Visiting America

[UbiquitousPixie 0]

I am just wondering if anyone has been successful at visiting their spouse in the USA while the K3 was in process? My husband is in the UK. I can't go there due to my job at the moment. Is there ANY way he could come here for a week or two?

If not, my next question will be how to go about finding a good divorce lawyer who knows how to handle an international divorce because the stress of what's been going on these last few months is just too much (there is a long, boring backstory to this that I don't feel like typing out again...there has just been a lot of extra stress due to some bad decisions my husband made).

Ally

[JenT 0]

Ok... just so I understand.... if he can't come, you're going to divorce him?

I read some of your previous posts and have a general sense of what you're facing... but since he left the US without advaance parole, I expect he'd be denied entry.

Jen

[UbiquitousPixie 0]

Ok... just so I understand.... if he can't come, you're going to divorce him?

I read some of your previous posts and have a general sense of what you're facing... but since he left the US without advaance parole, I expect he'd be denied entry.

Jen

Unfortunately yes. He made his bed, now he can lay in it. I've offered to come there for a week or two but he has no where for me to stay and no money for us to go anywhere (he's living on his sisters couch). I have spent thousands of dollars on him and I refuse to spend anymore, especially since he's the one who left without parole. I am sick of living my life in limbo. I was hoping he could come for a visit so we could work things out face to face...which may or may not mean divorce but if that isn't possible I don't feel I can wait around for an undetermined amount of time and keep shelling out money for visa fees.

Ally

[Movin on New Life 3]

Ok... just so I understand.... if he can't come, you're going to divorce him?

I read some of your previous posts and have a general sense of what you're facing... but since he left the US without advaance parole, I expect he'd be denied entry.

Jen

Unfortunately yes. He made his bed, now he can lay in it. I've offered to come there for a week or two but he has no where for me to stay and no money for us to go anywhere (he's living on his sisters couch). I have spent thousands of dollars on him and I refuse to spend anymore, especially since he's the one who left without parole. I am sick of living my life in limbo. I was hoping he could come for a visit so we could work things out face to face...which may or may not mean divorce but if that isn't possible I don't feel I can wait around for an undetermined amount of time and keep shelling out money for visa fees.

Ally

Ok I agree I may not know all the details... but what strikes me is.... according to your timeline you filed your I130 in Feb 06 and I129 March 06.... It has not been even six months???? less than 6 months in "limbo" is unacceptable?? Gooodness I truely hope there is more to the story and longer time involved if not it saddens me to know someone chooses divorce after less than six months.. I hope this is not the case... as it is much more difficult to undue the hurt of possible divorce preceedings should you change your mind.. I wish you the best with your decisions and hope you are able to really take the time to think before you make permenant decisions.

[UbiquitousPixie 0]

We started a K1 Dec. 2004. It's been way more then 6 months being in limbo.

Ok I agree I may not know all the details... but what strikes me is.... according to your timeline you filed your I130 in Feb 06 and I129 March 06.... It has not been even six months???? less than 6 months in "limbo" is unacceptable?? Gooodness I truely hope there is more to the story and longer time involved if not it saddens me to know someone chooses divorce after less than six months.. I hope this is not the case... as it is much more difficult to undue the hurt of possible divorce preceedings should you change your mind.. I wish you the best with your decisions and hope you are able to really take the time to think before you make permenant decisions.

[zyggy 9]

Ok... just so I understand.... if he can't come, you're going to divorce him?

I read some of your previous posts and have a general sense of what you're facing... but since he left the US without advaance parole, I expect he'd be denied entry.

Jen

Unfortunately yes. He made his bed, now he can lay in it. I've offered to come there for a week or two but he has no where for me to stay and no money for us to go anywhere (he's living on his sisters couch). I have spent thousands of dollars on him and I refuse to spend anymore, especially since he's the one who left without parole. I am sick of living my life in limbo. I was hoping he could come for a visit so we could work things out face to face...which may or may not mean divorce but if that isn't possible I don't feel I can wait around for an undetermined amount of time and keep shelling out money for visa fees.

Ally

Ok I agree I may not know all the details... but what strikes me is.... according to your timeline you filed your I130 in Feb 06 and I129 March 06.... It has not been even six months???? less than 6 months in "limbo" is unacceptable?? Gooodness I truely hope there is more to the story and longer time involved if not it saddens me to know someone chooses divorce after less than six months.. I hope this is not the case... as it is much more difficult to undue the hurt of possible divorce preceedings should you change your mind.. I wish you the best with your decisions and hope you are able to really take the time to think before you make permenant decisions.

1) He is ineligible for WVP due to his previous K1.

2) He currently has very little ties to the UK that would be helpful in getting a visa...

3) He would have to go to London to get the visa...

Just things to think about...

[Isabel 0]

ok .....a divorce because he cant come.....oehm...right. And he didnt know a place for you to stay..... ....right. Well what to say. To answer your question. I just spoke to a CBP officer in Baltimore and he told me not to travel to the US under any circumstances, cos that would cause alot of problems. I can understand that you are tired of putting money into the visa process. My husband does almost the same, cos due to a disease I can just work part time. I always feel guilty about it . But nothing i can do about it. Well why the heck would your hubby leave the US without advance parole?????? That would have saved alot of money. Doesnt he think before he makes a decision?.....

I.

[Movin on New Life 3]

We started a K1 Dec. 2004. It's been way more then 6 months being in limbo.

