help please it is a Nightmare

[It's me 1]

Hello there to Leedah & IamGodsProperty,

Sorry I had to reply to you both in one post but I wanted to be sure to acknowledge your post because you are sharing your experience and it sounds like a really bad one from the sounds of it. I'm sorry you experienced so much hardship! If someone came home to beat me for days I probably would be very wounded and perhaps want to use my experience to help others. I do wonder how your guy is staying in the US with a felony, if he is not a citizen, I am surprised he was not deported.

As Sylvia has said there are denials given for a multitiude of reasons even down to the most minute problem such as something incorrect on the approved petition. Our case has very specific differences than your own, each and every one is different, but we should all be cautious in all things - I agree. I know where I stand in my own circumstances.. Thank you though.... Words of caution for those who's wound also is painfully close, your helpfulness though well meant may need to be delivered at a time sensitive time. Projecting feelings from your own situation could help or unfortunately do harm too...though not meant to.

All the Best...

My comment was made in love my sister, I too am married to a Nigerian who is not yet here yet. Comments that arent always"happy", or "positive", arent to hurt you, but to help. You're in my prayers. Peace

[Sylvia_n_Joseph 3]

Thanks for the support. It is hard being the one left behind. There was once an excitement of being with all those "like" me and seeing how we all progressed. That was the November 2007 K1 club, now the November 2008 K1 club has come and gone and I will probably see the 2009 group pass by also . It is like you are ripped from the steps of your destination and dropped down a bottomless pit and you never stop falling. And there are times when you reach out here and you feel like you have been shredded by glass. All these people that are so self righteous in the purity of their relationship , passing out the phony little Christian greetings and then casting vile as they pass. Their judgment will be in a bigger line. Many of those that sit there looking down their noses at me will suffer after conditions are removed or citizenship comes. Some schemers are very patient. There have been others that didn't happen to follow the happy path to being with their SOs and they have managed to drive them away. People don't like dealing with things that aren't perfect. They don't like me saying Lagos is corrupt , but had there been anything truly wrong in my petition or in Joseph background after the interview I would have found out when I filed the incident report and the department of defense did their investigation. Unfortunately my employment is not directly government related so I can't get the DOD directly involved. So I wait. It has given me time to prepare some of the things that will help me spend part of the time in Nigeria. Yes there are still wounds after all this time and little things bother me. Things that used to be exciting like Zee's carefully maintained list now are just painful as I sit there as the sole "petition returned" entry. My own private scarlet letter. But this is all just a delay and we will be together. And other things come into my life to look forward to . I have next summers week long celebration of Joseph taking his father position. Things like that Lagos is powerless to take away from me.

[Y's_habibitk 2]

But that is not their job. USCIS has a job of determining if enough evidence has been presented to support the visa. The embassy is NOT supposed to have any role in adjucating the petition. They are expressly prohibited from do it and from denying or revoking a petition without concrete evidence of fraud/ misrepresentation ( hence the basis for lawsuits againt the DOS ) The are clerks meant to process paper. But they get their heads all swollen with their titles and get hungry for a little extra flash ( cash) so if you willing to stoop to their levels you can get a quick pass. Our visa was hung up for not disclosing details of classified work. They wanted my hours and details on "what I work on in the office" Not just the name of the company or the number of years I worked or the location of my home office. He had proof of daily contact for over a year. The phone bill records alone where inches thick, there were hundreds of pictures. Are you saying that to get Joseph here should hinge on releasing sensitive data to an uncleared clerk ? I think that totally violates any concept of protecting the country And yes the clerk was reported to the department of defense.

You are totally correct in saying that the consuls are prohibitted from re adjudicating the applications. However, they do have the power to send a petiton/application back to the states as you know. They can basically use their judgment as they see fit to suggest a petition be denied.

It sucks that your husband wasnt prepared to answer the question about what you do for a living, but that with maybe any other number of things during that interview that you dont know about was enough to put doubt of bonofides/intentions in the CO's head. The burden of proof is on us, not them.

