Mother-n-law

[Mrs.Walker 0]

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have to let it out somewhere. My mother-n-law is quickly becoming a pain in my ####. My husband i got married April of 2007 I filed his paperwork in December of 2007 because getting my marriage certificate took longer than I expected. I got approved for th I-129f and th I-130 in December of 2008. I let the I-129f continue you to process because it will put me in better position for getting a closer interview date when the NVC has completed th case of the I-130. I am th agent of contact for my husband so anything they need the write me and tell me about it. okay my mother-n-law just got married and got her GC, she was married over here and got her stuff filed over here. She calls me to ask about how my paperwork was going so I started to tell her where we are in the process, BIG Mistake! she started saying she told me to bring her son up on a I-129f and he would have been here a long time ago and I would not be going through all this process if I had listened to her and she would have been able to come to the wedding........ Stop........ I did not tell her to be in America when we got married, its my husband and my wedding we paid for it, if I wanted to have it in Jamaica I will have it in Jamaica that is where most of our family is. so move forward. MY husband's case is at the NVC, I have paid all the fees and sent all my documents, I sent in the copy of his passport and original birth certificate guess the rules changed on the documents because they are telling me his passport is expired and his birth certificate needs to be computer generated. So now my husband has to gt a passport as well as his birth certificate. His mother tells me that the NVC should not be writing me an asking me for all of this stuff and they do not need a copy of his passport or the original birth certificate until he gos for the interview in Jamaica and that I must be doing something wrong because everyone she ask about it that has filed for someone has never done this. She then did the unthinkable, she said I should send her a copy of ll the paperwork I sent in so she could find wt mistake I made. #######!!!! i then said to her I did not like what she said because she is implying that I don't know what I am doing. She then says to me that i should let someone give her a call that I know of that have filed this way. I didn't even answer I just told her that i would talk to her the next day. This proses is hard and this woman is just driving me crazy! Please someone I need some advice because I feel like I want to just let it all go and forget about this whole process, I love my Husband, however this is all getting to be too much.

[Jonesie 1]

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have to let it out somewhere. My mother-n-law is quickly becoming a pain in my ####. My husband i got married April of 2007 I filed his paperwork in December of 2007 because getting my marriage certificate took longer than I expected. I got approved for th I-129f and th I-130 in December of 2008. I let the I-129f continue you to process because it will put me in better position for getting a closer interview date when the NVC has completed th case of the I-130. I am th agent of contact for my husband so anything they need the write me and tell me about it. okay my mother-n-law just got married and got her GC, she was married over here and got her stuff filed over here. She calls me to ask about how my paperwork was going so I started to tell her where we are in the process, BIG Mistake! she started saying she told me to bring her son up on a I-129f and he would have been here a long time ago and I would not be going through all this process if I had listened to her and she would have been able to come to the wedding........ Stop........ I did not tell her to be in America when we got married, its my husband and my wedding we paid for it, if I wanted to have it in Jamaica I will have it in Jamaica that is where most of our family is. so move forward. MY husband's case is at the NVC, I have paid all the fees and sent all my documents, I sent in the copy of his passport and original birth certificate guess the rules changed on the documents because they are telling me his passport is expired and his birth certificate needs to be computer generated. So now my husband has to gt a passport as well as his birth certificate. His mother tells me that the NVC should not be writing me an asking me for all of this stuff and they do not need a copy of his passport or the original birth certificate until he gos for the interview in Jamaica and that I must be doing something wrong because everyone she ask about it that has filed for someone has never done this. She then did the unthinkable, she said I should send her a copy of ll the paperwork I sent in so she could find wt mistake I made. #######!!!! i then said to her I did not like what she said because she is implying that I don't know what I am doing. She then says to me that i should let someone give her a call that I know of that have filed this way. I didn't even answer I just told her that i would talk to her the next day. This proses is hard and this woman is just driving me crazy! Please someone I need some advice because I feel like I want to just let it all go and forget about this whole process, I love my Husband, however this is all getting to be too much.

Stop taking her phone calls. Harsh as it sounds, you'll be better off not answering the phone. Trying to challenge or argue with her will make things worse. No matter what you say, it sounds like she will counter your comments. Once your man gets approved and an interview date is set maybe then she'll relax a little bit.

