Married to a Nigerian and still together?

[WhidbeyGirl 1]

Ask to hear God's voice when you pray. Pray for unbiased guidance. Ask Him to show you His plan for your life. Ask Him for revelation about your relationship with your SO.

{thats what HE does when you ask for clarity and inclination to HIS will and not your own}and BLOCKING IT ALL so that I would not fall

All praises be to God Most High

Our trains run on the same track Uno!

[babynursetobe 0]

WOW, I can't believe how far this thread has gone. This was not my intention when I started it and now I'm not so sure it was such a good idea. Some have made assumptions about me and my husband that are totally incorrect, but I'm not going to waste my time justifying my relationship. I'm sure it would just be a waste of time.

[Enlighten one :) 5]

My husband is from Nigeria. He is the most honest, honorable, considerate, and devoted person I know.

Hey now take it easy....that is NOT cool. Not all Nigerians are scammers, that is like saying all Americans are stupid. Lets take it easy and remember TOS please.

Or, just avoid Nigerians altogether?? A few have settled here in the boondocks and soon show that they can't be trusted in one way or another. That's not a good thing.

Even asking the question to begin with invited my kind of response, based entirely on personal experience and the experiences of others in this general community. I'm not given to stereotypes but one needs to be extra alert in befriending anyone now living in Nigeria.

[Simply_Uno 1]

WOW, I can't believe how far this thread has gone. This was not my intention when I started it and now I'm not so sure it was such a good idea. Some have made assumptions about me and my husband that are totally incorrect, but

I'm not going to waste my time justifying my relationship.

I'm sure it would just be a waste of time.

{and you dont have to!}

Hello BabyN2Be,

I know you are not familiar with me, but my comment was in no way directed towards you or your personal situation. My statement was a spring board from what Sylvia stated, I agreed with what she stated whole-heartedly, and expounded upon that. I can't tell no ones story but mine and I am not here to judge, that is NOT my duty.

Forgive me if I have offended you and yours

[babynursetobe 0]

Oh no worries......its okay. I'm sure I just took it the wrong way. I was just kind of suprised in the direction the post had gone since I had originally posted my question, but I guess that's the chance you take when you put something out there for all to put their two cents in.......

[NigerLA 1]

Idocare thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences with everyone. Although, I rarely post in this forum, I love stopping by to read the comments.

Right now marriage statistics in the U.S say that one in every two marriages ends in divorce. So regardless of what nationality your spouse is from, those odds speak tell the story. Whether you are married to a Nigerian, American, Canadian or anyone else relationships are always built on trust.

As a Nigerian man, it breaks my heart to read about the acts of my fellow Nigerians. However, not all men act the same way or with similar intentions. “Love conquers all” and I would strongly suggest that you get to know your spouses or fiancé and his or her family very well before marriage. I wish I could list tell tale signs of fraud or other signs to tip you off, but I don’t know any.

The only advice I can give anyone here is getting your spouse connected to people outside the typical Nigerian network. My dad always says “Show me your friends and I will tell you who you are.” Which might be your most difficult task will help insulate him from bad advice from his so called friends.

Not to say my marriage is perfect, but I cannot imagine under any circumstance leaving my wife. My wife has not worked in over a year because she was studying for the bar examination here in New York. It has not been easy, but The Lord blessed me with a great job and I have been able to support her and encourage her throughout the process and passed the NYS bar exam in November. I have not pressured her to find a job, because in God’s time all these things work out. I still do the laundry, clean the house and do everything else without being told because that is what love does.

My wife has met several of my Nigerian friends, (I don’t have many) and they are all married to Americans. With beautiful kids and have great relationships with their in-laws. Not one of them is divorced and they are all successful professionals in their respective fields. I think taking time to know the person and individual before making these decisions is the most important thing. It took me sixteen months to propose to my wife and another year before the wedding. We both wanted to make sure that this person was the one, because you really only get one chance to get this right regardless of the person’s nationality.

I love this forum and please keep sharing your thoughts. God bless.

[Naijabound 1]

Right now marriage statistics in the U.S say that one in every two marriages ends in divorce. So regardless of what nationality your spouse is from, those odds speak tell the story. Whether you are married to a Nigerian, American, Canadian or anyone else relationships are always built on trust.

As a Nigerian man, it breaks my heart to read about the acts of my fellow Nigerians. However, not all men act the same way or with similar intentions. “Love conquers all” and I would strongly suggest that you get to know your spouses or fiancé and his or her family very well before marriage. I wish I could list tell tale signs of fraud or other signs to tip you off, but I don’t know any.

