Double lives of visa journey petitioners ( what we dont really want to post)

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

Kat I think one of the reasons why people get irritated at your thread is because for at least a year you WENT OFF whenever anyone dared to even whisper that things werent perfect in their homes - surely you can go back yourself and pull up some of the old threads full of your rants that no one had a right to complain if their husbands were already here. Now the pendulum swings the other way and you do a 180 on a public message board? no one's memory is that short.

EVERYONE here is sorry for what you have gone through in the last months and honestly I saw acts of kindness from this group towards you that sometimes reaffirmed my belief in the goodness of my fellow humans. But the pain and possible failure of your marriage is YOUR story, not everyone else's. SO leave it at that and continue healing yourself (you DO sound much better lately...)

This topic should have been titled "Misery Loves Company".

You took the thought right out of my head!

Im am so sick and tired of reading over and over and OVER again about this. But, when I respond directly to wah..its like talking to a wall. (sorry but it is)Wah said that some people are afraid to post becasue they get jumped on...by who? Wah, you are the MAIN and sometimes only culprit on threads where people are just venting.

Lisa

So true...and everyone keeps feeding into it. Just stop responding people!

Very beautiful baby in your banner... I am sorry I am SO HORRIBLE JP and so deserving of getting my head bashed in when I very well am telling the truth....

[sussemadel 16]

I'm sorry ...i'm a little confused. HIT, you have stated earlier he abused you and used you, now you say you don't think he used you, and might possibly get back together with him. I think everyone is confused as to how you can complain about someone openly, then in the next breath, say you might get back together?? If he's not highly educated and you wish you never met him, broke you laptop into smithereens (from another post complaining), and so many other abuses, why the heck would you complain and then say you might get back together?? SORRY it's so strange to read these things..

BTW you were so fast to jump on Martiniolive too, and jumped to conclusions, it's hard for everyone not to suspect misery loves company with you sometimes...

[morocco4ever 63]

This topic should have been titled "Misery Loves Company".

You took the thought right out of my head!

Im am so sick and tired of reading over and over and OVER again about this. But, when I respond directly to wah..its like talking to a wall. (sorry but it is)

Wah said that some people are afraid to post becasue they get jumped on...by who? Wah, you are the MAIN and sometimes only culprit on threads where people are just venting.

and now you will post about how my situation is different because im young and its "easier" for him to love me. and btw, in a year that went from.. "your situation is different you guys have a love story", to "your situation is different", to "your young so its easier".

ok sorry I had to say that I guess.

Lisa

And my marriage was doomed because I am an older woman married to a Moroccan. I don't quite get it, he has his 10 year GC and is still around. What is he waiting for?

Kat, you are a passionate woman, but your right, not a lick of common sense at the moment. I hope things get easier for you soon.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

This topic should have been titled "Misery Loves Company".

You took the thought right out of my head!

Im am so sick and tired of reading over and over and OVER again about this. But, when I respond directly to wah..its like talking to a wall. (sorry but it is)

Wah said that some people are afraid to post becasue they get jumped on...by who? Wah, you are the MAIN and sometimes only culprit on threads where people are just venting.

and now you will post about how my situation is different because im young and its "easier" for him to love me. and btw, in a year that went from.. "your situation is different you guys have a love story", to "your situation is different", to "your young so its easier".

ok sorry I had to say that I guess.

Lisa

And my marriage was doomed because I am an older woman married to a Moroccan. I don't quite get it, he has his 10 year GC and is still around. What is he waiting for?

Kat, you are a passionate woman, but your right, not a lick of common sense at the moment. I hope things get easier for you soon.

He may not be using you. But arent you glad there is a place to come talk to people if bad things happen and to understand things better and get advice. If it doesnt apply to you, dont take it as gospel. But know that you have a forum to talk about things and its nice to know IMHO whos been through things so you can talk to them and go to them as a resource

[♥JP♥ 5]

Hey Lisa,

I will give you an example. When one girl got married in Tunisia, she had no problems. It didnt cost her extraordinary money and was an easy process, right?

When I got married there every single person working with us demanded bribes and what should have cost us like 50 dollars ending up costing 600 dollars just to get married paperwork wise. Lightening strikes different places..

I also have befriended the most amazing Moroccan woman who has a child 6 months older than my daughter ( who is arabic as well) she is learning arabic, arabic cooking and bought a house 2 miles away and they play together. I have nothing against all mena people. One of my very best friends is Moroccan and she doesnt need a greencard from me or anything from me. She just likes me. She thinks I am a little HAMAKA but she knows I have a good heart.

