The Vent - Part 2

[SapphireDreams 71]

Wow, Nev. That is REALLY awful. What a terrible and constricting world we live in. He didn't do anything wrong! They are crushing your son's creative mind.

Traliy-Yes, we are to pay for the shower. We are paying for apprx. 70 people. I've never heard of the bridesmaids paying for the shower before. Maybe if mommy and daddy weren't paying for a 50,000 dollar wedding, they'd have enough money to pay for the shower.

They think this is reasonable and are calling us the ungrateful ones.

I personally would never ask my bridesmaids to shell out for my shower, but know that it is done. Normally, the bridesmaids collectively come together and say they would like to throw a shower and plan it together and pay for it. But, it should never be just assumed or insinuated. It should be voluntary and everyone should agree on the cost/place etc together. For the most part though, I've seen showers paid for by the Mother and the MOH.

Also for the record, you dont have to feed guests at a shower a 3 course meal, it's more of an Italian thing to do. It's perfectly acceptable to have a shower at someone's house with cocktails and a spread of lunch foods etc. That's what I want to do (with a tea party theme) and I'm Italian too. Luckily my Italian mother is all for it!

When is her wedding Amanda?

[Krikit 1,164]

Oh my goodness, Nevada. That is too crazy about your son's teacher. There is no way I'd let that one lie. Stupid teacher.

[thetreble 19]

Wow, Nev. That is REALLY awful. What a terrible and constricting world we live in. He didn't do anything wrong! They are crushing your son's creative mind.

Traliy-Yes, we are to pay for the shower. We are paying for apprx. 70 people. I've never heard of the bridesmaids paying for the shower before. Maybe if mommy and daddy weren't paying for a 50,000 dollar wedding, they'd have enough money to pay for the shower.

They think this is reasonable and are calling us the ungrateful ones.

I personally would never ask my bridesmaids to shell out for my shower, but know that it is done. Normally, the bridesmaids collectively come together and say they would like to throw a shower and plan it together and pay for it. But, it should never be just assumed or insinuated. It should be voluntary and everyone should agree on the cost/place etc together. For the most part though, I've seen showers paid for by the Mother and the MOH.

Also for the record, you dont have to feed guests at a shower a 3 course meal, it's more of an Italian thing to do. It's perfectly acceptable to have a shower at someone's house with cocktails and a spread of lunch foods etc. That's what I want to do (with a tea party theme) and I'm Italian too. Luckily my Italian mother is all for it!

When is her wedding Amanda?

Her wedding is Aug. 2nd. The problem is, is that we wouldn't mind paying for the shower if it was at the mother's house. We'd all plan it, make sandwiches, put up directions and have a blast. They want to have it at a restaurant and not many people do that because many people can't afford to do it. The thing is, is that it doesn't seem like a lot but it's just ONE cost of this wedding.

Add up the 300 bucks for my dress and another 350 for the shower, and that's already almost 700 dollars without all the other stuff that is expected of me. I have to spend two nights in a hotel in Philadelphia, I have been warned I will have to pay to get my hair and make up done, (they aren't paying for this) I have to give them a wedding gift of $250.00 (because thats the amount they gave us). I have to pay for the bachelorette party which im sure will come to a couple hundred after drinks and dinner.

See my point? I will end up paying almost $2,000.00 for her wedding. I'm sorry I accepted in the first place. It was such a huge mistake.

[Sprailenes 47]

You guys need to talk to the bride about this... all of you. This is probably going to blow up and it's probably going to happen at the wrong time... like a few days before this girls wedding and then she'll never let you guys live that one down.

I would honestly attempt to iron out the wrinkles now before moving forward. Otherwise gracefully walk away with your dignity intact.

Its a wedding, it isn't a life or death situation. I hate it when women act this way about ONE day.

But I have said it before Amanda and I'll say again: Hey at least you don't have to marry her. Just think about that and sit back and smile.

[Sprailenes 47]

Wow, Nev. That is REALLY awful. What a terrible and constricting world we live in. He didn't do anything wrong! They are crushing your son's creative mind.

