American Manners vs. Canadian Manners

[Kathryn41 3,205]

The 'uh uhn' instead of 'thank you' and no ' you're welcome' are the ones I really notice - not just from my husband but from my friends as well. Oh - and, no 'yes, please' or ' no, thank you'- it is 'un uhn' or 'uhn uhn' or just 'no'. I also notice the lack of 'excuse me' or "I'm sorry" if someone bumps you in the line shopping or something - they just move on which seems really really strange not to have any type of interaction other than my apology - even if they were the ones at fault (yeah, it's a Canadian thing).

Something I have noticed in the South which is nice is the tendency to call all women "Miss" followed by their first name. So, at the Doctor's office I am Miss Kathryn; at the vet's office one of my cats is "Miss Abbie"; friends introduce me to people as "Miss Kathryn" - and it isn't related to age - I have had 70 year old married women introduced to me as "Miss XXX". Different - but nice.

Edited December 10, 2008 by Kathryn41

[Sprailenes 47]

The whole pointing a gun at someone if they cut you off on the freeway is definitely something I have to get used to.

[JillA 2]

The whole pointing a gun at someone if they cut you off on the freeway is definitely something I have to get used to.

[aravis227 1]

The 'uh uhn' instead of 'thank you' and no ' you're welcome' are the ones I really notice - not just from my husband but from my friends as well. Oh - and, no 'yes, please' or ' no, thank you'- it is 'un uhn' or 'uhn uhn' or just 'no'. I also notice the lack of 'excuse me' or "I'm sorry" if someone bumps you in the line shopping or something - they just move on which seems really really strange not to have any type of interaction other than my apology - even if they were the ones at fault (yeah, it's a Canadian thing).

I think stuff like this is why my husband's Canadian relatives tell me that they forget I'm from the US. This kind of thing drives me nuts! Please at least do me the courtesy of looking at me when you talk and using real words. The other one that drives me nuts here, and my husband is starting to understand, is going to the grocery store and people have their screaming children with them. Walmart is particularly notorious for it around here...all of these with moms and dads pushing the cart making goo-goo eyes because it's the only time they get to leave the house together and ignoring their 5 or 6 kids who are trailing behind screaming, grabbing stuff, and bumping into other shoppers.

Yeah...we talked pretty seriously about moving to Canada instead of here.

[MissStacey 1]

The 'uh uhn' instead of 'thank you' and no ' you're welcome' are the ones I really notice - not just from my husband but from my friends as well. Oh - and, no 'yes, please' or ' no, thank you'- it is 'un uhn' or 'uhn uhn' or just 'no'. I also notice the lack of 'excuse me' or "I'm sorry" if someone bumps you in the line shopping or something - they just move on which seems really really strange not to have any type of interaction other than my apology - even if they were the ones at fault (yeah, it's a Canadian thing).

Something I have noticed in the South which is nice is the tendency to call all women "Miss" followed by their first name. So, at the Doctor's office I am Miss Kathryn; at the vet's office one of my cats is "Miss Abbie"; friends introduce me to people as "Miss Kathryn" - and it isn't related to age - I have had 70 year old married women introduced to me as "Miss XXX". Different - but nice.

I like the Miss thing too.

Yesterday my stepson called me Stacey and Mel made him correct himself and say Miss Stacey.

[jundp 191]

Something I have noticed in the South which is nice is the tendency to call all women "Miss" followed by their first name. So, at the Doctor's office I am Miss Kathryn; at the vet's office one of my cats is "Miss Abbie"; friends introduce me to people as "Miss Kathryn" - and it isn't related to age - I have had 70 year old married women introduced to me as "Miss XXX". Different - but nice.

I miss the "miss" thing My students back home called me "Miss Jen" and ALWAYS said "ma'am." Whereas here I'm Ms P (which is fine, but not the same) and no one has ever called me "ma'am" here except the one kid whose family is from Georgia

Oh, and I'm with you all on the shoes thing. My husband has trained all of us on that one!

[Emancipation 2]

The other one that drives me nuts here, and my husband is starting to understand, is going to the grocery store and people have their screaming children with them. Walmart is particularly notorious for it around here...all of these with moms and dads pushing the cart making goo-goo eyes because it's the only time they get to leave the house together and ignoring their 5 or 6 kids who are trailing behind screaming, grabbing stuff, and bumping into other shoppers.

wow that happens other places too??? boyz.. I thought it was just our Walmart!!! I always feel like I've been through a trauma after leaving our Walmart..

That last time we were there a mom was screaming at the top of her lungs every 15 seconds (and I timed it)... "Jared".. "Jared".... "Jared"..

He wouldn't keep up with her and she was just screaming at him instead of picking the little tike up and plopping her in her empty cart. I almost went over there and did it myself!

[kaya541 1]

I'm the USC, but one thing I've noticed while visiting my Canadian SO is that when we are in stores and someone needs to get past me in an aisle, they don't say 'excuse me' or 'pardon me', they just bump into us and go by. Or if they need something off the shelf in front of me, they just reach across me to get it - again no 'excuse me'. Also, nobody holds doors open for anyone up there. That's what I've noticed in BC anyway.

[Texanadian 10]

I'm the USC, but one thing I've noticed while visiting my Canadian SO is that when we are in stores and someone needs to get past me in an aisle, they don't say 'excuse me' or 'pardon me', they just bump into us and go by. Or if they need something off the shelf in front of me, they just reach across me to get it - again no 'excuse me'. Also, nobody holds doors open for anyone up there. That's what I've noticed in BC anyway.

