The best and worst day ever was today

[prince+angel 3]

The most precious gift of all is the blessing of being a parent & your so blessed to have the opportunity to be a mom to what sounds like an extrordinary little man. Your son is such a gift from God and was placed in your hands for unconditional love & appreciation - no doubts he has all that and more as evidenced by the way you speak of him & the unwavering strong show of support from all here on MENA.

I read your message & cried for you - not at the sadness of the news and struggles that may lay ahead of you but at the strength you already possess.

The wonderful thing about children is their resiliency and your little one sounds like the kind of child who is going to surprise you with just how strong he can be.

As stated in earlier posts, they are so many advances in medical technology and I know he will benefit from all there is to offer in his area of need. My daughter wears really cool, trendy glasses (helps with adolescent girls), her dad wears bilateral hearing aides and they are so small you wouldn't even notice them. A friend of mine has a sister who was deaf and was fortunate enough to have a cochlear implant and now is able to hear her child laugh & cry!! Anything is possible.

I wish I had more to offer - please know that our heartfelt prayers, support & help are here if you need it. Many Blessing to you & your family ...Stacy & Hassen

p.s. congratulations on the home closing

[UmmSqueakster 54]

Aww girl, I wish I had some words of wisdom to offer, but all I can say is that I was picked on as a kid a lot because I was short, but in the end, I turned out pretty decent, if I do say so myself. It sucked royally for years, but looking back now, I remember the good times and laugh at the idiots bullies. inshaAllah with a great mom like you, he'll make it through

[notime4haterz 0]

Sorry to hear about your son. I just wanted to ask you to check and see if there are special schools in your area for children with different disabilities. Perhaps if he is surrounded by children who all have something "special" or different, then he will not feel so out of place.

My younger brother was born with handicaps. My parents sent him to regular public school, but we were with him there so he really wasn't alone. I think the most important thing is making him feel assured that he's not going through this alone. Also, make sure that the focus isn't always on what is wrong with him, but what is right.

Even when we were growing up, we played with my brother and my other brother used to rough him up. Our parents never said "Hey, be careful! He's delicate!" Even though he was! This allowed him to grow up and be really tough. Even now, despite his handicaps, he's very muscular, into body building and mixed martial arts. I think it's because of the constant drive by my parents to make him feel "normal" and to keep the focus away from his handicaps.

[~Jackie~ 30]

Give that little man a hug from me.

He is indeed a special guy, well beyond his years in insight. Tell him I said he is perfect and not to worry about what others say. Some kids get braces, some kids live in wheelchairs. He is sensitive, but that is what makes him Traven.

deeps breaths amal.

jJ

[Aymerlu 3]

Awww girl. I wish I could give you a big hug right now. As you know, I know what it's like to have a child with special situations and throughout the years I've also learned how special they really are and that God really has given us a precious gift. Too often I think it's me with the issues my son has. Yes, I have had my meltdowns and I still do, but that's the mom in us. God does not give us more than we can handle. Traven is a little bundle of joy and is such a joy to others. Kids adjust to situations much better than we adults do. The other day my son said "mom, I don't mind being different because it seems everything who thinks they're normal gets into trouble!" I had to giggle. Girl, your a great mom, I know this is hard, but don't let Traven see it. Travens such a smart little dude I know this won't keep him down!

[morocco4ever 63]

Wow Amal, I had no idea. This young boy has had so much to endure already in his life. I wish I had some words of comfort, but all I can say is that you were blessed with this little angel, and you were blessed with a husband that stands by you. Take care.

[caybee 21]

Amal, I feel for you and Traven. I know you want the best for him, and you don't want him facing extra difficulties, especially since he's already been through so much. You're a wonderful mom, and that will make a huge difference for him. If he has at least one great friend on his side, that will help carry him through, especially in a mainstream school setting. I know he's shy and insecure for now, but as you say, he is a very special guy, and there is no reason he can't have the life you all want for him. He's already proven himself to be quite a fighter.

I got glasses at six years old, the only kid my age at school with them at the time. If I wore them now instead of contacts, they would be true Coke-bottle lenses, nice and thick. So I can identify with that part, but glasses look SO much better now than they did when I was a kid! And you see plenty of kids on TV wearing them, which wasn't the case when I was young. Look how little girls have swooned over Harry Potter and how little boys have wanted to be him.

I love what you said about the spy gadgets! My grandmother lost her hearing completely as a small child, due to scarlet fever I think. Hearing aids helped her a tiny bit, but she was essentially completely deaf. She learned to play the violin, and she was valedictorian of her class (at a "regular" public school). She eventually ran the family business (a small-town phone company, actually). Lots of men were interested in her. The FBI tried to recruit her because she read lips so well from the front AND from the side -- that would be a fun skill for Traven to develop, when you talk about "spying." I still remember my grandmother at restaurants with us, chuckling to herself because she was "listening in" on conversations across the room, the bad girl :-) She is one of the reasons I eventually went into closed captioning, because I remember how much she loved watching "Dallas" and Lawrence Welk with her little caption decoder box that traveled with her before TVs had them built in. She had a TDD machine before those were very common (there are LOTS of cool gadgets for hearing-impaired folks now -- you know how guys like gadgets! -- and captioning is mandatory in almost all cases). I don't think she would have said she missed out on a thing in life. She was a very happy woman and made everyone around her happy.

I know you all have obstacles ahead, but I've heard what a great guy Traven is, and I am sure he will excel, with some self-confidence and the love and support of his family, which he already has in abundance. You all will be in my thoughts and prayers.

[Sandrila 1]

Aw Amal, my heart goes out to you and your husband and son.