Traliy-Yes, we are to pay for the shower. We are paying for apprx. 70 people. I've never heard of the bridesmaids paying for the shower before. Maybe if mommy and daddy weren't paying for a 50,000 dollar wedding, they'd have enough money to pay for the shower.

They think this is reasonable and are calling us the ungrateful ones.

I personally would never ask my bridesmaids to shell out for my shower, but know that it is done. Normally, the bridesmaids collectively come together and say they would like to throw a shower and plan it together and pay for it. But, it should never be just assumed or insinuated. It should be voluntary and everyone should agree on the cost/place etc together. For the most part though, I've seen showers paid for by the Mother and the MOH.

Also for the record, you dont have to feed guests at a shower a 3 course meal, it's more of an Italian thing to do. It's perfectly acceptable to have a shower at someone's house with cocktails and a spread of lunch foods etc. That's what I want to do (with a tea party theme) and I'm Italian too. Luckily my Italian mother is all for it!

When is her wedding Amanda?

Her wedding is Aug. 2nd. The problem is, is that we wouldn't mind paying for the shower if it was at the mother's house. We'd all plan it, make sandwiches, put up directions and have a blast. They want to have it at a restaurant and not many people do that because many people can't afford to do it. The thing is, is that it doesn't seem like a lot but it's just ONE cost of this wedding.

Add up the 300 bucks for my dress and another 350 for the shower, and that's already almost 700 dollars without all the other stuff that is expected of me. I have to spend two nights in a hotel in Philadelphia, I have been warned I will have to pay to get my hair and make up done, (they aren't paying for this) I have to give them a wedding gift of $250.00 (because thats the amount they gave us). I have to pay for the bachelorette party which im sure will come to a couple hundred after drinks and dinner.

See my point? I will end up paying almost $2,000.00 for her wedding. I'm sorry I accepted in the first place. It was such a huge mistake.

Do they have a room block anywhere? If not perhaps you should look at coordinating that? You can say a few bucks if you block off a section of rooms at a hotel, but I'd act fast on that. Summer is wedding season and hotels will only block rooms for so many parties.

The Marriott in Center city is very nice, and somewhat affordable. There is also a Hilton Garden Inn as well right by Reading Terminal Market.

And send her this from all of us here at VJ...

[SapphireDreams 71]

Oh I totally see your point. I don't think her email is acceptable at all. I actually know exactly why they want to have a shower at a restaurant like that - to show off! It's so typical of a lot of my cousins and family on the Italian side and I think it is so silly.

That is SO MUCH money!!! I'm actually really annoyed for you! I don't understand why they can't just throw a shower at someone's house. Especially since the weather is getting nicer and there's just so much you can do to decorate and make it fun!

[thetreble 19]

Awesome pic!

I actually have stayed out of it completely. T hey live three hours away and want me to go down there just for a meeting. That's really a lot of driving for me to do, especially in one day.

I don't want ANY drama and that is why I have not said a thing. I've just been a yes man for the past couple of months. I feel bad for her poor friends who have known her since she was a little kid. They had no clue it would be like this.

[Sprailenes 47]

Even though you live far away, its still having an affect on you and that's not fair. As the day gets closer, it will only get worse. It is the "It's my party and I'll cry if I want to" syndrome.

She's going to be a bawler at the wedding, make sure you stuff lots of tissue into her bouquet. I can tell ya now, she's going to WAIL!

[Krikit 1,164]

I'm thinking someone needs to tape the words "Help Me" onto the bottom of the bridegroom's shoes for when he kneels at the altar.

[TheATeam 0]

Well, I can tell you that I've got first hand experience with this. My step sister was a major bridezilla, thank goodness she was the only one. Her mom has passed and her dad didn't agree with her behavior. My mom spent $2000 on a shower at her house that only 5 people showed up to, wearing JEANS! It was nuts. Finally as it got closer and closer to the day and she got more and more terrible, my family decided they needed to do something. So, one by one each of her two sisters and her dad wrote her a letter telling her that they would not be coming to the wedding and why. They felt that they needed an apology from her and never got one. In fact, she basically phoned and left a message for them all that she had no family anymore and that was fine by her. The next day she had a new MOH, her florist, and her kids as the flower girls. She phoned her uncle and told him that her dad was in a mental hospital and so could he walk her down instead?! So her uncle and aunt were the only relatives that she had at her wedding. That was in August and she still hasn't spoken with her dad, even though she is expecting now.

