The best and worst day ever was today

[jundp 191]

Your son will almost certainly endure some hardships as well in his life, but because he has a wonderful Mom and step-dad like he does, he will survive this as well. And who knows what his "purpose" will be as a result. Maybe he will end up helping other children later in his life just like my daughter does now.

This is so very true! Raymaga, what a beautiful story for you to share. Amal, it may not always be easy, for you or for your son, but it seems as though you have the absolutely right attitude about this. I think that all of us see our children go through difficult times, from the minor ridicule (which can often hurt worse than anything) to larger issues such as what you are dealing with. We NEVER want to see our children in pain - be it emotional or physical - and the hardest part about being a parent is, I think, that we cannot intervene. But it sounds as though you are quite strong, and you are taking the right approach (spy gadgets! brilliant!) with this. I will keep you and your family in my prayers

[Henna Rose 0]

[childress_london 3]

Our prayers are with you Amal. God gave him to you for a reason, because he knew that you would be the perfect mom to help him through this. I know you must feel that you wish you could take on his burdens so he would not have to suffer in life. I have often felt that way about my own son, who has spent his childhood in and out of hospitals due to asthma. <<hug>>

[Malarie 0]

3 posts.... ???? edited to remove the 3rd

Edited January 23, 2009 by Malarie

[Malarie 0]

edited for double post.... no idea why it happened!!

Edited January 23, 2009 by Malarie

[Malarie 0]

Amal,

He is an angel and a gift from God. Obviously he is a fighter because he has been through so much in his young life!! He will be OK and glasses these days are so much better looking (almost considered cool) these days. I also believe hearing aids are so small now that it will not be very noticeable.

Always remember that God does not give someone more than they can handle. You guys will be just fine!!

You are a great mom so dont ever forget that -- he's strong because of you!!

Take care

[brnidokiegurl 0]

amal i dont know if i can find the correct words for this but why sorrow, true we hate our children go thru things but glasses can turn into contacts, hearing aids today can hardly be seen. I remember back in years, there was this one guy his glasses were the thickest ihad ever seen, not considered actually good looking but this guy was like a magnet. You couldnt help but like him and he had his own special brand of good looks, everything a girl could have wanted. Kids at first will be curious sometimes cruel but you have to tell him to be bigger, which is hard im sure. Have you ever watched movies about the kids being bullied, one day they just have to take a stand then the other kids will stop and take a second look.

He cant see you looking and acting sad, once moved, have a little get together with some friends from class, let them see what a good guy he really is. Schedule a special day for him maybe each month to invite someone for a sleepover movie etc. Make if so good others will be standing in line for their invite, Alos tell him what i told some of my gkids when they were having a problem, be who you are and all you can be dont let these other people bring you down after school chances are you will never see them again (how many of your school friends are still your friends). He still young, dont push the mommy factor ha let him be the kid he is meant to be, you know us moms do have that factor to shelter and protect what we do today becomes what they are in the future. Hope i found the correct words

[Aymsgirl 0]

Amal, first off congratulations on the house, one stress under your belt. As far as your little guy goes, he will probably do just fine. Yes, he has glasses but so many kids do and will in a few years. The hearing aids, like your hubby said he can try and find him smaller ones. Maybe they will not be so noticeable on him.

I'm not speaking lightly of this because of you being a mother and the problems that your little man has had I understand. My son, Logan, was born with a severe cleft lip and palate. He had over 400 stitches inside of his mouth during his first palate repair at 6 months. Since then he has endured 9 surgeries. He has a scar on his face, his nose is a little larger and his lip needs reconstructed again due to growth. I always told him God made you special Logan. He made you, you! He choose you to be like this to be strong for all of those beautiful little cleft lip babies that are born. You have to show them that you can and did get through this. He has only had very few issues with people saying things. He is also your son's age. He came home and said that an older boy on the bus called him scar face once. Then that started making the other kids ask for only a day, why do you have a scar on your lip? Logan was a little sad, big sister was more angry. He said I just said I had a cleft lip and palate and this is the way that God chose for me to look. I told him good answer, and then he said I went on to say hey, God made you with big feet, see?