Hahaha. My wife is on my case about that all the time. I'm from BC. Apparently down south, I'm supposed to hold the door open every single time we go anywhere! And there is a certain way that it's supposed to be done. If it's a pull door, easy enough. But if it's a push door, apparently I'm supposed to push it open and hold it open, but not walk through and hold it open or stand in the way while holding it open before walking through.

Hmmmm. Go go gadget arms.

To me, the door thing is whoever is walking first should be the one to open it for the next person. And it should alternate in terms of who does it.

We argue about walking speed too. I'm a fast walker. She's a slow walker. When it's 95° outside, the UV index is at 13, and it's muggy outside, why would I want to pidder padder across a parking lot somewhere? I move! Besides, I sunburn with the snap of the fingers. She doesn't.

I complain that people never hustle when they're in a crosswalk and I'm waiting for them to cross in my car. People up north make an effort not to hold up traffic while crossing.

The no shoes thing, we both agree on. Carpet is hard enough to keep clean without wearing dirty shoes on top of it. To say nothing about keeping your feet in shoes all day and all night = foot odour.

One time she got on my case because I tilted my soup bowl on it's corner so I could get the last bit of soup out with my spoon. Can't adjust the soup bowl? That's new.....So I decided to get even. I looked up the "proper etiquette" for restaurants. Well wouldn't you know it? You're supposed to eat soup by holding the spoon sideways to your mouth and sipping it off the side of the spoon. Not putting the whole spoon in your mouth as everybody does. And the napkin is to stay in your lap for the entire meal. You're not to wipe your face with it during the meal. I got on her case about those. But she doesn't think those rules apply. Ohhhh so it's different for you then?

[trailmix 77]

I'm the USC, but one thing I've noticed while visiting my Canadian SO is that when we are in stores and someone needs to get past me in an aisle, they don't say 'excuse me' or 'pardon me', they just bump into us and go by. Or if they need something off the shelf in front of me, they just reach across me to get it - again no 'excuse me'. Also, nobody holds doors open for anyone up there. That's what I've noticed in BC anyway.

I have personally rarely experienced this in Calgary - but i've never lived in B.C. - I would be surprised if this was a generalized thing. However, perhaps we can deduce from this that Canadian's are as rude, if not ruder than Americans - well people from B.C. anyway. OP, does that help at all?

Hmmmm. Go go gadget arms.

Edited December 11, 2008 by trailmix

[TayL 0]

Oh, I have no doubt that the rudeness is equal!

It's not about who's ruder. It's about which manners are where. I mean, if the custom is to *not* take off your shoes in a specific area, then you're not violating any rules of etiquette by leaving your shoes on. Conversely, if the rule of thumb is to remove your shoes in your area, and you leave them on, you're breaking the rules.

This sort of thing. It's about the differences.

[BermyCat 1]

Hahaha. My wife is on my case about that all the time. I'm from BC. Apparently down south, I'm supposed to hold the door open every single time we go anywhere! And there is a certain way that it's supposed to be done. If it's a pull door, easy enough. But if it's a push door, apparently I'm supposed to push it open and hold it open, but not walk through and hold it open or stand in the way while holding it open before walking through.

Hmmmm. Go go gadget arms.

To me, the door thing is whoever is walking first should be the one to open it for the next person. And it should alternate in terms of who does it.

I always went with the rule of thumb that whoever went through the door first held it open for the next person. I've given up and assimilated now since Phil, and sometimes strangers, rush past me to get to the door first and hold it open. I"m getting spoiled.

~ Catherine

[xtinab 0]

The other one that drives me nuts here, and my husband is starting to understand, is going to the grocery store and people have their screaming children with them. Walmart is particularly notorious for it around here...all of these with moms and dads pushing the cart making goo-goo eyes because it's the only time they get to leave the house together and ignoring their 5 or 6 kids who are trailing behind screaming, grabbing stuff, and bumping into other shoppers.

wow that happens other places too??? boyz.. I thought it was just our Walmart!!! I always feel like I've been through a trauma after leaving our Walmart..

That last time we were there a mom was screaming at the top of her lungs every 15 seconds (and I timed it)... "Jared".. "Jared".... "Jared"..

He wouldn't keep up with her and she was just screaming at him instead of picking the little tike up and plopping her in her empty cart. I almost went over there and did it myself!

[trailmix 77]

Oh, I have no doubt that the rudeness is equal!

It's not about who's ruder. It's about which manners are where. I mean, if the custom is to *not* take off your shoes in a specific area, then you're not violating any rules of etiquette by leaving your shoes on. Conversely, if the rule of thumb is to remove your shoes in your area, and you leave them on, you're breaking the rules.

This sort of thing. It's about the differences.

Edited December 11, 2008 by trailmix

[aravis227 1]

The other one that drives me nuts here, and my husband is starting to understand, is going to the grocery store and people have their screaming children with them. Walmart is particularly notorious for it around here...all of these with moms and dads pushing the cart making goo-goo eyes because it's the only time they get to leave the house together and ignoring their 5 or 6 kids who are trailing behind screaming, grabbing stuff, and bumping into other shoppers.

wow that happens other places too??? boyz.. I thought it was just our Walmart!!! I always feel like I've been through a trauma after leaving our Walmart..

That last time we were there a mom was screaming at the top of her lungs every 15 seconds (and I timed it)... "Jared".. "Jared".... "Jared"..

He wouldn't keep up with her and she was just screaming at him instead of picking the little tike up and plopping her in her empty cart. I almost went over there and did it myself!

lol...I'm from Utah, which means the polygamist and the woman with >4 toddlers are free spots for me!