this from me by a name of a character and by me selling a virtual bag cheaper than him on a virtual AH in a virtual world. I was quite taken a back at his venom, I did reply and tell him he needs to step away from his computer and take a walk outside and calm down

[The_Dude 1,142]

That is what I find hilarious about games. That by killing someone they get so mad at you that you can tell they are emotionally disturbed by something so meaningless. Thats when I feel the need to kill them a few (dozen) more times

I agree. Last week I undercut the guy who had a monopoly on selling Netherweave Bags by a gold, (just for a while so I could raise some gold for my cold weather flying you understand ). I got 5 letters in my mail box from this guy calling me all kinds of names and telling me I was scum of earth with no thought for other people...now I don't know how he got all this from me by a name of a character and by me selling a virtual bag cheaper than him on a virtual AH in a virtual world. I was quite taken a back at his venom, I did reply and tell him he needs to step away from his computer and take a walk outside and calm down

Thats funny. You should have reported him..... would have been the icing on that cake

[TimandJoyce 1]

That's what emoticons are for

I do see your point that you can't see someones facial expression, or hear the inflection or tone of their voice, so it can be hard to sense what someone is actually saying.

True...not everyone uses them...*and sometimes I forget*...

*it's the blonde in me... :blush: *

I am pretty much the same - tho I "talk aka write" here less than I do in RL - I can talk your ear off in RL!

me too!! me too!!

[BermyCat 1]

Like Jill, I think carefully about what I say in person and on the internet. Generally, I don't bother to respond to a thread if I have absolutely nothing useful to add so you'll rarely see me just trying to get a rise out of someone. On the other hand, if I do say something harsh or offensive, I've thought about it and I mean it. That's why I always sign my first name to everything I post. It's silly since it's only a first name, but signing my posts is symbolic of taking responsibility for what I've said (including my terrible spelling ).

As for onine friends, there are a few people that I've never met in person that I'd still consider friends. They tend to be people I've corresponded with for a long time and people I've hung out in vent with a lot.

~ Catherine

[Caladan 19]

So based on the discussion in the vent thread today, I thought this might be an interesting discussion.

Why are some people more brutal online than they are offline - or are they? Is it easier to be nice online than offline. Why do people refer to meeting someone in 'real life' - are the people online not real to you?

Just brings up lots of interesting questions I think.

There are more social controls and conventions in person, as well as the ability to read body language. This is one of the things that contributes (not speaking of VJ, but of online communication generally) to over-the-top statements online. I think most people try to present themselves online as they expect they come across in real life, but I also suspect most aren't successful (for one thing, every day conversation isn't usually written communication.)

[The_Dude 1,142]

I think there is a very good test thread as to what type of internet personality you are in the moving to america sub-forum. The guy is obviously a troll and trying to bash western women. Do you A) Post your advice just in case you are wrong B ) Ignore the thread altogether C) Call the troll out.

Edited May 21, 2009 by Rob and Mel

[trailmix 77]

I think there is a very good test thread as to what type of internet personality you are in the moving to america sub-forum. The guy is obviously a troll and trying to bash western women. Do you A) Post your advice just in case you are wrong B ) Ignore the thread altogether C) Call the troll out.

I would personally ignore it - if I don't think someone is being sincere - it's not worth my effort to type a response.