An Honest Discussion About Fil/Am Relationships

[F23 0]

Question 1 - for American men: Did you seek out Filipinas through a dating agency or marriage broker, and if so, why?

Question 2 - for the Filipinas: Did you ever place an ad or set up a profile with any international dating agency or marriage broker, and if so, why?

Question 3 - for the American men: What are the differences (including physical) between your Filipina spouse and your ex-wife?

Question 5 - for the Filipinas: What are the differences (including physical, age) between your kano spouse and your last boyfriend or ex-husband?

Honest answers please.

Q2: Ans.=Yes, i placed my ad in an international dating site. Why? it's because i love to know people in different cultures and color..am not a racist kind of person.

Q5:Ans.=My last Filipino bf was 28 and my American husband now is 53. The differences are the American are more responsible when it comes to family and relationship, they are honest and can be trusted, they can handle long distance relationship than my Filipino boyfriend.

where is your question number 4?

[envy_me 18]

Please, we've all heard about those rumors and tales, and we will achieve nothing if we post them here. They will always remain rumors and tales. Will do us no good broadcasting it here. Let's try to keep the atmosphere clean and friendly. Posting rumors and tales won't help. Anyways, this is just my opinion. PEACE...

I tend to agree. some people were willing to give honest answers to why they used a dating site. this thread has remained peaceful. to me, the last two questions could just open a can of worms. they seem counterproductive to what I thought was the intent of this thread.

Well, there has been some definite 'NO's!' and so I'm curious if one, there are Fil/Am couples here who are adamantly against international dating sites, and if they have experienced negative reactions from onlookers who might have said something to the sort of, 'Mail Order Bride.'

i dnt think saying "NO!" or "hell NO" means you're against something.. IMO

for me if i said "NO or hell NO" that's cos im not just into it..

but that DOESN'T necessarily mean im against it or i think less of the people doing that..

i mean i dnt care what they do with their lives.. it's their life not mine..

as long they don't harm me.. i dnt care.. like "whatever makes them happy"..

[envy_me 18]

maybe some of the emphatic NO's were because of the perceptions that exist of some people about FilAm relationships. "looking for a ticket to USA", " mail order bride" "when guy much older than woman". I didn't use a dating site, just not my thing. for some it works, for others it doesn't.

I've experienced some of the negative reactions from people about FilAm relationships. I've choose not to let it bother me, since doubtful I could change their attitudes.

I suspect that the age gap combined with stark physical differences (large kano with petite Filipina) invite more curious onlookers than a couple who are closer in age and appearance. I agree that you can't really change people's attitudes, except perhaps friends and family. Even people at work - one question leads to another. It's a factor in these Fil/Am relationships that couples have to deal with in addition to adjustment of a new life together and new culture for her.

physical differences always stand out, im asian and my hubby is white..

so whenever we're together, there are still some nosy people who just cant help but to give a dirty look..

oh well, cant please everybody.. i just learned to live with those looks..

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Thanks for all the great responses! Hopefully, all these personal testimonies are helping dispel the myths and stereotypes, or at least help us all have a better understanding. I think we're all in agreement that we want to see everyone's marriage succeed.

[gladys 0]

Thanks for all the great responses! Hopefully, all these personal testimonies are helping dispel the myths and stereotypes, or at least help us all have a better understanding. I think we're all in agreement that we want to see everyone's marriage succeed.

Mr Fancy Pants, I like reading your thread. I didn't have the chance to answer this questions yet coz I'm waiting for you to answer the questions or share your own story here.

Will you be able to share yours too?

Thanks!!

[gladys 0]

*Question 1 - for American men: Did you seek out Filipinas through a dating agency or marriage broker, and if so, why?

My husband did not.

Question 2 - for the Filipinas: Did you ever place an ad or set up a profile with any international dating agency or marriage broker, and if so, why?

I did not join any dating sites.

Question 3 - for the American men: What are the differences (including physical) between your Filipina spouse and your ex-wife?

The ex-GF of my husband is also a Filipina raised in US and he did not like the attitude of American girls including the Americanized Filipinas. I'm taller than her, she is petite. I am nice but she is nicer according to my husband but he fell in love with me. Besides he like my being "suplada"/maldita" side. My husband has a lot of Filipino friends that's why he was exposed to Filipinos. And that is why he wanted to visit the Philippines and experience the Filipino culture first hand. He visited PH 3 times. First with his friends and second to live there for 7 months. That is the time we met and the 3rd time is to meet my family.

Question 5 - for the Filipinas: What are the differences (including physical, age) between your kano spouse and your last boyfriend or ex-husband?

My husband is much taller than my ex and more honest aside from other things. Filipino men, sorry if I will generalized this, are mostly BS's. They just wanted to say things that make girls happy which is also great at times but not all the time. Most Filipinos has still the macho attitude of collecting girlfriends even they are married already. I can say this because I have a lot of male friends and that's what they do most of the time.

Honest answers please.

I answered it in a very honest way possible.

Question 6 - for the American men who didn't meet their Filipina spouse through a dating service or marriage broker, what stories or rumors had you heard about those sites and the kinds of Filipinas you'd find?

This is not from my husband's opinion but from other Foreigner that I know. I work in a call center in PH and my boss is an American looking for love. He thinks that Filipinas that he he had dated have a lot of expectations from him. They expect him to pay all the time, give her allowance. Spend money for her family etc.. etc.... He said that Filipinas expect them to be filthy rich based on the color of their skin. Which is funny but also true for some cases. But fortunately now, he already found one decent Filipina.

