How long....to all the ladies w/beneficiary hubby

[Wantedtobelieve 4]

This thread makes me laugh.. I previously was married to "hehaditcoming69's" husband.. and now I"m married to the twin brother of Aymsgirl... :D

I made a horrible mistake not forcing the ex to take any job that was legal, moral, and paid$. He had done anything he needed to support himself before we married. (He was already in the USA before we married) But afterwards pulled the "that's beneath me" ####### because he knew I could and would support us. Out of 8 years of marriage he worked less than 2.

H got his EAD in today's mail and wants to go to Burger King tomorrow to see an Egyptian guy who is a manager there and make application for a job...

The part that amazes me is that my ex that found everything beneath him was from a middle class family with a Mom who worked outside the home (he was a "latchkey" kid in Egypt in the 1960's!!!!!). And he was under employed here working for not more than minimum wage in Appalachia before moving to the West Coast to get married.

H was born with a silver spoon in his mouth and there's never been a single woman in the family who has EVER worked... they just couldn't IMAGINE such a thing! (until me...) But is willing and anxious to be a dishwasher if they would let him! He even read an ad for an empty apartment cleaner and begged me to call them to see if they would hold a spot for him until he got his EAD! (as soon as I assured him he could wear gloves when cleaning the bathroom).

Maybe H being 48 and having gone through a "loss of fortune" back home and managing to do anything it took to support his wife and kids, and Mom after the "silver spoon" had to be sold at auction brought him into reality, and maturity.

I would just say that it's not good for a MENA man to accept support from a woman. If it doesn't depress, or at some level demasculate (is that a word???) them then RUN FROM THEM. Once they get into the entitlement role they get real used to it... Once the demons stop shouting in their ears every time a woman pays for something.. they never seem to come back...

Even if he's in school he can work on the weekend... No one gave me a free ride and I'll never give one again, even though I'm well able to and the fact that H is willing to flip dem burgers knowing my finances makes me love him all the more!

I'm just so glad he finished cleaning and organizing our ENTIRE HOUSE before the EAD came!

Hey gf--Saw your post, it made me laugh, and believe me, I need something to make me laugh. You are right, the sense of entitlement comes really fast. I can't make him understand that what I have comes from yearsssss of working hard. I cleaned houses, worked in retail during the summer, tutored, anything to make ends meet. You will love this, now he wants me to divide our income tax refund so he can pay of his porn bill and send the rest home. Mine, of course, will go to pay off the credit card bill. Does it ever end? The sad part? He thinks I am only interested in money....hmmmm, projection I guess. My crime?? He can't think of any, so now it is talking to people on here that MAKE me do bad things....lol It is laughable!! I told him last night I was going to be happy whether he liked it or not, and if he would be happier back home, go there. I guess you know how exhausting it came be. Anyway, thanks for the laugh!!! Love ya!!!

PS--How do you MAKE them do anything when a simple piece of advice like you really should get going to your job is seen as bossing him around. I am giving up and just determined to be a good person, and screw him!!! I think the mentality from being poor is grab anything you can and to hell with the rest and/or what is right or wrong....

[Cacerez 19]

What kind of class did you find for your husband? My problem is that my fiance is coming from Guatemala and did not graduate high school, he quit school at 16 to start working. He also does not speak hardly any English. Since we are going the K-1 process and will have a few months before receiving EAD, the general plan is to get GED (offered in Spanish!) and to work on learning Spanish so he can at least handle an interview, even if the actual job doesn't require a lot of English. He has only done restaurant work in Guatemala and as he lives in a tourist town, he has picked up his English that way - we always speak in Spanish but if I ask him what he ate for dinner, he almost always responds in English He has said he will do anything, sure there are jobs he prefers over others, but he wants to work ASAP. With my income as a teacher we can make it, but we really want to start saving money to have kids within a year or two Either way, any ideas for jobs for those who don't really speak English yet? BTW, glad you all here in MENA aren't against hearing from those from elsewhere

I think it's really interesting hearing about how couples from other backgrounds face the same, and totally different issues... In fact I just came home from eating Mexican food with hubby and wishing he spoke Spanish! Just be careful if you go speaking Spanish in a Mexican restaurant and you are not with your husband because they will eat you up. At least you never have to wait long to get attended to haha!

It's so common these days for employees to speak Spanish, not English... there are so many Spanish speaking workers especially in food service, even our favorite arabic restaurant has Mexicans making falafel in the kitchen! That's the same here, there are a couple of Japanese restaurants with Hispanic cooks!

There's so much out there if you speak Spanish, like the GED course in Spanish you're planning for him... tons of ESL classes for Spanish speaking people, the driver's manual is in Spanish, the test too if you want it. Signs in Spanish, Press 2 for Spanish, you name it! That's a really good idea, getting him to an ESL evening class...hadn't thought of that. I guess since I'm a Spanish teacher, people (including myself lol) often think I can teach English or ESL just as well. Not so easy. I had a student the other day ask me how to explain when to use some words in English - I had no idea! It's not until you get questions like that do you realize how retarded the English language is - there are so many irregulars it's not even funny!!