It does suck that our future is basically put in the hands of one individual's perception skills... that is why it is so important to cover all bases when preparing for the interview. Even still it is a ####### shoot. All you can do is be prepared for anything and pray(or hope if youre not into prayer)

They rarely disclose the exact reason for sending a petition back to USCIS for review or intent to deny. People usually have to speculate(like you are with the job situation) or you get some canned answer about bonofides or misrepresentation bla bla bla

Is it fair? yes and no... there need to be processes in play to guard us(the US) from immigrants with intent to use the system, and citizens to get here. No, because a CO may have a negative outlook on every applicant that walks through the door.

afrilaskan queen,

I wish you the best and you know i am following your case and youre in my thoughts and prayers

[Sylvia_n_Joseph 3]

Looking at the pattern of denial to white woman petitioning for black spouses show me the embassy has got some rather outdated ideas about race . As I stated in the last post .. I filed an incident report after the interview and I still have my clearance. Enough said about the validity of my relationship and any remarks that the person in Lagos made in the file. Joseph will never know details about my work. My children don't, my sisters don't ... it is just that kind of job.

[It's me 1]

But that is not their job. USCIS has a job of determining if enough evidence has been presented to support the visa. The embassy is NOT supposed to have any role in adjucating the petition. They are expressly prohibited from do it and from denying or revoking a petition without concrete evidence of fraud/ misrepresentation ( hence the basis for lawsuits againt the DOS ) The are clerks meant to process paper. But they get their heads all swollen with their titles and get hungry for a little extra flash ( cash) so if you willing to stoop to their levels you can get a quick pass. Our visa was hung up for not disclosing details of classified work. They wanted my hours and details on "what I work on in the office" Not just the name of the company or the number of years I worked or the location of my home office. He had proof of daily contact for over a year. The phone bill records alone where inches thick, there were hundreds of pictures. Are you saying that to get Joseph here should hinge on releasing sensitive data to an uncleared clerk ? I think that totally violates any concept of protecting the country And yes the clerk was reported to the department of defense.

You are totally correct in saying that the consuls are prohibitted from re adjudicating the applications. However, they do have the power to send a petiton/application back to the states as you know. They can basically use their judgment as they see fit to suggest a petition be denied.

It sucks that your husband wasnt prepared to answer the question about what you do for a living, but that with maybe any other number of things during that interview that you dont know about was enough to put doubt of bonofides/intentions in the CO's head. The burden of proof is on us, not them.

It does suck that our future is basically put in the hands of one individual's perception skills... that is why it is so important to cover all bases when preparing for the interview. Even still it is a ####### shoot. All you can do is be prepared for anything and pray(or hope if youre not into prayer)

They rarely disclose the exact reason for sending a petition back to USCIS for review or intent to deny. People usually have to speculate(like you are with the job situation) or you get some canned answer about bonofides or misrepresentation bla bla bla

Is it fair? yes and no... there need to be processes in play to guard us(the US) from immigrants with intent to use the system, and citizens to get here. No, because a CO may have a negative outlook on every applicant that walks through the door.

afrilaskan queen,

I wish you the best and you know i am following your case and youre in my thoughts and prayers

As a United States Army Veteran who served and was wounded serving this (MY) country, proudly, I agree with your post. i think that it's terrible that there are so many angry people that make posts to indirectly offend others.

[Afrilaskan Queen 0]

My comment was made in love my sister, I too am married to a Nigerian who is not yet here yet. Comments that arent always"happy", or "positive", arent to hurt you, but to help. You're in my prayers. Peace

Thanks IamGodsProperty, I read your post(s), it is ok, thank you for mentioning it, intention is important and I thought you were well meant. I had feelings going back some 5 years ago when some of my so-called friends thought my friend and now current husband could be of those bad Nigerians, until they saw everything in the open... it was painful but as many say what comes around goes around and also all things come to light, my husband was vindicated and so was I among those people and I was fortunate it exposed their true nature. Peace is valuable. Take Care.

[It's me 1]

Looking at the pattern of denial to white woman petitioning for black spouses show me the embassy has got some rather outdated ideas about race . As I stated in the last post .. I filed an incident report after the interview and I still have my clearance. Enough said about the validity of my relationship and any remarks that the person in Lagos made in the file. Joseph will never know details about my work. My children don't, my sisters don't ... it is just that kind of job.

Sylvia, dont go there.... i have Lots of white girlfriends who have petitioned for their husbands, and they got here wayyyyy before mine, as I'm still waiting. Everything isnt always race related (strong words comeing from a black woman, and yes, I'm 100% Christian)

[It's me 1]

Thanks IamGodsProperty, I read your post(s), it is ok, thank you for mentioning it, intention is important and I thought you were well meant. I had feelings going back some 5 years ago when some of my so-called friends thought my friend and now current husband could be of those bad Nigerians, until they saw everything in the open... it was painful but as many say what comes around goes around and also all things come to light, my husband was vindicated and so was I among those people and I was fortunate it exposed their true nature. Peace is valuable. Take Care.

