The Vent - Part 2

[JillA 2]

I wish there were sidewalks in my neighborhood. I like to go for long walks and used to go for an hour or so around my old town Oakville, there were sidewalks everywhere. I don't know what it is with here but you don't find sidewalks anywhere. Where do people walk their dogs, on the street? I don't feel comfortable walking on the street with my music in my ears, I'm afraid to get hit by a car!

[Misty1979 0]

I had the same situation pretty much in NC, (lack of sidewalks,) so I'd always try to seek out a park, or if I wasn't anywhere near one, I would walk on the street in the opposite side of traffic so that if anyone WAS to try to hit little ol' me, I would see them coming first!

Do you have any off leash parks in your area? Awesome exercise for the 4 legged persuasion, and good exercise for you as well if your doggie doesn't listen and you have to chase him around the park!

[coldwatersurf 5]

Im not venting but more like I dont know what else I can do to help my friend and I'm now leaving and I hope everything is ok w/ her. I feel bad for posting this but hmm. maybe some of you could let me know what I could do as a friend.

the owner of the company i used to work for is a d*ck. I think he is good at getting business but runs the inside part of his company terribly (staff, inventory, and anything the customer doesnt see). He is a paranoid freak and will wake up at 1 am to go check on a show b/c he doesnt trust the guys on site. But his gf was career driven and when i first met her she was great. Now I have grown close to her b/c she works @ the office and she doesnt get paid regularly. she gets paid a couple of hundred a month and since she is living w/ her bf (my boss), i already know how he thinks.. he thinks "i pay your boarding and living so you need to pay that back by working for me".... I know this nothing is every free w/ my employer. I work in events and have connection to get into venues. I used the company name to by pass line ups and door charges. He said it was ok and whenever he needs me to do something that's not on my task list (like use my car to pick up something b/c they forgot it at a show), he would bring up how the company brings me benefits.

Anyways.... there are some serious personal problems between them and plus they argue about work b/c they work together and i have tried consulting my friend to stop working for the company(for basically NADA) and continue on with her career she badly wants (which is politics) - for god sakes.. she was chosen as top 40 under 40 & she's 23 yrs old (ppl who are under 40 yrs old who have done incredible achievements in the community). She feels bad to leave him b/c he is a wreck and i have told her that is the path he's chosen and she cannot help him & she's already tried. I feel like I've given up on her b/c she knows the right move but i guess when you get on that part of the relationship where its totally dysfunctional and you cant see the clear reality and you're stuck in that situation b/c of some dysfunctional emotion. I care about her so much and empathize w/ her and have tried to stop her from my personal experiences but it seems like she could not give herself any confidence. All i could do really is listen b/c i know its important for someone to listen to her to vent - i was in this situation years ago and i was a basket case.

[minnew 4]

Waiting....Waiting...This really sucks!! I could handle waiting for the NOA2 alot better because I did not know when it was going to come! When other filers in my group started to get approved I became obsessed..LOL. Now that I KNOW when the interview date is and its 4 weeks away! I am a total wreck! I just want to get it over with already! This has been and will be the worst part of the whole process!! Freaking out about the interview!!! I say that now, but I am probably going to kick myself for saying it because once I get the VISA (*knocks on wood*) I won't be moving until September!

[Bern. 3]

WE SOOO SCREWED UP. On our I-130. Well, just one question. We didn't really pay attention that it was on the ''beneficiary'' side, so for question 15. List name of Employer, we put my husbands not mine. So, here's to my future RFE. Unless they can figure it out themselves, which I doubt. We just assumed anything with (relative) next to it was for me. Employer was a toss up, I guess it'll teach me to follow directions

[OBX 51]

WE SOOO SCREWED UP. On our I-130. Well, just one question. We didn't really pay attention that it was on the ''beneficiary'' side, so for question 15. List name of Employer, we put my husbands not mine. So, here's to my future RFE. Unless they can figure it out themselves, which I doubt. We just assumed anything with (relative) next to it was for me. Employer was a toss up, I guess it'll teach me to follow directions

Don't sweat it too much, they may not even pick up on it. (I know it's easier said than done.) When you get to NVC and fill in your DS-230 you will be able to put in the correct info. Good luck

[Ontarkie 14,193]

I'm about ready to kill my kids cat, ok not really but its pretty dam close. The last few days the weather is perfect out so we have the windows opened. He completely destroyed the screans to get out, 2 windows screans now need replacing. Hes nutered and has been an indoor cat now hes on some sort of rampage with my screans. Its really not safe out there for him, hes come home already with some pretty good scratches and i'm starting to think they may not be from other cats.