But not a dang thing in Arabic... and not the most popular language either... I can't count on two hands the shocked look people have on their faces when they discover my Egyptian husband speaks ARABIC They all think he speaks "Egyptian"... and what a change in their facial expressions when they hear it's "Arabic".... It kind of gets on my nerves... I think I'll let them think it's Egyptian from now on... Well I'll be the ignorant one to dare say in the MENA forum that I didn't know that either - but I'll never make that mistake again Many of my students think they are in Mexican class or that my fiance and I speak Guatemalan lol

At least if he spoke Spanish he could find a place that hires Spanish speaking employees. His English is fine for me, but I have 30+ years of listening to "Arabish" (Arabic accented English) so I'm not a good judge of his accent, etc. But he can't understand the English of almost anyone who doesn't TRY to make him understand them... They talk to fast, too much slang, or too quietly for him to figure it out... That's the thing too, the whole accent. Fortunately Spanish is a little easier or at least more common around here than Arabic. Of course, I have to remind my fiance to be careful when he says "Shoot!" which he's picked up from me, because if he's not careful it DEFINITELY sounds like sh** lol!! He also likes to say a** which "as" in Spanish which is pronounced the same way as a** means Ace so he has no problem hearing it, whereas I never curse so to hear him say it is kinda weird

Well the fun starts tomorrow... his first day of job hunting... we'll see how it goes... I wish you two the best as although he is searching it is definitely a team effort! Thanks for responding and giving the encouragement - hopefully it won't be so hard as I thought, although any other ideas are more than welcome. We've still got a ways to go but just thinking ahead!

[S and S 12]

My husband should be getting his EAD card in the next couple weeks but he is technically authorized to work now based on the stamp on his I-94 card. He got his SSN number about a month ago but I put him in a class first so he could have some kind of US certification. He graduated yesterday from his class and plans to go out tommorow to apply for jobs. I'm not sure what kind of timeline all of this would fall in but I think he is on the right track. The hardest part for my husband is he is a medical school graduate but can't work as a doctor. For now he is willing to take whatever job he can so I thank God for that.

I'm sure each man is different on what works for him. They need at least a few weeks to a month after arrival to adjust and get the hang of things. After that it is a matter of them just trying to find work once they have authorization. The economy definitely makes things hard so what I did is search for what jobs are the most in demand. Though it is well beneath my husband's level, I saw the job with the most openings is nurse's assistant. It isn't glamorous and isn't the greatest pay, but it is a job and a step in the right direction. Try to look for what is available in your area and requires little or no training for your husband. That is my suggestion. Good luck!

What kind of class did you find for your husband? My problem is that my fiance is coming from Guatemala and did not graduate high school, he quit school at 16 to start working. He also does not speak hardly any English. Since we are going the K-1 process and will have a few months before receiving EAD, the general plan is to get GED (offered in Spanish!) and to work on learning Spanish so he can at least handle an interview, even if the actual job doesn't require a lot of English. He has only done restaurant work in Guatemala and as he lives in a tourist town, he has picked up his English that way - we always speak in Spanish but if I ask him what he ate for dinner, he almost always responds in English He has said he will do anything, sure there are jobs he prefers over others, but he wants to work ASAP. With my income as a teacher we can make it, but we really want to start saving money to have kids within a year or two Either way, any ideas for jobs for those who don't really speak English yet? BTW, glad you all here in MENA aren't against hearing from those from elsewhere

I sent my husband to a Nurse's Aid class. It cost about $1000 and is a 4 day a week class for 3 weeks. At the end of the class your certified and can get a job at a hospital or nursing home. If you do a job search in the medical field you will see there is a high demand for Nurse's aid. The pay isn't great, depending on the area it is between $7 to $12 an hour but it gets them started on something, will give a reference for later and is an easy job to get. Not only that but the job usually comes with medical benefits which is important.

[2ond journey 0]

My husband should be getting his EAD card in the next couple weeks but he is technically authorized to work now based on the stamp on his I-94 card. He got his SSN number about a month ago but I put him in a class first so he could have some kind of US certification. He graduated yesterday from his class and plans to go out tommorow to apply for jobs. I'm not sure what kind of timeline all of this would fall in but I think he is on the right track. The hardest part for my husband is he is a medical school graduate but can't work as a doctor. For now he is willing to take whatever job he can so I thank God for that.

I'm sure each man is different on what works for him. They need at least a few weeks to a month after arrival to adjust and get the hang of things. After that it is a matter of them just trying to find work once they have authorization. The economy definitely makes things hard so what I did is search for what jobs are the most in demand. Though it is well beneath my husband's level, I saw the job with the most openings is nurse's assistant. It isn't glamorous and isn't the greatest pay, but it is a job and a step in the right direction. Try to look for what is available in your area and requires little or no training for your husband. That is my suggestion. Good luck!

