[not.a.newbie]

dito ko na lang ipopost, for some reason, i feel at home here,

we got our marriage license yesterday, and yes, this is it, we're finally getting married, i should really be happy, its just that, there are still some few things that bother me,

during my almost two months stay here in the US, i can say that its okay overall, we had arguments which i think is just normal since we are still in that "adjustment stage," anyway, i just want to ask for some opinions,

before he met me, he was living with his now ex-wife and her daughter, or his step daughter, he lived with them for more or less 14 years, and i understand if he loves his step daughter so much, and there is nothing i can do to change that, and i wont,

okay, eto yung nagpapangitngit ng kalooban ko, he still have a "family picture" of them together around the house, and he has this photo of his step daughter pinned at the center below his monitor, his password is his step daughter's name, my computer password is his step daughter's name (for heaven's sake!) since he was the one who set it up,

i dont know, i guess im just jealous, i havent brought that topic up with him, i dont want him to think that i feel insecure or just being childish, but i am really jealous, punyeta ako nga hindi nagdidisplay ng picture ng ex ko or ng kahit anong makakapagpa alala ng ex ko eh!

im sorry but i just feel terrible, i mean, what if magkababy na kami, kelan nya pa aalisin yung mga pictures nila, pano pag lumaki yung bata at marunong ng magtanong, "nay sino sila?" at pano ko sasagutin yun? hay naku!


lapit na kami ikasal, and dont get me wrong, we love each other so much and i cant imagine myself without him, kaya lang yung mga isyung katulad nito, hindi ko lang maiwasang hindi magdamdam,

[noel_jas]

dito ko na lang ipopost, for some reason, i feel at home here,

we got our marriage license yesterday, and yes, this is it, we're finally getting married, i should really be happy, its just that, there are still some few things that bother me,

during my almost two months stay here in the US, i can say that its okay overall, we had arguments which i think is just normal since we are still in that "adjustment stage," anyway, i just want to ask for some opinions,

before he met me, he was living with his now ex-wife and her daughter, or his step daughter, he lived with them for more or less 14 years, and i understand if he loves his step daughter so much, and there is nothing i can do to change that, and i wont,

okay, eto yung nagpapangitngit ng kalooban ko, he still have a "family picture" of them together around the house, and he has this photo of his step daughter pinned at the center below his monitor, his password is his step daughter's name, my computer password is his step daughter's name (for heaven's sake!) since he was the one who set it up,

i dont know, i guess im just jealous, i havent brought that topic up with him, i dont want him to think that i feel insecure or just being childish, but i am really jealous, punyeta ako nga hindi nagdidisplay ng picture ng ex ko or ng kahit anong makakapagpa alala ng ex ko eh!

im sorry but i just feel terrible, i mean, what if magkababy na kami, kelan nya pa aalisin yung mga pictures nila, pano pag lumaki yung bata at marunong ng magtanong, "nay sino sila?" at pano ko sasagutin yun? hay naku!


lapit na kami ikasal, and dont get me wrong, we love each other so much and i cant imagine myself without him, kaya lang yung mga isyung katulad nito, hindi ko lang maiwasang hindi magdamdam,

naiintindihan kita.....kung ako din nasa situation mo i would feel the same. i think kelangan kausapin mo na lang sya. tell him how you feel. kano ba fiance mo? hindi ko kase alam pano sila mag-isip kase filipino asawa ko kaya naiintindihan nya lahat ng kapraningan ko so pag may mga issues ako sinasabi ko lahat sa kanya and he doesn't mind naman. God bless and best wishes sa kasal nyo

This post has been edited by pinoy_pinay: 22 January 2009 - 02:22 PM

[andrew&evelyn]

dito ko na lang ipopost, for some reason, i feel at home here,

we got our marriage license yesterday, and yes, this is it, we're finally getting married, i should really be happy, its just that, there are still some few things that bother me,

during my almost two months stay here in the US, i can say that its okay overall, we had arguments which i think is just normal since we are still in that "adjustment stage," anyway, i just want to ask for some opinions,

before he met me, he was living with his now ex-wife and her daughter, or his step daughter, he lived with them for more or less 14 years, and i understand if he loves his step daughter so much, and there is nothing i can do to change that, and i wont,

okay, eto yung nagpapangitngit ng kalooban ko, he still have a "family picture" of them together around the house, and he has this photo of his step daughter pinned at the center below his monitor, his password is his step daughter's name, my computer password is his step daughter's name (for heaven's sake!) since he was the one who set it up,

i dont know, i guess im just jealous, i havent brought that topic up with him, i dont want him to think that i feel insecure or just being childish, but i am really jealous, punyeta ako nga hindi nagdidisplay ng picture ng ex ko or ng kahit anong makakapagpa alala ng ex ko eh!