Be strong sister! You are so lucky your son survived and you know this, you don't need me to remind you. Just thank God every day that it wasn't that awful disease that caused him problems by having to have those painful injections but it was something that could help him hear a little better and see a little better. Now you can tell him, Trav..I know you heard me!

I'm here if you ever need me. God bless you, Noor and your son!!!

Also, Raymaga, thank you for sharing your story! It sounds like your daughter had went through a lot but turned out to be so much more beautiful because of it.

[Staashi 371]

Amal, honey, I'm so sorry to hear about your son. Kids are cruel, but he will survive. You know I'm Catholic, yes...c'est moi...so I'll be praying that the Blessed Mother just wraps him up in her mantle and gives him comfort and insulation from all of this. God made him a fighter, heck in many ways, I think He made us all fighters - but sometimes we get tired of the fight and we just need a soft place to fall, and at those times I hope he feels comfort around him. Don't think I'm crazy - well maybe a little bit , but you all are in my thoughts and prayers.

Big time congrats on the house.

[polarbear 0]

Amal, Congrats on the house finally, but I am so sorry to hear about your son Being different is hard, but with your support and love he will get through the hard times.

I too had very thick glasses when I was his age, although I can't remember the exact age my eyes started shifting. I'm fairly close to being legally blind, so they were as thick as they could get even with the feather-weight super thin type. The doctors predicted I would be blind by the age of 16 (didnt happen obviously ). I also got random nose bleeds every day, even in class at school my nose would just start gushing and I had to jump up and run to the bathroom The doctors never did find out what was wrong or come up with a solution, but this went on for years. There were other things that made me different, but those were the worst two. Just before high-school I was able to get contacts and the nosebleeds started to occur less frequently, but I still remember it. In all honesty, I remember that these things happened and I have a very old friend who still remembers but I had the support of my family and I don't remember much of the bullying and hurtful remarks. Those bad parts just made me stronger and with the help of my family, more self confident both then and later in life.

The most important thing in my life has been my mother's love and knowing that she is always there for me. Be that for your son and he can get through anything

[doodlebugg 10]

Amal you are such a good mom! He will get through this and one of the reasons will be your strong love and support for him. He is very lucky to have you as a mom. I will keep him in my prayers.

[amal 4]

First off, Raymaga, your story of ur daughter was inspiring. Thank you for sharing it with us. I try to think in the same fashion so hopefully we're right and this will help him to help others one day.

I wasn't worried about the glasses as much as he was. I wear them, his biological dad wears them, so it didn't surprise me at all that he had issues. I hate that they were as severe as they were but it's ok. I'm thankful to God that we had the ability to get him taken care of when the time came.

The hearing thing though....It's tough. I know they make them smaller and that's wonderful! BUT I'm just sad that he has to have them at all. Poor little guy. He doesn't make friends well anyway and this isn't going to help him any. So far he's not appearing to be too stressed out but I think he will be when the day comes to actually wear them. We had a discussion last night about bullies and how most of the time they're just being mean coz they, themselves, are unhappy with something in their life and they think that by making others feel bad too, it will make them feel better. He agreed and said that he wouldn't let them get him down but instead he feels sorry for them coz he knows they're sad and all they are doing is showing that they need a real friend. (my boy is truely special)

Thank you everyone for sharing words to help us deal with this a little bit easier. It was as though my world was crashing in on me all at once. I appreciate you all helping to keep me sane I know, hard job, but u're all so good at it!!!