What kind of class did you find for your husband? My problem is that my fiance is coming from Guatemala and did not graduate high school, he quit school at 16 to start working. He also does not speak hardly any English. Since we are going the K-1 process and will have a few months before receiving EAD, the general plan is to get GED (offered in Spanish!) and to work on learning Spanish so he can at least handle an interview, even if the actual job doesn't require a lot of English. He has only done restaurant work in Guatemala and as he lives in a tourist town, he has picked up his English that way - we always speak in Spanish but if I ask him what he ate for dinner, he almost always responds in English He has said he will do anything, sure there are jobs he prefers over others, but he wants to work ASAP. With my income as a teacher we can make it, but we really want to start saving money to have kids within a year or two Either way, any ideas for jobs for those who don't really speak English yet? BTW, glad you all here in MENA aren't against hearing from those from elsewhere

I sent my husband to a Nurse's Aid class. It cost about $1000 and is a 4 day a week class for 3 weeks. At the end of the class your certified and can get a job at a hospital or nursing home. If you do a job search in the medical field you will see there is a high demand for Nurse's aid. The pay isn't great, depending on the area it is between $7 to $12 an hour but it gets them started on something, will give a reference for later and is an easy job to get. Not only that but the job usually comes with medical benefits which is important.

Thats what i am sending my husband through is a C.N.A class in May. The starting pay here is about 15-16 an hour. He could also decide if he wants to become a nurse or something else in the medical field. They are always looking for people in that field. I almost was going to send him for Phlebotomy but that takes almost a year to complete so he changed his mind. The hospital here will pay for half of your schooling if you work for them and decide to further your education. I think it might be a good start for him. I am a C.N.A , so I have told him all the about the job and what it entails.

[2ond journey 0]

My husband should be getting his EAD card in the next couple weeks but he is technically authorized to work now based on the stamp on his I-94 card. He got his SSN number about a month ago but I put him in a class first so he could have some kind of US certification. He graduated yesterday from his class and plans to go out tommorow to apply for jobs. I'm not sure what kind of timeline all of this would fall in but I think he is on the right track. The hardest part for my husband is he is a medical school graduate but can't work as a doctor. For now he is willing to take whatever job he can so I thank God for that.

I'm sure each man is different on what works for him. They need at least a few weeks to a month after arrival to adjust and get the hang of things. After that it is a matter of them just trying to find work once they have authorization. The economy definitely makes things hard so what I did is search for what jobs are the most in demand. Though it is well beneath my husband's level, I saw the job with the most openings is nurse's assistant. It isn't glamorous and isn't the greatest pay, but it is a job and a step in the right direction. Try to look for what is available in your area and requires little or no training for your husband. That is my suggestion. Good luck!

What kind of class did you find for your husband? My problem is that my fiance is coming from Guatemala and did not graduate high school, he quit school at 16 to start working. He also does not speak hardly any English. Since we are going the K-1 process and will have a few months before receiving EAD, the general plan is to get GED (offered in Spanish!) and to work on learning Spanish so he can at least handle an interview, even if the actual job doesn't require a lot of English. He has only done restaurant work in Guatemala and as he lives in a tourist town, he has picked up his English that way - we always speak in Spanish but if I ask him what he ate for dinner, he almost always responds in English He has said he will do anything, sure there are jobs he prefers over others, but he wants to work ASAP. With my income as a teacher we can make it, but we really want to start saving money to have kids within a year or two Either way, any ideas for jobs for those who don't really speak English yet? BTW, glad you all here in MENA aren't against hearing from those from elsewhere

I sent my husband to a Nurse's Aid class. It cost about $1000 and is a 4 day a week class for 3 weeks. At the end of the class your certified and can get a job at a hospital or nursing home. If you do a job search in the medical field you will see there is a high demand for Nurse's aid. The pay isn't great, depending on the area it is between $7 to $12 an hour but it gets them started on something, will give a reference for later and is an easy job to get. Not only that but the job usually comes with medical benefits which is important.

Thats what i am sending my husband through is a C.N.A class in May. The starting pay here is about 15-16 an hour. He could also decide if he wants to become a nurse or something else in the medical field. They are always looking for people in that field. I almost was going to send him for Phlebotomy but that takes almost a year to complete so he changed his mind. The hospital here will pay for half of your schooling if you work for them and decide to further your education. I think it might be a good start for him. I am a C.N.A , so I have told him all the about the job and what it entails.

Well we have had change of plans. Tariq got a job working in Walmart. He loves it so far. He comes home so tired though The way he got it was , we were shopping there and he saw a man that looked like a boss working there, from India. So he went right up to him and started talking. The man told him to use him as a reference. So he did.

The interview was so long , 2 hours .

So no need to take the C.N.A course now. I suggested though, because the hospital has better benefits, he could take the Phlebotomy class now. It's about one year long. One day a week at night for 3 hours. He seems to be adjusting well here now he just misses his family so much.

The only problem I have now is in the morning it takes so long to get him going. It's almost like having another teenager in the house getting them up for school.