im sorry but i just feel terrible, i mean, what if magkababy na kami, kelan nya pa aalisin yung mga pictures nila, pano pag lumaki yung bata at marunong ng magtanong, "nay sino sila?" at pano ko sasagutin yun? hay naku!


lapit na kami ikasal, and dont get me wrong, we love each other so much and i cant imagine myself without him, kaya lang yung mga isyung katulad nito, hindi ko lang maiwasang hindi magdamdam,

hello there! First congratulations for you up coming wedding. About your issues I do really understand you. Like you my hubby had an ex too, only that they are not married but they have one son that is living with us now. Yong ex ng asawa ko merong 2 kids so before nong nagsasama pa sila minsan parang hubby ko na rin yong stepfather even though hindi sila kasal. At my mother in laws house there is this picture frame na you can put a lot of different kinds of picture, so nasa frame na yon yong pix ng ex nya with the kids..picture of them together as if they are one family. So everytime na pupunta kami don I saw it, I knew my hubby asked his mom to take off that frame away but I guess my MIL forgot about it. At first I feel jealous seeing it but later on it doesn't bother me anymore. Anyway she is just an "EX" now.

Siguro mas mabuti kung kausapin mo yong asawamo and tell him everything how you feel. Kasi mag-kaiba naman naman tayo ng mga nararamdaman about those stuff. Explain to him what is bothering you

Good Luck,

Evelyn

[blukiss24]

dito ko na lang ipopost, for some reason, i feel at home here,

we got our marriage license yesterday, and yes, this is it, we're finally getting married, i should really be happy, its just that, there are still some few things that bother me,

during my almost two months stay here in the US, i can say that its okay overall, we had arguments which i think is just normal since we are still in that "adjustment stage," anyway, i just want to ask for some opinions,

before he met me, he was living with his now ex-wife and her daughter, or his step daughter, he lived with them for more or less 14 years, and i understand if he loves his step daughter so much, and there is nothing i can do to change that, and i wont,

okay, eto yung nagpapangitngit ng kalooban ko, he still have a "family picture" of them together around the house, and he has this photo of his step daughter pinned at the center below his monitor, his password is his step daughter's name, my computer password is his step daughter's name (for heaven's sake!) since he was the one who set it up,

i dont know, i guess im just jealous, i havent brought that topic up with him, i dont want him to think that i feel insecure or just being childish, but i am really jealous, punyeta ako nga hindi nagdidisplay ng picture ng ex ko or ng kahit anong makakapagpa alala ng ex ko eh!

im sorry but i just feel terrible, i mean, what if magkababy na kami, kelan nya pa aalisin yung mga pictures nila, pano pag lumaki yung bata at marunong ng magtanong, "nay sino sila?" at pano ko sasagutin yun? hay naku!


lapit na kami ikasal, and dont get me wrong, we love each other so much and i cant imagine myself without him, kaya lang yung mga isyung katulad nito, hindi ko lang maiwasang hindi magdamdam,

HI there,

As what above posters said, talk to him! Tell him how you feel about it. If there is a picture of the ex wife and him around the house I think in my opinion that should be kept and buried but if it's just the daughter and him maybe you can just leave that there. I don't think he will be very insensitive when you guys have your own kids and when you tell him how you feel. I understand the feeling of insecurities and fine if he'll call it being childish.. To start a new beginning is to vanish all the hurtful memories of the past.. if those pictures bothers you a lot then tell him to keep them away from your sight.

I saw lots of "old" pictures here of my husband and his ex even the ones during their wedding... I just threw them away. It was long kept in the cabinet anyway so I told him I'll put them all in trash and he doesn't care. But pictures of his kids I post them all everywhere. I love them.


Best Wishes to you and have a happy married life! Speak up because if your husband is white then he needs to hear it. Some of them needs to be told first before they can realized its bothering. Enjoy and have fun on your wedding day!


By the way if you want to shout then SHOUT by all means then if he'll ask you why then start the sentiments..