Can you believe the nerve of some people! I would be out of that wedding so fast! I've obviously never been to a large wedding before because a shower for 70?! Wow! That's crazy.

Edited April 2, 2009 by TheATeam

[Krikit 1,164]

Well, I can tell you that I've got first hand experience with this. My step sister was a major bridezilla, thank goodness she was the only one. Her mom has passed and her dad didn't agree with her behavior. My mom spent $2000 on a shower at her house that only 5 people showed up to, wearing JEANS! It was nuts. Finally as it got closer and closer to the day and she got more and more terrible, my family decided they needed to do something. So, one by one each of her two sisters and her dad wrote her a letter telling her that they would not be coming to the wedding and why. They felt that they needed an apology from her and never got one. In fact, she basically phoned and left a message for them all that she had no family anymore and that was fine by her. The next day she had a new MOH, her florist, and her kids as the flower girls. She phoned her uncle and told him that her dad was in a mental hospital and so could he walk her down instead?! So her uncle and aunt were the only relatives that she had at her wedding. That was in August and she still hasn't spoken with her dad, even though she is expecting now.

Can you believe the nerve of some people! I would be out of that wedding so fast! I've obviously never been to a large wedding before because a shower for 70?! Wow! That's crazy.

And at the bolded bit. But only if this were a fiction novel.

I am shocked at the wedding stories. These should be on TV!

[thetreble 19]

They should be. The latest is that they just kicked another girl out of the wedding party today for complaining. That makes TWO girls they have kicked out since last September.

[Sprailenes 47]

Working with events in a hotel in Canada, I have attended over 200 weddings... I have thought of writing a book about some of the brides and their demands.

The worst one ever was one that had me and my boss crying. We'd leave the ballroom and cry and talk about how awful she was and then wipe our tears and then return to the ballroom, smile and pretend all was well... it was repeated throughout the evening.. leave, cry, return, smile.

She was vicious. She spoke to you as if you were mentally challeneged, she demanded we do things like put rose petals on her bed. It was 10:00 at night when she asked for the rose petals... there was no flower stores open... my boss and I considered going to a cemetary to try to find roses.

Luckily we found a bouquet at IGA which had just extended their store to be a 24 hour store.

There was so much with this bride, she just rubbed EVERYONE the wrong way. After her wedding my boss and I got a bottle of wine, charged it to her account and sat in our office and got drunk. That felt good.

[DeadPoolX 9]

She's offended because she feels he took a wonderful "quote" (as she put it) and put an unacceptable spin on it. I have read the paper. He questioned why America is always asking god to bless them and them only. He said God needs to bless the middle east and Africa and all the poor countries in the world before blessing countries that are already blessed. Maybe because he said Middle East? I don't know.

He took something he sees everywhere and took it literally and wrote about it. In Canada you don't hear us going on about: "GOD BLESS CANADA" so its something that is new to him and it has him thinking... it's had him thinking since he arrived here and this was an opportunity for him to talk about that feeling.

It wasn't a major assignment it was in his creative writing book, but still. The fact that she called me at work about this... there are kids probably being bullied at that school, perhaps there is a kid who really needs help. And you're calling me over this??? Please.

I tend to be pretty patriotic and as such, I see nothing wrong with what he wrote. I think a lot of Americans get the entire basis for patriotism wrong. Patriotism is about loving your country, but also accepting that there's always room for improvement. It's a lot like loving an individual -- you love them, but you can recognize that they aren't perfect.

I see his topic as patriotic as well. He says the "U.S. is blessed." I don't know if I agree with the whole religious aspect, but the point is he says the United States is at a point where we don't need assistance, so others should be helped first. How is that a bad thing?

[trailmix 77]

They should be. The latest is that they just kicked another girl out of the wedding party today for complaining. That makes TWO girls they have kicked out since last September.

Amanda, you might have mentioned this before but I have missed it - why exactly are you staying in the wedding party?