If you had known then what you know now??

[Nothing1234 2]

I think having some support is important. Other friends to help you out when you might be working (family too, if you have them around). Finding them hobbies or friends to hook up with quickly, while waiting to find a job some things to do at home so he's not bored outta his bean, having calling cards on hand so he can call home, a nice basket of new things for him (toiletries, towels, flipflops, some new duds, his own keys, maybe his own mug/cup, etc) Things that make him feel its his home too and that he his "own" things. And I can't even begin to tell you how awesome the Magic Jack is...we love it! Now that my MIL is here its a blessing too!!

Other things to get ready for is finding places that you can get foods he will like, scope areas out to purchase things to cook or to eat out whichever you have the income for. Things that will make him feel at home.

I'm sure all will be wonderful Rajaa! I didn't run into any issues with the underwear as you mentioned...only in Jordan! LOL They will not put underwear in the same laundry as the clothing but no one seperated men/women underwear out (that would make for a LONG day of washing!!!).

[nunyab 0]

ok..

own keys

own mug

own slippers

magic jack

cell phone (g-1)

I am going to clean out half the closet and put some things he would like here that will help in the NW..

i already cook Halal and looking for friends he can hang with.

yes i am stressed and excited... i can't imagine seperating the clothes i can barely stand seperating the colors and whites as it is!

[Nothing1234 2]

ok..

own keys

own mug

own slippers

magic jack

cell phone (g-1)

I am going to clean out half the closet and put some things he would like here that will help in the NW..

i already cook Halal and looking for friends he can hang with.

yes i am stressed and excited... i can't imagine seperating the clothes i can barely stand seperating the colors and whites as it is!

If it were me and that was the hubbys request...I'd tell him sure thing babe, place your underwear in "this basket" and wash ur own drawzzz!!

[idocare 3]

Congrats on your spouse's arrival

First thing I did for him was cook him food the way he enjoyed it . Nigerian style.

[doodlebugg 10]

I found a few flea markets that he could go to so he could haggle to his heart's content. Big help since he missed bargaining all the time with the peeps in Cairo.

I got him a T-pass which allowed him unlimited number of trips on the bus and subway along with a map. That helped him and within 3 days he was navigating the subway system better than me and I've lived here all my life! It made him not feel trapped you know?

We went to three mosques in the beginning so he could find the one he liked the best. That helped immensely as well.

[nunyab 0]

ok..

own keys

own mug

own slippers

magic jack

cell phone (g-1)

I am going to clean out half the closet and put some things he would like here that will help in the NW..

i already cook Halal and looking for friends he can hang with.

yes i am stressed and excited... i can't imagine seperating the clothes i can barely stand seperating the colors and whites as it is!

If it were me and that was the hubbys request...I'd tell him sure thing babe, place your underwear in "this basket" and wash ur own drawzzz!!

and mine knows i would mean it too.

[True Love at Last 15]

Prepare him now for how it REALLY is here in the United States....People can be cruel especially to Muslims and it may take alot of time for him to find a good job.....Make him feel needed and reassure him things will always get better....Keep in touch with his family and friends as much as possible....Get arab channels for him to watch or introduce him to youtube...He can watch all his arab shows there for free.....He will get arabic speaking crazy if he doesnt speak/hear it everyday!LOL Independence is a BIG issue with Arab men....Great advice about busses, cars, maps, etc....Start him with all the basic information he needs: address, phone numbers, emergency contacts, etc.....Make sure you get him a driver's education book to read our road rules, this will help him when he can get a DL here......Show him your local Mosque and be sure you make time in your schedule so that he can attend on Fridays... As time goes you will get to know him much better.....with his new adjustment there will always be some spats....just remember to put yourself in his shoes first ....calm down...and then deal with the issue at hand....he doesnt realize how much the move will actually effect him, but it Will get easier....BE SURE to show him how to establish credit and keep it good...this is very important.

I could go on and on as Im sure we all could, each man is different but they are also very much alike !

[morocco4ever 63]

Food was a big issue for us. My husband missed the cooking from his country. In time he has discovered new favorites.