[reeses16 8]

Sorry to hear about this situation. My advice is don't discuss it with her. Tell her nicely (I know you're frustrated but make sure to sound sincere, calm and reasonable) that you understand that she is missing her son and wants to be reunited with him. As his wife you are actively involved in his immigration process and you see now that it was a bad idea discussing the process with her. As such, you will no longer be discussing the details with her. If she insists on talking about it right then or in the future. Calmly tell her that the topic is no longer up for discussion. Change the topic or get off the phone.

If she is still upset about missing the wedding. Have your husband talk to her, it was a mutual decision to get married, right? Unfair of her to still be upset about this. In dealing with her, you have got to be clear, direct, and calm and your husband needs to help squash some of the drama.

Also, do not fax her any documents. She has your private information now. I know she's family but do you trust her and her husband with that kind of info? I'm sure you were just trying to be a good daughter-in-law or prove a point. But make sure you protect your sensitive info.

Edited April 6, 2009 by reeses16

[StoneLove4Ever 0]

What you are doing is right...When submitting the DS230 to NVC you need a copy of his birth certificate which they only accept the computer generated version not the handwritten version anymore and a copy of his passport...

[Mrs.Walker 0]

What you are doing is right...When submitting the DS230 to NVC you need a copy of his birth certificate which they only accept the computer generated version not the handwritten version anymore and a copy of his passport...

She keeps telling me that Jamaica doe the processing at the embassy down there. i talked to the embassy they say they process all cases t the NVC so the embassy has nothing to do but set the interview. Did the passport change too, because his is older.

[StoneLove4Ever 0]

What you are doing is right...When submitting the DS230 to NVC you need a copy of his birth certificate which they only accept the computer generated version not the handwritten version anymore and a copy of his passport...

She keeps telling me that Jamaica doe the processing at the embassy down there. i talked to the embassy they say they process all cases t the NVC so the embassy has nothing to do but set the interview. Did the passport change too, because his is older.

Also when i mean copy of the birth certificate it is the certified copy one...the one with the seal so when hubby gets it from RDG that is what he has to send...he should get two copies because i did not receive anything back from NVC till this day and he should keep one for himself...the passport hasn't changed but it has to be good for at least 6 months before it expires...so he was probably in the six month threshold...The embassy only process documents if you are following the K-1 or the K-3...but it looks like you are doing the CR-1 which NVC handles everything down to giving you the interview date...what step are you at right now????

[Mrs.Walker 0]

What you are doing is right...When submitting the DS230 to NVC you need a copy of his birth certificate which they only accept the computer generated version not the handwritten version anymore and a copy of his passport...

She keeps telling me that Jamaica doe the processing at the embassy down there. i talked to the embassy they say they process all cases t the NVC so the embassy has nothing to do but set the interview. Did the passport change too, because his is older.

Also when i mean copy of the birth certificate it is the certified copy one...the one with the seal so when hubby gets it from RDG that is what he has to send...he should get two copies because i did not receive anything back from NVC till this day and he should keep one for himself...the passport hasn't changed but it has to be good for at least 6 months before it expires...so he was probably in the six month threshold...The embassy only process documents if you are following the K-1 or the K-3...but it looks like you are doing the CR-1 which NVC handles everything down to giving you the interview date...what step are you at right now????

All they need at the NVC right now is my husband's birth certificate and copy of passport. I sent the passport before but they aid it was expired, it does not expire until 9/26/2010 so I m not sure why they said that, I sent a copy again and also asked my husband to get a new one just in case. we are almost done.

[Forever Young 1]

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have to let it out somewhere. My mother-n-law is quickly becoming a pain in my ####. My husband i got married April of 2007 I filed his paperwork in December of 2007 because getting my marriage certificate took longer than I expected. I got approved for th I-129f and th I-130 in December of 2008. I let the I-129f continue you to process because it will put me in better position for getting a closer interview date when the NVC has completed th case of the I-130. I am th agent of contact for my husband so anything they need the write me and tell me about it. okay my mother-n-law just got married and got her GC, she was married over here and got her stuff filed over here. She calls me to ask about how my paperwork was going so I started to tell her where we are in the process, BIG Mistake! she started saying she told me to bring her son up on a I-129f and he would have been here a long time ago and I would not be going through all this process if I had listened to her and she would have been able to come to the wedding........ Stop........ I did not tell her to be in America when we got married, its my husband and my wedding we paid for it, if I wanted to have it in Jamaica I will have it in Jamaica that is where most of our family is. so move forward. MY husband's case is at the NVC, I have paid all the fees and sent all my documents, I sent in the copy of his passport and original birth certificate guess the rules changed on the documents because they are telling me his passport is expired and his birth certificate needs to be computer generated. So now my husband has to gt a passport as well as his birth certificate. His mother tells me that the NVC should not be writing me an asking me for all of this stuff and they do not need a copy of his passport or the original birth certificate until he gos for the interview in Jamaica and that I must be doing something wrong because everyone she ask about it that has filed for someone has never done this. She then did the unthinkable, she said I should send her a copy of ll the paperwork I sent in so she could find wt mistake I made. #######!!!! i then said to her I did not like what she said because she is implying that I don't know what I am doing. She then says to me that i should let someone give her a call that I know of that have filed this way. I didn't even answer I just told her that i would talk to her the next day. This proses is hard and this woman is just driving me crazy! Please someone I need some advice because I feel like I want to just let it all go and forget about this whole process, I love my Husband, however this is all getting to be too much.