Kids can be so cruel from this age on out and I know how your heart bleeds for your child in everyway.

You are a good mom.

It seems so unfair at times what God gives us to deal with but it is HE who will give you what you need

to endure. I pray #1 that you may find the resources to take care of your son's needs financially

and #2 have the strength to tackle this challenge with dignity.

Thanks for sharing your story with us.

As I have found this is a tremendous group of women who I feel proud to call friends.

I will pray for you and your son.

I hope in time he will adjust. Kids are way more resilient than we are.

God Bless

Edited January 23, 2009 by sandrila

[Muh and me 18]

Hugs to you both girl! If you need to talk u have my number! And congrats on the house!

[JeanneVictoria 55]

Just take care of your sweet little guy Amal and the rest will fall into place! Hugs for you sweetie.

Congrats on your house!!! Finally!!

[Nothing1234 2]

Love you babes. I sent you a text. All my love and prayers for you, Traven and Noor! Congratulations on the house!

[teenutty 0]

Hey guys n gals. Please leave this post in mena because I very seldom venture out of here and this group is where my friends are.

I am having a roller coaster of emotions today and just felt that you've all shared with me so now it's my turn to ask for some shoulders.

First off, we closed on our house today and had the electric turned on so we're ready to start cleaning it up to our liking and get our stuff moved in. yay for good stuff

Now here's the bad stuff....My son had to get glasses this past Monday. We found out that his right eye had moderate impairment and his left eye had compensated for so long that it was now mildly impaired. So he got glasses....

Then on to what happened today. Last week, he failed his hearing test at school, in both ears....TWICE... So I got him an appointment to see a hearing specialist. We go today and find out that he has moderate / severe hearing loss IN BOTH EARS and has to have hearing aids because it will only get worse as he gets older. We will go on Monday to have both of his ears molded for his new hearing aids.

This has absolutely broken our hearts. He barely hung on to life when he was diagnosed with Severe Aplastic Anemia and survived years of weekly transfusions of platelets, red blood cells, white blood cells..... and had to endure painful injections 4 times a day for what seemed like forever. Then he has these problems with his eyes so he gets glasses and is terrified of being made fun of...

Now this........ We have this issue with the schools hearing tests only to find out that he has moderate hearing loss in 1 ear and mod/severe hearing loss in his other ear and now has to have a hearing aid in both ears. He told me today that he is scared that people will call him a freak and say he must be stupid. My God, he's only 9 years old and all this has to happen...

I maintained my composure until I got him dropped off at his school and when I got home, I couldn't keep the tears back any longer. I just sat in my car with my head on the steering wheel and cried for like 10 minutes. He's not a normal kid. He's special in ways that one can only understand after they've met him. I think Jackie, Aymerlu, Gabi, Noura, MBP, VP, and anyone else that met him could vouch for that. It really is sad that he is going through all of this and even though I know I have no control over it, I still feel responsible and feel like it's my fault for giving him these bad genes. . . . ugggg

Sorry, I'm just really sad for him today and needed to vent where I felt I could get some support. My husband was super wonderful coz when he found out the situation he said to me "don't worry, we will care for this. I will put my trip to Jordan on hold to make sure that we can afford the best hearing machines that are not big and ugly for him" Even when he and I have our issues, these are the things that remind me why I love him so much. He didn't have to say that but the fact he is willing to put his life on hold for his step-son truely means the world to me.....

Thanks for letting me cry here.

Amal

First of all, how sweet of your husband for being so supportive and understanding!!!!

I had difficulties growing up too, especially in high school, was ostrasized and harrassed in the extreme (for a physical deformity). I won't say that I look back on my school years with any real fondness. In fact, I must have blanked a good portion of it out. BUT, a big BUT here, the thing that got me through my difficult times was the fact my mother did everything in her power to help me and got me an operation at 16. The love of good friends (yes, I had a few close friends in school who liked me despite my appearance) and my family was a source of strength. So my advice is build up your son's confidence any way you can. Be understanding, highlight his abilities and know that if you create a strong foundation he will overcome his adversities. In fact, challanges in our youth can make us stronger as adults.

So have a cry, it's ok. But don't lose hope or think it will be so bad.

Tina

[nunyab 0]

Amal I am so sorry and i know the heart brake that comes from your baby hurting or might be hurt in some ways. This only shows what an amazing mom you are and both are fortunate to have one another. I always go back to imagine if you didn't find this out and he continued can you imagine how bad things can be??? but Alhamdolilah you caught it in time to make things better in the long run. All in All God does things to which we don't know why and seem bad now but there is always a reason we just don't see it at this time. Alhamdolilah your son has been chosen for such a task means he is truly a "special" young man. Give him a big hug and be proud from one mother to another just take it one day at a time.

[star_dragon 0]

[amal 4]

Sorry for not replying any quicker than now. we had some "issues" with the house and had to address them pronto. This is the first time I've been online all day!!! ugggggggggg (with the exception of facebook updates on my bb!!)

You are all right when you say kids are more resiliant than adults. So far he's "ok" with it all except every once-in-a-while he'll say something like..."man I don't want to mess with ear stuff every day".

I'll gloat for a second hehe coz I was really proud of myself for coming up with the term "spy gadgets" and the fact that he took to that idea so well *pats self on back* lol

We go tomorrow to get his ears molded and whatever else they do. I calles his biological sperm donor and he said that if I'd let him know the cost of the spy gadgets, he'd help out....we'll see if that really happens or not.

Thanks for being here and showing such wonderful support to a vj'er in need. I knew that if anyone could possibly help give me a boost, it would be this group!!!

Amal