Baby Girl, stay encouraged! God's got your back. I'll be doing the happy dance with you when your hubby comes home!

[Perseverance 1]

OK I guess I missed something, I dont see any vicious moral grandstanding in this thread. Nor any of the other things you are talking about. I see people sharing experiences and giving thier opionions. I dont see anyone being nasty, nor do I see anyone ganging up on Sylvia. I realise that you are upset about your situation, but maybe you are reading too much into what people are posting. I have been aroung VJ for a while and I have seen some real wars on here. Seriously I dont see it in this thread.

Hello fellow VJers,

I am posting this after being highly disappointed and horrified at the vicious moral grandstanding, at times toward me and other innocent people struggling through the immigration process. I started this thread just hours after hearing that our REVIEW of our case was set to last 24 months from now, meaning NO one would touch it or read it for approx. for that long, no news for 2 years! You do not know the hardship that this personally has put me and my family through, overseas and locally. You do not know the individual circumstances. It is wrong to "help" a discouraged person by everyone putting themselves on a pedestal of how they did something better than the other. How is that encouraging? What is your purpose here, anyway?

I did not come here to be looked lowly upon by others who may have suffered who now feel they are strong and puff themselves up with their experience. That is not kind OR helpful! Your experience is supposed to strengthen others not be used to hurt, degrade, criticize or blame! You should be ashamed!

As good as your experience is, it does not replace actual legal knowledge. While you were busy feeling superior, you may have not realized you missed some very important facts - yes, FACTS, not feelings. Here are just a few.

1A) In 2007, service centers in the US changed dramatically, both politically and structurally. The change is still going on, in a bungling way, at the same time as their caseload has, literally, doubled. This has resulted in huge inefficiency and injustice in innumerable cases. The long wait for your papers to even be looked at is the issue here, specifically. If you were told you were approved for a visa but had to wait 2 years or more to hear when you could interview, how would you feel? Where is your compassion?

We have actively done everything we could - you don't have to tell everyone how proud you are, and what you have done to make yourselves feel great, while looking down your nose at everyone else. It's harsh, selfish and it says a lot about your capacity, or lack therof, for integrity and compassion.

I am new to the site. I was discouraged about a long wait, as so many here are. Do you even care? Do you care about those reading on the site looking for encouragement? Have you thought that perhaps you're kicking them while they're down?

1B) We were NOT denied a visa;an embassy does not deny visas. FYI: ANY error made on documents initiates a visa being sent back for review. Did you realize that thousands of visas are sent in review for mistakes on birthdates and other minor errors?

2) Did you know that the officials you dealt with personally are not necessarily, or even usually, the same people others are dealing with?

3) Lagos is NOT the only embassy that has trouble! These are imperfect PEOPLE! Mistakes happen, there are bad people everywhere, inside and outside of the consulate - just like in the US where there are bad doctors and lawyers and everything else. If you cannot recognize that mistakes happen, you are both deluded, and you are robbing a victim of their right to stand up for justice which means you are defying what the US is supposedly about: FREEDOM and JUSTICE!

No matter how earnest, every system in this world is corrupt, injust or wrong in some way or another - that's not difficult see. Good people are often disillusioned after getting involved with well-meaning organizations because, no matter how hard you work or try, this world is unfortunately saturated with dishonesty and injustice.

4) Our case was not denied at the gate. But my husband was unable to get inside without his papers that were withheld for the entirety of the 2 months we spent trying to get them. Our Senator's office and our lawyer were annoyed, because they had to FORCE the embassy there locally to do their job. I have no idea why there was an issue - for all I know someone was just feeling moody that day, or they were affected by any number of conditions. It is far more complicated than you obviously realized otherwise you would not make ignorant blanket statements.

If you blissfully went through to the end I'm glad for you, but don't rob others of their right to share their grief! Don't BLAME them for their grief! It's like telling a molested child that they brought it on themselves, and have no right to complain! It's wrong, and you know it, and you should be ashamed that you spend your time looking for a reason to cause struggling people even more pain then they already have.

You can express your experience and your opinions without putting others down!!