Each one of us has a different set of circumstances. You are tired of reading my posts cause it is not happening to YOU.

But unfortunately since I have been here its happened to over 10 women on this forum and presently some on here are living in roomate situations, posting as if they are still with their husbands and god knows what.

I know you are sick of reading my posts but frankly Id rather tell the truth about whats happening and hear truthful opinions. I may have to wade through people who dont like me like you and some others but there are others on here going through similar things and if I am HONEST about whats going on, we can talk together.

And no not everyone has a bad situation but if we all just post bunnies and rainbows and we arent honest with the others on the forum, why are we posting to begin with? I would hope that we would try to help each other by posting the good and the bad and being open

If this is just a place to post happy things, let me fall in line. Ill post rainbows and cat threads.

I have too many real friends on here to refrain from being emotionally honest with them

You know Wahrania, your post has made me remember something really important. Jackie went through a very difficult breakup but she was very graceful about it and didn't try to spread her misery around. Jackie made a yahoo group for others who have gone through the same thing, she took it OFFLINE. You can do the same. If you are so concerned about other women going through the same thing, make your own yahoo group.

Its true you might find a few women on this forum who are unhappy but for the most part everyone here is happy and your posts do not apply. If you really want to help others, there are better ways of doing it.

[Y's_habibitk 2]

This topic should have been titled "Misery Loves Company".

You took the thought right out of my head!

Im am so sick and tired of reading over and over and OVER again about this. But, when I respond directly to wah..its like talking to a wall. (sorry but it is)

Wah said that some people are afraid to post becasue they get jumped on...by who? Wah, you are the MAIN and sometimes only culprit on threads where people are just venting.

and now you will post about how my situation is different because im young and its "easier" for him to love me. and btw, in a year that went from.. "your situation is different you guys have a love story", to "your situation is different", to "your young so its easier".

ok sorry I had to say that I guess.

Lisa

And my marriage was doomed because I am an older woman married to a Moroccan. I don't quite get it, he has his 10 year GC and is still around. What is he waiting for?

Kat, you are a passionate woman, but your right, not a lick of common sense at the moment. I hope things get easier for you soon.

He may not be using you. But arent you glad there is a place to come talk to people if bad things happen and to understand things better and get advice. If it doesnt apply to you, dont take it as gospel. But know that you have a forum to talk about things and its nice to know IMHO whos been through things so you can talk to them and go to them as a resource

You are right and it is SO nice and important to have someone elses experience to utilize..in any context.

BUT when you are not objective and assume ANY little issue is the end of the world, then no.. I dont think it is healthy nor helpful. It then actually hinders someone from coming on and looking for support.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

I'm sorry ...i'm a little confused. HIT, you have stated earlier he abused you and used you, now you say you don't think he used you, and might possibly get back together with him. I think everyone is confused as to how you can complain about someone openly, then in the next breath, say you might get back together?? If he's not highly educated and you wish you never met him, broke you laptop into smithereens (from another post complaining), and so many other abuses, why the heck would you complain and then say you might get back together?? SORRY it's so strange to read these things..

BTW you were so fast to jump on Martiniolive too, and jumped to conclusions, it's hard for everyone not to suspect misery loves company with you sometimes...

Its not strange. Its real time and I am grieving the loss of my child which is overwhelming

We are not living together presently. I wish that he would get help and that we could build our life but sometimes you have to bury lots of things that pass away, including marriages.

For me, its hour to hour surviving. Not day to day..I love him because he is the last link to my child who I will never see again...( I am crying.. I know no one could understand that kind of weird love) But I know that sometimes no matter how much we love, things we need sometimes disappear and we just lose.

I miss him. Not how he acted. I miss my child..

I think anyone who has loved someone who didnt act right could understand. Bad behavior doesnt stop love on your end.. it just helps you ride through the pain of the loss

I still stand firm on what happened with Martini olive. I am happy if she is happy. It unnerved me how fast he was willing to book when he felt he may not have his visa..

As for everyone here, without a couple people on this forum, I would have commited suicide in the days that followed my childs death. Thanks for calling me and being there for me as I sat there in silence

[Badrs Love 0]

This topic should have been titled "Misery Loves Company".

You took the thought right out of my head!

Im am so sick and tired of reading over and over and OVER again about this. But, when I respond directly to wah..its like talking to a wall. (sorry but it is)

Wah said that some people are afraid to post becasue they get jumped on...by who? Wah, you are the MAIN and sometimes only culprit on threads where people are just venting.

and now you will post about how my situation is different because im young and its "easier" for him to love me. and btw, in a year that went from.. "your situation is different you guys have a love story", to "your situation is different", to "your young so its easier".

ok sorry I had to say that I guess.

