Not a happy camper this morning

[Sprailenes 47]

When I was a teenager I was pretty awful to my mother. She was trying to go to university and I was running away and just generally being unruly. I did well in school, but I didn't do well at home. I was angry with my mom for a lot of things, that had nothing to do with her, but she was the person I blamed for a lot of things that had happened up to that point. I didn't see her as trying to make a better life for me, I didn't see her as trying to protect me. She was a wall and she was in my way, she was my inconvenience. I didn't care about anyone else but myself.

I look back now and I wonder how she stayed sane through it all.

Edited April 4, 2009 by Sprailenes

[sara..... 371]

hmmm i dont know if it will work with ur daughter or not but u could try to call her bluff

just say ok u dont want to go fine im going then beging collecting the phones in the home her cell phone her ipod power cord to the tv, computer but all of that and only ur things in the car she is gonna be really mad but see if she dont follow u to the car

sara

[Ontarkie 14,133]

I don't have that issue with my kids 3 out of the 4 are teens but the older 2 are boys that may be it. I will agree that boys seem to be easier my daughter will be 14 and already I see a difference between her and her brothers.

As for your daughter you said that you can't leave her behind alone so why not get a sitter. I'd tell her if she wants to act like a 2 year old well she will be treated like one and your going to get a sitter cause their is no way you she will ruin your trip. Start calling ppl, ask anyone her friends parents or family and get it set up and tell her. She has one last chance get packed or she is staying but your going regardless. Then do it.

Edited April 4, 2009 by Ontarkie

[Sprailenes 47]

I don't have that issue with my kids 3 out of the 4 are teens but the older 2 are boys that may be it. I will agree that boys seem to be easier my daughter will be 14 and already I see a difference between her and her brothers.

As for your daughter you said that you can't leave her behind alone so why not get a sitter. I'd tell her if she wants to act like a 2 year old well she will be treated like one and your going to get a sitter cause their is no way you she will ruin your trip. Start calling ppl, ask anyone her friends parents or family and get it set up and tell her. She has one last chance get packed or she is staying but your going regardless. Then do it.

I like this idea a lot.

[BH45 0]

Udella....I feel for you. I have a teenage daughter, not living with me, but it's still tough. I would love for her to come and visit this summer but her dad is demanding some time of her summer vacation as well. She was supposed to go see her dad on the west coast for her spring break but she procrastinated until it was too late to make any kind of arrangements ($$$$ being an issue).

Here we are the beginning of April and she is procrastinating yet again at committing to spending time with either parent this summer. I've already told her that if she hasn't made decisions by the end of April, we will be making them for her. She will be spending time with both of her parents this summer and she may not be happy but she is only 15.

I know I have time yet to get this settled. I just want you to know that you are definitely not alone when it comes to "difficult" teenage daughter.

I agree with Ontarkie - get her a sitter. That may just be what she needs to prompt her into going on your vacation. I hope all works out for the best.

[trailmix 77]

I hope, since you haven't returned to this thread, that you are on your way to Canada

[Ban Hammer 13,110]

I hope, since you haven't returned to this thread, that you are on your way to Canada

or at erma brown.

[thetreble 19]

I hope so as well! I have my fingers crossed that everything got sorted. Please give us an update when you can, udella.

I have so much respect for you parents out there. I often get scared at the thought of having children..it is such a demanding job.

[Udella&Wiz 325]

I hope, since you haven't returned to this thread, that you are on your way to Canada

No such luck - I spent most of Sunday and Monday crying privately until I finally went grocery shopping yesterday which sealed the deal. I like the sitter idea too, we just don't know anyone who could do it. Living far away from my family sucks and I told Don that...after 1.5 years almost I have a couple 'work' friends', but nothing special. No one to rely on anyway

Sunday afternoon it was REMARKABLE how well my daughter looked and so Monday morning, after watching her scarf down breakfast and watch a movie...I said, calmly, why don't you go and get packed, we may not have as long a vacation, but at least we can salvage something. She wouldn't, couldn't, made excuses...said next week would be better. It boils down to the fact that she has shut herself off from everyone back home, she doesn't really talk to many old friends anymore, but that's her own fault. She was encouraged repeatedly to foster the old relationships, but because she is her own person, she chose to make her bed....except now we're all stuck with her behaviour.

My dad is beyond angry (and he's a super patient guy)...he is now considering coming down for a week to spend time and try to talk with her. He's the best dude for it. he's a church elder, a negotiator, a former teacher and patient until the cows come home.

I'm just overwhelmingly sad....if only the tickets hadn't been $1341 to Toronto from Washington, but it is spring rbeak here...

[thetreble 19]

I hope your dad does come down and speak with her. She needs to realize she isn't the boss. I wasn't the boss at 17 and I'm still not the boss of my mum and dad at 25.

[Krikit 1,163]

I am so sad for you, Udella.

[childress_london 3]

That's so sad Udella. Your daughter doesn't seem to have any feelings of empathy or guilt whatsoever. If the trip is not beneficial to her in some way, she won't go. Has it not occured to her that her agreeing to go would benefit YOU? That going on this trip would be a gift to you and would help you with your state of mind? That by indulging in her selfish behavior, she is causing a person she loves (we assume) much stress and sadness? Has she seen you crying over her selfish behavior? Does she exhibit any guilt at all over her actions? I truly feel for you.

[DeadPoolX 9]

I hope your dad does come down and speak with her. She needs to realize she isn't the boss. I wasn't the boss at 17 and I'm still not the boss of my mum and dad at 25.

That's right. At the moment, both Tony Danza and Bruce Springsteen are competing to see who's the boss.