Vida Taylor

This post has been edited by blukiss24: 22 January 2009 - 04:25 PM

[PhiLandShiR]

dito ko na lang ipopost, for some reason, i feel at home here,

we got our marriage license yesterday, and yes, this is it, we're finally getting married, i should really be happy, its just that, there are still some few things that bother me,

during my almost two months stay here in the US, i can say that its okay overall, we had arguments which i think is just normal since we are still in that "adjustment stage," anyway, i just want to ask for some opinions,

before he met me, he was living with his now ex-wife and her daughter, or his step daughter, he lived with them for more or less 14 years, and i understand if he loves his step daughter so much, and there is nothing i can do to change that, and i wont,

okay, eto yung nagpapangitngit ng kalooban ko, he still have a "family picture" of them together around the house, and he has this photo of his step daughter pinned at the center below his monitor, his password is his step daughter's name, my computer password is his step daughter's name (for heaven's sake!) since he was the one who set it up,

i dont know, i guess im just jealous, i havent brought that topic up with him, i dont want him to think that i feel insecure or just being childish, but i am really jealous, punyeta ako nga hindi nagdidisplay ng picture ng ex ko or ng kahit anong makakapagpa alala ng ex ko eh!

im sorry but i just feel terrible, i mean, what if magkababy na kami, kelan nya pa aalisin yung mga pictures nila, pano pag lumaki yung bata at marunong ng magtanong, "nay sino sila?" at pano ko sasagutin yun? hay naku!


lapit na kami ikasal, and dont get me wrong, we love each other so much and i cant imagine myself without him, kaya lang yung mga isyung katulad nito, hindi ko lang maiwasang hindi magdamdam,

HI there,

As what above posters said, talk to him! Tell him how you feel about it. If there is a picture of the ex wife and him around the house I think in my opinion that should be kept and buried but if it's just the daughter and him maybe you can just leave that there. I don't think he will be very insensitive when you guys have your own kids and when you tell him how you feel. I understand the feeling of insecurities and fine if he'll call it being childish.. To start a new beginning is to vanish all the hurtful memories of the past.. if those pictures bothers you a lot then tell him to keep them away from your sight.

I saw lots of "old" pictures here of my husband and his ex even the ones during their wedding... I just threw them away. It was long kept in the cabinet anyway so I told him I'll put them all in trash and he doesn't care. But pictures of his kids I post them all everywhere. I love them.


Best Wishes to you and have a happy married life! Speak up because if your husband is white then he needs to hear it. Some of them needs to be told first before they can realized its bothering. Enjoy and have fun on your wedding day!


By the way if you want to shout then SHOUT by all means then if he'll ask you why then start the sentiments..



Vida Taylor

I think the best advice here is TALK! If you do not say anything about how you feel, how will he ever know?

Speaking your feelings is so very important in any relationship.

No man wants to live in a vaccuum so always be willing to speak out about the things that bother you.

After all he is the man you fell in love with so help him to understand your world.

I am sure he will love you even more for that.

Phil

[Neptune]

dito ko na lang ipopost, for some reason, i feel at home here,

we got our marriage license yesterday, and yes, this is it, we're finally getting married, i should really be happy, its just that, there are still some few things that bother me,

during my almost two months stay here in the US, i can say that its okay overall, we had arguments which i think is just normal since we are still in that "adjustment stage," anyway, i just want to ask for some opinions,

before he met me, he was living with his now ex-wife and her daughter, or his step daughter, he lived with them for more or less 14 years, and i understand if he loves his step daughter so much, and there is nothing i can do to change that, and i wont,

okay, eto yung nagpapangitngit ng kalooban ko, he still have a "family picture" of them together around the house, and he has this photo of his step daughter pinned at the center below his monitor, his password is his step daughter's name, my computer password is his step daughter's name (for heaven's sake!) since he was the one who set it up,

i dont know, i guess im just jealous, i havent brought that topic up with him, i dont want him to think that i feel insecure or just being childish, but i am really jealous, punyeta ako nga hindi nagdidisplay ng picture ng ex ko or ng kahit anong makakapagpa alala ng ex ko eh!

im sorry but i just feel terrible, i mean, what if magkababy na kami, kelan nya pa aalisin yung mga pictures nila, pano pag lumaki yung bata at marunong ng magtanong, "nay sino sila?" at pano ko sasagutin yun? hay naku!


lapit na kami ikasal, and dont get me wrong, we love each other so much and i cant imagine myself without him, kaya lang yung mga isyung katulad nito, hindi ko lang maiwasang hindi magdamdam,

Cool... dont ruin your life with that little problem. Dont get insecure, kung ginagawa man niya yan siguro meron siyang good reasons. Why not ask him? Kasi ganito ang ginawa ko...asawa ko kasi although he dont have family picture display in our house, ang sa kanya naman napansin ko na lahat na password niya gamit pa rin ang name ng first wife niya. I m his third wife now, could you imagine he still using the same password?