The only advice I can give anyone here is getting your spouse connected to people outside the typical Nigerian network. My dad always says “Show me your friends and I will tell you who you are.” Which might be your most difficult task will help insulate him from bad advice from his so called friends.

Not to say my marriage is perfect, but I cannot imagine under any circumstance leaving my wife. My wife has not worked in over a year because she was studying for the bar examination here in New York. It has not been easy, but The Lord blessed me with a great job and I have been able to support her and encourage her throughout the process and passed the NYS bar exam in November. I have not pressured her to find a job, because in God’s time all these things work out. I still do the laundry, clean the house and do everything else without being told because that is what love does.

My wife has met several of my Nigerian friends, (I don’t have many) and they are all married to Americans. With beautiful kids and have great relationships with their in-laws. Not one of them is divorced and they are all successful professionals in their respective fields. I think taking time to know the person and individual before making these decisions is the most important thing. It took me sixteen months to propose to my wife and another year before the wedding. We both wanted to make sure that this person was the one, because you really only get one chance to get this right regardless of the person’s nationality.

I love this forum and please keep sharing your thoughts. God bless.

Thank you NigerLA for you comments. They are much appreciated and in my opinion I think more along the lines of what the poster was inquiring about.

[idocare 3]

NigerLA,

Thanks for taking the time to post. As you can see on my signature that I've been around here for a while. My professional husband scammed me. Your situation probably had no bearing on the scammer mentality.

Although he's a professional and choice this route to enter America has nothing to do with you and your situation. Actually I feel if many more Africans would just Marry without the drama of already being married; or having a fiance, life would be better for the American sponsor as well as the Alien.

As you already know NigerLA., many are lookin out for themselves; especially if they are still in Nigeria. Everybody wants a better life for their family.

[edmondson 0]

Idocare thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences with everyone. Although, I rarely post in this forum, I love stopping by to read the comments.

Right now marriage statistics in the U.S say that one in every two marriages ends in divorce. So regardless of what nationality your spouse is from, those odds speak tell the story. Whether you are married to a Nigerian, American, Canadian or anyone else relationships are always built on trust.

As a Nigerian man, it breaks my heart to read about the acts of my fellow Nigerians. However, not all men act the same way or with similar intentions. “Love conquers all” and I would strongly suggest that you get to know your spouses or fiancé and his or her family very well before marriage. I wish I could list tell tale signs of fraud or other signs to tip you off, but I don’t know any.

The only advice I can give anyone here is getting your spouse connected to people outside the typical Nigerian network. My dad always says “Show me your friends and I will tell you who you are.” Which might be your most difficult task will help insulate him from bad advice from his so called friends.

Not to say my marriage is perfect, but I cannot imagine under any circumstance leaving my wife. My wife has not worked in over a year because she was studying for the bar examination here in New York. It has not been easy, but The Lord blessed me with a great job and I have been able to support her and encourage her throughout the process and passed the NYS bar exam in November. I have not pressured her to find a job, because in God’s time all these things work out. I still do the laundry, clean the house and do everything else without being told because that is what love does.

My wife has met several of my Nigerian friends, (I don’t have many) and they are all married to Americans. With beautiful kids and have great relationships with their in-laws. Not one of them is divorced and they are all successful professionals in their respective fields. I think taking time to know the person and individual before making these decisions is the most important thing. It took me sixteen months to propose to my wife and another year before the wedding. We both wanted to make sure that this person was the one, because you really only get one chance to get this right regardless of the person’s nationality.

I love this forum and please keep sharing your thoughts. God bless.

Preach it Bro,we as Nigerian's have been seen as the most corrupt nation on earth due to the behavior of few,but i am very delighted to read your sound and encouraging views of the reality.Keep up the good work and let those who want to continue to see the few bad ones continue to do so.

[taurean 0]

Idocare thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences with everyone. Although, I rarely post in this forum, I love stopping by to read the comments.

Right now marriage statistics in the U.S say that one in every two marriages ends in divorce. So regardless of what nationality your spouse is from, those odds speak tell the story. Whether you are married to a Nigerian, American, Canadian or anyone else relationships are always built on trust.

As a Nigerian man, it breaks my heart to read about the acts of my fellow Nigerians. However, not all men act the same way or with similar intentions. “Love conquers all” and I would strongly suggest that you get to know your spouses or fiancé and his or her family very well before marriage. I wish I could list tell tale signs of fraud or other signs to tip you off, but I don’t know any.

The only advice I can give anyone here is getting your spouse connected to people outside the typical Nigerian network. My dad always says “Show me your friends and I will tell you who you are.” Which might be your most difficult task will help insulate him from bad advice from his so called friends.