Mrs W.,

You are obviously not a fool or a half-wit...because you have reached this far in the process. I whole-heartedly agree with Jonesie! If it is not going to cause a problem b/t you & your husband...LEAVE HER ALONE!! This entire process is taxing enough...the last thing you need is for any further aggravation! And that is exactly what I would tell her once he arrives and is finally packed away in YOUR home!

Hang tight and stay strong..."This too shall pass!'

Bless-ed,

Gill

[NatPatBen 3]

.. She then did the unthinkable, she said I should send her a copy of ll the paperwork I sent in so she could find wt mistake I made. #######!!!! i then said to her I did not like what she said because she is implying that I don't know what I am doing. She then says to me that i should let someone give her a call that I know of that have filed this way. ..

Did she show any acknowledgement of or remorse for being rude, when you told her that you didn't like what she said? Sometimes people say dumb stuff without knowing how it comes out, and when you call them on it, they think more before doing it again. But sometimes if you call them out, they'll deny they were rude in the first place... If she has that reaction, I agree with other posters' suggestion of not discussing this matter with her.

[Mrs.Walker 0]

.. She then did the unthinkable, she said I should send her a copy of ll the paperwork I sent in so she could find wt mistake I made. #######!!!! i then said to her I did not like what she said because she is implying that I don't know what I am doing. She then says to me that i should let someone give her a call that I know of that have filed this way. ..

Did she show any acknowledgement of or remorse for being rude, when you told her that you didn't like what she said? Sometimes people say dumb stuff without knowing how it comes out, and when you call them on it, they think more before doing it again. But sometimes if you call them out, they'll deny they were rude in the first place... If she has that reaction, I agree with other posters' suggestion of not discussing this matter with her.

Not really she called me the next day saying she just wants the best for her son and that I don't trust what she is saying. i explained to her that I hear where she is coming from, however I also have my husbands best interest at heart and no one has been waiting longer than me for him to be here. She said if I did not have anything to hide then it should be no problem for her to see the paperwork...... now it took all the heavenly help i could get and biting my lip and going back to the manners to my elders my grandmothers and Parents taught me not to say a few choice word. my dear VJers it's not that I would have a problem under normal circumstances letting her see the paperwork, but it is th principal and get the Hell out of my Business and the rude approach that I will not be giving her nothing.

[dillon 6]

Just tell her you have it under control and if you need her help you will be sure to ask.

[^KK^ 3]

Mrs. Walker,

I'm sure you have no problems with the filing. Mother In Law should realize that not all cases are the same.

KK

[LIFE'SJOURNEY 970]

I believe it is time for hubby to step up and tell his mother to stay out of this. This is between you and your husband, and if you'll feel that you'll need her advuse or assistance then you'll will contact her.

[Mrs.Walker 0]

I believe it is time for hubby to step up and tell his mother to stay out of this. This is between you and your husband, and if you'll feel that you'll need her advuse or assistance then you'll will contact her.

So my husband handled it, he told her not to call my phone anymore if she is going to question what I am doing. I'm the reason I he had not done anything before. I told him I did not want problems with his mother and I did not want anything to get in their relationship. Thank you. I did not know he had done that because I had not spoken to him since his mother and I spoke yesterday. I called him this evening and he told me what he had done because she called him this morning.

Edited April 6, 2009 by Mrs.Walker

[LIFE'SJOURNEY 970]

Good, I am glad he saw that it was time for him to step forward. When it's all over, no one will remember this incident.