Lisa

And my marriage was doomed because I am an older woman married to a Moroccan. I don't quite get it, he has his 10 year GC and is still around. What is he waiting for?

Kat, you are a passionate woman, but your right, not a lick of common sense at the moment. I hope things get easier for you soon.

And she was all on board with telling me my husband was a murderer and should never come to America. And look at us now, he's here, gonna be working soon and we're starting a family. All of the judgements only made me stronger, not wallow in self pity.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

Hey Lisa,

I will give you an example. When one girl got married in Tunisia, she had no problems. It didnt cost her extraordinary money and was an easy process, right?

When I got married there every single person working with us demanded bribes and what should have cost us like 50 dollars ending up costing 600 dollars just to get married paperwork wise. Lightening strikes different places..

I also have befriended the most amazing Moroccan woman who has a child 6 months older than my daughter ( who is arabic as well) she is learning arabic, arabic cooking and bought a house 2 miles away and they play together. I have nothing against all mena people. One of my very best friends is Moroccan and she doesnt need a greencard from me or anything from me. She just likes me. She thinks I am a little HAMAKA but she knows I have a good heart.

Each one of us has a different set of circumstances. You are tired of reading my posts cause it is not happening to YOU.

But unfortunately since I have been here its happened to over 10 women on this forum and presently some on here are living in roomate situations, posting as if they are still with their husbands and god knows what.

I know you are sick of reading my posts but frankly Id rather tell the truth about whats happening and hear truthful opinions. I may have to wade through people who dont like me like you and some others but there are others on here going through similar things and if I am HONEST about whats going on, we can talk together.

And no not everyone has a bad situation but if we all just post bunnies and rainbows and we arent honest with the others on the forum, why are we posting to begin with? I would hope that we would try to help each other by posting the good and the bad and being open

If this is just a place to post happy things, let me fall in line. Ill post rainbows and cat threads.

I have too many real friends on here to refrain from being emotionally honest with them

You know Wahrania, your post has made me remember something really important. Jackie went through a very difficult breakup but she was very graceful about it and didn't try to spread her misery around. Jackie made a yahoo group for others who have gone through the same thing, she took it OFFLINE. You can do the same. If you are so concerned about other women going through the same thing, make your own yahoo group.

Its true you might find a few women on this forum who are unhappy but for the most part everyone here is happy and your posts do not apply. If you really want to help others, there are better ways of doing it.

I am sorry I havent been graceful and I am not Jackie. I just post how I feel about things and I am not UNHAPPY with every aspect of my life and have had some good times in MENA and with MENA people. I wanted to make a poll that would sum up several things that I was thinking. Look at the poll results and see for yourself

Hug your baby. I am missing mine today...I can visit him in the cemetary for thanksgiving but Ill never hold him again

Dont tell me what and how to post. I have a right to post when and how I want like everyone else on here . I dont calculate my posts nor do I plan out every thing I say. I just talk as things are happening

to those of you who call me and dont think I am useless here.. thank you. I ve needed you so badly and I appreciate you so much. You know who you are

[morocco4ever 63]

This topic should have been titled "Misery Loves Company".

You took the thought right out of my head!

Im am so sick and tired of reading over and over and OVER again about this. But, when I respond directly to wah..its like talking to a wall. (sorry but it is)

Wah said that some people are afraid to post becasue they get jumped on...by who? Wah, you are the MAIN and sometimes only culprit on threads where people are just venting.

and now you will post about how my situation is different because im young and its "easier" for him to love me. and btw, in a year that went from.. "your situation is different you guys have a love story", to "your situation is different", to "your young so its easier".

ok sorry I had to say that I guess.

Lisa

And my marriage was doomed because I am an older woman married to a Moroccan. I don't quite get it, he has his 10 year GC and is still around. What is he waiting for?

Kat, you are a passionate woman, but your right, not a lick of common sense at the moment. I hope things get easier for you soon.

He may not be using you. But arent you glad there is a place to come talk to people if bad things happen and to understand things better and get advice. If it doesnt apply to you, dont take it as gospel. But know that you have a forum to talk about things and its nice to know IMHO whos been through things so you can talk to them and go to them as a resource

Kat, if I had taken to heart the things you posted about MENA men marrying older women for the visa I probably would have ended it with him to avoid being hurt. I can't imagine my life if I had listened to you. I have found a good man, and I am happier than I have ever been in my life. My life before was so totally different than this, and I am grateful that I didn't let bitterness and anger get in the way to finding what I now have.

