Wedding Details

[Arabella 4]

I already did the big wedding thing, so I am actually glad that because of this whole VISA proces we won't be able to plan something big.

I live right across the street from the ocean, so we are going to get married on the beach. We are going to write our own vows, have a sand pouring ceremony, and it is just going to be just us.

I hope it will look something like this . . .

And now for the dorky truth . . . Our characters were married in-game two years ago, and they got married on the beach as well so this has been our dream wedding . . .

[minnew 4]

I love the table naming idea!!

My cousin and his wife did something similar - she has an Italian background and him German, so they did Italian and German cities...

I think I'd like to do neighbourhoods/landmarks in Toronto/NYC.

The stamping stuff is so annoying.

There is SO much in those two cities... that is an awesome idea!!!

I was at a wedding in December that used music as a way to incorporate seating arrangements. The different tables were assigned by different band names. The bride sang karaoke, and gave music lessons and is working on her own album. I think I sat at The Beatles. I think some of the others were Journey, AC/DC...That's also how the next in line at the buffet table got sorted out.

[Hugglebuggles 60]

Thanks for the stamp idea Jill! I'll do that.

Marilyn- You looked so pretty!! I love the sleeves!

Bill and I have been to a couple different places together, so we decided to use everything... after all, there's not much to see in my hometown to name a table after So were using some places in NC, Ohio, California, Ontario, and Colorado... possibly Quebec, Michigan and NY state. We'll see how they turn out!

[Marilyn. 340]

Thanks for the stamp idea Jill! I'll do that.

Marilyn- You looked so pretty!! I love the sleeves!

Bill and I have been to a couple different places together, so we decided to use everything... after all, there's not much to see in my hometown to name a table after So were using some places in NC, Ohio, California, Ontario, and Colorado... possibly Quebec, Michigan and NY state. We'll see how they turn out!

thanks.. my mom made the dress... she also made the flower girl's dress (the flower girl was my little sister).. the material for both dresses cost about 100 bucks and of course the labour was free

[JillA 2]

So I'm going to look at this place today, I think it may be the one! It looks great and I've heard good reviews from a friend, so I'm hoping for the best: http://www.celebrationsweddings.com/

[SapphireDreams 71]

So I'm going to look at this place today, I think it may be the one! It looks great and I've heard good reviews from a friend, so I'm hoping for the best: http://www.celebrationsweddings.com/

Looks really nice Jill, how did it turn out?

Today I went and put a deposit down on our place... now it all feels very official!

[JillA 2]

So I'm going to look at this place today, I think it may be the one! It looks great and I've heard good reviews from a friend, so I'm hoping for the best: http://www.celebrationsweddings.com/

Looks really nice Jill, how did it turn out?

Today I went and put a deposit down on our place... now it all feels very official!

OH I loved it, but I'm so dissapointed and a little annoyed.... I told the guy in my e-mail I had b/w 85-100 people, and he didn't mention a thing. Then when we arrive and he's showing us around, he happens to say that the minimum requirement of guests is 140!! There must be places that accept smaller parties, I've just got to keep searching!

[July09Bride 1]

So I'm going to look at this place today, I think it may be the one! It looks great and I've heard good reviews from a friend, so I'm hoping for the best: http://www.celebrationsweddings.com/

Looks really nice Jill, how did it turn out?

Today I went and put a deposit down on our place... now it all feels very official!

OH I loved it, but I'm so dissapointed and a little annoyed.... I told the guy in my e-mail I had b/w 85-100 people, and he didn't mention a thing. Then when we arrive and he's showing us around, he happens to say that the minimum requirement of guests is 140!! There must be places that accept smaller parties, I've just got to keep searching!

Sapphire - That's so exciting! Congrats on finding AND getting the place you want.

Jill - That's horrible. I know of a place in Philly that might be available for you, but it only seats 75 with tables... not the 85-100. In addition, I'm not sure if they offer catering or if you'd have to being in your own... anyway, send me a PM if you're interested.

[July09Bride 1]

Thanks for the stamp idea Jill! I'll do that.