Question 7 - for the Filipinas who didn't join a dating service or marriage broker, what stories or rumors had you heard about the kinds of men you'd find that way?

I just think that most men in a dating service are just plainly shy to approach women face to face and they prefer a get to know the girls firsts before really dating them or they are old men looking for someone who will take care of them or whom they can spend the rest of their lives.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Mr Fancy Pants, I like reading your thread. I didn't have the chance to answer this questions yet coz I'm waiting for you to answer the questions or share your own story here.

Will you be able to share yours too?

Thanks!!

Fair enough.

Question 1 - for American men: Did you seek out Filipinas through a dating agency or marriage broker, and if so, why?

I did not meet my wife through a dating agency, but I had joined one (Cherryblossoms) about 2 years before meeting my wife, conversed with several 'penpals' in various countries and decided to go and meet one in person. The time together was a disaster but I got to spend time with a pinoy/pinay couple who were friends of the girl I came to meet, and they became good friends of mine. I continued to keep in contact with them and they later introduced me to my wife while I was chatting with them online via webcam. I really didn't think much more of the chance meeting until several months later, when looking at my friend's account on Friendster, I saw the name, Jinky - which was hard to forget. I just sent her an message asking her if she remembered me and that's how it all started... Prior to that, I had used Match.com and Lavalife - and went on many dates with local women, even had a serious relationship with one. I just didn't have any hang-ups about the concept of meeting people online.

Question 2 - for the Filipinas: Did you ever place an ad or set up a profile with any international dating agency or marriage broker, and if so, why?

My wife's at work - but no, she never belonged to one and her family frowned on the idea of doing so. She was a dentist with her own clinic back in Cebu before we met....sold her clinic and gave up practicing dentistry, left her family, and all her close friends, just to be here with me.

Question 3 - for the American men: What are the differences (including physical) between your Filipina spouse and your ex-wife?

My ex-wife was hispanic and tall - 5'10" - so Jinky won't kill me....she looks nothing like my ex-wife - she's about 5'5". My ex is a year older than me, Jinky is 11 yrs. younger.

Here's a picture of her and my stepson from 1989.

Question 5 - for the Filipinas: What are the differences (including physical, age) between your kano spouse and your last boyfriend or ex-husband?

Sorry...wife's not here and I cannot answer because I've never asked what he looked like. He was pinay.

Edited December 31, 2008 by Mister Fancypants

[~bLairwhich~ 0]

My Husband did not seek nor sign any dating agency etc.

We met online but at Skype..without intent..we're both Skype users because it's cheap way of calling overseas. SkypeMe mode started it all....

He never been married before but was engaged to a Chinese-American girl and that's when he began to appreciate Asian beauty.

I had a boyfriend who is tall, fair skin and I can say good looking...quite similar.

But then, my last bf, he's exact opposite.

About rumors....both me and my husband doesn't hear one or anything I can remember right now

Edited December 31, 2008 by ~bLairwhich~

[envy_me 18]

He was pinay.

u mean PINOY!?

pinay = girl, pinoy = guy..

[one...two...tree 2,762]

He was pinay.

u mean PINOY!?

pinay = girl, pinoy = guy..

hey, for all the times I've had to hear Filipinas mix he with she, I get a free pass on that mistake.

[envy_me 18]

He was pinay.

u mean PINOY!?

pinay = girl, pinoy = guy..

hey, for all the times I've had to hear Filipinas mix he with she, I get a free pass on that mistake.

since it's new year.. yeah pass..

but

PS:

pinoy can also be a girl.. pinoy refers to the filipino people..

but a guy can never be a pinay, unless he wants to be one..

.

Edited January 1, 2009 by envy_me

[one...two...tree 2,762]

He was pinay.

u mean PINOY!?

pinay = girl, pinoy = guy..

hey, for all the times I've had to hear Filipinas mix he with she, I get a free pass on that mistake.

since it's new year.. yeah pass..

but

PS:

pinoy can also be a girl.. pinoy refers to the filipino people..

but a guy can never be a pinay, unless he wants to be one..

.

Ohhh...I remember there's a lot of them in the PI.

[gladys 0]

He was pinay.

u mean PINOY!?

pinay = girl, pinoy = guy..

hey, for all the times I've had to hear Filipinas mix he with she, I get a free pass on that mistake.

Thanks for sharing your story.. and for the last statement.. I plead guilty for that.....my husband always correct me.. I just can't help it....

Happy New Year everyone!!!

[RIDION 0]

Question 1 - for American men: Did you seek out Filipinas through a dating agency or marriage broker, and if so, why?

He signed up for catholic dating sites, looking for a soulmate but not specifically Pinay; nevertheless, he got me.

Question 2 - for the Filipinas: Did you ever place an ad or set up a profile with any international dating agency or marriage broker, and if so, why?

My bestfriend set up my profile after having enough of my company at the college of nursing. As I found out, there's something for catholics from the same site and as I am 1, I transferred my profile...

Question 3 - for the American men: What are the differences (including physical) between your Filipina spouse and your ex-wife?

According to my husband, I am much more a romantic who can cook & cares about him, unfortunately, stubborn, too. Physically, his ex & me are approximately of the same age, height & weight; the differences are I'm tanned, toned & younger-looking.

Question 5 - for the Filipinas: What are the differences (including physical, age) between your kano spouse and your last boyfriend or ex-husband?

Aside from being drop dead gorgeous, 49 years old, my husband has a big heart and we are equally yoked while my Japanese 43 years old ex-fiance is the exact opposite.

Honest answers please.

X my hope to die

[Gumbolette 58]

hmm... Would you mind answering your post Mr. Fancy Pants??