Anyone have any tips on a spray or something i can put on the screans so he wont keep ruining them, oh on top of ruining the screans which he really doesnt have too he can open my screan doors to get out so reallly there is no need to wreck the screans.

Danielle

[trailmix 77]

Im not venting but more like I dont know what else I can do to help my friend and I'm now leaving and I hope everything is ok w/ her. I feel bad for posting this but hmm. maybe some of you could let me know what I could do as a friend.

There is absolutely nothing you can do for her really - she knows what's up and has chosen it - she will get there, in time.

Edited April 25, 2009 by trailmix

[SonoranSongbird 3]

Borderdriver, your boss sounds like a really ####### BF. She'd be best off leaving him for all kinds of reasons, but she is going to have to figure that out on her own (and he probably has some good qualities that make her want to stay and convinces herself they outweigh the obvious jackbuttedness, so to speak). The best you can do is to listen to her.

Ontarkie, you might try this stuff called bitter apple spray. That was recommended to me when my dog had severe separation anxiety when I first adopted her and it did not do squat, but it can be effective to prevent animals from chewing things. I don't suppose it would be all that effective if he is using his claws to get through the screen though. Here it is just too hot to bother opening the windows---it's AC all the way for us, with a little help from the ceiling fans (and yes, I am a big time weather wuss).

My big vents of the day are pretty miniscule comparatively. I have a really sore shoulder (probably slept in a funky position or something), it is stupidly hot here already, the Cardinals-Cubs game sold out, and the weenies at Versus aren't going to show us the Flames-Blackhawks game tonight! That pales in comparison, so I will STFU about it.

[MissStacey 1]

My dog Cooper chewed up and destroyed my Blackberry this morning.

[Kathryn41 3,205]

I'm about ready to kill my kids cat, ok not really but its pretty dam close. The last few days the weather is perfect out so we have the windows opened. He completely destroyed the screans to get out, 2 windows screans now need replacing. Hes nutered and has been an indoor cat now hes on some sort of rampage with my screans. Its really not safe out there for him, hes come home already with some pretty good scratches and i'm starting to think they may not be from other cats.

Anyone have any tips on a spray or something i can put on the screans so he wont keep ruining them, oh on top of ruining the screans which he really doesnt have too he can open my screan doors to get out so reallly there is no need to wreck the screans.

Danielle

A few suggestions - I have problems with cats and screens as well, so what I have done for all of my windows is to get removable insert screens. They are like two sliding pieces of wood or metal with screens on them that slide to expand or contract to fit the exact width of the window. They come in different heights so you can get them from about 8" to 24". I love to have the windows open but was worried about the screens as well, so I keep one of these inserts by every window that I open. When I open it, I put in the insert and then when I close it I remove the insert. They work very well, provide a 'double screen' and are not expensive. You can buy them at places like Lowe's or Walmart. It is easier and cheaper to replace the insert than the screen. The metal ones seem to fit better than the wood ones.

Also, you might want to invest in some cat furniture - like a cat tree with a built in scratching post - and place that by the window the cat likes to go to most often. It provides him some height and some sitting places where he can scratch to his liking, as well as still see what is going on outside. It also provides him with some activity area that he can take out his frustrations about not being able to go outside. When you see him at a screen, you or the kids should take that time to distract him with a toy and try to play with him inside. Laser pointer lights are often really good, or one of the feathers on a wand or the wire "cat Dancers" - these all move the way prey does and gets the animal really interested.

Also, there are a variety of deterrent sprays that you can put on the screens. Repel is one of them - you can get them at most pet specialty stores like Petsmart or Petco. Ask the sales representatives which ones work best - I find that there are varying ranges of success with these. Bitter Apple is definitely one option - or one of the ones that has hot peppers as the ingredient. The cat has to associate the hot pepper sensation from its paws with the screens though, and that my not be as obvious to him at first. The only other sprays that work by odor are not ones you would want to use inside since they use the urine of wild animals like bobcats and wolves - natural predators - that work on keeping animals like cats, dogs and rabbits away from selected areas.