Marilyn- You looked so pretty!! I love the sleeves!

Bill and I have been to a couple different places together, so we decided to use everything... after all, there's not much to see in my hometown to name a table after So were using some places in NC, Ohio, California, Ontario, and Colorado... possibly Quebec, Michigan and NY state. We'll see how they turn out!

With all of these weddings this summer, we should definitely resurrect the wedding pictures thread(s)! Maybe even offer up some of the pics as ideas for others. Hmmm... I think Carrie already had her wedding, PopRocks' is in June, ours is in July (and someone else's is in July, too -- can't remember who, though!), Huggles' is in August...

SO many pictures to look over this summer!!! Yea! I can't wait to see everyone else's pics!

[JillA 2]

So I'm going to look at this place today, I think it may be the one! It looks great and I've heard good reviews from a friend, so I'm hoping for the best: http://www.celebrationsweddings.com/

Looks really nice Jill, how did it turn out?

Today I went and put a deposit down on our place... now it all feels very official!

OH I loved it, but I'm so dissapointed and a little annoyed.... I told the guy in my e-mail I had b/w 85-100 people, and he didn't mention a thing. Then when we arrive and he's showing us around, he happens to say that the minimum requirement of guests is 140!! There must be places that accept smaller parties, I've just got to keep searching!

Sapphire - That's so exciting! Congrats on finding AND getting the place you want.

Jill - That's horrible. I know of a place in Philly that might be available for you, but it only seats 75 with tables... not the 85-100. In addition, I'm not sure if they offer catering or if you'd have to being in your own... anyway, send me a PM if you're interested.

Thanks July!! I think we are going to have closer to 100, so I'll keep looking.... actually found a few places online so I'm going to see a few more venues next weekend! Found them through theknot.com love that website!

[Hugglebuggles 60]

Thanks for the stamp idea Jill! I'll do that.

Marilyn- You looked so pretty!! I love the sleeves!

Bill and I have been to a couple different places together, so we decided to use everything... after all, there's not much to see in my hometown to name a table after So were using some places in NC, Ohio, California, Ontario, and Colorado... possibly Quebec, Michigan and NY state. We'll see how they turn out!

With all of these weddings this summer, we should definitely resurrect the wedding pictures thread(s)! Maybe even offer up some of the pics as ideas for others. Hmmm... I think Carrie already had her wedding, PopRocks' is in June, ours is in July (and someone else's is in July, too -- can't remember who, though!), Huggles' is in August...

SO many pictures to look over this summer!!! Yea! I can't wait to see everyone else's pics!

Me too!! That's a good idea so we don't end up with 100 "look at my wedding!!" threads

I'm glad I'm last... this way I can steal everyone's ideas

I would be lost without theknot too! I love it

Edited May 3, 2009 by Hugglebuggles

[SapphireDreams 71]

Thanks for the stamp idea Jill! I'll do that.

Marilyn- You looked so pretty!! I love the sleeves!

Bill and I have been to a couple different places together, so we decided to use everything... after all, there's not much to see in my hometown to name a table after So were using some places in NC, Ohio, California, Ontario, and Colorado... possibly Quebec, Michigan and NY state. We'll see how they turn out!

With all of these weddings this summer, we should definitely resurrect the wedding pictures thread(s)! Maybe even offer up some of the pics as ideas for others. Hmmm... I think Carrie already had her wedding, PopRocks' is in June, ours is in July (and someone else's is in July, too -- can't remember who, though!), Huggles' is in August...

SO many pictures to look over this summer!!! Yea! I can't wait to see everyone else's pics!

Me too!! That's a good idea so we don't end up with 100 "look at my wedding!!" threads

I'm glad I'm last... this way I can steal everyone's ideas

I would be lost without theknot too! I love it

I think I'm very last! Sept 25, 2010! I wish it was sooner, but we needed more time to plan and save $$!

Jill - I hope you find something soon!

I'm excited to see everyone's photos too!

