February 09 - VSC

[Maire 1]

So, be nice and I'll give you a virtual hug... I just love hugs!

[lee b 2]

I have a question that came up while talking to my SO the other day. How many are planning on taking the husbands last name? Also if the name is not being changed is it then unreasonable that the man should be upset or angry?

[kayj 0]

I have a question that came up while talking to my SO the other day. How many are planning on taking the husbands last name? Also if the name is not being changed is it then unreasonable that the man should be upset or angry?

why marry someone if you are not willing to take his last name.

[Maire 1]

I have a question that came up while talking to my SO the other day. How many are planning on taking the husbands last name? Also if the name is not being changed is it then unreasonable that the man should be upset or angry?

I am def NOT going to...I dunno hispanics (me being hispanic) are not used to doing this...my parents have been married for 35 years and my mom did not change her last name...and my 'So' will def not going to care since he is not used to that anyways...I dont picture myself at age 24 having a different last name than the one I was born with..so nope I aint doing it....

And regarding your other question..I dont see changing a last name as a prove of love...it isnt at all! so why should he get upset...?pointless....

I have a question that came up while talking to my SO the other day. How many are planning on taking the husbands last name? Also if the name is not being changed is it then unreasonable that the man should be upset or angry?

why marry someone if you are not willing to take his last name.

I will have to disagree with you...sowie it is so funny...cus I dont see the point of changing a last name...why? to let everyone know u belong to him?lmao

Edited May 6, 2009 by Maire

[Richard-Joanna 1]

Taking the Man's last name....

Personally, I am an 'old fashioned' kind of guy and would much prefer that my SO took my name. That said, many women in the US and certainly many other cultures do now have this tradition. Personally, I would be disappointed but I would soon get over it (I think).

Maire... I couldn't find a hug emoticon so you will just have to take this {{{HUGS}}}

[Maire 1]

Taking the Man's last name....

Personally, I am an 'old fashioned' kind of guy and would much prefer that my SO took my name. That said, many women in the US and certainly many other cultures do now have this tradition. Personally, I would be disappointed but I would soon get over it (I think).

Maire... I couldn't find a hug emoticon so you will just have to take this {{{HUGS}}}

[minimule 3]

im only marying him to steal his last name (kidding of course)

[lee b 2]

The weird thing is initially when I asked her I didn't want her to. I thought it would sound odd with her name. When she told me she wasn't sure, but she was leaning towards keeping her name it offended me. As more time passes I get a little more mad about it. I don't see it as proof of love per se, but it makes me feel like she is not totally committed.

[Maire 1]

The weird thing is initially when I asked her I didn't want her to. I thought it would sound odd with her name. When she told me she wasn't sure, but she was leaning towards keeping her name it offended me. As more time passes I get a little more mad about it. I don't see it as proof of love per se, but it makes me feel like she is not totally committed.

Lee....that is not a reason to be upset at all...who knows some cultures might find that keeping their last name is a demonstration of appreciation to her parents or an attachment to her childhood or even an assurance that they are keeping their identity...seriously DO NOT be upset over something so stupid..pardon my french..lol...We need to realize that we are marrying someone with a different culture, background than ours..(well not my case cus I was raised in Cuba)...and as a result we should be a little more sensitive to their personal beliefs...because in your culture(American) changing lasts names is suchhhhhhhhhhhhhh a big deal when it comes to marriage it does not necessarily means its the same for hers...

[lee b 2]

Maire- You are assuming a much higher level of maturity for me. I am a giant child. I will get over this eventually. Its not a big deal, but it is common in Russia to take the mans name. I haven't had a chance to talk to her about it as I wanted to take an extra day to allow myself to be rational. Otherwise my mouth works faster than my mind. I am probably being petty, but sometimes I can't help myself.

[D_n_M 0]

My Finacee is taking my name. She is Russian and they do take the last name of the man. Not to mention that my last name will be the last name of our kids and the family name. I am only familiar with the woman taking the mans last name. But I certainly don't believe there is a wrong or right in this case. If you are truely in love with eachother, equally, it should not matter one bit. Just be in love, married and happy. Life will be good!

[jawi876 2]

I have a question that came up while talking to my SO the other day. How many are planning on taking the husbands last name? Also if the name is not being changed is it then unreasonable that the man should be upset or angry?

I am honored to take my fiance' last name. I am currently still using my ex-husband's name, and I am ready to shed it like dead skin. I have never had an affinity to my father's last name because he never had an affinity toward being a father in the first place. Plus, I hated how people would mis-pronounce my maiden name....sheesh!

Maire I understand what you are saying about the Hispanic culture. I'm not trying to be rude or uncouth...but is that why I see so many cars/trucks with large white letters broadly proclaiming their owners' last name across the back window?

I don't feel the custom of an American woman changing her last name is antiquated...it is simply that...a custom designed to unify the family unit. So Maire, will your kids get your name, his name, or both?

[Maire 1]

I have a question that came up while talking to my SO the other day. How many are planning on taking the husbands last name? Also if the name is not being changed is it then unreasonable that the man should be upset or angry?

I am honored to take my fiance' last name. I am currently still using my ex-husband's name, and I am ready to shed it like dead skin. I have never had an affinity to my father's last name because he never had an affinity toward being a father in the first place. Plus, I hated how people would mis-pronounce my maiden name....sheesh!

Maire I understand what you are saying about the Hispanic culture. I'm not trying to be rude or uncouth...but is that why I see so many cars/trucks with large white letters broadly proclaiming their owners' last name across the back window?

I don't feel the custom of an American woman changing her last name is antiquated...it is simply that...a custom designed to unify the family unit. So Maire, will your kids get your name, his name, or both?

Iam not sure why u mean by trucks and white letters on the back window....Here is the thing in Cuba people have 2 last names not one...So i had my fathers last name and then my mothers last name...when I came to this country I was in shock because I realized when they ask for a last name they mean only one..only my first last name, which is my fathers...It took me a while when filling paperwork they ask for my last name and I always kept asking...which one?my first or my second last name?...just a culture shock...so of course my kids will have my fiance's last name...but if it was in Cuba then he will have his last name and then mine....

[jawi876 2]

LOL...sorry Maire. In Atlanta, some of the Hispanic community will put their last name on the back window of their car like "Hernandez" or "Vasquez" in big bold white letters. I have also seen pictures of the Virgin Mary on the window too.

[Maire 1]

LOL...sorry Maire. In Atlanta, some of the Hispanic community will put their last name on the back window of their car like "Hernandez" or "Vasquez" in big bold white letters. I have also seen pictures of the Virgin Mary on the window too.

lol funny that out of all last names u had to pick one which belongs to me ...well I dunno never seen that here in MIAMI...