Some people do need to talk it out. Sometimes it is blatant fraud, sometimes they aren't. Nothing wrong with being honest as long as we can remain objective. Unfortunately you haven't been able to do that for quite some time.

I know your heart Kat, I know you don't want anyone to have to go through what you have gone through. I am glad you want to help. I just wish you would heal yourself enough to see things objectively before you start offering assistance to others. I know in your heart you are a sweetheart.

There is another forum here for divorces. When you have healed that might be a good place to go when you want to guide people.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

This topic should have been titled "Misery Loves Company".

You took the thought right out of my head!

Im am so sick and tired of reading over and over and OVER again about this. But, when I respond directly to wah..its like talking to a wall. (sorry but it is)

Wah said that some people are afraid to post becasue they get jumped on...by who? Wah, you are the MAIN and sometimes only culprit on threads where people are just venting.

and now you will post about how my situation is different because im young and its "easier" for him to love me. and btw, in a year that went from.. "your situation is different you guys have a love story", to "your situation is different", to "your young so its easier".

ok sorry I had to say that I guess.

Lisa

And my marriage was doomed because I am an older woman married to a Moroccan. I don't quite get it, he has his 10 year GC and is still around. What is he waiting for?

Kat, you are a passionate woman, but your right, not a lick of common sense at the moment. I hope things get easier for you soon.

And she was all on board with telling me my husband was a murderer and should never come to America. And look at us now, he's here, gonna be working soon and we're starting a family. All of the judgements only made me stronger, not wallow in self pity.

First I never called your husband a murderer. Women on visa journey who knew your husband from another board ( I guess a yahoo group) said his wife was ill taken care of and not brought to a hospital when she was sick. She subsequently ( his ex wife ) died. I didnt know a thing about your husband. One of your friends who was also on the board contacted alot of people here and told them things as well. She knows your husband as well. I personally dont know you and dont know your husband but I know he cant be all that bad cause he got his visa. If someone thought he killed her, he wouldnt have gotten it.

I am happy you are pregnant and taken care of and loved. I would never bash you for trying to be pregnant or happy

But alot of the stuff about your husband and the weird circumstances of his ex wifes death came from people here posting that knew about it off the boards and brought it here.. I heard other things from others that knew them. I drew my own conclusions and the conclusion I drew was that there was no malice on his part ( although many on the forum had other ideas) and he got his visa and if he was bad in any way, he wouldnt have gotten it , thats for sure

[HannahP 119]

Hug your baby. I am missing mine today...I can visit him in the cemetary for thanksgiving but Ill never hold him again

So a thread didn't turn out the way you wanted it to & now you're being blatantly manipulative with the very people who have supported you through this whole mess? Gee.

[me_4_musa 1]

This topic should have been titled "Misery Loves Company".

You took the thought right out of my head!

Im am so sick and tired of reading over and over and OVER again about this. But, when I respond directly to wah..its like talking to a wall. (sorry but it is)

Wah said that some people are afraid to post becasue they get jumped on...by who? Wah, you are the MAIN and sometimes only culprit on threads where people are just venting.

and now you will post about how my situation is different because im young and its "easier" for him to love me. and btw, in a year that went from.. "your situation is different you guys have a love story", to "your situation is different", to "your young so its easier".

ok sorry I had to say that I guess.

Lisa

And my marriage was doomed because I am an older woman married to a Moroccan. I don't quite get it, he has his 10 year GC and is still around. What is he waiting for?

Kat, you are a passionate woman, but your right, not a lick of common sense at the moment. I hope things get easier for you soon.

And she was all on board with telling me my husband was a murderer and should never come to America. And look at us now, he's here, gonna be working soon and we're starting a family. All of the judgements only made me stronger, not wallow in self pity.

Wowzers! I must of missed that discussion. I gotta find that and catch up.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

Hug your baby. I am missing mine today...I can visit him in the cemetary for thanksgiving but Ill never hold him again

So a thread didn't turn out the way you wanted it to & now you're being blatantly manipulative with the very people who have supported you through this whole mess? Gee.

I didnt want the thread to turn out a certain way. I was just posting as I was thinking things.. and the people who are making comments to me DID NOT SUPPORT ME during this. The ones who are saying things to me that are nasty were not the people who I have ever talked to.. they dont know me..You cant know people from typing. You know them from real life

[morocco4ever 63]

You cant know people from typing. You know them from real life

Exactly.