[July09Bride 1]

My favorite thing about The Knot??? The CHECKLIST!!!!!! That is the BEST! I mean, I have due dates for payments in my planner, but everything I'm supposed to do is on there! My mom keeps telling me this is too early or that is too early... I just keep plugging along. I figure, if I'm ahead now, that'll make things easier later!

[July09Bride 1]

Okay, here's a serious and very bothersome topic that I'm dealing with in relation to our wedding, and any thoughts or advice you all might have, would be gratefully appreciated. Be prepared for a novel. You've got to know the background, for this is also a partial vent and rant about....

*sigh*

Here goes. My parents got divorced when I was 5. My biological father was the every-other weekend dad. I never really saw him other than on "his" weekends. Sometimes, when it was his weekend, I'd be left with a babysitter or on my own, so he could go out to an event (dinners for work or whatever). He rarely showed up for my dance recitals... I can remember him calling me multiple times a couple of hours prior to the recital telling me he wouldn't be there. I would be crushed and then my mom and step-dad (I call him Leo (his name) but he has become/is my "real dad" and always refer to him as dad as he & my mom married when I was 7 1/2) would keep my spirits up and eventually I'd forget about the call and get all happy and excited again.

Well, when I was 14 and a freshman in high school, he decided that he was going to move from Phoenix to Sacramento, CA. He told me he wanted to start his life over and get a fresh new start. I remember crying when he left, and although I was crying, I remember feeling odd about crying. I think I was crying b/c he was moving, but more for the fact that he was already never there, and this was going to make him absent even more.

When he moved, I saw him about once every 2 or 3 years. Then, when I was in college (ok Canadian friends, read university), I saw him a couple of times. Once for his wedding #3 (step-mom #2) and once for a fun ski-trip. After that, we went back to the once every 2 or 3 years. Just before I moved to Michigan, I received a 3-page, typed, single-spaced letter telling me I didn't deserve to have his last name, he was going to disown me, and that I was a horrible daughter and granddaughter. This was just before my cousin's wedding, and I decided to attend the wedding for my cousin and I could ignore my father. So, when I shoed up, I did just that. I rented my own car, said hello and hugged ALL of my relatives, except him, and had fun with the rest of the family. Just as I was curling my hair in the bathroom on the afternoon of the wedding, he stopped by the bathroom and told me he was sorry about the letter. I accepted his apology, but things were still unbelievably tense. Now, mind you, this was AFTER I dropped everything to go to California b/c my step-mom's daughter (did I mention he'd been remarried yet again and this was step-mom #3 and marriage #4??) was shot and killed at point-blank range. I took days off from work, used saved frequent flyer miles to get there in time for the funeral, and spent the whole time I was there as the little worker bee so my father & step-mom didn't have to do ANYTHING?? I answered the phone, took the messages, ran to & from the grocery store for the reception at the house after the funeral, and kept things full during the reception, then flew out the following day.

Just after I moved to Michigan in 2001, my grandfather (his dad) passed away. I flew to Missouri for that event and the following year, one of my cousins got married and I flew back for that too. I'd now seen him more in the past two years, than I had in the previous 3 or 4. A couple of years later, my other cousin got married and this time, my now fiance' accompanied me on the trip. Since my cousin's wedding and another wedding we were both in were both before my birthday, my fiance' gave me an early birthday gift... my first digital camera! I was so excited, I could hardly stand myself! When I got to Missouri, and we got settled in at my uncle's house (where I always stay), I wanted to show off my "new toy". So, I shared that Duncan got me a digital camera and I was showing it off - all excited that it was a 5 megapixel (that was big at the time)! My father's comment? "Well, my digital camera has 6 megapixels." That's word-for-word what he said. Not the typical parent response I was expecting.

The following year, my father celebrated his 60th birthday. I went to Saramento for his birthday party and these people kept toasting this amazing man. I couldn't quite figure out who they were talking about... but thought that if THIS is who he had become, I just wish it was the man I knew to be my father.