Not to say my marriage is perfect, but I cannot imagine under any circumstance leaving my wife. My wife has not worked in over a year because she was studying for the bar examination here in New York. It has not been easy, but The Lord blessed me with a great job and I have been able to support her and encourage her throughout the process and passed the NYS bar exam in November. I have not pressured her to find a job, because in God’s time all these things work out. I still do the laundry, clean the house and do everything else without being told because that is what love does.

My wife has met several of my Nigerian friends, (I don’t have many) and they are all married to Americans. With beautiful kids and have great relationships with their in-laws. Not one of them is divorced and they are all successful professionals in their respective fields. I think taking time to know the person and individual before making these decisions is the most important thing. It took me sixteen months to propose to my wife and another year before the wedding. We both wanted to make sure that this person was the one, because you really only get one chance to get this right regardless of the person’s nationality.

I love this forum and please keep sharing your thoughts. God bless.

Honestly, yours is one of the most encouraging posts I have read in this forum in quite a while. The way that you have described supporting your wife is very admirable. Send congrats to your wife for passing the bar!!

In order to be informed and to learn we need to hear the good AND the bad experiences. So I am always interested to hear it all, whether positive or negative. As you (NigerLA) stated above, marriages can crumble for various reasons. And as such, everyone should have a voice here, whether their marriage has worked or not. However it is nice to hear from those who are acutally making it work. It is especially encouraging to hear from a man about how he has made the adjustment. So thanks for writing your experiences here.

[Perseverance 1]

Idocare thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences with everyone. Although, I rarely post in this forum, I love stopping by to read the comments.

Right now marriage statistics in the U.S say that one in every two marriages ends in divorce. So regardless of what nationality your spouse is from, those odds speak tell the story. Whether you are married to a Nigerian, American, Canadian or anyone else relationships are always built on trust.

As a Nigerian man, it breaks my heart to read about the acts of my fellow Nigerians. However, not all men act the same way or with similar intentions. “Love conquers all” and I would strongly suggest that you get to know your spouses or fiancé and his or her family very well before marriage. I wish I could list tell tale signs of fraud or other signs to tip you off, but I don’t know any.

The only advice I can give anyone here is getting your spouse connected to people outside the typical Nigerian network. My dad always says “Show me your friends and I will tell you who you are.” Which might be your most difficult task will help insulate him from bad advice from his so called friends.

Not to say my marriage is perfect, but I cannot imagine under any circumstance leaving my wife. My wife has not worked in over a year because she was studying for the bar examination here in New York. It has not been easy, but The Lord blessed me with a great job and I have been able to support her and encourage her throughout the process and passed the NYS bar exam in November. I have not pressured her to find a job, because in God’s time all these things work out. I still do the laundry, clean the house and do everything else without being told because that is what love does.

My wife has met several of my Nigerian friends, (I don’t have many) and they are all married to Americans. With beautiful kids and have great relationships with their in-laws. Not one of them is divorced and they are all successful professionals in their respective fields. I think taking time to know the person and individual before making these decisions is the most important thing. It took me sixteen months to propose to my wife and another year before the wedding. We both wanted to make sure that this person was the one, because you really only get one chance to get this right regardless of the person’s nationality.

I love this forum and please keep sharing your thoughts. God bless.

[Preach it Bro]we as Nigerian's have been seen as the most corrupt nation on earth due to the behavior of few,but i am very delighted to read your sound and encouraging views of the reality.Keep up the good work and let those who want to continue to see the few bad ones continue to do so.

Its about time some Niergian men came in here to defend the honor of Nigerian men

[idocare 3]

Readers,

I hope you all read NigerLA post. I got two very important points out of it.

1) They are BOTH Professionals

2) They dated a while before becoming engaged; then waited another year to marry.

They didn't do the internet rush me into America thing.

It's always refreshing to hear of successful interminglings. Thanks for sharing. Over the years what I'm finding is that Aliens usually marry twice if not more. They marry the one that they scammed to get here; then they set out to either marry/ re-marry there

real pick.

Even some from other countries won't look in their own country for love for the fear of being scammed by their own. In any thought; we all just need to really get to know the person and their friends.

I hope to read more from people that Married years ago and are still together with their husband/wife.

I don't think any has posted, I could be wrong; I didn't read this entire thread.

[Perseverance 1]

Readers,

I hope you all read NigerLA post. I got two very important points out of it.

1) They are BOTH Professionals

2) They dated a while before becoming engaged; then waited another year to marry.

They didn't do the internet rush me into America thing.

It's always refreshing to hear of successful interminglings. Thanks for sharing. Over the years what I'm finding is that Aliens usually marry twice if not more. They marry the one that they scammed to get here; then they set out to either marry/ re-marry there

real pick.