So, kinausap ko siya, sabi ko how come you still using your wife name until now? Do you still love her? My hubby answered, "no" . He doesnt like to change the name because he doesnt want to create another password that he might only forget. Well, i am secure for the love he gives to me, so i let him use the name of her wife until now. Wala yan, kung mahal pa niya yan, di hinde ka sana niya papakasalan.

[jom]

If you keep your mouth shut and just sulk nothing will change so be assertive and explain to him how you feel.

[Anna and Jeff]

Hi, sorry to hear about your problem. I hope things get straightened out though personally I think TALK (like what others said) is the key. Talk with him and let him know as well your concerns. G'luck and best wishes.

[maritoni]

dito ko na lang ipopost, for some reason, i feel at home here,

we got our marriage license yesterday, and yes, this is it, we're finally getting married, i should really be happy, its just that, there are still some few things that bother me,

during my almost two months stay here in the US, i can say that its okay overall, we had arguments which i think is just normal since we are still in that "adjustment stage," anyway, i just want to ask for some opinions,

before he met me, he was living with his now ex-wife and her daughter, or his step daughter, he lived with them for more or less 14 years, and i understand if he loves his step daughter so much, and there is nothing i can do to change that, and i wont,

okay, eto yung nagpapangitngit ng kalooban ko, he still have a "family picture" of them together around the house, and he has this photo of his step daughter pinned at the center below his monitor, his password is his step daughter's name, my computer password is his step daughter's name (for heaven's sake!) since he was the one who set it up,

i dont know, i guess im just jealous, i havent brought that topic up with him, i dont want him to think that i feel insecure or just being childish, but i am really jealous, punyeta ako nga hindi nagdidisplay ng picture ng ex ko or ng kahit anong makakapagpa alala ng ex ko eh!

im sorry but i just feel terrible, i mean, what if magkababy na kami, kelan nya pa aalisin yung mga pictures nila, pano pag lumaki yung bata at marunong ng magtanong, "nay sino sila?" at pano ko sasagutin yun? hay naku!


lapit na kami ikasal, and dont get me wrong, we love each other so much and i cant imagine myself without him, kaya lang yung mga isyung katulad nito, hindi ko lang maiwasang hindi magdamdam,

Hi there,naiintindihan ko rin ang nararamdaman mo (typical filipina)but you must have to get out of your shell,try addressing the problem, handle the issue at hand..It's not a win-lose game,it's about finding a solution..
Fair fighting is always about getting your grievances out in the open, so don't hesitate! It's a way of saying, "I'm completely commited to our relationship and I won't let this problem continue." talk to him in a discreet way i know you can make it...Good luck and congratulations na rin....

[macutelit]

Alam mo dito may picture yung ex nya hindi nga nakadisplay kaya ginawa ko inayus ko pa kasi natuwa ako ng nakita ko kasama mga step kids ko and love ko mga anak ng asawa ko at love din nila ako. Well kanyakanya tayung opinyo sa buhay kausapin mo siya at ipaunawa nararamdaman mo.

[Anna and Jeff]

If he wants to look at pictures of his ex and step daughter fine. We all have memories we capture with photographs. Putting them on display in a place where you have to look at them is hurtful to you So let him know that. In every relationship there must be compromise. Talk with him and get to that point. Tell him you want to change the password on your computer or just do it yourself. That's your computer use your own password. - J

[GloriaLuvsMoto2]

hi gurl!! just take some time for both of you to sit down and talk. tell him everything para maintindihan nya and eventually maintindihan mo din yung reason nya. I understand how u feel and im sure i would feel the same way, but the thing is.. it would be healthy for a relationship pag open kayo sa isat isa. Just think on the brighter side... if you are not that important sa kanya.. youre not there for him to marry. pray that everything will be ok. Besides, dont stress up yourself too much ikaw din.. lapit na kasal mo.. ang wrinkles!!! hala ka!! hehe. Anywho, Congrats!!!

[njaxfl]

dito ko na lang ipopost, for some reason, i feel at home here,

we got our marriage license yesterday, and yes, this is it, we're finally getting married, i should really be happy, its just that, there are still some few things that bother me,

during my almost two months stay here in the US, i can say that its okay overall, we had arguments which i think is just normal since we are still in that "adjustment stage," anyway, i just want to ask for some opinions,

before he met me, he was living with his now ex-wife and her daughter, or his step daughter, he lived with them for more or less 14 years, and i understand if he loves his step daughter so much, and there is nothing i can do to change that, and i wont,

okay, eto yung nagpapangitngit ng kalooban ko, he still have a "family picture" of them together around the house, and he has this photo of his step daughter pinned at the center below his monitor, his password is his step daughter's name, my computer password is his step daughter's name (for heaven's sake!) since he was the one who set it up,

i dont know, i guess im just jealous, i havent brought that topic up with him, i dont want him to think that i feel insecure or just being childish, but i am really jealous, punyeta ako nga hindi nagdidisplay ng picture ng ex ko or ng kahit anong makakapagpa alala ng ex ko eh!