[yassmine2878 1]

noura, I may have to use that number. When he was sick it wasn't as hard coz he was young so if i cried, I could just say i was sad and he was ok. Now he's old enough to understand whats up so I have to hide that i am hurting for him. We talk about this and so far have decided his new ears will be spy gadgets so he can eaves drop on other ppl when they are whispering back and forth lol This has cheered him up some! It's when I'm alone and have time to think and reflect on all he has been through that I just break down. ugg

Thats a great way to look at it. Let him use his imagination to see he highlights of the situation. Although he's young, he is still old enough to understand the benefits of medical technology. Bless his heart. Im just thankful these issues can be addressed and he wont have to grow up growing progressively blind and deaf.

I also believe that things happen for a reason, and she would not be the lovely young woman that she is today had this experience not happened to her.

Its happening for a reason. If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it. Im praying for God to give you solace and guidance through this trial. No one wants a child to suffer, least of all his own mother. Its going to be difficult for both of you, but God will bring you through in fine shape

He is an angel and a gift from God. Obviously he is a fighter because he has been through so much in his young life!! He will be OK and glasses these days are so much better looking (almost considered cool) these days. I also believe hearing aids are so small now that it will not be very noticeable.

I was also thinking this. With the new styles and technologies, his visual and hearing aids may be barely noticeable. Who knows, perhaps the glasses will give him that scholarly look some young women love

Amal, pass my love along to Traven. When other children are cruel, remind him that are so many of us that love him and think him no less of a person just because he has physical aids. Remind him that people can be cruel and rude beause they are afraid.

[allousa 1]

Amal,

A mother's heart for her children....I don't have words to describe it. I wish all the best to your son and I think it will be no doubt that he will grow to be a strong person since he has such a strong foundation in YOU!

My heart goes out to YOU as I know usually a mother keeps her tears and sorrow from her children and it IS hard to keep that inside. Much love to you!

I hope you don't mind me suggesting a movie for you and your family to watch...if you are interested. After reading some of the other posts, this movie came to mind. It's also a favorite of mine because it touched me so deeply. The movie is called Emmanuel's Gift. It's about this young man who was born in Uganda with a deformity. What he does with that and his life transforms the WHOLE country. I just think it's an INCREDIBLE documentary of his life.

I truly wish you and your family the best.

[yassmine2878 1]

noura, I may have to use that number. When he was sick it wasn't as hard coz he was young so if i cried, I could just say i was sad and he was ok. Now he's old enough to understand whats up so I have to hide that i am hurting for him. We talk about this and so far have decided his new ears will be spy gadgets so he can eaves drop on other ppl when they are whispering back and forth lol This has cheered him up some! It's when I'm alone and have time to think and reflect on all he has been through that I just break down. ugg

Thats a great way to look at it. Let him use his imagination to see he highlights of the situation. Although he's young, he is still old enough to understand the benefits of medical technology. Bless his heart. Im just thankful these issues can be addressed and he wont have to grow up growing progressively blind and deaf.

I also believe that things happen for a reason, and she would not be the lovely young woman that she is today had this experience not happened to her.

Its happening for a reason. If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it. Im praying for God to give you solace and guidance through this trial. No one wants a child to suffer, least of all his own mother. Its going to be difficult for both of you, but God will bring you through in fine shape

He is an angel and a gift from God. Obviously he is a fighter because he has been through so much in his young life!! He will be OK and glasses these days are so much better looking (almost considered cool) these days. I also believe hearing aids are so small now that it will not be very noticeable.

I was also thinking this. With the new styles and technologies, his visual and hearing aids may be barely noticeable. Who knows, perhaps the glasses will give him that scholarly look some young women love

Amal, pass my love along to Traven. When other children are cruel, remind him that are so many of us that love him and think him no less of a person just because he has physical aids. Remind him that people can be cruel and rude beause they are afraid. They fear the same thing happening to them, and although its not right, they shun what they fear as if that would keep it from happening to them. And in some cases people just arent intelligent enough to be kind or polite, unfortunately.

If you havent already, Id show him this thread. You may wish to cut and paste some posts into an email or something. Let him know there are others who have been ridiculed as children with health problems and we turned out okay