Even some from other countries won't look in their own country for love for the fear of being scammed by their own. In any thought; we all just need to really get to know the person and their friends.

I hope to read more from people that Married years ago and are still together with their husband/wife.

I don't think any has posted, I could be wrong; I didn't read this entire thread.

We are here you dont have to look far. The reason you dont find many people posting is because people move on from VJ after thier SOs get here. However sometimes they come back for a quick shout out and to share some good news. There are plenty of couples with Nigerian roots that are still together. Conduct a member search for those whos SOs come from Nigeria and do the research you can find them, they are there, read thier stories. A few I can think of are Sweetee, WHAT DA??, felshen, MollyandStephen, alyce, and Boaz. Dont let the lack of response fool you. There are other couples around, just because they dont remain on VJ does not mean that they dont keep in touch with other members

My husband and I have been together since 2004 and in no way rushed to get married. Our second anniversary is 2\16\09. I know there are plenty of others who have just passed or are also coming up on thier 2 year anniversary.

The truth is no one knows the real and truthful intimate details of relationships except the 2 who are in it. People can guess and speculate all they want but the reality is no one else will know the true details, only the 2 who are participating in the relationship. The bottom line is a healthy happy relationship does not just happen on its own, it takes work and nurturing and growth from both parties, no matter where either one of them are from.

This thread is getting redundant. Babynursetobe, I think that you have plenty of information here to make an adult decision about your relationship.

P

[edmondson 0]

Readers,

I hope you all read NigerLA post. I got two very important points out of it.

1) They are BOTH Professionals

2) They dated a while before becoming engaged; then waited another year to marry.

They didn't do the internet rush me into America thing.

It's always refreshing to hear of successful interminglings. Thanks for sharing. Over the years what I'm finding is that Aliens usually marry twice if not more. They marry the one that they scammed to get here; then they set out to either marry/ re-marry there

real pick.

Even some from other countries won't look in their own country for love for the fear of being scammed by their own. In any thought; we all just need to really get to know the person and their friends.

I hope to read more from people that Married years ago and are still together with their husband/wife.

I don't think any has posted, I could be wrong; I didn't read this entire thread.

We are here you dont have to look far. The reason you dont find many people posting is because people move on from VJ after thier SOs get here. However sometimes they come back for a quick shout out and to share some good news. There are plenty of couples with Nigerian roots that are still together. Conduct a member search for those whos SOs come from Nigeria and do the research you can find them, they are there, read thier stories. A few I can think of are Sweetee, WHAT DA??, felshen, MollyandStephen, alyce, and Boaz. Dont let the lack of response fool you. There are other couples around, just because they dont remain on VJ does not mean that they dont keep in touch with other members

My husband and I have been together since 2004 and in no way rushed to get married. Our second anniversary is 2\16\09. I know there are plenty of others who have just passed or are also coming up on thier 2 year anniversary.

The truth is no one knows the real and truthful intimate details of relationships except the 2 who are in it. People can guess and speculate all they want but the reality is no one else will know the true details, only the 2 who are participating in the relationship. The bottom line is a healthy happy relationship does not just happen on its own, it takes work and nurturing and growth from both parties, no matter where either one of them are from.

This thread is getting redundant. Babynursetobe, I think that you have plenty of information here to make an adult decision about your relationship.

P

I strongly agree with your points,the fact is that most people who come to vj some times are being scared away with some of the negative attackes that are being melted out by few vj members.

I think that this should be a forum that will uplift each one of us rather than tearing down,in life we can not be sure of every thing and if we have the ability to see the future then there will never be a problem in the world,as a nigerian i kind of understand the pains and stress that some vj members had gone through being dumped by thier partner once they arrive or once they get there green card.

I my self have been engaged with my fiance for 2 year+.and it has not been an easy ride it has been an avenue to knowing each other b4 we commit our selves to marriage,she is currently living with me in Nigeria and we are very happy together although am the only one working to provide except for the few times that her parents do send her money.We are taking it slow but steady,i don"t know what our relationship will be like if eventually we move to America,why am saying this is because she has seen this part of me but i have not seen the other side of her{America}.

We are determined to to work together for the benefit of us,bearing in mind that we only have ourselves to lose.I urge those in pain to try to move on there are better times ahead,dwelling on the past does not help the future,not that we have to ignore the past but it should be a guide to the future.

[idocare 3]

I don't think Babenurse was lookin to make a decision. She was merely seekin other

married couples that were still together. they don't have to be happy; but sitll marreid

Oh, the topic Nigerian; she was seekin Nigerian couples I think; if I wrong

Babynurse3be let me know.