I appreciate your opinions, you have the right to them, however, witnessing the way in which they were used to attack others (I was specifically angered by the recent ganging up on Sylvia&Joseph) on this site is incredibly disappointing. I don't know what I was expecting. Clearly, if you complain or vent about injustices and frustrations you are personally experiencing, you should be ready to be crucified!

Thank you to those who posted their experience positive or negative that was encouraging like MAO36, I appreciated your balanced words.

[Sylvia_n_Joseph 3]

When you are on the bottom side of a bad interview you are on edge. Your prospective changes and you examine everything with different eyes. Yes I have seen some horrid thread locking quarrels here. But people have no clue how personal a simply comment about the embassy having its ways of knowing can be. What does the clerk at the embassy know of my relationship with Joseph. Obviously nothing . The pounds of paper didn't help. The fact that the same government that person reports to has done regular and through investigations of my integrity and honesty didn't help. Are there things other than the reported issue with Joseph not being able to answer questions about my work. Probably Joseph wrote down what was asked and he knew the rest of the questions. He said the woman had an attitude about him marrying a white woman. She was black. I have seen this same attitude in the states. I have actually been confronted by black woman about taking their men . However it is true that there is a disproportionate number of white women denied out of Lagos. Why would a consulate assume whites are inherently more dishonest in their petitions ? Immigration needs reform . Not in letting the illegals stay but in the way they prove relationships. Interigations like the ones the embassy executes are relics from the gestapo. There are more reliable methods.

[It's me 1]

When you are on the bottom side of a bad interview you are on edge. Your prospective changes and you examine everything with different eyes. Yes I have seen some horrid thread locking quarrels here. But people have no clue how personal a simply comment about the embassy having its ways of knowing can be. What does the clerk at the embassy know of my relationship with Joseph. Obviously nothing . The pounds of paper didn't help. The fact that the same government that person reports to has done regular and through investigations of my integrity and honesty didn't help. Are there things other than the reported issue with Joseph not being able to answer questions about my work. Probably Joseph wrote down what was asked and he knew the rest of the questions. He said the woman had an attitude about him marrying a white woman. She was black. I have seen this same attitude in the states. I have actually been confronted by black woman about taking their men . However it is true that there is a disproportionate number of white women denied out of Lagos. Why would a consulate assume whites are inherently more dishonest in their petitions ? Immigration needs reform . Not in letting the illegals stay but in the way they prove relationships. Interigations like the ones the embassy executes are relics from the gestapo. There are more reliable methods.

i can respectively understand this Sylvia, but try being on the bottom side of society all of your life because you're black? My dear, i doubt seriously if you were denied because of your race, simple, you being white had nothing to do with your denial. You're not the first white woman whose married (or want to marry ) a black Nigerian, and you wont be the last. There are plenty of interracial couples in and out of Africa, not just Nigeria. You're how old, and woman are approaching you about taking "their men"? Anyway...not the race card Sylvia, Abeg

Edited May 20, 2009 by IamGodsProperty

[Sylvia_n_Joseph 3]

It is rare in California to see a capable person stopped because of race or gender. They may have hurdles and work harder to prove they are equal. I have been there , done that as a female in a male dominated field. I was "that woman" in college. I have watched the company org chart go from the token color pieces to the mismatch of faces that earned their way up. In fact I am in a bit of trouble at work because at our diversity awareness all hands I asked why all their images displayed only the young and good looking and overlooked the fat old and ugly. I know not everywhere is as forward minded as California. My hometown of less than 400 somehow convinced a family of a different religion that it wasn't the spot to set out roots. My own aunt has used the N word in reference to my family and Joseph and I aren't together yet. My children are all white. When I was confronted about "taking their men " I was in my mid 40's my date was a few years younger and the woman probably about 35.

Here is a reference to findings of faud in refernce to Nigeria

"Interracial marriages and foreign spouses from the country of Nigeria: Believe it or not, this is the #1 red flag for marriage fraud relied upon by USCIS officers.Other countries with a high incidence of immigration fraud are theDominican Republic and Pakistan "

[idocare 3]

Dang, I forgot the topic !! Guess i read too much tonite. What I do know is that many many third world countries crave to be here in America, and will say or do what ever necessary to fulfill their dream. Once fulfilling it they can become cocky and challenging in a attempt to make their sponsor feel as tho they truly want them out of their lives!!!