Ok I agree I may not know all the details... but what strikes me is.... according to your timeline you filed your I130 in Feb 06 and I129 March 06.... It has not been even six months???? less than 6 months in "limbo" is unacceptable?? Gooodness I truely hope there is more to the story and longer time involved if not it saddens me to know someone chooses divorce after less than six months.. I hope this is not the case... as it is much more difficult to undue the hurt of possible divorce preceedings should you change your mind.. I wish you the best with your decisions and hope you are able to really take the time to think before you make permenant decisions.

Ok 1.5 years..point taken... Good luck

[Movin on New Life 3]

by the way... just curious.... how does you husband feel about this

[UbiquitousPixie 0]

by the way... just curious.... how does you husband feel about this

He doesn't want a divorce. I'm not even sure how to start the process (especially since he doesn't want it) if I do decided to go that route.

Ally

[Movin on New Life 3]

by the way... just curious.... how does you husband feel about this

He doesn't want a divorce. I'm not even sure how to start the process (especially since he doesn't want it) if I do decided to go that route.

Ally

Ally... I do not have any factual reasons for what I am about to say except for "my gut feelings" when I read your postings... I may be wrong but it seems the fustrations of the immigration process has gotten the better of you... You say your husband does not want a divorce..and honestly I do not think you do either...

As difficult as it may be... I urge you to step back, take a breath, and think twice.. It may seem as though you have no immediate solution...but we are here for you and I am sure your husband as well. Sometimes fustration and anger can make us say or do things to "test" the other person...when all we really need is to be reassured they too are fustrated but are willing to fight the fight to be together..

Sounds like you and your husband just need some person to person time to once again see the flame which brought you to man and wife... Do not give up... Many many people here have waited a long long time and endured many many complications... but trust me once completed and they are together....it all goes away... Be strong hve faith and above all..keep the communications open..

Wishing you the best my fellow VJ friend

[UbiquitousPixie 0]

by the way... just curious.... how does you husband feel about this

He doesn't want a divorce. I'm not even sure how to start the process (especially since he doesn't want it) if I do decided to go that route.

Ally

Ally... I do not have any factual reasons for what I am about to say except for "my gut feelings" when I read your postings... I may be wrong but it seems the fustrations of the immigration process has gotten the better of you... You say your husband does not want a divorce..and honestly I do not think you do either...

As difficult as it may be... I urge you to step back, take a breath, and think twice.. It may seem as though you have no immediate solution...but we are here for you and I am sure your husband as well. Sometimes fustration and anger can make us say or do things to "test" the other person...when all we really need is to be reassured they too are fustrated but are willing to fight the fight to be together..

Sounds like you and your husband just need some person to person time to once again see the flame which brought you to man and wife... Do not give up... Many many people here have waited a long long time and endured many many complications... but trust me once completed and they are together....it all goes away... Be strong hve faith and above all..keep the communications open..

Wishing you the best my fellow VJ friend

I know what you are saying and you are right, a divorce is not really what I want but I don't really see it working out. He abandon the K1 process because we were arguing a lot after we got married in Nov. Well we were arguing a lot because he never submitted all the paperwork needed for him to be able to work. This escalated to the point where instead of just submitting the damn paperwork he borrowed money from his brother and left in the middle of the night back to England without parole. He had been threatening me for 3 weeks that he was leaving. I feel used and disrespected. I feel he is selfish and only thinks about himself. First in leaving not thinking how that would make me feel and now wanting to come back...all the while I have to pay for most everything. And what do I do if he comes back and then still won't get a job? I don't want to support someone for the rest of my life, it's not fair. He is 34 years old and healthy, no reason he can't get at least a part time job.

I am very angry and hurt by what he did and I am sick of not being about to go on with my life. I want to have kids and get on with my career plans, maybe move...I can't do any of that with my life in limbo. I've been thinking about moving to FL and stay with my family for a little bit while I get a business off the ground but if I do that before he gets here he has no where to stay because they don't know him and as you can imagine are pretty pissed off at him plus there really isn't room for both of us...so there is one more thing that I am unable to make a decision on. All because he is selfish and lazy.

Ally

[TracyTN 237]

I remember reading your story, Ally, and I know that this has to be very difficult for you. You've got to do what you feel is right for you and your life, and what will ultimately make you happy. I'm glad to see you standing up for yourself.

Take care.

[UbiquitousPixie 0]

Thanks Tracy.

So, back to the original question it seems like it would be impossible for him to come here...the only way to see him is for me to go there which means spending a buttload of money because he has no where for me to stay so I'd have to rent a hotel and he has no car for me so I'd have to rent one (no trains where he live) and I'd have to take unpaid leave from work so there is some more money I'd lose.

Ally

I remember reading your story, Ally, and I know that this has to be very difficult for you. You've got to do what you feel is right for you and your life, and what will ultimately make you happy. I'm glad to see you standing up for yourself.

Take care.

[Jersey Girl 2]

Ally, I don't know your entire story, and it's none of my business, but this may be for the best. If you married someone who's lazy, immature, and a financial burden, it may be better to call it quits before you have children. Take care of yourself at this point and don't worry about him. If I understand zyggy correctly, your husband won't be admitted to the States anyway. Take some time, be with your family in Florida, and get feedback from those who love you.

There's no rush to get a divorce. That can come if you decide later, and with a clear head, that you want one. Right now, tell him you're taking some time for yourself. End of discussion. I'm not sure if you can withdraw the visa petition at this point, or what financial obligations you might have. But these are just details compared to getting a grip on whether this guy is stable and a good partner for the long term. Take heart. Because you may be extracating yourself before worse damage is done.