As of last year, when Duncan and I got engaged, my father was all excited... or so it seemed - at least, that's what he said. He said he'd cover half the costs with my parents (mom & step-dad). So, we figured out a budget after doing a lot of online and window shopping. We sent it to him and he returned it with his adjustments and what he was willing to cover. Fine, whatever. Not a big deal. He kept saying he'd send me a credit card that I could use to cover costs and make down payments. That never showed up... he never ordered it. He balked at the cost of this or the cost of that, and wondered if there were cheaper options. Seriously... if there WERE cheaper options, we would have gone with the cheaper option. I mean, my dress was less than $900 after taxes (including the headpiece and veil). There were MANY out there much more expensive, but there were some things I wanted my dress to have style-wise, that I thought the price was terrific - and so did my mom.

Sorry, I digress... when Duncan & I decided we wanted to go to Hawaii last Thanksgiving, we got an amazing price on the cruise and with the 3-day free hotel that I won at a bridal show, we thought that Hawaii would be great! Well, I was teaching extra classes and their enrollment kept dropping and I never went back and that hrt, b/c that was my "wedding/honeymoon" money. So, fast-forward to one week ago...

Both sets of parents were on the phone talking about the wedding costs and our honeymoon. They decided together, that they would cover the cost of the honeymoon as a wedding gift to us, I was elated! I'm sure some of you saw my excitement in the "Good News" thread. Anyway, my father was to send 1/2 the price to my parents this past week. Yesterday, my step-dad still hadn't received the money, and he called my father to find out what was going on... he was concerned the check had gotten lost in the mail or something. Nope. The check was never sent. Before my father was let go from his job a couple of weeks ago, he ran up a $3500 cell phone bill and the company wasn't going to pay it. He would have to pay it. Who runs up a $3500 cell phone bill???!! So, instead, my father just didn't bother to call my parents and tell them that he wasn't sending the money. Well, last Sunday when my parents told us the good news, they said to use their credit card to pay off the trip as our wedding gift from them. (BTW, the honeymoon had to be paid in full by 5/1.)

Again, another way for him to NOT come through for me. When I was in Arizona a month ago, he was there for my showers along with my step-mom. The afternoon of the 2nd shower, he came up to me about an hour into the event, and told me that he & my step-mom would probably be leaving before the end of the shower. They were afraid that the flight they had would get them in too late (at 9pm) and would have to drive home, blah, blah, blah. We were all outside b/c the weather was beautiful. So, everyone heads inside for the "game" and while we're doing that, he sneaks out the front door without even a goodbye! Just OUT! I saw them walking by the front window, and I turned to look at my mom. She asked me if I wanted her to stop them, and I said don't worry. They can't be bothered to say goodbye, neither can I. ARGH.

I had a very difficult time deciding who should walk me down the aisle. I want my stepdad to do it, but I felt that my father would be slighted. So, I thought I'd have them both walk me, but I'd want my step-dad on the "traditional" side, and I didn't want to deal with all of that. So, I had to come up with another solution. My mom. She's one of my best friends and has been there (literally) through it all. So, I asked her to do it. She was trepidacious at first, b/c she didn't want my step-dad to be upset. Believe it or not, my catering manager for where we're having ht reception came up with a terrific idea. We're planning on my mom walking me down, and both dads being up front to meet us, and all three of them give me away. In addition, right now, both sets of parents are listed on the invitations.

I'm SO afraid my father is not going to come through for the wedding and my mom and stepdad will be responsible for everything. My father is SO good at backing out and not following through. Here's my predicament. Does he still come? Does he come as a "regular" guest? If he doesn't come, I'm afraid my very aging grandmother (my only biological grandparent that I totally love to pieces with all my heart who is still living) won't be able to get to my wedding. I want her there so much. It brings me to tears each time I think of getting married and not having her there. What about his brother who will be there? My mom says that my uncle thinks my dad is/can be a jerk... but I haven't heard that before. I also have cousins coming... one's son is the ring bearer and another cousin is an usher and would do anything for me. What (if anything) do I tell them?

Right now, I feel SOOOOO hurt by my father. He promises the world and provides not even a bread crumb, time after time. The fact he didn't have the decency to call my parents to say, "Hey, I have a sticky situation here and I can't get you the money I promised you by Friday. Can I get it to you in the next month or so?" I mean, how hard is that?