I'm a victim of marriage fraud. My Nigerian sweetheart, lover and father of my youngest son Victor Obinna Ezike used me for a greencard. He had no intention to stay with me. He also abandoned his son; and remains here in America so far.

All of his claims are unfounded; and that's what pisses me off the most. I fought hard for him to come into America only for him too turn against me and accuse me of awful things; things that I have no ideal ( thanks to the privacy act ) and he also have no proof beside his lying tongue. Invester be ware!!! My sons father has demostrated to me to be the epitomy of wickedness. Oh, did I mention that he was a medical doctor in his homeland Nigeria?

The internet makes it easier for these types to gain entrance into America, the unknowing American spouse will think that they have done themseives a favor by asking these men/women to leave their home ( after these men/women drive them crazy and make them think that it was their ( the sponsors ) decision to end the relationship.

I feel that when people get put into AP it's for a reason. Third world countries folks don't think like Americans and many times are more willing to hide ( or lie about ) information ( such as already being married etc.) to get what they wan

Americans won't be told the exact reason for the conclusion, thus I feel the disconnect in the system. Pending greencard seekin peoples information shouldn't be withheld from the sponsor. What do yah'll think ?

[Enlighten one :) 5]

All situations work for the good in God's way. Is my Christian statement.

Afrilaskan, your case is one of those that is so frustrating. No one can relate and it doesn't make sense. My heart goes out to you.

Sorry that your thread has gone of course, but I get frustrated when people try bashing the embassy. Is like bashing a race. These are hard working people like me. They have an extremely difficult job and decisions to make. They are making a decision on someones life. Must be hard to sleep at times wondering if you made a wrong choice. They have to weed out the shady.

There are always going to be people who take advantage of roles, positions, and situations, but that does not make them all bad.

Sylvia you look at everything so negatively. That you are creating the own negativity in your world. I see your difficult situation, but try looking for the bright side of things. figure out what all this means. If it means you are to fight then that is what God wants from you. But please look at the bright side and the bright side will come. You can't see God's gifts from a negative perspective.

[Y's_habibitk 2]

It is rare in California to see a capable person stopped because of race or gender. They may have hurdles and work harder to prove they are equal. I have been there , done that as a female in a male dominated field. I was "that woman" in college. I have watched the company org chart go from the token color pieces to the mismatch of faces that earned their way up. In fact I am in a bit of trouble at work because at our diversity awareness all hands I asked why all their images displayed only the young and good looking and overlooked the fat old and ugly. I know not everywhere is as forward minded as California. My hometown of less than 400 somehow convinced a family of a different religion that it wasn't the spot to set out roots. My own aunt has used the N word in reference to my family and Joseph and I aren't together yet. My children are all white. When I was confronted about "taking their men " I was in my mid 40's my date was a few years younger and the woman probably about 35.

Here is a reference to findings of faud in refernce to Nigeria

"Interracial marriages and foreign spouses from the country of Nigeria: Believe it or not, this is the #1 red flag for marriage fraud relied upon by USCIS officers.Other countries with a high incidence of immigration fraud are theDominican Republic and Pakistan "

Source please?

Sadly, rascism exists everywhere, but as Iamgodsproperty said...there are PLENTY of interracial couples that are approved all the time. So, I dont think the race card is in order.

Now, if you are substantially older than your spouse(and you are the wife), THAT is a red flag at any consulate. But most jump that hurdle with being well prepared to answer questions with confidence at interview time.

I know your guys' consulate is rough and there are alot of denials out of it. but there are also alot of approvals. Preparation is key.

Ok, sorry to keep the thread off topic again. heh

All situations work for the good in God's way. Is my Christian statement.

Afrilaskan, your case is one of those that is so frustrating. No one can relate and it doesn't make sense. My heart goes out to you.

Sorry that your thread has gone of course, but I get frustrated when people try bashing the embassy. Is like bashing a race. These are hard working people like me. They have an extremely difficult job and decisions to make. They are making a decision on someones life. Must be hard to sleep at times wondering if you made a wrong choice. They have to weed out the shady.

There are always going to be people who take advantage of roles, positions, and situations, but that does not make them all bad.

Sylvia you look at everything so negatively. That you are creating the own negativity in your world. I see your difficult situation, but try looking for the bright side of things. figure out what all this means. If it means you are to fight then that is what God wants from you. But please look at the bright side and the bright side will come. You can't see God's gifts from a negative perspective.

well said.