[amal 4]

food was and is still a major issue in our household. If yours has issues with food at all...let him know that you are ready to help make whatever kind of food he would like and you could even take him to the grocery store so he can help pick out the ingredients.

I had mine have his mom and sisters write down alllllllllll the recipes they could think of that he liked. I made sure to tell him to get the recipes for his most favorite dishes so we could prepare them like his mama did. That recipe book came in really handy many times since nobody cooks like mama! lol.... Also, since the recipes were in arabic, it gave us something we would do together. he would translate and I'd prepare. sometimes he'd have to show me coz he didn't know the english word for stuff. it was very interesting but created very fond moments.

OHHH and another thing...I wish i would have waited a week or so before introducing him to my family. I should have let him become a little bit more comfortable in our home and then slowly invited my family a couple at a time to the house to meet him in his own territory. It would have helped him feel more relaxed. He also wouldn't have told my mother that her house needed to be organized....

Edited December 28, 2008 by amal

[KHPerfectMatch 1]

Since you are Muslim do you have friends that have hubby's that he could hang out with? I know that most of my friends husbands are too busy with work, etc. to hang out PERIOD, and since we are older and past our child rearing age that most of the men his age have been here forever and can't even remember being new.

Helping him fine a friend who speaks arabic and enjoys hanging out and can introduce him to others is probably the biggest thing I wish I could have done differently for my hubby. Most of the Egyptians in my community are pals with my ex (who is still here) so that made things awkward... (sure enough he got invited to coffee and my ex was at his table!) But it all went well so now he has a coffee shop to go to where arabs hang out.

However he has almost given up talking to people he meets because so many take his number and say they will call and never do. Wish you weren't 3 hours up the I-5 or your hubby could hang with mine!

We met a really nice Egyptian man at the Old Country Buffet in Bellevue (he's the manager), but alas too far away...

If your husband is religious a mosque with arabs (as opposed to an Indo-Paki or Somali) mosque is a good place to start. But that has problems associated with it too these days...

K

[Muh and me 18]

I know that mine likes to hand wash alot of his clothes. Says the wash machine don't do a good enough job. and he hates the sound of the dryer.

[Berber Mama 5]

How's his English?

If its not up to par you might want to insist he take some ESL classes. I wish that I had made my husband take some during the time before he started working. He struggled so much and lost a lot of his independence the first year because of it. He couldn't go anywhere without someone to translate, make phone calls, etc.

[KHPerfectMatch 1]

I know that mine likes to hand wash alot of his clothes. Says the wash machine don't do a good enough job. and he hates the sound of the dryer.

For my husband its the dishes.. doesn't want to use the dishwasher... would rather do them by hand... (says he's bored and has to have something to do!)

What I can't figure out is why he washes dishes in lukewarm water and a sponge that's been dipped in soapy COLD water... but wants me to boil his underwear!!! Hellooooooooooooooooooooo we don't EAT on the undies.. we do on the dishes! Maybe it comes from writing backwards... hehehehehehehe

[Berber Mama 5]

What I can't figure out is why he washes dishes in lukewarm water and a sponge that's been dipped in soapy COLD water... but wants me to boil his underwear!!! Hellooooooooooooooooooooo we don't EAT on the undies.. we do on the dishes! Maybe it comes from writing backwards... hehehehehehehe

That reminded me of how my husband used to wash his dishes with Tide in Morocco. Tee hee.

Do Egyptians do the same thing?

[nunyab 0]

lol...love the undeerwear versus disheses thing.

well i have some wonderful friends mashallah that attend masjiid here and have been to two of them and prefer (of course) the one further away. I am trying to organize some "dinners" with other couples and I think eventually he'll find some he will naturally click with.

Amal the new cook book i am sure will help but i totally dig the idea of having his mother write everything down i've always been a "traditions" kind of girl when it comes to "family recipes"

My husband says i shouldn't worry about him that he can live "anywhere" says the man that only lived in morocco and just moved to spain and hates that they only can speak one language...lol I just listen to what he says about life there and tell him it's worse here for him and he always says "but you're there" sure that will last how long??? Anyway, I started a list and am writting things down so when he gets ready to board his plane i can run around and just focus on my list.

i am worried about the budgeting thing but heck i'll roll with the punches.