OHHHH. I get SO mad with him. My step-dad is going to call him at the beginning of the week and try to get something financial from him... wired money, cashier's check... something he can't cancel or renig on. If he doesn't come through, I'm getting prepared to let him have it. He OWES my parents. Big time. He didn't pay all of his child support. He didn't pay for college (which he was supposed to do.) Didn't pay for braces (which he was supposed to do.) Didn't pay and hasn't paid for ANYTHING other than the photographer (and that's not even fully paid off, yet) for the wedding. My parents have been covering his "items". Oh, this is good... when I called him to try and get an answer from him about costs - he said he didn't know what his costs were - said he didn't have or know about the budget. Wow... I corrected him on that straight away. Yeah, he had one, he was trying to weasel out. Imagine that.

What do I do? Invite him as a guest? Put only my mom & step-dad's names on the invite? Ask him not to come? I'm tired of empty promises. How will I feel if he's not there? How do I deal with his family members if he doesn't come? What about my grandma??

Sorry ladies, that this is such an unbelievably long post with so much personal info... I just can't figure out what to do. No one around me likes my father much, so I guess I'm hoping impartial people who haven't ever met me IRL or him, can help in some way.

Thoughts or ideas? Honestly, I'm not looking for a pity party or a woah is me moment. I just need to figure out if he should be there or not and if he is, in what capacity.

[Hugglebuggles 60]

Wow that's one crazy and complicated situation... I will try to offer some insight.

First, I guess I'll tell you that my parents were never divorced, but my father passed away when I was 7. At the age of 9 my mother remarried to a man I adore, and he adopted me. He's been a great father to me and my sister and will be walking me down the aisle. However, for the last 14 years I've struggled with my relationship with my biological dads family. For 10 years I never talked to any of them after a very long and complicated legal battle (which i'd rather not discuss) tore the family apart. After reaching adulthood they never showed any interest. In 14 years I never got a birthday card or a letter, anything. I've since rekindled a relationship with my one aunt, who is invited to the wedding. The others in the family are not invited, because nothing tells me they even care. I've tried hard not to be resentful but Its hard sometimes when people who are suposed to be so important in your life constantly let you down... Its definitely not the same situation but I can only imagine the hurt you must feel. There is no reason why your own father should have treated you the way he has, no reason at all. I'm sorry you've had to go through that.

As far as finances go, although I wouldn't say its his responsibility to pay up, its definitely not ok to promise money and then not follow through without offering an explanation. I can imagine that you budgeted your wedding expecting X amount of dollars from your father, and now you're stuck over budget and scrambling... and then in turn, your parents have to pick up the financial slack, which is really unfair to everyone. So not only has he not showed you any love and devotion, he has proven he is a cheapskate and that he has no desires to be any help at all. I'm sure it would be different if he sat you down and explained to you his situation and why he can't help, or why he can only help a little, opposed to using the tactics he has.

So, really, you don't owe your father anything, nothing at all. If it were me, I don't think I would hesitate leaving him off the guest list. I'm a very simple drama free person, I don't like dealing with it and I avoid it like the plague. If I thought for a moment that someone or something was going to turn the most important day of my life into a stressful and regretful time then it would be eliminated. Its your day to be selfish! But... I also understand that is a very delicate situation with your entire family. I think your idea of having your mom walk you down the isle is a great alternative to avoid any father drama. If having him there seems like a complete necessity, then i'd consider treating him like a normal guest. To avoid hurt feelings it might be a good idea to put his name on the invite... It doesn't really mean anything. If he doesn't come, then it has nothing to do with you, you were the bigger person and you invited him despite all the problems! With that said, I can see you love your grandma! Maybe there's another way to get her to the wedding that doesn't involve being reliant on your dad... Try and sort out some alternatives.

Good luck! I know you'll do the right thing. Just remember that this is YOUR big day. If someone doesn't like how you go about it then oh well!! Its your decision to make, not theirs.