Another option to help him stop feeling bored inside is to get him a kitten. I'm serious - cats who are alone inside are often bored and destructive damage is caused by their feeling bored. Another kitten gives him a playmate and companion inside and after the initial problems with introduction, they often become fast friends and playmates. Something to think about, anyway.

One other consideration - there is an plug in room atomizer called "Feliway" - it is a behavioural modifier that helps to reinforce positive behaviour modification techniques. It is odourless and plugs in like an air freshener does. It has 'good-feeling' pheromones in it that reassure the cat and makes him feel more laid back and relaxed, like this is a good and safe place to stay. It is used for things like territorial spraying or urinating outside of the box and has had some success on indiscriminate scratching behaviour as well (as long as an acceptable scratching alternative is available). It is pricey to buy in Petco or Petsmart but I order mine on line the the PetGuys or from Amazon as they have the cheapest prices and really reasonable shipping. It is another option to look at.

Hope this helps. Good luck!

Edited April 25, 2009 by Kathryn41

[BermyCat 1]

Im not venting but more like I dont know what else I can do to help my friend and I'm now leaving and I hope everything is ok w/ her. I feel bad for posting this but hmm. maybe some of you could let me know what I could do as a friend.

the owner of the company i used to work for is a d*ck. I think he is good at getting business but runs the inside part of his company terribly (staff, inventory, and anything the customer doesnt see). He is a paranoid freak and will wake up at 1 am to go check on a show b/c he doesnt trust the guys on site. But his gf was career driven and when i first met her she was great. Now I have grown close to her b/c she works @ the office and she doesnt get paid regularly. she gets paid a couple of hundred a month and since she is living w/ her bf (my boss), i already know how he thinks.. he thinks "i pay your boarding and living so you need to pay that back by working for me".... I know this nothing is every free w/ my employer. I work in events and have connection to get into venues. I used the company name to by pass line ups and door charges. He said it was ok and whenever he needs me to do something that's not on my task list (like use my car to pick up something b/c they forgot it at a show), he would bring up how the company brings me benefits.

Anyways.... there are some serious personal problems between them and plus they argue about work b/c they work together and i have tried consulting my friend to stop working for the company(for basically NADA) and continue on with her career she badly wants (which is politics) - for god sakes.. she was chosen as top 40 under 40 & she's 23 yrs old (ppl who are under 40 yrs old who have done incredible achievements in the community). She feels bad to leave him b/c he is a wreck and i have told her that is the path he's chosen and she cannot help him & she's already tried. I feel like I've given up on her b/c she knows the right move but i guess when you get on that part of the relationship where its totally dysfunctional and you cant see the clear reality and you're stuck in that situation b/c of some dysfunctional emotion. I care about her so much and empathize w/ her and have tried to stop her from my personal experiences but it seems like she could not give herself any confidence. All i could do really is listen b/c i know its important for someone to listen to her to vent - i was in this situation years ago and i was a basket case.

I had a friend that lived with a guy with a serious drug problem. We would talk about him and agree that the best thing for her to do was leave but she always managed to invent reasons why she should stay a little longer. I'd be saying things like, "He's an a$$" and "you deserve better" but as soon as I did that she'd start with the rationalization. It was as if me being angry at him meant that she didn't have to be anymore.

Eventually, I started asking her what she thought she should do instead. Then I'd tell her that whatever she chose to do, she'd have my support. I stopped being the sounding board for all those excuses.

I guess what I'm saying is that your friend has to decide on her own whether to leave this guy. All her friends can do is be there when she needs you.

~ Catherine

[beans 7]

Where the fsck is our petition? lol It's been two weeks and its still MIA

[Ontarkie 14,193]

Thanks for the tips SonoranSongbird and Kathryn

I like the insert screan ideal. We have another cat and they do play together we also have a pupper he even loves to play with. He really is a mellow cat no bad habits out of him other then the trying to get out. My other cat has an attitude but he doesn't try to get out the windows.

I guess we will just have to deal with it for a few more weeks then the windows will be all closed up for the A/C. i just like the ideal of getting some fresh air in the house while I can.

WOW Beans I can't believe they didnt send it back the fastest way possible, hope it gets there soon.

Danielle

Edited April 25, 2009 by Ontarkie

[July09Bride 1]

Where the fsck is our petition? lol It's been two weeks and its still MIA

Geez... you'd think think they have some sort of tracking system. It is the government, after all. They can solve cold case crimes with no evidence, but can't locate a 1"-2" think file folder full of info & pictures.