im sorry but i just feel terrible, i mean, what if magkababy na kami, kelan nya pa aalisin yung mga pictures nila, pano pag lumaki yung bata at marunong ng magtanong, "nay sino sila?" at pano ko sasagutin yun? hay naku!


lapit na kami ikasal, and dont get me wrong, we love each other so much and i cant imagine myself without him, kaya lang yung mga isyung katulad nito, hindi ko lang maiwasang hindi magdamdam,

Once i was looking around one of the rooms closets here and i happened to see an album of my husbands and his ex wedding photos and few other pics taken from that i

sland resort they got married-I felt so numb,warmed,mad and teared when i saw it-i tried to have an self explanation why those pics are still around-maybe he's keeping it just

incase thier son will ask for it when he gets older But the fact that it's hurting me,i decided to tell him about it when he called that day from work I dont keep or hide any

feelings-

whether i'm happy,sad,upset or whatsoever.I sounded so sarcastic to him when i told him what i saw and just like you-i asked him how would he feel if he found a picture of me

and my ex bf's-how would he feel.He told me he,he doesn't remember that he have kept it in that closest and doesn't even remember it's still there-coz he's never been so much

around on that closet for a long time-which makes sense to me coz it's all messed up.We agreed on taking care of that lil issue.-Actually,i forgot about that

already untill i read this post.I trully love my husband and so he does to me and my 2 kids I und how you feel coz i had felt the same way-but you'd rather talk about it to your

husband.The longer you keep it the longer you'll be in pain.

comfortable.

This post has been edited by wemissedbigdaddy: 22 January 2009 - 09:51 PM

[mRs StOcKwElL]

dito ko na lang ipopost, for some reason, i feel at home here,

we got our marriage license yesterday, and yes, this is it, we're finally getting married, i should really be happy, its just that, there are still some few things that bother me,

during my almost two months stay here in the US, i can say that its okay overall, we had arguments which i think is just normal since we are still in that "adjustment stage," anyway, i just want to ask for some opinions,

before he met me, he was living with his now ex-wife and her daughter, or his step daughter, he lived with them for more or less 14 years, and i understand if he loves his step daughter so much, and there is nothing i can do to change that, and i wont,

okay, eto yung nagpapangitngit ng kalooban ko, he still have a "family picture" of them together around the house, and he has this photo of his step daughter pinned at the center below his monitor, his password is his step daughter's name, my computer password is his step daughter's name (for heaven's sake!) since he was the one who set it up,

i dont know, i guess im just jealous, i havent brought that topic up with him, i dont want him to think that i feel insecure or just being childish, but i am really jealous, punyeta ako nga hindi nagdidisplay ng picture ng ex ko or ng kahit anong makakapagpa alala ng ex ko eh!

im sorry but i just feel terrible, i mean, what if magkababy na kami, kelan nya pa aalisin yung mga pictures nila, pano pag lumaki yung bata at marunong ng magtanong, "nay sino sila?" at pano ko sasagutin yun? hay naku!


lapit na kami ikasal, and dont get me wrong, we love each other so much and i cant imagine myself without him, kaya lang yung mga isyung katulad nito, hindi ko lang maiwasang hindi magdamdam,

As what my husband said, forget about the past, but for me NO... I did find pictures of my husband ex's, what I did, I ask him what do with those and why keeping those, he said nothing, so what I did tear all the pictures in front of him and burn. So its done...In his email add, I found some pictures and old emails too, I cleaned it without his knowledge... He knows how jealous I am coz I really told him...

Talk to your husband about it...and tell how you feel too...

Good luck!!! Best wishes!!!

[Cutie_Patootie]

I'm sorry to hear such a hoarse happening to you.
Your future husband is pretty insensitive, but it not going to end unless otherwise you do something for him to be fully aware that you are getting pissed off how attached he is to his step daughter. Yeah, let's say he loves his step daughter, but there has to be a limit now how he'd like to see memories that reminds him about his past since you are now his present.

As what others said, Sit down and talk... if you already talked to him and still doesn't work. then put your ex's picture too in your computer, which of course I don't recommend for you to do.

Just calm down.

This post has been edited by my_panacea = Greg: 23 January 2009 - 01:21 AM